[NSFW] RP LOG with cutandlearn | Wake up call
Overall, Chris' trip to Lake Wimico was an abysmal failure. An eighteen hour round trip, and he had been in his home town, stood on the edge of that lake all of twenty minutes before he got back into Rick's car and drove home. He still couldn't really explain why he did it, and it was hurting his head to even try now. He had probably cried more in the last twenty four hours than he had in his whole life. At least, that's what it felt like. All he knew was that as soon as he was home, it didn't feel like home again. Being in the place he had a few fond memories with Rick of wasn't giving him the answers he needed. All it did was make him miss Miami... and miss Serena.
The nine hour drive back to Miami was exhausting, but he was never more relieved than when he hit the freeway into the city and the sun was just coming up over the horizon and lighting the buildings. He had the music blasting again to keep him awake and he was onto his fourth Red Bull, but it wasn't doing anything. He was just thinking about his bed and about Serena. He was thinking about Rick too, but it just came with more piles of confusion and sadness. It was impossible to wade through it all. He unlocked the apartment door quietly, knowing Serena would be asleep. Taking a few moments, he just stood inside his door and took in the sight of his apartment. This was his home now, not that place that contained all the bad memories of his childhood. A quick stop to the bathroom first, because there was no way he was going to get to sleep with that much soda in his bladder, and then he kicked his shoes off in the living room and drew all the blinds closed, making the place dark like he would if he was about to hit the sack after a nightshift. He had been up all night, so it was enough like a nightshift for him.
Serena was asleep on her back in the bed, Chris' pillow tucked up beside her, and her cell phone within easy reach on the nightstand. Even just for a little while, Chris wanted to shove all the stuff with Rick to the back of his mind and not think about it. He needed time with Serena; there had been very little of it lately. He pulled his jeans, socks and boxers off, dumping them in a pile on the floor, but didn't even bother to stop and get rid of his t-shirt. He tugged the covers back, finding Serena also in one of his t-shirts and a little pair of pink panties that never failed to drive him wild. Still, they could drive him wild another time, and he crawled into the bed, kneeling over her and pulled the covers up over his back. He started to kiss her softly and slowly pulled her panties down over her hips and thighs as he settled beside her. When she started to wake up, he smiled tiredly at her. "Hey..." he greeted her in a whisper and started to kiss her a little more deeply, getting the panties down to her knees and completely off. She was still half asleep, but he needed to feel her, and to be with her. It's what he needed above all else. He knew he didn't need to wait for her go ahead, they just had a rhythm between them now, and he gently nudged her legs apart so he could settle between them. He could feel that the kiss must've been enough to arouse her, it was already turning him on, and even the thought she might have been dreaming about them together had his erection twitching eagerly. Catching her lower lip between his with a soft sigh, he entered her slowly, his hand cupping her hip to pull her up against him.
A part of Serena was expecting her phone alarm to go off by now, to break the nice, sleepy rhythm that she and Chris had. To interrupted the delicious feel of him against her even if he still seemed a little cold to touch after she'd been all cosy warm in bed. But that was okay, the more they touched each other, the more they moved together and Chris got lost inside him - the warmer he'd become. Serena let out a tiny moan as he pushed deep inside her, her eyes opening a little to meet his as she gave him a sleepy smile and cupped his face with her hands. "Welcome home," she murmured. Relief flooded through her as she realised no alarm would be going off and Chris really was home and making with the very nice wake up call. She pulled him into a kiss, her knee pinning his hip as she moved so he fit better between her legs. She had been dreaming about him, but it had been lake sex. For some reason she had thought that debauching his childhood lake was a good fantasy, but then they always did seem to have a thing for wet sex. But this kind of sex was nice too. She nuzzled in against his neck when she pulled him closer against her as her hand pulled up the back of his t-shirt so she could run her palm over his back.
It felt like a long time since they had sex, even if it was just a few days. She had been at work on all over the place shifts, and Chris had been hanging around the hospital like a bad smell for news on Rick. Even before that, things had been all over the place. Getting time together to just be had been hard, while Chris, on the other hand, had not been, finding it difficult to feel very sexy when he was trying to nurse his brother through his first round of chemo. But she didn't have to rush off to work now, and Rick was in good hands. There was still a tough decision looming over Chris, but he couldn't think about that right now. He wanted to lose himself in her for a little while, and forget the rest of the world existed. He had already turned his cell phone off and with a brief, fleeting thought, he broke the kiss just long enough to reach other and turn Serena's off too before pushing it to the back of the table. He found a smooth rhythm, rocking his hips against hers and letting out a rough and breathy sigh at how amazing she felt. So warm and soft, he just couldn't get enough. With another smile down at her, he started to kiss her again, one elbow braced on the mattress to give him leverage to take her deeply on every stroke. It freed his other hand and he tucked it underneath her to softly squeeze her ass, letting his fingers explore over the smooth curve of it. He wanted to try so much with her, and even though they had been far from shy in bed with each other, he still wanted more. He wanted the whole package.
Serena was still in a haze from being woken from her deep sleep, but she was becoming more and more aware of Chris and just Chris. She didn't even think about work, or her brother, or his brother. She was selfish enough to glad that they finally just had a little time to themselves and grateful that he could even want to be with her while everything was going on. It was times like these there was maybe a little regret that she was a trauma doc that had to work insane hours. She arched her back as a shudder of pleasure rolled through her and kissed and nipped lightly at his shoulder. Truth was she'd do anything with Chris, or for Chris. She was a lost cause when it came to Dr C and she couldn't even find the energy to be apologetic for it. She was happy. He made her happy. She met his lips in the kiss and another moan got lost in his mouth as their tongues slowly pulsed against each other, neither of them in a rush. Her fingers pushed up into his hair as she gave it a gentle tug while her other hand rubbed against his ass. "Chris..."
The sheets were a mess around them, and Chris remembered when they had talked about silk sheets after he admitted to her that he always wanted to have sex in them. It was one of many things they had talked about, getting to know each other beyond work and beyond him being her Chief Resident and mentor on the job. He knew once their relationship was common knowledge, it would be free-for-all and more than a shock, but it went so far beyond them just being Dr C and Dr Warren. He knew Proctor had told them to go away and think about it and think about his priorities, but the more Chris thought about it, the more he just knew this was right. This right here was what he wanted. He didn't need it on tap, he didn't need to be all over her while they were on the job, they could remain professional and independent of each other. But he wanted to know he could have this when they wanted and needed it, just a little piece of their own world together. Everything else would just roll with it. He probably hadn't gotten in this deep with a girl before. There had been dating and a couple of relationships, but this was different. This was serious, and he didn't want it to end just because everyone wanted to judge what they were doing. In comparison, this was probably average sex, no creative positions, no covert places, no interesting props. Just them, their messy sheets, even both still wearing t-shirts, and it really couldn't get much better than that. He lifted her leg to wrap about his hip, always loving the feeling of her completely wrapped around him, and he drove just a little bit deeper, resting his shoulder down beside hers so he nuzzle her cheek, kissing it softly and dipping his tongue out to tease small swirls over her skin before he found her lips in another tender kiss.
Serena couldn't help it when she started to smile against his lips, his facial hair always ticking her skin. She'd never minded the beard rash. With her fair skin it was always going to be inevitable, but she didn't want Chris to be clean-shaven. She liked his look, she liked the rough little tickle against her cheek and jaw. A ripple washed over her and she wasn't sure if she was going to start giggling or not, but the smile didn't vanish. Not until the kiss broke and their gazes met again, and Serena saw the look in Chris' eye. Things really were serious. They'd taken another step without her really realising it. There was no going back, no giving up and she would seriously harm anyone that tried to get between them now. For a moment she could picture a wedding day, and even them with a family but they weren't quite up to that particular step. Serena wanted a little while just to stop and enjoy the one they were on. The arousal was coiling tight in the pit of her stomach the more he moved inside her, and Serena was being pushed closer and closer to the edge as they continued. Her hair was splayed out over the pillow and she slipped her hand under his arm to hold onto him as she caught his mouth in another kiss, wanting to hold off until she was sure they'd go crashing over the edge together.
Chris just didn't want this to end. It seemed almost unfair that a guy didn't have much of a capacity to make sex last a lot longer. There always had to be the orgasm, and then a rest, and them another kick off. Not that there was anything wrong with that at all, except lately, he and Serena never got to the second kick off before pagers were going off or phone calls were coming in, or exhausted sleep was claiming them. It was just a lot of sensations all at once and although he was fighting to hold off just a little longer, he also had the urge to go a little harder and feel her coming undone beneath him. Keeping it slow could have had them going longer, but it had been too long since they last made love. He couldn't tell his dick to wait a little longer when it was more than ready to hit home base. The sheets were tangled around their legs and he had her t-shirt pushed right up so he could brush his fingers over her stomach and explore her breasts. They were perfect, and he always meant that when he said it to her. He would never get tired of them, touching them, feeling their soft curve under his lips when he kissed them. That was not the train of thought to find himself on when he was trying to hold off. Something tugged inside him and with a soft warning moan of her name, he exhaled roughly and buried his face in against her throat as the orgasm him and sent stars bursting in the edges of his vision.
Serena gripped at Chris' arm as she felt him come inside her, the sensation one that she was fast getting used to now that they'd agreed to forego condoms. She had no problem with it, never thought of it as messy. It was natural. She moaned his name against his ear as her own orgasm ripped through her and her inner muscles clamping down tightly around him as she pushed her foot against against the bed. She was capable of being a screamer when she wanted to be, but this wasn't about screaming. It was definitely about making love. She was panting now as she lay trapped under Chris and kissed at the side of his face as she smiled and let her eyes fall shut for a moment. "Mm..."
Chris relaxed down on top of her, resting his head on her shoulder as he wet his lips and tried to catch his breath. He tucked his arm possessively around her waist and kissed her collarbone. He could feel his t-shirt twisted around him, but he just didn't care. "S'nice..." he murmured. And it was. Really, really nice. He was glad he took a pee before coming to bed, though. It meant he didn't need to move anywhere fast. Something told him he should go back to the hospital to see Rick, but that was going to have to wait too. He was hiding here for awhile first. He slowly moved his hand up under her shirt, his thumb sweeping under the curve of her breast as he managed a cheeky smile against her shoulder. He had always had a habit of 'postplay', his attention span for sex meaning he was never quite done playing once the orgasm was over and Serena was used to it by now, often teasing him back with pinching his ass or playing with his balls to make him laugh.
She murmured her agreement again as she tried not to wriggle now that he was engaging in his trademark postplay. Her body was still sensitive to touch and she bit her lip to stop from moaning too loudly as she gave his own nipple a gentle twist and opened her eyes to smile at him. It really was nice, this one part of having a boyfriend she was particularly proud of. Not to mention a future benefit of living with Chris. She was happy to give him a distraction while he needed it. At least this way she felt like she could help. "Love you," she whispered.
Chris shifted his head so he could look up and meet her gaze. He gave her a lop-sided smile and wrapped his arm around her in another affectionate hug. "Love you, too," he told her and tucked his leg in between hers. He was pretty sure if he had the energy right now he would run out and kiss someone for the fact she had the day off. In fact, he lost track of the last time they had the day to themselves. He started to trace small circles around her bellybutton with his fingertip. "I can't do it," he finally whispered.
"I'm not surprised considering what we just--oh." Serena stopped immediately when she realised Chris wasn't talking about a second kick-off. She kissed the top of his head as she slid her arms around his shoulders and held him. "It's okay if you can't. I don't think any less of you. No one's going to think any less of you. Just means they'll be praying for another donor to come through."
Chris shook his head against her shoulder and gripped a handful of her shirt. "I just can't do it. Every way I try to think about it, I just hit a brick wall, and I can just see it all going wrong. I can't shake the horrible feeling that something is going to happen. Maybe I'm just scared, but it feels like more. I don't want to wake up and realise I can't ever work again or that I'm sick and my life is on the line. I can't put you through that. What if something happens on the table? I could crash, have a heart attack. I might not wake up. I just... I want to be happy. I've never been happy like this and I'm not ready to give that up. I want to help him, I want to save his life, but what if I lose mine?"
"Bella's pregnant." The words were out and hanging in the air before Serena could stop them. She'd been sitting on it for long enough, and if she couldn't tell Chris she really was going to explode. Not to mention the fact she hadn't even really allowed herself time to process it. How was she even supposed to start? The Oncologist was pregnant with Rick's baby. Rick, who might die if he didn't get a kidney. Rick, who might be waiting a long time if Chris didn't give him his. Serena didn't exactly want to sway him, but she also knew that Chris didn't have all the information. How could he when Bella didn't want to tell either Deleo?
Chris pulled back, getting tangled up in the sheets and fighting to get his way out of them. "What?!" he demaned with a frown and then hooked his fingers roughly into the edge of the sheet and tore it out from under his arm. "So, what the hell was Rick?! Just some sort of hormonal freaking stopover to satisfying her horny lust?! Fucking hell! She could have at least told him before she jumped into bed with him and used him like some giant vibrator! No wonder she's friggin hurling and crying all over the place! If she can't take care of him, she needs to get the hell fucking out!" He had no idea why all his anger felt the need to pour out aimed at Rick's oncologist, but Chris was ranting before he could stop himself. "I don't even know why you're telling me this! Why are you telling me this? It's not like I'm gonna send her a pink teddy bear and wish her all the best! She fucking used my brother! Do you think it will guilt him into not dying?" He abruptly stopped and put a hand over his mouth. He was never going to be able to say that without it catching in his throat.
Serena pulled herself up into a sitting position so she could grab Chris' hands and try and get him to still long enough for her to continue. "Hey, hey. Take a breath, okay? Do you think it was easy for me to even hear it? But it's not about Rick being a giant vibrator. It's about Rick being the baby's father... It's his. She's carrying Rick's baby." She raised her eyebrows as she waited to see if Chris was going to absorb the new information and pulled him back towards her so she could hug him. "I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry I even know, but she told me when she just burst into tears and I said some really insensitive crap to her about Rick. I haven't known what to make of it. I still don't know. I took it calmly because what the hell else was I supposed to do?"
Chris' whole posture slumped and he was too numb to really react. He didn't pull away, but he didn't reciprocate the hug, either. In fact, he just stared wide-eyed at the wall behind her for a long few moments, not saying a word. A strange chill was creeping down his back and he felt a little like he was going to pass out. It wasn't too disimilar from how he felt that day he got woozy at work from lack of sleep, only this time it came with a prickle over his skin like goosebumps. But he did soon pull back and pushed her away a little, shaking his head. "No, that's impossible. There is no goddamn way it's his! Neither of them would be that stupid to start with. It's gotta be some other dude's and she's just trying to... trying to be a giant freaking bitch!" He waved his hands and went to move off the bed to try and find his pants. "I don't need this. This is bullshit!"
"Chris, where are you going?" Serena could have slapped herself for the timing. After carrying around her and Chris' secret for so long apparently she'd lost her stamina and would spill at the first quiet moment. The sleepy sex had been so nice, and then the cuddling, and now this. She let out a sigh as she hugged her arms around her knees and just watched Chris. "I don't think she's making it up for the record. She's really torn up about it, and adamant that you shouldn't know, and neither should Rick. If she was doing it to be a bitch, she'd just say something to both of you. Maybe they weren't stupid, but something must have happened."
Chris found his pants and stood there holding them when he turned around. "I don't know where I'm going!" he admitted, still rather resonant. He realised how stupid he sounded, though, and probably looked, standing there in nothing but a t-shirt holding his pants.... which were actually her pants, and really weren't going to do him any good anyway. He shook his head and held up his hand. "No, she can't be goddamn having his baby. She can't. Getting pregnant when you don't want it is the epitome of stupidity and I don't care how many free choice supporters want to bitch me out for that! Or non-free choice supporters. I don't know! They all give me a damn headache! Doesn't anyone know how to use a condom anymore? How does... this is not..." He shook his head and went back again to look for his pants.
Serena frowned as her concern increased, and eventually she moved off the bed when she saw his pants lying near the chair in their room and picked them up to hand them over to Chris. She was still in just his t-shirt, the garment barely covering her modesty as it finished at the top of her thighs. She cupped the side of his face in her hand before tugging gently at his blond hair. "Everyone knows how to use a condom, baby. But they're not foolproof. They can break, or the pill might not work if she's been sick. Accidents happen. It's not always complete stupidity. We made a mistake too, and we were just lucky you could prescribe me a pill. Bella might not have realised anything was wrong, and now she's... pregnant. I'm not excusing it, I'm not saying it's okay. I'm just telling you what happened. I don't know what they're supposed to do. If Bella has her way Rick will never know."
"They shouldn't have even slept together!" Chris exploded, throwing his hands up. "There, I bloody said it! I hate that they slept together! I want to... I don't even know! I don't know anything anymore!" There was an increasing panic rising in him. He knew he really didn't hate the fact they had slept together, so he didn't know where that had come from, but if Bella was pregnant with Rick's baby, suddenly everything felt skewed and off-centre, and it was leaving Chris feeling again like he was standing at the edge of a cliff about to jump with no harness. Rick was going to be father. An actual father, to a baby. Only, he could be dying. If he didn't get a kidney, he would die. The colour drained from Chris' face and he turned away to start tugging the pants on. "I need some air."
Word Count | 4,261
The nine hour drive back to Miami was exhausting, but he was never more relieved than when he hit the freeway into the city and the sun was just coming up over the horizon and lighting the buildings. He had the music blasting again to keep him awake and he was onto his fourth Red Bull, but it wasn't doing anything. He was just thinking about his bed and about Serena. He was thinking about Rick too, but it just came with more piles of confusion and sadness. It was impossible to wade through it all. He unlocked the apartment door quietly, knowing Serena would be asleep. Taking a few moments, he just stood inside his door and took in the sight of his apartment. This was his home now, not that place that contained all the bad memories of his childhood. A quick stop to the bathroom first, because there was no way he was going to get to sleep with that much soda in his bladder, and then he kicked his shoes off in the living room and drew all the blinds closed, making the place dark like he would if he was about to hit the sack after a nightshift. He had been up all night, so it was enough like a nightshift for him.
Serena was asleep on her back in the bed, Chris' pillow tucked up beside her, and her cell phone within easy reach on the nightstand. Even just for a little while, Chris wanted to shove all the stuff with Rick to the back of his mind and not think about it. He needed time with Serena; there had been very little of it lately. He pulled his jeans, socks and boxers off, dumping them in a pile on the floor, but didn't even bother to stop and get rid of his t-shirt. He tugged the covers back, finding Serena also in one of his t-shirts and a little pair of pink panties that never failed to drive him wild. Still, they could drive him wild another time, and he crawled into the bed, kneeling over her and pulled the covers up over his back. He started to kiss her softly and slowly pulled her panties down over her hips and thighs as he settled beside her. When she started to wake up, he smiled tiredly at her. "Hey..." he greeted her in a whisper and started to kiss her a little more deeply, getting the panties down to her knees and completely off. She was still half asleep, but he needed to feel her, and to be with her. It's what he needed above all else. He knew he didn't need to wait for her go ahead, they just had a rhythm between them now, and he gently nudged her legs apart so he could settle between them. He could feel that the kiss must've been enough to arouse her, it was already turning him on, and even the thought she might have been dreaming about them together had his erection twitching eagerly. Catching her lower lip between his with a soft sigh, he entered her slowly, his hand cupping her hip to pull her up against him.
A part of Serena was expecting her phone alarm to go off by now, to break the nice, sleepy rhythm that she and Chris had. To interrupted the delicious feel of him against her even if he still seemed a little cold to touch after she'd been all cosy warm in bed. But that was okay, the more they touched each other, the more they moved together and Chris got lost inside him - the warmer he'd become. Serena let out a tiny moan as he pushed deep inside her, her eyes opening a little to meet his as she gave him a sleepy smile and cupped his face with her hands. "Welcome home," she murmured. Relief flooded through her as she realised no alarm would be going off and Chris really was home and making with the very nice wake up call. She pulled him into a kiss, her knee pinning his hip as she moved so he fit better between her legs. She had been dreaming about him, but it had been lake sex. For some reason she had thought that debauching his childhood lake was a good fantasy, but then they always did seem to have a thing for wet sex. But this kind of sex was nice too. She nuzzled in against his neck when she pulled him closer against her as her hand pulled up the back of his t-shirt so she could run her palm over his back.
It felt like a long time since they had sex, even if it was just a few days. She had been at work on all over the place shifts, and Chris had been hanging around the hospital like a bad smell for news on Rick. Even before that, things had been all over the place. Getting time together to just be had been hard, while Chris, on the other hand, had not been, finding it difficult to feel very sexy when he was trying to nurse his brother through his first round of chemo. But she didn't have to rush off to work now, and Rick was in good hands. There was still a tough decision looming over Chris, but he couldn't think about that right now. He wanted to lose himself in her for a little while, and forget the rest of the world existed. He had already turned his cell phone off and with a brief, fleeting thought, he broke the kiss just long enough to reach other and turn Serena's off too before pushing it to the back of the table. He found a smooth rhythm, rocking his hips against hers and letting out a rough and breathy sigh at how amazing she felt. So warm and soft, he just couldn't get enough. With another smile down at her, he started to kiss her again, one elbow braced on the mattress to give him leverage to take her deeply on every stroke. It freed his other hand and he tucked it underneath her to softly squeeze her ass, letting his fingers explore over the smooth curve of it. He wanted to try so much with her, and even though they had been far from shy in bed with each other, he still wanted more. He wanted the whole package.
Serena was still in a haze from being woken from her deep sleep, but she was becoming more and more aware of Chris and just Chris. She didn't even think about work, or her brother, or his brother. She was selfish enough to glad that they finally just had a little time to themselves and grateful that he could even want to be with her while everything was going on. It was times like these there was maybe a little regret that she was a trauma doc that had to work insane hours. She arched her back as a shudder of pleasure rolled through her and kissed and nipped lightly at his shoulder. Truth was she'd do anything with Chris, or for Chris. She was a lost cause when it came to Dr C and she couldn't even find the energy to be apologetic for it. She was happy. He made her happy. She met his lips in the kiss and another moan got lost in his mouth as their tongues slowly pulsed against each other, neither of them in a rush. Her fingers pushed up into his hair as she gave it a gentle tug while her other hand rubbed against his ass. "Chris..."
The sheets were a mess around them, and Chris remembered when they had talked about silk sheets after he admitted to her that he always wanted to have sex in them. It was one of many things they had talked about, getting to know each other beyond work and beyond him being her Chief Resident and mentor on the job. He knew once their relationship was common knowledge, it would be free-for-all and more than a shock, but it went so far beyond them just being Dr C and Dr Warren. He knew Proctor had told them to go away and think about it and think about his priorities, but the more Chris thought about it, the more he just knew this was right. This right here was what he wanted. He didn't need it on tap, he didn't need to be all over her while they were on the job, they could remain professional and independent of each other. But he wanted to know he could have this when they wanted and needed it, just a little piece of their own world together. Everything else would just roll with it. He probably hadn't gotten in this deep with a girl before. There had been dating and a couple of relationships, but this was different. This was serious, and he didn't want it to end just because everyone wanted to judge what they were doing. In comparison, this was probably average sex, no creative positions, no covert places, no interesting props. Just them, their messy sheets, even both still wearing t-shirts, and it really couldn't get much better than that. He lifted her leg to wrap about his hip, always loving the feeling of her completely wrapped around him, and he drove just a little bit deeper, resting his shoulder down beside hers so he nuzzle her cheek, kissing it softly and dipping his tongue out to tease small swirls over her skin before he found her lips in another tender kiss.
Serena couldn't help it when she started to smile against his lips, his facial hair always ticking her skin. She'd never minded the beard rash. With her fair skin it was always going to be inevitable, but she didn't want Chris to be clean-shaven. She liked his look, she liked the rough little tickle against her cheek and jaw. A ripple washed over her and she wasn't sure if she was going to start giggling or not, but the smile didn't vanish. Not until the kiss broke and their gazes met again, and Serena saw the look in Chris' eye. Things really were serious. They'd taken another step without her really realising it. There was no going back, no giving up and she would seriously harm anyone that tried to get between them now. For a moment she could picture a wedding day, and even them with a family but they weren't quite up to that particular step. Serena wanted a little while just to stop and enjoy the one they were on. The arousal was coiling tight in the pit of her stomach the more he moved inside her, and Serena was being pushed closer and closer to the edge as they continued. Her hair was splayed out over the pillow and she slipped her hand under his arm to hold onto him as she caught his mouth in another kiss, wanting to hold off until she was sure they'd go crashing over the edge together.
Chris just didn't want this to end. It seemed almost unfair that a guy didn't have much of a capacity to make sex last a lot longer. There always had to be the orgasm, and then a rest, and them another kick off. Not that there was anything wrong with that at all, except lately, he and Serena never got to the second kick off before pagers were going off or phone calls were coming in, or exhausted sleep was claiming them. It was just a lot of sensations all at once and although he was fighting to hold off just a little longer, he also had the urge to go a little harder and feel her coming undone beneath him. Keeping it slow could have had them going longer, but it had been too long since they last made love. He couldn't tell his dick to wait a little longer when it was more than ready to hit home base. The sheets were tangled around their legs and he had her t-shirt pushed right up so he could brush his fingers over her stomach and explore her breasts. They were perfect, and he always meant that when he said it to her. He would never get tired of them, touching them, feeling their soft curve under his lips when he kissed them. That was not the train of thought to find himself on when he was trying to hold off. Something tugged inside him and with a soft warning moan of her name, he exhaled roughly and buried his face in against her throat as the orgasm him and sent stars bursting in the edges of his vision.
Serena gripped at Chris' arm as she felt him come inside her, the sensation one that she was fast getting used to now that they'd agreed to forego condoms. She had no problem with it, never thought of it as messy. It was natural. She moaned his name against his ear as her own orgasm ripped through her and her inner muscles clamping down tightly around him as she pushed her foot against against the bed. She was capable of being a screamer when she wanted to be, but this wasn't about screaming. It was definitely about making love. She was panting now as she lay trapped under Chris and kissed at the side of his face as she smiled and let her eyes fall shut for a moment. "Mm..."
Chris relaxed down on top of her, resting his head on her shoulder as he wet his lips and tried to catch his breath. He tucked his arm possessively around her waist and kissed her collarbone. He could feel his t-shirt twisted around him, but he just didn't care. "S'nice..." he murmured. And it was. Really, really nice. He was glad he took a pee before coming to bed, though. It meant he didn't need to move anywhere fast. Something told him he should go back to the hospital to see Rick, but that was going to have to wait too. He was hiding here for awhile first. He slowly moved his hand up under her shirt, his thumb sweeping under the curve of her breast as he managed a cheeky smile against her shoulder. He had always had a habit of 'postplay', his attention span for sex meaning he was never quite done playing once the orgasm was over and Serena was used to it by now, often teasing him back with pinching his ass or playing with his balls to make him laugh.
She murmured her agreement again as she tried not to wriggle now that he was engaging in his trademark postplay. Her body was still sensitive to touch and she bit her lip to stop from moaning too loudly as she gave his own nipple a gentle twist and opened her eyes to smile at him. It really was nice, this one part of having a boyfriend she was particularly proud of. Not to mention a future benefit of living with Chris. She was happy to give him a distraction while he needed it. At least this way she felt like she could help. "Love you," she whispered.
Chris shifted his head so he could look up and meet her gaze. He gave her a lop-sided smile and wrapped his arm around her in another affectionate hug. "Love you, too," he told her and tucked his leg in between hers. He was pretty sure if he had the energy right now he would run out and kiss someone for the fact she had the day off. In fact, he lost track of the last time they had the day to themselves. He started to trace small circles around her bellybutton with his fingertip. "I can't do it," he finally whispered.
"I'm not surprised considering what we just--oh." Serena stopped immediately when she realised Chris wasn't talking about a second kick-off. She kissed the top of his head as she slid her arms around his shoulders and held him. "It's okay if you can't. I don't think any less of you. No one's going to think any less of you. Just means they'll be praying for another donor to come through."
Chris shook his head against her shoulder and gripped a handful of her shirt. "I just can't do it. Every way I try to think about it, I just hit a brick wall, and I can just see it all going wrong. I can't shake the horrible feeling that something is going to happen. Maybe I'm just scared, but it feels like more. I don't want to wake up and realise I can't ever work again or that I'm sick and my life is on the line. I can't put you through that. What if something happens on the table? I could crash, have a heart attack. I might not wake up. I just... I want to be happy. I've never been happy like this and I'm not ready to give that up. I want to help him, I want to save his life, but what if I lose mine?"
"Bella's pregnant." The words were out and hanging in the air before Serena could stop them. She'd been sitting on it for long enough, and if she couldn't tell Chris she really was going to explode. Not to mention the fact she hadn't even really allowed herself time to process it. How was she even supposed to start? The Oncologist was pregnant with Rick's baby. Rick, who might die if he didn't get a kidney. Rick, who might be waiting a long time if Chris didn't give him his. Serena didn't exactly want to sway him, but she also knew that Chris didn't have all the information. How could he when Bella didn't want to tell either Deleo?
Chris pulled back, getting tangled up in the sheets and fighting to get his way out of them. "What?!" he demaned with a frown and then hooked his fingers roughly into the edge of the sheet and tore it out from under his arm. "So, what the hell was Rick?! Just some sort of hormonal freaking stopover to satisfying her horny lust?! Fucking hell! She could have at least told him before she jumped into bed with him and used him like some giant vibrator! No wonder she's friggin hurling and crying all over the place! If she can't take care of him, she needs to get the hell fucking out!" He had no idea why all his anger felt the need to pour out aimed at Rick's oncologist, but Chris was ranting before he could stop himself. "I don't even know why you're telling me this! Why are you telling me this? It's not like I'm gonna send her a pink teddy bear and wish her all the best! She fucking used my brother! Do you think it will guilt him into not dying?" He abruptly stopped and put a hand over his mouth. He was never going to be able to say that without it catching in his throat.
Serena pulled herself up into a sitting position so she could grab Chris' hands and try and get him to still long enough for her to continue. "Hey, hey. Take a breath, okay? Do you think it was easy for me to even hear it? But it's not about Rick being a giant vibrator. It's about Rick being the baby's father... It's his. She's carrying Rick's baby." She raised her eyebrows as she waited to see if Chris was going to absorb the new information and pulled him back towards her so she could hug him. "I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry I even know, but she told me when she just burst into tears and I said some really insensitive crap to her about Rick. I haven't known what to make of it. I still don't know. I took it calmly because what the hell else was I supposed to do?"
Chris' whole posture slumped and he was too numb to really react. He didn't pull away, but he didn't reciprocate the hug, either. In fact, he just stared wide-eyed at the wall behind her for a long few moments, not saying a word. A strange chill was creeping down his back and he felt a little like he was going to pass out. It wasn't too disimilar from how he felt that day he got woozy at work from lack of sleep, only this time it came with a prickle over his skin like goosebumps. But he did soon pull back and pushed her away a little, shaking his head. "No, that's impossible. There is no goddamn way it's his! Neither of them would be that stupid to start with. It's gotta be some other dude's and she's just trying to... trying to be a giant freaking bitch!" He waved his hands and went to move off the bed to try and find his pants. "I don't need this. This is bullshit!"
"Chris, where are you going?" Serena could have slapped herself for the timing. After carrying around her and Chris' secret for so long apparently she'd lost her stamina and would spill at the first quiet moment. The sleepy sex had been so nice, and then the cuddling, and now this. She let out a sigh as she hugged her arms around her knees and just watched Chris. "I don't think she's making it up for the record. She's really torn up about it, and adamant that you shouldn't know, and neither should Rick. If she was doing it to be a bitch, she'd just say something to both of you. Maybe they weren't stupid, but something must have happened."
Chris found his pants and stood there holding them when he turned around. "I don't know where I'm going!" he admitted, still rather resonant. He realised how stupid he sounded, though, and probably looked, standing there in nothing but a t-shirt holding his pants.... which were actually her pants, and really weren't going to do him any good anyway. He shook his head and held up his hand. "No, she can't be goddamn having his baby. She can't. Getting pregnant when you don't want it is the epitome of stupidity and I don't care how many free choice supporters want to bitch me out for that! Or non-free choice supporters. I don't know! They all give me a damn headache! Doesn't anyone know how to use a condom anymore? How does... this is not..." He shook his head and went back again to look for his pants.
Serena frowned as her concern increased, and eventually she moved off the bed when she saw his pants lying near the chair in their room and picked them up to hand them over to Chris. She was still in just his t-shirt, the garment barely covering her modesty as it finished at the top of her thighs. She cupped the side of his face in her hand before tugging gently at his blond hair. "Everyone knows how to use a condom, baby. But they're not foolproof. They can break, or the pill might not work if she's been sick. Accidents happen. It's not always complete stupidity. We made a mistake too, and we were just lucky you could prescribe me a pill. Bella might not have realised anything was wrong, and now she's... pregnant. I'm not excusing it, I'm not saying it's okay. I'm just telling you what happened. I don't know what they're supposed to do. If Bella has her way Rick will never know."
"They shouldn't have even slept together!" Chris exploded, throwing his hands up. "There, I bloody said it! I hate that they slept together! I want to... I don't even know! I don't know anything anymore!" There was an increasing panic rising in him. He knew he really didn't hate the fact they had slept together, so he didn't know where that had come from, but if Bella was pregnant with Rick's baby, suddenly everything felt skewed and off-centre, and it was leaving Chris feeling again like he was standing at the edge of a cliff about to jump with no harness. Rick was going to be father. An actual father, to a baby. Only, he could be dying. If he didn't get a kidney, he would die. The colour drained from Chris' face and he turned away to start tugging the pants on. "I need some air."
Word Count | 4,261