The question is...do you WANT people to look out for you.
You have such high ideals and expectations of real friendship...which is wonderful...but I can't help but wonder if any degree to which people could look out for you would be enough. It's a little confusing how you "don't trust" people, and yet you are wondering if they look out for you. Do you want people who you don't trust looking out for you? And would it ever be enough? It's a scary thing letting people down. And for some...that might mean not trying...because the hardest thing ever is disappointing the people you love...
All that aside, I know its not worth much, but I'm positive people value you for more than what you DO. It's just that when our friends hang out it seems people always NEED to be DOING something, rather than just enjoying each others company...which occasionally makes one wonder if one's company is enjoyed at all.
Honestly, I think some of the funnest times I've had with you are when you'd come by my room in CV on occasion before anime, or when we'd chill while the boys played magic, and we'd kinda chat about simple stuff, and sometimes you'd knit and I'd crochet and it'd be neat. Point is, it's the person you are that makes me like you, not what you do for me. In fact, I'd almost you rather didn't do things for people so that 1) there'd be an opportunity to do things for you and 2) you just wouldn't have that "responsibility" on your shoulders, or that "expectation" to live up to. People know you're not one to say no to much of anything...which is a blessing, but can make one very vulnerable to be taken advantage of...and I can definitely see how your insecurity comes into play in that sense.
However, just know at least one person doesn't think like that (probably two, because Teresa probably agrees with me...and even more probably many others).
You have such high ideals and expectations of real friendship...which is wonderful...but I can't help but wonder if any degree to which people could look out for you would be enough. It's a little confusing how you "don't trust" people, and yet you are wondering if they look out for you. Do you want people who you don't trust looking out for you? And would it ever be enough? It's a scary thing letting people down. And for some...that might mean not trying...because the hardest thing ever is disappointing the people you love...
All that aside, I know its not worth much, but I'm positive people value you for more than what you DO. It's just that when our friends hang out it seems people always NEED to be DOING something, rather than just enjoying each others company...which occasionally makes one wonder if one's company is enjoyed at all.
Honestly, I think some of the funnest times I've had with you are when you'd come by my room in CV on occasion before anime, or when we'd chill while the boys played magic, and we'd kinda chat about simple stuff, and sometimes you'd knit and I'd crochet and it'd be neat. Point is, it's the person you are that makes me like you, not what you do for me. In fact, I'd almost you rather didn't do things for people so that 1) there'd be an opportunity to do things for you and 2) you just wouldn't have that "responsibility" on your shoulders, or that "expectation" to live up to. People know you're not one to say no to much of anything...which is a blessing, but can make one very vulnerable to be taken advantage of...and I can definitely see how your insecurity comes into play in that sense.
However, just know at least one person doesn't think like that (probably two, because Teresa probably agrees with me...and even more probably many others).
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