Unhappiness is a cultural thingclarsaFebruary 20 2009, 18:38:18 UTC
I agree with ic789. There are happy ghosts. But just like we don't pay much attention to our own happy circumstances/blessings, we don't pay attention to the happy ghosts. Occasionally we notice that a certain place feels calm and uplifting and full of beauty. But it doesn't occur to us to question what happened there that caused it. Bad stuff? Yeah, we want the back-story. "Boy meets girl and they live happily ever after." Boring. We want a story with some tragedy, some struggle, a villain!
Why? Fix-it mentality. It is not that way all over the world. I've traveled a lot. Some cultures are much more open to being in the moment, being aware of the good that is right now. But Americans are driven to root out all wrongs, discomforts, injustices, and FIX THEM! And we must not be happy until everything is PERFECT! Our unhappiness shows that we care and motivates us to act. Not true, but such a pervasive attitude in our society, we buy into it.
We use "happy" as the carrot and "unhappy" as the stick. The big lie is that we cannot be happy until all the work is done, until we have everything we want. "Dessert", ic789 called it.
Also, unhappiness feels more socially connecting. If I'm unhappy, I need my friends to call and take care of me, and take me out to cheer me up. If I'm happy, they can ignore me, right? My step-father once said, "If you and your sister fell off a cliff, I'd catch her, because you'd be OK." Well fuck you very much. The message is that the weak (or drama queens) get help, but those who embrace their strength and focus on the positive get to go splat! Cuz what, we bounce? I haven't quite worked that one out yet; how to be happy and connected in a culture that is unhappiness-affirming.
Being negative about your negativity does draw it to you. Think of your feelings as messages from your unconscious or "child-mind". If you ignore a child, it gets louder and more obnoxious. Listen to it. Nurture and protect it. Be gentle with yourself.
A panic attack is a strong message that something needs to change. So change something - anything! Go for a walk, take a shower, change your shirt! Have a dialogue with that non-verbal voice while you're moving. It's easier for your feelings to change while your environment is changing than while you stay in one place. Think of your panic attack as a psychic friend who doesn't speak very clearly. (You know how oracles are.) Welcome her. Honor her. Make an active effort to understand, and take her advice even if you don't understand it fully. You have wisdom beyond what you consciously perceive, and you are worthy of protection.
Why? Fix-it mentality. It is not that way all over the world. I've traveled a lot. Some cultures are much more open to being in the moment, being aware of the good that is right now. But Americans are driven to root out all wrongs, discomforts, injustices, and FIX THEM! And we must not be happy until everything is PERFECT! Our unhappiness shows that we care and motivates us to act. Not true, but such a pervasive attitude in our society, we buy into it.
We use "happy" as the carrot and "unhappy" as the stick. The big lie is that we cannot be happy until all the work is done, until we have everything we want. "Dessert", ic789 called it.
Also, unhappiness feels more socially connecting. If I'm unhappy, I need my friends to call and take care of me, and take me out to cheer me up. If I'm happy, they can ignore me, right? My step-father once said, "If you and your sister fell off a cliff, I'd catch her, because you'd be OK." Well fuck you very much. The message is that the weak (or drama queens) get help, but those who embrace their strength and focus on the positive get to go splat! Cuz what, we bounce? I haven't quite worked that one out yet; how to be happy and connected in a culture that is unhappiness-affirming.
Being negative about your negativity does draw it to you. Think of your feelings as messages from your unconscious or "child-mind". If you ignore a child, it gets louder and more obnoxious. Listen to it. Nurture and protect it. Be gentle with yourself.
A panic attack is a strong message that something needs to change. So change something - anything! Go for a walk, take a shower, change your shirt! Have a dialogue with that non-verbal voice while you're moving. It's easier for your feelings to change while your environment is changing than while you stay in one place. Think of your panic attack as a psychic friend who doesn't speak very clearly. (You know how oracles are.) Welcome her. Honor her. Make an active effort to understand, and take her advice even if you don't understand it fully. You have wisdom beyond what you consciously perceive, and you are worthy of protection.
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