Ice ice baby.
There's a snowpocalypse coming, and I'm hoping it overs quickly, as I've got plans this weekend. 2-4 inches coming down tonight, but I have a meeting at 9, then a drive to Bellevue at 5, then a weekend of multiple parties, lots of fun, and hanging with friends I see maybe a handful of times a year. Dear, good friends who I love dearly, but only communicate via social media, save for the few times we meet and drunkenly acknowledge our love fore ach other. Alas how distance makes communication difficult.
Been thinking about friendship and time, and how that tends to work against itself. Spacetime works against love- I don't see my friends often because I do not have time, nor am I close. But I guess that's part of growing up. My levels of busyness are increasing exponentially to a point where my friends, if they should ever get ahold of me, want to do whatever will please me. Which I appreciate, but it does make me feel a bit weird.
That being said, I also make it clear that I don't have a lot of bandwidth, and will not do something that isn't interesting to me. So it's sort of a mixed message. If something is going to bore the shit out of me, I have no interest in doing it, as I'd rather then just focus on something else, or veg at home and relax, slowly gaining MP.
Rest has always fascinated me. Not sleep, but restfulness. Relaxation. Sometimes I think I get too much of it, other times not enough. On paper, I'm really busy, but my day job has been super slow. That being said, there's been a lot of latent anxiety for no reason, and it's rendering me less competent than I should be, given the insomnia, drinking, stress eating, etc. that comes with. I think the most recent bout is simply SAD, the darkness of winter given reign over my mind and behavior, to the point of me craving contact with my friends and parties. Which is why I'm hoping the weather clears up by Friday, as I really do want to see my friends.
Been trying to not sleep in as much. Working from home grants me the ability to doze as I see fit- I work out of bed, clear my inbox and the immediate tasks that require my attention, putting off later duties until I've had some caffeine, and then the cat curls up to me and I drift off. Only problem is, I find it very easy to go back to sleep when I'm in a warm bed with a loving cat, but very hard to fall asleep when I'm staring at the ceiling, trying to get myself to fall asleep so I can work in the morning. I would say I have a lot of lethargy, but it's all driven by poor sleep habits, fueled by the schedule my body automatically assumes given it can- a 3am to noon slog, which was what I was able to do as a social worker. I'd stay up playing Second Life till 3am, then crash hard, my mind and body exhausted. I'd often take my run at 9 or 10 pm. I miss that, and my body misses that. I now have been doing treadmill stuff, not running but taking very long inclined walks that accompany a movie, guaranteeing at least 1200 kcals burned. I'm not seeing much in the way of results at this time, but I don't expect it to go quickly.
I just hate how long this week has been taking. Time has been so incredibly slow while I wait, and yet I know once the weekend hits, it will fly by like a dream.
So. Frustrating.
Anyway, whatever. Life goes on. I need to focus more on the gym, having a better diet (which I'm starting to request homecooked meals more, so that's a start), and thinking positive thoughts. It's just kind of hard, given the shit year 2016 has been.
Anyway, that's about it.
Germboy, out/Peace.
Been thinking about friendship and time, and how that tends to work against itself. Spacetime works against love- I don't see my friends often because I do not have time, nor am I close. But I guess that's part of growing up. My levels of busyness are increasing exponentially to a point where my friends, if they should ever get ahold of me, want to do whatever will please me. Which I appreciate, but it does make me feel a bit weird.
That being said, I also make it clear that I don't have a lot of bandwidth, and will not do something that isn't interesting to me. So it's sort of a mixed message. If something is going to bore the shit out of me, I have no interest in doing it, as I'd rather then just focus on something else, or veg at home and relax, slowly gaining MP.
Rest has always fascinated me. Not sleep, but restfulness. Relaxation. Sometimes I think I get too much of it, other times not enough. On paper, I'm really busy, but my day job has been super slow. That being said, there's been a lot of latent anxiety for no reason, and it's rendering me less competent than I should be, given the insomnia, drinking, stress eating, etc. that comes with. I think the most recent bout is simply SAD, the darkness of winter given reign over my mind and behavior, to the point of me craving contact with my friends and parties. Which is why I'm hoping the weather clears up by Friday, as I really do want to see my friends.
Been trying to not sleep in as much. Working from home grants me the ability to doze as I see fit- I work out of bed, clear my inbox and the immediate tasks that require my attention, putting off later duties until I've had some caffeine, and then the cat curls up to me and I drift off. Only problem is, I find it very easy to go back to sleep when I'm in a warm bed with a loving cat, but very hard to fall asleep when I'm staring at the ceiling, trying to get myself to fall asleep so I can work in the morning. I would say I have a lot of lethargy, but it's all driven by poor sleep habits, fueled by the schedule my body automatically assumes given it can- a 3am to noon slog, which was what I was able to do as a social worker. I'd stay up playing Second Life till 3am, then crash hard, my mind and body exhausted. I'd often take my run at 9 or 10 pm. I miss that, and my body misses that. I now have been doing treadmill stuff, not running but taking very long inclined walks that accompany a movie, guaranteeing at least 1200 kcals burned. I'm not seeing much in the way of results at this time, but I don't expect it to go quickly.
I just hate how long this week has been taking. Time has been so incredibly slow while I wait, and yet I know once the weekend hits, it will fly by like a dream.
So. Frustrating.
Anyway, whatever. Life goes on. I need to focus more on the gym, having a better diet (which I'm starting to request homecooked meals more, so that's a start), and thinking positive thoughts. It's just kind of hard, given the shit year 2016 has been.
Anyway, that's about it.
Germboy, out/Peace.