Pornography's slimy (silky?) underbelly...
I'm just blowing time, wishing I didn't have to MATHS.
But. I. Do.
Boo.
ASIDE:
I hate telling people I'm a 'student'.
I've taken to calling myself a 'hobo'
when people ask what I "do".
This is solely because hobos are asked fewer follow-up questions.
/ASIDE
So, I am watching random videos because:
Youtube?
I was chasing Terry Crews audio,
BECAUSE I CAN.
I love people who lay shame out,
by speaking up about basic self-truths
without hiding
all the shitty shit inside.
Not Orange-Faced blurters, no!
We're talkin' about exorcism by light, fool!
Ran into videos of him preachin' about battlin' porn addiction.
Because the internet.
Oh, the internet.
You will talk about EVERYTHING, don't you internet?
It's one of the reasons I love you so much.
[MORE PORN! CLICK HERE!]
Once upon a time I had a long term relationship
with a dude addicted to porn.
IT WAS AWESOME.
When I first "discovered" the problem
(3 years into our relationship)
I was like, "OH! This isn't even a PROBLEM!"
(I had no moral ill-will toward porn, so... no problem!
I thought.)
And by the end I was like,
"This... is a HUGE fucking problem, yo."
(I still had no moral problem with porn,
but it turned out I had BIG moral problems
with lies, double-lives, and manipulation,
plus a general problem with our lack of sexual intimacy.
WHO KNEW?)
And it also turned out to be
the HARDEST thing to talk about!
With him.
With others.
With anybody.
Because everyone is so knee-jerk about porn.
Minds already made up.
Whether it's winnin' or sinnin',
everyone agrees we shouldn't talk about porn,
except to say, with a smile...
"Porn..."
or a frown
"Porn!"
or with a secret smile
".....porn...."
or with pursed lips,
"....o yeah, daddy....porn...."
NOW LIKE A TIGER!
You're a TIGER, baby!
RAWRR! YEAH!
So.... everyone agrees NOT to do a hand-check
and GO ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS!
Now, please, DON'T say porn again!
We're a FAMILY-ORIENTED, traditional business!
Passed down from generation to generation,
don't say it
from father to son,
don't say it
just like porn.
Stop SAYING that WORD!
Anyways,... here is the thing.
To me, the video of Terry Crews talkin' about
his "problem"
(his words, not mine)
made me think not just about that ex,
and other men I've met who have talked to me about
where objectifying women... came from, for them.
And where it took them,
and what they did with it.
Because, I HAVE had that conversation!
With a FEW men!
(I know, I'm VERY lucky.)
About men who felt programmed,
men who felt manipulated by
what culture told them to do/be
(do-be-dooooo)
as men.
I remember Joe.
He was raised by two moms.
When he was 15,
is two best friends were a lesbian couple in their early 20s
(I was the lesbian couple's OTHER best friend)
and so once I HAD to ask,
"Joe? Is it a coincidence you were raised by lesbians,
and now you hang out with a super-cute lady-couple?
Do you have... a thing for it?"
And his reaction TOTALLY surprised me.
He was like,
"Actually, having two moms
sorta takes the shine off ALL THOSE apples.
They have had to defend their relationship,
and raising me EVERY STEP OF THE WAY
with pretty much everyone they meet
and everyone who knew about them.
So THAT'S what I think of when I think of lesbians.
I am well aware other guys see them differently."
He then went on to express genuine appreciation
for the early 20's lady-couple for their individual characteristics.
Up to, and including, them giving him a place to hang out
after school and play the drums.
What I mean is,...
guys who are willing to talk about their programming,
SPECIFICALLY their sex/attraction programming
in the understanding that it is merely PROGRAMMING
are fuckin' COURAGEOUS.
If only more men WOULD (could?) talk about it,
in deep and meaningful ways
we might see some light at the end
of this tunnel of love/hate mock-rape and mixtape
the media is *pretending* to forfeit
by replaying it on all screens 24/7.
But. I. Do.
Boo.
ASIDE:
I hate telling people I'm a 'student'.
I've taken to calling myself a 'hobo'
when people ask what I "do".
This is solely because hobos are asked fewer follow-up questions.
/ASIDE
So, I am watching random videos because:
Youtube?
I was chasing Terry Crews audio,
BECAUSE I CAN.
I love people who lay shame out,
by speaking up about basic self-truths
without hiding
all the shitty shit inside.
Not Orange-Faced blurters, no!
We're talkin' about exorcism by light, fool!
Ran into videos of him preachin' about battlin' porn addiction.
Because the internet.
Oh, the internet.
You will talk about EVERYTHING, don't you internet?
It's one of the reasons I love you so much.
[MORE PORN! CLICK HERE!]
Once upon a time I had a long term relationship
with a dude addicted to porn.
IT WAS AWESOME.
When I first "discovered" the problem
(3 years into our relationship)
I was like, "OH! This isn't even a PROBLEM!"
(I had no moral ill-will toward porn, so... no problem!
I thought.)
And by the end I was like,
"This... is a HUGE fucking problem, yo."
(I still had no moral problem with porn,
but it turned out I had BIG moral problems
with lies, double-lives, and manipulation,
plus a general problem with our lack of sexual intimacy.
WHO KNEW?)
And it also turned out to be
the HARDEST thing to talk about!
With him.
With others.
With anybody.
Because everyone is so knee-jerk about porn.
Minds already made up.
Whether it's winnin' or sinnin',
everyone agrees we shouldn't talk about porn,
except to say, with a smile...
"Porn..."
or a frown
"Porn!"
or with a secret smile
".....porn...."
or with pursed lips,
"....o yeah, daddy....porn...."
NOW LIKE A TIGER!
You're a TIGER, baby!
RAWRR! YEAH!
So.... everyone agrees NOT to do a hand-check
and GO ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS!
Now, please, DON'T say porn again!
We're a FAMILY-ORIENTED, traditional business!
Passed down from generation to generation,
don't say it
from father to son,
don't say it
just like porn.
Stop SAYING that WORD!
Anyways,... here is the thing.
To me, the video of Terry Crews talkin' about
his "problem"
(his words, not mine)
made me think not just about that ex,
and other men I've met who have talked to me about
where objectifying women... came from, for them.
And where it took them,
and what they did with it.
Because, I HAVE had that conversation!
With a FEW men!
(I know, I'm VERY lucky.)
About men who felt programmed,
men who felt manipulated by
what culture told them to do/be
(do-be-dooooo)
as men.
I remember Joe.
He was raised by two moms.
When he was 15,
is two best friends were a lesbian couple in their early 20s
(I was the lesbian couple's OTHER best friend)
and so once I HAD to ask,
"Joe? Is it a coincidence you were raised by lesbians,
and now you hang out with a super-cute lady-couple?
Do you have... a thing for it?"
And his reaction TOTALLY surprised me.
He was like,
"Actually, having two moms
sorta takes the shine off ALL THOSE apples.
They have had to defend their relationship,
and raising me EVERY STEP OF THE WAY
with pretty much everyone they meet
and everyone who knew about them.
So THAT'S what I think of when I think of lesbians.
I am well aware other guys see them differently."
He then went on to express genuine appreciation
for the early 20's lady-couple for their individual characteristics.
Up to, and including, them giving him a place to hang out
after school and play the drums.
What I mean is,...
guys who are willing to talk about their programming,
SPECIFICALLY their sex/attraction programming
in the understanding that it is merely PROGRAMMING
are fuckin' COURAGEOUS.
If only more men WOULD (could?) talk about it,
in deep and meaningful ways
we might see some light at the end
of this tunnel of love/hate mock-rape and mixtape
the media is *pretending* to forfeit
by replaying it on all screens 24/7.