Just indulge me.
A piece of "art" work by Gemma Lilley, titled: Distracted Panda
Thought I'd share my picture with you. His name is Panda. In 1984 Panda was taken away from his family at an early age and bought to Hollywood where he starred in many hit TV shows including, Rico and the Panda, Steve and the Panda and the timeless Stanley and Panda. Each programme exploring the mad cap life of a free spirited bachelor and his adopted panda, with hilarious results. In 1997 animal and man related shows were at their least popular. Tuner and Hooch was banned in 70 cinemas nationwide, Harry and the Hendersons was outlawed by the Archdioses due to its reference to beastiality videos of Beethoven were recalled to Universal to be taped over and resold as 'behind the laughter documentaries'. And Garfield was attributed to the mass suicides of over 30 people in Utah. Rejected, Panda retired from the public eye, spending the majority of his time in his one bedroom apartment in Queens, watching the television of the time. Panda spent 10 years living a solitary life, (which is incidentaly very normal for the Panda) watching such great shows as 'The Fresh Prince of Bel Air', 'Moesha' and up untill very early this year, 'Lost'. He found the diversity of characters very appealing as well as the way the programme signifies the innate urges of human kind through the Island. Although mostly he just liked the Polar bears. On January 18th this year, a team of pot smoking, tye-dye wearing, lay-abouts, who wore vegetarian shoes and hated Jeremy Clarkson (who Panda liked because of his almost parodic representation of the traditional western male) darted and bagged Panda, returning him to the forests of China in which he could live out the rest of his life as a normal panda. Unable to make it back to Xinzheng, China main airport, due to the annoying factor that the Panda can only eat Bamboo, which has a very low nutritional value, forcing him to consume over 15% of his body weight in 12 hours. After eating, sleep and a game of 'Mouse Trap' (his favourite board game despite the fact the cage always got stuck before it caught the mouse), there just wasn't enough time. He doesn't really like the other pandas because they only ever talk about Bamboo, which is pretty boring after you have covered its amazing versitility and strength, it's use in construction and animal darting and the fact that is has one of the most rapid growth rates of any plant. Anyway, forced into the patterns of a natural panda, all Panda can do it sit and mimmick the others trying to find faces in the leaves.