Sleep
Sleep has been an odd thing lately. I bounce back and forth between taking
Valerian and Melatonin to help get me to sleep and to stay there.
I went almost a week without and my sleep was horrid. Monday night I woke
up in the early hours and stared out into the dark for what felt like hours
on end. I was tired. My eyes would grow heavy, they would shut, and then,
to my horror, they'd open wide again, as though I was subconsciously scared
to fall asleep. (I don't suffer from nightmares.)
So, Tuesday night I drugged myself and slept the whole night, didn't even
wake up in the middle of the night to go pee (which has turned into a
nightly ritual).
Last night, drugs again. It got me to sleep, stayed there for most of the
night, but apparently not as restful as I would have liked. I sit here at
work longing for my bed. I think some of this is depression related.
Someday I hope to find a good balance for my sleep. I'm thankful I don't
stay up all night doing things because I can't sleep. I can sleep, just not
how society thinks I should? Naps are out of the question unless I can set
aside a good 4 hour chunk of my time, because it will take me 30-45 minutes
to fall asleep, assuming I can get my brain to shut up, and then I'm down
for a good 2-3 hours. Less than that and I tend to wake up a very cranky
person.
It's quite possible, that if given the means to do so, I'd be one of those
people that functioned on 4 hours of sleep every 8 to 10 hours or so,
instead of this sleeping all night and staying awake all day routine I'm
currently in.
I enjoy my mornings. Nice and quiet, everyone still in bed, so I'm free to
clean and cook and do the household chores, thus giving me the rest of the
day to enjoy myself or run other errands. I would then take a nap mid-day
and then enjoy my evenings with my loved ones, followed by another sleep
cycle and off I go again. That is, in an ideal world. Alas, I wake up at
6:20ish am and head off to work around 6:55am and don't return home until
almost 6pm. And then I typically find myself in bed around 9 and 10pm. I
like my 9-10 hours of sleep each night.
Yep, I miss a number of activities because I value my comfy clothes and my
quiet time and my sleepy time. I'm trying to find a balance. A mix. I'm
attempting to break out of my routine, or at least adjusting it so that I
can enjoy what life has to offer and still get the me time and the things I
need for me as well.
Valerian and Melatonin to help get me to sleep and to stay there.
I went almost a week without and my sleep was horrid. Monday night I woke
up in the early hours and stared out into the dark for what felt like hours
on end. I was tired. My eyes would grow heavy, they would shut, and then,
to my horror, they'd open wide again, as though I was subconsciously scared
to fall asleep. (I don't suffer from nightmares.)
So, Tuesday night I drugged myself and slept the whole night, didn't even
wake up in the middle of the night to go pee (which has turned into a
nightly ritual).
Last night, drugs again. It got me to sleep, stayed there for most of the
night, but apparently not as restful as I would have liked. I sit here at
work longing for my bed. I think some of this is depression related.
Someday I hope to find a good balance for my sleep. I'm thankful I don't
stay up all night doing things because I can't sleep. I can sleep, just not
how society thinks I should? Naps are out of the question unless I can set
aside a good 4 hour chunk of my time, because it will take me 30-45 minutes
to fall asleep, assuming I can get my brain to shut up, and then I'm down
for a good 2-3 hours. Less than that and I tend to wake up a very cranky
person.
It's quite possible, that if given the means to do so, I'd be one of those
people that functioned on 4 hours of sleep every 8 to 10 hours or so,
instead of this sleeping all night and staying awake all day routine I'm
currently in.
I enjoy my mornings. Nice and quiet, everyone still in bed, so I'm free to
clean and cook and do the household chores, thus giving me the rest of the
day to enjoy myself or run other errands. I would then take a nap mid-day
and then enjoy my evenings with my loved ones, followed by another sleep
cycle and off I go again. That is, in an ideal world. Alas, I wake up at
6:20ish am and head off to work around 6:55am and don't return home until
almost 6pm. And then I typically find myself in bed around 9 and 10pm. I
like my 9-10 hours of sleep each night.
Yep, I miss a number of activities because I value my comfy clothes and my
quiet time and my sleepy time. I'm trying to find a balance. A mix. I'm
attempting to break out of my routine, or at least adjusting it so that I
can enjoy what life has to offer and still get the me time and the things I
need for me as well.