Time for a Station Break
This is how I do things:
1. Distract myself from a large, important, immediately onerous job -
(ie: RealWork®)
I allow spiral my thoughts out
dreaming various "What Ifs"
like, "What if I had the time..."
or "What if I had the energy..."
or "What if I had the resources..."
or "What if I had a team..."
2. I spend weeks, months, or years
panning out the piles of those assorted "What Ifs"
looking for goldgood nuggets worth keeping.
Real photo of The Wench caught-in-action during this process:
3. Spend weeks, months, or years
refining the best collected "What Ifs"
and displaying them in some internal/eternal
Collection of Good What Ifs I May Or May Not Follow Up On
4. Suddenly (seemingly at random to outsiders)
I jump into action
in a flurry of determination
fully implementing some dreamy and never-mentioned
but fully-fleshed out "What If" scenario
that I came up with
weeks/months/years ago
and have been slowly working into a RealPlan®
while trying to distract myself from assorted past RealWork®
Video evidence of The Wench killin' it in a lonely fashion.
5. The good "What If" idea, is now my RealWork®
and I feel I must distract myself from it
by creating new "What If" dreams.
A tangent:
_____________________________________________________________________
The other day I was talking to abunchofcrap
and I struggled to get to a point I have
why I personally (me describing me)
think it's a disservice to diversity
to diagram our differences
clinically
as a medical diagnosis
with chemical treatments
so much of the time.
MOST ESPECIALLY
diversity of the mind.
For hundreds of years
medicine focused on men as normal
and women as abnormal men.
Scientifically treated
as if all us Eves are truly born
of Adam's rib somehow,
and our biological dimorphism
a curious deformity of God's pure vision of Man Kind.
Seriously,
don't trust people just because they
wear a fancy jacket to work.
Mostly,
I don't trust culture itself
as a fair and honest barometer
of what is "natural"
because...
culture doesn't actually KNOW
(or care)
what "natural" is.
That's not culture's JOB
to *know* those things.
What culture DOES concern itself with
is what is "normal".
Normal
is what we THINK/BELIEVE is natural
(or good)
at any given time.
It wasn't long ago
(in fact: it's happening today)
that homo/bi/pan/asexuality was
a sympathetic medical diagnosis
with "helpful" medical treatments suggested
to "correct" the "problem";
up to
and including
quarantine, mutilation, sterilization, or a creative assortment of body/mind trauma
which is NOW considered torture
(in some places)
but not long ago
was conceived as "treatment"...
(in some places)
much like BIA Schools
where being culturally indigenous
was treated
like a sickness only preachers and teachers
experimenting with indoctrination
could possibly heal.
Once up on a time,
arguing with your husband too much
could get him
a prescription
to get you
.... a lobotomy.
That wasn't that long ago.
Culture is very marketing minded right now,
and wants us to believe that idealized perfection is not only real
(spoiler: it's not)
and attainable
(spoiler: it's not)
it's EXPECTED of you
(super-spoiler: it's not!).
To sell that idea it disparages and dismisses the confusing mess
of actual lived reality where no one is perfect
everyone struggles, and life is unfair
as "Inconvenient, but treatable!"
A friend recently said that she admires that I
"[...] go through life
with the confidence of a 4-year old
in a batman t-shirt and light-up shoes".
I answered,
"Fugg yeah! It's because I AM BATMAN!
BLAMMO!!!"
But what I felt was,
"Where'd all the other confident inner 4 year olds... go?"
I'm not saying there aren't shy personalities,
but even the shyest end-stage toddlers
love to jump and squawk and dance
and pretend they're super heroes sometimes,
because they know
deep inside
they really... actually are.
And I wonder how much of our collective experience of rampant mental illness
is really our inner 4 year old
having a long term but very valid reaction
to not being
seen/heard/listened to/played with/talked to/encouraged
but who is being pointedly ignored
(doubling down on the valid terrible feels)
because some book in a fancy jacket
(FANCY JACKETS STRIKE AGAIN!)
admonished our inner child
and diminished our daily struggle
calling it "immature"
to *feel*
like... play is important
or dreaming is meaningful.
________________________________________________________
Full Circle:
Right now,
I have two big "What If's"
That are at the point of being RealWork®
and I am proud of them
and I am excited for them.
But as I work through my procrastinations
and play with diffuse distractions today
I know
I'm unfocused.
I know I'm a daydreamer.
I think it's one of my best traits!
Although I know I'm supposed to hate this side of myself.
that is so
inefficient,
I just can't be bothered.
I'm too busy
playing
and having fun
imagining
"What Ifs"
and loving how they help me battle
the I Don't Wannas.
And how I help me make my dreams come true
by prioritizing dreaming
as an important and respected part
of my life spent living
with myself.
1. Distract myself from a large, important, immediately onerous job -
(ie: RealWork®)
I allow spiral my thoughts out
dreaming various "What Ifs"
like, "What if I had the time..."
or "What if I had the energy..."
or "What if I had the resources..."
or "What if I had a team..."
2. I spend weeks, months, or years
panning out the piles of those assorted "What Ifs"
looking for goldgood nuggets worth keeping.
Real photo of The Wench caught-in-action during this process:
3. Spend weeks, months, or years
refining the best collected "What Ifs"
and displaying them in some internal/eternal
Collection of Good What Ifs I May Or May Not Follow Up On
4. Suddenly (seemingly at random to outsiders)
I jump into action
in a flurry of determination
fully implementing some dreamy and never-mentioned
but fully-fleshed out "What If" scenario
that I came up with
weeks/months/years ago
and have been slowly working into a RealPlan®
while trying to distract myself from assorted past RealWork®
Video evidence of The Wench killin' it in a lonely fashion.
5. The good "What If" idea, is now my RealWork®
and I feel I must distract myself from it
by creating new "What If" dreams.
A tangent:
_____________________________________________________________________
The other day I was talking to abunchofcrap
and I struggled to get to a point I have
why I personally (me describing me)
think it's a disservice to diversity
to diagram our differences
clinically
as a medical diagnosis
with chemical treatments
so much of the time.
MOST ESPECIALLY
diversity of the mind.
For hundreds of years
medicine focused on men as normal
and women as abnormal men.
Scientifically treated
as if all us Eves are truly born
of Adam's rib somehow,
and our biological dimorphism
a curious deformity of God's pure vision of Man Kind.
Seriously,
don't trust people just because they
wear a fancy jacket to work.
Mostly,
I don't trust culture itself
as a fair and honest barometer
of what is "natural"
because...
culture doesn't actually KNOW
(or care)
what "natural" is.
That's not culture's JOB
to *know* those things.
What culture DOES concern itself with
is what is "normal".
Normal
is what we THINK/BELIEVE is natural
(or good)
at any given time.
It wasn't long ago
(in fact: it's happening today)
that homo/bi/pan/asexuality was
a sympathetic medical diagnosis
with "helpful" medical treatments suggested
to "correct" the "problem";
up to
and including
quarantine, mutilation, sterilization, or a creative assortment of body/mind trauma
which is NOW considered torture
(in some places)
but not long ago
was conceived as "treatment"...
(in some places)
much like BIA Schools
where being culturally indigenous
was treated
like a sickness only preachers and teachers
experimenting with indoctrination
could possibly heal.
Once up on a time,
arguing with your husband too much
could get him
a prescription
to get you
.... a lobotomy.
That wasn't that long ago.
Culture is very marketing minded right now,
and wants us to believe that idealized perfection is not only real
(spoiler: it's not)
and attainable
(spoiler: it's not)
it's EXPECTED of you
(super-spoiler: it's not!).
To sell that idea it disparages and dismisses the confusing mess
of actual lived reality where no one is perfect
everyone struggles, and life is unfair
as "Inconvenient, but treatable!"
A friend recently said that she admires that I
"[...] go through life
with the confidence of a 4-year old
in a batman t-shirt and light-up shoes".
I answered,
"Fugg yeah! It's because I AM BATMAN!
BLAMMO!!!"
But what I felt was,
"Where'd all the other confident inner 4 year olds... go?"
I'm not saying there aren't shy personalities,
but even the shyest end-stage toddlers
love to jump and squawk and dance
and pretend they're super heroes sometimes,
because they know
deep inside
they really... actually are.
And I wonder how much of our collective experience of rampant mental illness
is really our inner 4 year old
having a long term but very valid reaction
to not being
seen/heard/listened to/played with/talked to/encouraged
but who is being pointedly ignored
(doubling down on the valid terrible feels)
because some book in a fancy jacket
(FANCY JACKETS STRIKE AGAIN!)
admonished our inner child
and diminished our daily struggle
calling it "immature"
to *feel*
like... play is important
or dreaming is meaningful.
________________________________________________________
Full Circle:
Right now,
I have two big "What If's"
That are at the point of being RealWork®
and I am proud of them
and I am excited for them.
But as I work through my procrastinations
and play with diffuse distractions today
I know
I'm unfocused.
I know I'm a daydreamer.
I think it's one of my best traits!
Although I know I'm supposed to hate this side of myself.
that is so
inefficient,
I just can't be bothered.
I'm too busy
playing
and having fun
imagining
"What Ifs"
and loving how they help me battle
the I Don't Wannas.
And how I help me make my dreams come true
by prioritizing dreaming
as an important and respected part
of my life spent living
with myself.