The Good, the Bad, and the Better...
Home again, finally.
The Pennsylvania New Year's trip was a lot of fun - except for a little fifth-wheel syndrome on Friday, which was mostly my fault I think. I met Kim in Harrisburg on Thursday evening, after some wretched traffic on I-81 S. We got coffee, Mmmmm coffee, and went to David's Bridal where I picked my bridesmaid dress! Yay! Style 8004, in the color apple. Look, this is it! I think I will look better than the model b/c I have hips and my tits won't look pointy. Ha.
On Friday, did some various shopping, bought more liquor b/c there can never be enough, and went with Kim and her fiancée (John) to Parke's girlfriend's house. It was good to see him again (a good friend from college) and meet Michelle, since I guess they are in a pretty serious relationship. This was where the 5th-wheel thing occurred, which is sad for me b/c I wish I could have enjoyed their company more. Sigh. It's my fault it happened, I guess, b/c everyone else was having a good time. I just let a wave of loneliness grip me a little too tight.
Anywho, New Year's Eve came and was great. There was a PSU Geosci reunion at Kim's house, and I had tons of fun; I didn't puke my guts out, which is always a plus, had a couple clove cigarettes, which taste better than Camel or Marlboro, had some champagne, played lots of scattergories (weee!), got a phone call after midnight (first time that's ever happened), played with Kim's cat a lot (kitty kitty kitty kitty).
The morning of New Year's Day was slow, which was nice. We sat around and talked, and ate some yummy food from Kim's recipe book. I left that afternoon and - long story, short - ended up visiting my friend Rich in Scranton for the night. I can't believe what a difference it has made in my attitude today. I got home and actually cleaned my apartment, something I have not had the motivation to do in over a month. Goes to show (me) how much I miss prolonged human contact. I mean, christ, all we did was cuddle in front of the tv for a few hours and grab something to eat; and I just feel better. Not great, but mentally healthier. The tragic thing is I can feel that fading already. But the real downfall of the night was when I caught him in a lie about a text message he received that night. I guess we talked it out. I, in part, relayed this important fact to him: I have an extremely hard time trusting people, and trivial lies like that do not make it easier for me. Even before Drew completely betrayed me and destroyed my sense of compassion and closeness to people - even before that, I didn't much trust or open up to other people. But b/c of things like this I feel justified in my suspicions of every thing I am told that does not quite jive with my logic and intuition. And this is a bad thing. I don't want to feel I have justification in a feeling like that. Aside from that, and an absolute horrid dream I had while there, I am really glad I stopped there and got to see him.
And aside from the couple of things that made me sad, there were plenty more happy things. I really cherish the time spent with everyone I saw this holiday (mushy gooshy, I know), but I'm glad we all got together and had fun.