WHAT DO WE WANT? Polite and informed discourse!
WHEN DO WE WANT IT?
At an agreeable time to both of us!
I am standing at another work precipice,
each one is bigger than the last.
I'm learning new juggling tricks.
I've never been a good
pen-and-paper-planner
and
strict time keeping gives me a bellyache
and nervous sweats.
I work hard at work,
and think about it ALL THE TIME...
but really it's a joy most days.
But I write very little down
and I'm finding my threshhold
with my current set of habits.
Thursday,
in the afternoon before we record our first episode of the New Year,
I was invited to the sound/stage check
of an annual sultry Flamenco party.
We're recording a new episode the performance night,
so I can't attend the actual
one-night-only show
but we are [I am] considering it as a presentation for next year.
(It's like offering to book and entire show/ensemble
for an exclusive performance and recording)
I invited our marketing director
and ops manager
to join me for the field trip
because,...
MUSIC AND DANCE FIELD TRIP!
I really do have the best job there
so it seems only fair to share the joys.
Also, they're both enthusiastic allies for my ideas
and they both have a seat at the Managers Meeting
whereas, I do not.
Friday,
I was invited out to lunch
by another local female entertainment producer.
She's the event organizer for some upscale jazz clubs
on the West Coast throwing 1920s-1030s Copacabana style parties.
She's also won some Grammys
as a jazz and latin vocalist
and has the strangest web gallery I've EVER seen.
Whateves.
Afterwards I will get back to the studio to record another episode
with another musician.
I also invited the Arts & Culture guy from the local NPR station
to come to the studio
and see a recording... give him a tour.
I asked him for a tour of his radio station in exchange.
I've been at my job about a year longer
than he's been at his.
And I also got recently booked as a guest
on the community radio station
where I used to be a programmer and music host.
Ha!
It's the first time I've been
a guest!
It's fun,
and it's terrifying.
I'm not even talking about the terrifying parts!
I am dreading being on camera,
for my new show that starts recording
NEXT WEEK
just...
DREADING it.
I will do it,
because
otherwise
it won't happen at all.
This really is more of like a screen test,
than a real show..
yet.
Because I am still working out
how I can be like either be the near-invisible host
of The Actor's Round Table
or hire/cast someone.
OR really,
cast a host of hosts...
because THAT'S my idea.
I just have to figure out
how to make it happen.
Until then?
It's me.
I was never too shy about the radio,
and I love interviewing people...
but me and video cameras
are ancient enemies.
Like Sasquatch,
I am best seen
in blurry still photos.
I look like a meat museum of collective recessive genetic traits
at the quality and quantity
usually reserved for feeble first-born
hemophiliac Romanian princelings.
But I also truly believe
that we are losing great human dignity
if we proceed as if only the
pretty, pert, and popular
deserve the chance
to be seen
and listened to
as if they were people, too.
Ratboy: Sometimes it's hard to be different.
Please... watch the last 3 seconds of that link.
For me.
Anyways,
my work calendar is busy
with exciting
and scary
and fun things.
For Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Day
I will be handing out free books
where I will have the opportunity to say things like,
"Did you see LeVar Burton on Finding Your Roots
cryin' and sayin' how Reading Rainbow was the most important thing he ever did?"
Or "What about that documentary that aired this weekend
about the case for Reparations?"
because
that is ACTUALLY
my natural conversation style
AND kind of casual topics I like
ANYWAYS.
Truly.
Anyways,
my head is full of times and dates
of wonderful things
big and small
and I am ready to hyperventilate
anytime I think too far ahead.
So instead,
I am here
blowing off steam
because I'm too nervous to sleep
afraid I will be late,
afraid I will forget,
afraid I will disappoint.
These aren't fantasy-fears.
These are my everyday reality.
Today even,
was balancing who I could disappoint,
and how much,
in an attempt to TRY and be timely
and be where I said I would be
doing what I said I would be doing....
which is:
be everything/everywhere
which is fun to try
but hard to succeed at.
At an agreeable time to both of us!
I am standing at another work precipice,
each one is bigger than the last.
I'm learning new juggling tricks.
I've never been a good
pen-and-paper-planner
and
strict time keeping gives me a bellyache
and nervous sweats.
I work hard at work,
and think about it ALL THE TIME...
but really it's a joy most days.
But I write very little down
and I'm finding my threshhold
with my current set of habits.
Thursday,
in the afternoon before we record our first episode of the New Year,
I was invited to the sound/stage check
of an annual sultry Flamenco party.
We're recording a new episode the performance night,
so I can't attend the actual
one-night-only show
but we are [I am] considering it as a presentation for next year.
(It's like offering to book and entire show/ensemble
for an exclusive performance and recording)
I invited our marketing director
and ops manager
to join me for the field trip
because,...
MUSIC AND DANCE FIELD TRIP!
I really do have the best job there
so it seems only fair to share the joys.
Also, they're both enthusiastic allies for my ideas
and they both have a seat at the Managers Meeting
whereas, I do not.
Friday,
I was invited out to lunch
by another local female entertainment producer.
She's the event organizer for some upscale jazz clubs
on the West Coast throwing 1920s-1030s Copacabana style parties.
She's also won some Grammys
as a jazz and latin vocalist
and has the strangest web gallery I've EVER seen.
Whateves.
Afterwards I will get back to the studio to record another episode
with another musician.
I also invited the Arts & Culture guy from the local NPR station
to come to the studio
and see a recording... give him a tour.
I asked him for a tour of his radio station in exchange.
I've been at my job about a year longer
than he's been at his.
And I also got recently booked as a guest
on the community radio station
where I used to be a programmer and music host.
Ha!
It's the first time I've been
a guest!
It's fun,
and it's terrifying.
I'm not even talking about the terrifying parts!
I am dreading being on camera,
for my new show that starts recording
NEXT WEEK
just...
DREADING it.
I will do it,
because
otherwise
it won't happen at all.
This really is more of like a screen test,
than a real show..
yet.
Because I am still working out
how I can be like either be the near-invisible host
of The Actor's Round Table
or hire/cast someone.
OR really,
cast a host of hosts...
because THAT'S my idea.
I just have to figure out
how to make it happen.
Until then?
It's me.
I was never too shy about the radio,
and I love interviewing people...
but me and video cameras
are ancient enemies.
Like Sasquatch,
I am best seen
in blurry still photos.
I look like a meat museum of collective recessive genetic traits
at the quality and quantity
usually reserved for feeble first-born
hemophiliac Romanian princelings.
But I also truly believe
that we are losing great human dignity
if we proceed as if only the
pretty, pert, and popular
deserve the chance
to be seen
and listened to
as if they were people, too.
Ratboy: Sometimes it's hard to be different.
Please... watch the last 3 seconds of that link.
For me.
Anyways,
my work calendar is busy
with exciting
and scary
and fun things.
For Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Day
I will be handing out free books
where I will have the opportunity to say things like,
"Did you see LeVar Burton on Finding Your Roots
cryin' and sayin' how Reading Rainbow was the most important thing he ever did?"
Or "What about that documentary that aired this weekend
about the case for Reparations?"
because
that is ACTUALLY
my natural conversation style
AND kind of casual topics I like
ANYWAYS.
Truly.
Anyways,
my head is full of times and dates
of wonderful things
big and small
and I am ready to hyperventilate
anytime I think too far ahead.
So instead,
I am here
blowing off steam
because I'm too nervous to sleep
afraid I will be late,
afraid I will forget,
afraid I will disappoint.
These aren't fantasy-fears.
These are my everyday reality.
Today even,
was balancing who I could disappoint,
and how much,
in an attempt to TRY and be timely
and be where I said I would be
doing what I said I would be doing....
which is:
be everything/everywhere
which is fun to try
but hard to succeed at.