Other people
Its hard to write and not aim it at someone who might be reading. I'm trying to stop doing that.
So I'm flawed, no news there.
Feeling pretty mank today. Doubt many people are interested but I have a silly cold. Must have been from the air conditioning on the tour coach. Recycling the germs. Its just enough to be annoying but not bad enough to stay in bed all day and demand sympathy.
Haven't really been making much use of the extra time on my hands. Yesterday I....um....I can't remember exactly what I did. Except I went out in the evening to Dave's house and we went to the park to play netball/rugby in the park in the dark. Whoo - that even rhymes. And I spent a little time and much more brain-energy trying to work out this anagram - STIRGANKY - which is supposedly a mixed up country. The best I came up with was Kyrgistan or Stingray (k). Answers on the back of a postcard...
Clever how I'm avoiding the issues.
Thought about doing some homework today. Then decided to clean my room. Must have been desperate. Intial aim was to find the gym membership forms (which incidently never materialised) but ended up being quite cathartic. Read a few old letters. Threw away bad stuff. Generally arranged things to look less chaotic. It was...fun. Help me, I'm losing it.
Pretending to be busy distracts me.
I made dinner. Pasta alla carbonara. It turned into more cheesy scrambled egg with bacon and pasta but none of my family seemed to notice. Or were too polite to refuse seconds. It was proper Italian pasta - the works. Sadly not penis-pasta. But that's another story...
So here I am. Trying to keep my thoughts in order. Trying not to give too much away. Trying not to give into temptation. Already failed on that account. I am not a patient person. So much for letting things work themselves out in time.
I can't seem to think anything without it sounding pretentious. Nevermind write it down.
Wish I could just confess everything one day. To one person. But there are too many....conflicts of interest. I know too much and too little at the same time. I want to help but only ever make things worse. I shouldn't try but I have to.
Everytime I can listen to someone it gives me a little bit of pride. A little bit of light. Things may pale in comparison. I feel a small sense of amazement that someone should trust me. Its beautiful.
I know no one else will understand that. Or want to. If you don't want to know then don't read this. Please. Don't.
It remains your choice.
So I'm flawed, no news there.
Feeling pretty mank today. Doubt many people are interested but I have a silly cold. Must have been from the air conditioning on the tour coach. Recycling the germs. Its just enough to be annoying but not bad enough to stay in bed all day and demand sympathy.
Haven't really been making much use of the extra time on my hands. Yesterday I....um....I can't remember exactly what I did. Except I went out in the evening to Dave's house and we went to the park to play netball/rugby in the park in the dark. Whoo - that even rhymes. And I spent a little time and much more brain-energy trying to work out this anagram - STIRGANKY - which is supposedly a mixed up country. The best I came up with was Kyrgistan or Stingray (k). Answers on the back of a postcard...
Clever how I'm avoiding the issues.
Thought about doing some homework today. Then decided to clean my room. Must have been desperate. Intial aim was to find the gym membership forms (which incidently never materialised) but ended up being quite cathartic. Read a few old letters. Threw away bad stuff. Generally arranged things to look less chaotic. It was...fun. Help me, I'm losing it.
Pretending to be busy distracts me.
I made dinner. Pasta alla carbonara. It turned into more cheesy scrambled egg with bacon and pasta but none of my family seemed to notice. Or were too polite to refuse seconds. It was proper Italian pasta - the works. Sadly not penis-pasta. But that's another story...
So here I am. Trying to keep my thoughts in order. Trying not to give too much away. Trying not to give into temptation. Already failed on that account. I am not a patient person. So much for letting things work themselves out in time.
I can't seem to think anything without it sounding pretentious. Nevermind write it down.
Wish I could just confess everything one day. To one person. But there are too many....conflicts of interest. I know too much and too little at the same time. I want to help but only ever make things worse. I shouldn't try but I have to.
Everytime I can listen to someone it gives me a little bit of pride. A little bit of light. Things may pale in comparison. I feel a small sense of amazement that someone should trust me. Its beautiful.
I know no one else will understand that. Or want to. If you don't want to know then don't read this. Please. Don't.
It remains your choice.