At a loss...
This morning I woke up sad.
Completely sad.
I had a dream of loss... of separation... of the little things that flutter around inside your head when everything feels like its falling apart in the moment... like you.. are falling apart in the moment. Turned into water pouring out of yourself, wondering how you're not becoming the floor once you're down there. Wanting to go under the floor. Then under the under floor and stay there.. in the dark, a doll without stuffing.
It was just a dream.
I visited a friend to lose the fog of loss.
Not long after, something totally unrelated to my life happened...
Nelson Mandela died half a world away.
... I felt that emptiness fill me again as I comprehended our communal loss.
Good souls die everyday, totally unknown to me.
But right now I wish I had freckles under my eyes like he did.
I feel too small to consider wishing for his other features.
Courage, will, passion...
Completely sad.
I had a dream of loss... of separation... of the little things that flutter around inside your head when everything feels like its falling apart in the moment... like you.. are falling apart in the moment. Turned into water pouring out of yourself, wondering how you're not becoming the floor once you're down there. Wanting to go under the floor. Then under the under floor and stay there.. in the dark, a doll without stuffing.
It was just a dream.
I visited a friend to lose the fog of loss.
Not long after, something totally unrelated to my life happened...
Nelson Mandela died half a world away.
... I felt that emptiness fill me again as I comprehended our communal loss.
Good souls die everyday, totally unknown to me.
But right now I wish I had freckles under my eyes like he did.
I feel too small to consider wishing for his other features.
Courage, will, passion...