(no subject)
lot about this lately .. but .. gender issues. [quite disorganized and thrown together - sorry about that, but really, look at the time label.]'>
I am really, really, really tired of being a woman.
Many of the women I admire (strong, independent) seem to thoughtlessly resent other women. Whether it's territoriality or simple disgust with typical women behavior, they do everything they can to close off, chase off, alienate other females that approach their social circle .. often without (it seems to me) giving them a fair chance to prove themselves to be interesting, fun people much like themselves.
Basically .. I'm been feeling more and more defensive of my gender lately. It feels confusing. I deeply resent the stereotypes and preconceptions about women - that any sexual behavior is disgusting, that we need a man to be happy, that displays of aggression are "bitchy" rather than assertive. But what I resent inutterably more is the fact that every day I see other women acting on those preconceptions and even using them to rationalize or justify either their own behavior or their response to another woman's behavior ("she broke up with my male friend; she must have just been some crazy bitch"). If the battle against these societal beliefs was clearly marked - women vs men - I would be much more comfortable with it. However I currently feel that it's me against the world.
(My opinion: if some other girl's going after your guy you have the right to be somewhat territorial, or if the girl in question is genuinely fucking annoying one has the right to respond accordingly. But lack of penis is simply not a good reason to shun anyone.)
Maybe it's getting too serious to me, but it's been stewing in the back of my mind since high school at least. I dress the way I do - comfortable shoes, baggy jeans - because I don't want to be seen as some skanky hoebag. But if I think about it that's just letting the stereotype win. Then again, the more I think about it, it seems like I ought to be dressing the way I really, truly, deeply want to dress, but when I consider that, I have no idea how that would actually be. In trying to avoid sending incorrect messages about my personality, I honestly forget what it is that I like. And so on.
A few recent gender gripes that I've been gritting my teeth over:
1) Axe/Tag commercials. AKA, the ones where the guy sprays the product upon himself and a whole pack of beautiful women reacts like animals, knocks him over and begins humping him (or variations upon this theme). I realize these commercials aren't meant seriously, but at the same time it grates on my nerves that anyone even thought those were clever.
2) My mom's cousin Minnie works in a chemical company, and Mom was talking to her about my soon-to-begin job-finding process. Minnie assured Mom I'd have an easier time of it because I'm a woman and companies have quotas to fill.
3) Echo trying to convince us that women are inherently far more frail then men (this because someone passed out at the choir concert) because of our 'time of the month' and therefore cannot stand on our feet for as long. Bitch, please.
(that was by no means an exhaustive list, just those that come to mind at this 3:30am)
Anyway .. conclusion .. I have a hard time knowing what to do. I don't know if anyone else feels this way, and I know I act like I have a humorless stick shoved up my ass at the slightest mention of gender anything lately. For that I apologize to those who have had to deal with it and thank those who have restrained the urge to roll their eyes .. especially since it's mostly when I'm around guys that the issue comes up. I will try to relax about it .. at least around the people that I am reasonably sure like me for who I am.
I am really, really, really tired of being a woman.
Many of the women I admire (strong, independent) seem to thoughtlessly resent other women. Whether it's territoriality or simple disgust with typical women behavior, they do everything they can to close off, chase off, alienate other females that approach their social circle .. often without (it seems to me) giving them a fair chance to prove themselves to be interesting, fun people much like themselves.
Basically .. I'm been feeling more and more defensive of my gender lately. It feels confusing. I deeply resent the stereotypes and preconceptions about women - that any sexual behavior is disgusting, that we need a man to be happy, that displays of aggression are "bitchy" rather than assertive. But what I resent inutterably more is the fact that every day I see other women acting on those preconceptions and even using them to rationalize or justify either their own behavior or their response to another woman's behavior ("she broke up with my male friend; she must have just been some crazy bitch"). If the battle against these societal beliefs was clearly marked - women vs men - I would be much more comfortable with it. However I currently feel that it's me against the world.
(My opinion: if some other girl's going after your guy you have the right to be somewhat territorial, or if the girl in question is genuinely fucking annoying one has the right to respond accordingly. But lack of penis is simply not a good reason to shun anyone.)
Maybe it's getting too serious to me, but it's been stewing in the back of my mind since high school at least. I dress the way I do - comfortable shoes, baggy jeans - because I don't want to be seen as some skanky hoebag. But if I think about it that's just letting the stereotype win. Then again, the more I think about it, it seems like I ought to be dressing the way I really, truly, deeply want to dress, but when I consider that, I have no idea how that would actually be. In trying to avoid sending incorrect messages about my personality, I honestly forget what it is that I like. And so on.
A few recent gender gripes that I've been gritting my teeth over:
1) Axe/Tag commercials. AKA, the ones where the guy sprays the product upon himself and a whole pack of beautiful women reacts like animals, knocks him over and begins humping him (or variations upon this theme). I realize these commercials aren't meant seriously, but at the same time it grates on my nerves that anyone even thought those were clever.
2) My mom's cousin Minnie works in a chemical company, and Mom was talking to her about my soon-to-begin job-finding process. Minnie assured Mom I'd have an easier time of it because I'm a woman and companies have quotas to fill.
3) Echo trying to convince us that women are inherently far more frail then men (this because someone passed out at the choir concert) because of our 'time of the month' and therefore cannot stand on our feet for as long. Bitch, please.
(that was by no means an exhaustive list, just those that come to mind at this 3:30am)
Anyway .. conclusion .. I have a hard time knowing what to do. I don't know if anyone else feels this way, and I know I act like I have a humorless stick shoved up my ass at the slightest mention of gender anything lately. For that I apologize to those who have had to deal with it and thank those who have restrained the urge to roll their eyes .. especially since it's mostly when I'm around guys that the issue comes up. I will try to relax about it .. at least around the people that I am reasonably sure like me for who I am.