If I was beautiful like you.
Mmm lately I love Garbage. They're... well... amazing. I feel so lost, confused. It's like I know what I want, but I don't. And even if I did, it feels so far away. And I just can't grab it. I'm torn apart. I'm doing what I've always done, spread myself thin. And yes, many times I think I need to... I can't help that so many people need a shoulder to cry on. But I only have two shoulders, and I'm only one person. And I have enough issues. Don't get me wrong, my family and my friends always have and always will come before my own issues. It's part of who I am. But I don't know anymore. Do you know, that in the last week, I know of 26 people who passed away. And granted, I didn't know any of them personally, but my family and my friends did. And so I feel like I need to be there to support them. And I always will be, don't get me wrong... I'm just... I don't know. It doesn't help that today is all dreary and wet. I'm so confused. I'm so hurt. I just want to give up, on everything. But I'm not a quitter... so here I am, when you need a shoulder, a laugh, someone to force you to eat. [like I should talk, I hardly eat anymore] I can't... everything I try to eat makes me feel sick. Exams start the second week of May... I just don't know anymore. I just don't know.