Talking is stupid.
Talked to Jesse about "feelings".
When I start "talking" about, you know, stuff... that kind of stuff like, "Im unhappy and its because you suck" stuff...
I feel bad for having to go through that crap.
Mainly, I say stuff and look sad, Jesse stays quiet. He's a smart boy like that. Let me talk about whatever crap is bothering me and feel better before trying to "defend yourself". Smart, smart boy.
And of course, when I ask for "what I want" its vague ideas. I dont want THINGS,.. I dont want a blow up swimming pool or a 2 liter of soda. I want intangible things.. and damnit, I dont think that makes sense to people like sensible Jesse.
I've always known something was weird with Jesse and how his memory worked and what he finds important and not important,.. and I've decided its because he doesn't remember/learn/understand through/with context,.. ESPECIALLY social context. But he is someone who wants to see everything literally and seperately.
So, we have to find a way for me to be able to speak in a way for him to understand every aspect that Im trying to express (Apparently long-winded analogies dont work for him;) and for him to fill out what he means with context so I know what the fuck he's referring to. Hehe. He tries to get away with half-sentences that Im supposed to understand and take sincerely with whatever his full intentions are.
Me:"blah blah blah, you, blah blah blah, me, blah blah blah us... blah blah blah confused, hurt, blah blah blah, like a boat that doesnt have any paddles that I have to blah blah blah and its just so hard, blah blah blah and I feel like blah blah blah and I dont know why blah blah blah and its like theres a giant gorilla and a horse and they're fighting and the jungle wonders why blah blah blah... so, what do you think?"
Jesse: "Uh,... maybe?"
Silly boys.
Silly girls.
Humanity, as a whole, kinda sucks. We're all so personally involved and so disgustingly different, we can barely even communicate with eachother. You should see Jesse and I try to make decisions.. its terrible. Since neither of us care and neither of us want to be the decision maker, we just both shrug our shoulders and go, "Eh, I dont care" and hope against hope that the other person makes the decision for us. hehe.
I suck. I punked out on Jesse and Rashonda today, and Jesse and I missed going to see the new Superman movie.. but its ok since he placed first on an online tournament. I'll allow that. hehe.
Will try to buy Jen a present for her birthday.. For some reason, whenever her birthday comes around, I never have money to buy her a present. I suck. Jesse's is also coming up... bah. At least I have a job and don't have to worry too terribly much.
*big sigh of relief*
Im feeling much better than I was this morning. Thank god.
Jesse and I will be heading down to the Oregon State Fair.
"Why," you ask, "are you going to the Oregon State Fair?"
Because its the Violent Femmes and The Decemberists opening for Cake. Thats why! AT THE FAIR!!
There are like 5 concerts coming to town I want to see, and now that I have job.. there is a chance I could see them!
Supersuckers
Social Distortion
The Horrorpops
Reverend Horton Heat
Mastadon
Slayer
Tom Petty
Toad the Wet Sprocket
Ani DiFranco
Faster Pussycat
30 Seconds to Mars..
So many concerts! Here! In this shithole!
Social Distortion is being opened by The SuperSuckers.. who I LOVED.. and got Eddie Speghetti's autograph last year when they opened for Rev. Horton Heat..
Reverend Horton Heat is being opened by The Horrorpops the same night that 30 Seconds from Mars is playing down the street,... and, I love The Leto.. (Mmm,.. so sexy) but The Rev and The Horrorpops.. I dont think I can stay away!
Too bad I wont make it to Seattle to see The Voodoo Glow Skulls opened by The Suburban Legends.. :(
Concerts are fun.
I think I will invite my mom to The Rev... she may not like The Horrorpops, but she seemed to really like the psychobilly edge of Hank Williams III,... which means that I think she'd really like The Rev.. because they rock ass.
The end.
Did I tell you that my mom also wants to go to Ani DiFranco? Maybe Ill have money by then to go to that, too... Im worried about her ticket prices. Just like I know I probably wont go to Tom Petty because Im cheap.
When I start "talking" about, you know, stuff... that kind of stuff like, "Im unhappy and its because you suck" stuff...
I feel bad for having to go through that crap.
Mainly, I say stuff and look sad, Jesse stays quiet. He's a smart boy like that. Let me talk about whatever crap is bothering me and feel better before trying to "defend yourself". Smart, smart boy.
And of course, when I ask for "what I want" its vague ideas. I dont want THINGS,.. I dont want a blow up swimming pool or a 2 liter of soda. I want intangible things.. and damnit, I dont think that makes sense to people like sensible Jesse.
I've always known something was weird with Jesse and how his memory worked and what he finds important and not important,.. and I've decided its because he doesn't remember/learn/understand through/with context,.. ESPECIALLY social context. But he is someone who wants to see everything literally and seperately.
So, we have to find a way for me to be able to speak in a way for him to understand every aspect that Im trying to express (Apparently long-winded analogies dont work for him;) and for him to fill out what he means with context so I know what the fuck he's referring to. Hehe. He tries to get away with half-sentences that Im supposed to understand and take sincerely with whatever his full intentions are.
Me:"blah blah blah, you, blah blah blah, me, blah blah blah us... blah blah blah confused, hurt, blah blah blah, like a boat that doesnt have any paddles that I have to blah blah blah and its just so hard, blah blah blah and I feel like blah blah blah and I dont know why blah blah blah and its like theres a giant gorilla and a horse and they're fighting and the jungle wonders why blah blah blah... so, what do you think?"
Jesse: "Uh,... maybe?"
Silly boys.
Silly girls.
Humanity, as a whole, kinda sucks. We're all so personally involved and so disgustingly different, we can barely even communicate with eachother. You should see Jesse and I try to make decisions.. its terrible. Since neither of us care and neither of us want to be the decision maker, we just both shrug our shoulders and go, "Eh, I dont care" and hope against hope that the other person makes the decision for us. hehe.
I suck. I punked out on Jesse and Rashonda today, and Jesse and I missed going to see the new Superman movie.. but its ok since he placed first on an online tournament. I'll allow that. hehe.
Will try to buy Jen a present for her birthday.. For some reason, whenever her birthday comes around, I never have money to buy her a present. I suck. Jesse's is also coming up... bah. At least I have a job and don't have to worry too terribly much.
*big sigh of relief*
Im feeling much better than I was this morning. Thank god.
Jesse and I will be heading down to the Oregon State Fair.
"Why," you ask, "are you going to the Oregon State Fair?"
Because its the Violent Femmes and The Decemberists opening for Cake. Thats why! AT THE FAIR!!
There are like 5 concerts coming to town I want to see, and now that I have job.. there is a chance I could see them!
Supersuckers
Social Distortion
The Horrorpops
Reverend Horton Heat
Mastadon
Slayer
Tom Petty
Toad the Wet Sprocket
Ani DiFranco
Faster Pussycat
30 Seconds to Mars..
So many concerts! Here! In this shithole!
Social Distortion is being opened by The SuperSuckers.. who I LOVED.. and got Eddie Speghetti's autograph last year when they opened for Rev. Horton Heat..
Reverend Horton Heat is being opened by The Horrorpops the same night that 30 Seconds from Mars is playing down the street,... and, I love The Leto.. (Mmm,.. so sexy) but The Rev and The Horrorpops.. I dont think I can stay away!
Too bad I wont make it to Seattle to see The Voodoo Glow Skulls opened by The Suburban Legends.. :(
Concerts are fun.
I think I will invite my mom to The Rev... she may not like The Horrorpops, but she seemed to really like the psychobilly edge of Hank Williams III,... which means that I think she'd really like The Rev.. because they rock ass.
The end.
Did I tell you that my mom also wants to go to Ani DiFranco? Maybe Ill have money by then to go to that, too... Im worried about her ticket prices. Just like I know I probably wont go to Tom Petty because Im cheap.