long time
well everyone i thought id drop a few lines. um a few weeks ago i was rused to the er and put on lifw support for a few days, i have heart failure and will need surgury as soon as possible, yes i'm scared. Scared of dying, scared of living, i mean will i ever really be ok? and if i dont live what will i miss? would the love of my life ever had realized he married the wrong girl, would i have had babies, would i get to see my sister graduate and then become a pediatric surgan, mother, or wife? i am even more scared because i dont know what will happen, what i belive in. im scared that i wont get to have the chance to maybe someday realize that he wasnt the love of my life and meet the one that is supposed to be, that my only dream in life, to become a mother will never be realized, and im scared that if i die he wont care, and my life would have been waisted loving someone who didnt even care i was dead.