(no subject)
Well I just got off of an hour and a half long convo with Laurie, mainly because I told her how I was feeling, and she was cool with that. First of all up yours Scott cause I was right and you were wrong on this occasion. Being truthful helped my situation. Second of all I'm glad that I got to talk to Laurie because I settled a lot of confusion about why and how our relationship ended (which by the way was more than 2 years ago and still bothered me), and it showed me how I grew, and that I used to be (and can still be) quite a smotherer. I'm not much of one any more thanks to my good buddy Scott for helping me out with that problem. But I sure as hell smothered Laurie, and I'm sorry I did. I actually cried a bit on the phone, she doesn't know this because Im awesome at concealing my emotions, but yeah, I cried not because I couldn't have her, Im over that, I cried because of the shit I put her through back then, GOD DAMMIT Im crying now! I was an ASSSSHOLE. WOW. I didn't understand what I was doing at the time because I was an immature little bastard, but boy do I now. At least it's good to know that I've grown since then, and that she's a good enough friend to look past all of that. Anyway, not to jealous anymore, I'm feeling good, I knew it wouldn't last for long. Im ready for whatever life wants to throw my way. I also think that Joe, Laurie's current boyfriend is a much more suitable guy for her than me, mind you I didn't say better, but more suitable. So I am now done playing my childish game of jealousy. OHHHHHHH BOYYYY! fun stuff.
Anyway, Scott I still would have been mad at you you silly boy, for my own selfish reasons that I thought you were going to ruin the friendships between the three of us, allbeit I was dead wrong, I would have still been mad. And yes, I totally see where you are coming from now, although you pretty much had told most of that too me already and I was still pissed as hell at you. On a lighter note, I was talking to Laurie when you beeped in 20,000 times. If you ever fucking bother me like you did when I'm having a conversation with somebody, I will hop in my truck and drive back to Decatur and cut off your balls. thank-you.
So Texas is still good though, a little drama here and there, but I am a master of that now. Still miss Scott and Stacey terribly and can't wait to get back! Absence makes the heart grow fonder. I love you guys. And yes, Stacey, I still think you are one of the coollest girls I know, I don't throw that word around lightly,.......cool............I wonder what dumb fuck decided that "cool" needed another meaning
Oh and I would like to make one correction to what I wrote last night. There is a difference betweem being open, and feeling sorry for yourself, I did a little of both last night. Sorry guys.
Everybody have a good day tomorrow,
Later