Clear air, clear mind
So I guess some clarity would be pretty helpful regarding the last post.
I don't always feel like that, especially not here. In fact, shortly after that post, I started to feel better already. The improved state of mind can be credited to the capability to actually vent my feelings about these things, which is nothing short of therapeutic in and of itself, along with my day having picked up after that.
The fact she's a girl could account for a lot of that. I did think about various other causes (convenient as it is to have reasons and excuses and what-have-you), but there's like a billion factors to think about here, and NOT blaming myself, i.e. being forced to take all of these possibilities into consideration, tends to cause a massive headache.
I plan to do my best in not forgetting these things. I'm not going to write it off as stupidity of the brain, because it's very recent and still very fresh pain. But the good must be taken with the bad, because if the bad wasn't there the good wouldn't be good so much as normal, now would it?
But, yeah...As vaguely hinted at prior, I'm going to be taking a trip for around one week to Tokyo. There, I will meet with some old friends from a couple of years past who already graduated, possibly make some new ones (a ridiculously slim possibility, actually) and see some familiar faces for the first time. If that makes any sense...in person, I guess I should say.
The schedule here is pretty ridiculous. With a few breaks interspersed here and there I generally spend every day working from 9-7:30 on things of all varieties: boring, hard, fun, stupid, boring-stupid-hard-fun, you name it. But at the end of the day I'm still finishing at 7:30 and am left with little time to focus on other things like photography or the "research" we should be doing for some thesis of sorts I'm required to write.
Anyway, that's that. There's the ups and the downs, and before I know it I'll be back in America.
But now, I'm heading back to the dorms to shower and do laundry. Fancy that.
I don't always feel like that, especially not here. In fact, shortly after that post, I started to feel better already. The improved state of mind can be credited to the capability to actually vent my feelings about these things, which is nothing short of therapeutic in and of itself, along with my day having picked up after that.
The fact she's a girl could account for a lot of that. I did think about various other causes (convenient as it is to have reasons and excuses and what-have-you), but there's like a billion factors to think about here, and NOT blaming myself, i.e. being forced to take all of these possibilities into consideration, tends to cause a massive headache.
I plan to do my best in not forgetting these things. I'm not going to write it off as stupidity of the brain, because it's very recent and still very fresh pain. But the good must be taken with the bad, because if the bad wasn't there the good wouldn't be good so much as normal, now would it?
But, yeah...As vaguely hinted at prior, I'm going to be taking a trip for around one week to Tokyo. There, I will meet with some old friends from a couple of years past who already graduated, possibly make some new ones (a ridiculously slim possibility, actually) and see some familiar faces for the first time. If that makes any sense...in person, I guess I should say.
The schedule here is pretty ridiculous. With a few breaks interspersed here and there I generally spend every day working from 9-7:30 on things of all varieties: boring, hard, fun, stupid, boring-stupid-hard-fun, you name it. But at the end of the day I'm still finishing at 7:30 and am left with little time to focus on other things like photography or the "research" we should be doing for some thesis of sorts I'm required to write.
Anyway, that's that. There's the ups and the downs, and before I know it I'll be back in America.
But now, I'm heading back to the dorms to shower and do laundry. Fancy that.