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Dec 27, 2009 20:50

I don't like opening presents in front of people. It's the anticipation they have for a reaction from me that makes me dislike it, I think. I don't want to have to fake happiness if I don't feel it, but I make myself feel so terrible for feeling selfish because of that.. Something like that. that's why Christmas is not that great of a holiday for ( Read more... )

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icechu December 28 2009, 17:00:47 UTC
Okay. It is gonna sound really terrible of me, because this is just an assumption, and if I'm wrong, then this entire comment was pointless and I'll be embarrassed and I'm going to go burrow deeper into my death hole. But I've been reading back on your older entries (I DO NOT CARE IF THIS MAKES ME SOUND LIKE A STALKER! REALLY!) and I just realized...you seem like you're keeping a lot inside. There's so much going around me these days, I'm starting to think that I've been the one with the least problems all this time and the people in front of me are the ones who are really unappreciated.

It seems to me that you have to deal with a lot of things and carry them on your own. And as far as I've known, you've never complained about these sorts of things...but I wouldn't mind if you did. I know people who get shocked when their friends become more vulnerable, when they step out of the comfort zone, because then they think, "This isn't my friend. My friend would never cry, she'd never complain, she'd never say these types of things." But...I wouldn't. To me, I'd like to think that there's always a side of a person that they don't really let us see. I know it seems like I'm going nowhere with this, but all I want to say is...if you ever feel like talking, please let me know!

I'll always be one step behind you.

Kind of.

Maybe.

Well, I'll try to.

But I don't know if I'll keep falling behind.

In other words, happy early birthday. <3

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geometricity December 28 2009, 18:27:15 UTC
Thank you, so much, very much. I will keep that in mind. Every time I complain, though, I feel terrible, because my life great compared to many, and I feel like I don't deserve to complain about it.

On another note, I thought I would let you know that you are beyond your years by many. Most have not realized what you always knew.

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icechu December 30 2009, 18:09:50 UTC
I know that feeling! I know it all too well. And I'm not too sure what to say exactly...because I'm still feeling that way as well, but... I think you deserve to say what you want to, too! Compared to how you were when we first met, you seem like you've grown up a lot. I mean, you were still really mature back then, but you seem a lot more reserved now. That's not a bad thing necessarily! But it's hard to see what you're keeping inside. And I'm sorry if you wanted to keep certain things inside, I just want to let you know that I'll be here to talk. :'D

And thank you so much! You're really too sweet to me. Not to mention that I could say the same thing for you!

What I've always known...hmm. That last sentence has been ringing inside my head for days. See what I mean when I say you're amazing?! I'm not too sure if I understand the depth of your words. I'd like to ask you to explain it to me, but would it be better for me to learn myself?? I don't know. But thank you anyways! Thank you, thank you, thank you.

In other words, white walls sound really nice. You should go for it. ♥

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geometricity December 30 2009, 18:15:33 UTC
By "beyond your years by many", I mean that you are, mentally, much older than your physical age. You know and deal with feelings people your age haven't and cannot deal with yet, because their comprehension level does not allow it. Your level of comprehension is far higher than others around you, it seems (to me) and maybe that is why you are feeling a little out of place in your school. that's my idea, anyway.

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