strange confluence of events
So, strangely, I had some time left over at the end of my day today at work. I've been working 55+ a week for the last month, and things are finally starting to slow down. I started doing random google searches on people that I know, and came up with this new tidbit:
old girlfriend's myspace
And strangely enough, I'm feeling introspective today - which is unusual for me. I used to be very introspective - almost to a fault - but since I've been working, and since the kids have come along, it's a luxury I rarely take any more. I've been approaching life on such a surface level for so long that I've almost forgotten how to look inside.
See, this person and I go back to high school. We had a spark back then but it just never ignited - we were with very much different crowds. I was jock/brain/outcast and she was party/dance/drink. We were supposed to go to prom together but her stepdad pulled the plug at the last minute.
She appeared and disappeared from my life several times over the next five years, largely because of her association with apostate_69. They grew up across the street from each other and kept in touch. When I moved back to ELP in '93 we started dating, and I moved in with her in early '94. She had two kids - by two different guys - by then, a failed marriage and a recovered coke habit behind her.
Our lifestyles weren't compatible. I worked a day job as a computer programmer; she was a waitress/bartender at night because that's when the money was better. She was constantly smoking pot, and had been for many years, while I never touched the stuff. I moved out about four months after I moved in; she had cheated on me twice before and I caught her at it again. We kind of got back together a few months later but it didn't last, and I moved to PHX a few months later.
It's strange to think how needy I was back then; these days I can't imagine myself ever tolerating that kind of crap. I think my spine and my integrity took about an 18 month vacation from 93-95 or so. I'm not sure why I was so broken. I think the transition from college to 'professional' life was more traumatic than I realized.
I remember trying to treat her as an equal but we just weren't on the same intellectual plane. When she crawled out of the bottle and put down the bong she was actually quite sharp, but undisciplined. I was prepared to support her and her two kids while she went to UTEP and got a degree in something so she wouldn't have to wait tables forever. You'd think there would be women in this world who would jump at such an opportunity, but she wouldn't have any of it - she wanted to be what she wanted to be, not what (she thought) I wanted her to be. Passing that up was incomprehensible to me.
I see on her myspace that she has two grandkids. She's the same age as me and apostate_69 - 39 - and she has two grandkids. Clearly her daughter got knocked up the same way she did. I had always wondered how her kids were going to turn out. I'm happy that she got a job in computer repair, but I can't help wondering what she's been doing all these years.
old girlfriend's myspace
And strangely enough, I'm feeling introspective today - which is unusual for me. I used to be very introspective - almost to a fault - but since I've been working, and since the kids have come along, it's a luxury I rarely take any more. I've been approaching life on such a surface level for so long that I've almost forgotten how to look inside.
See, this person and I go back to high school. We had a spark back then but it just never ignited - we were with very much different crowds. I was jock/brain/outcast and she was party/dance/drink. We were supposed to go to prom together but her stepdad pulled the plug at the last minute.
She appeared and disappeared from my life several times over the next five years, largely because of her association with apostate_69. They grew up across the street from each other and kept in touch. When I moved back to ELP in '93 we started dating, and I moved in with her in early '94. She had two kids - by two different guys - by then, a failed marriage and a recovered coke habit behind her.
Our lifestyles weren't compatible. I worked a day job as a computer programmer; she was a waitress/bartender at night because that's when the money was better. She was constantly smoking pot, and had been for many years, while I never touched the stuff. I moved out about four months after I moved in; she had cheated on me twice before and I caught her at it again. We kind of got back together a few months later but it didn't last, and I moved to PHX a few months later.
It's strange to think how needy I was back then; these days I can't imagine myself ever tolerating that kind of crap. I think my spine and my integrity took about an 18 month vacation from 93-95 or so. I'm not sure why I was so broken. I think the transition from college to 'professional' life was more traumatic than I realized.
I remember trying to treat her as an equal but we just weren't on the same intellectual plane. When she crawled out of the bottle and put down the bong she was actually quite sharp, but undisciplined. I was prepared to support her and her two kids while she went to UTEP and got a degree in something so she wouldn't have to wait tables forever. You'd think there would be women in this world who would jump at such an opportunity, but she wouldn't have any of it - she wanted to be what she wanted to be, not what (she thought) I wanted her to be. Passing that up was incomprehensible to me.
I see on her myspace that she has two grandkids. She's the same age as me and apostate_69 - 39 - and she has two grandkids. Clearly her daughter got knocked up the same way she did. I had always wondered how her kids were going to turn out. I'm happy that she got a job in computer repair, but I can't help wondering what she's been doing all these years.