Serious Issues
An old lover emailed me yesterday. It was simply a "Hi. Haven't talked in a
while. How are you?"
Thankfully, my heart didn't flutter like it once did when I'd see his name.
He's now married and has 2 sons and bought a house.
Seems everyone around me has fallen in line with the get married, have
kids, buy a house, routine.
Am I the only one, or close to only one, that doesn't have children?
I hear this news and I know I should be happy for him. He's been at the
same company for 8 years. He has stability. A wife that loves him and 2
lovely boys. So why do I push the email into the archives and feel bitter
for his joy?
This subject. This is the sore subject. The one I don't talk to much with
people about. It's the sensitive subject.
I flounder between wanting the joys of being a parent, of having a child,
and then I think of all the hardships that come from it and then I wonder
if I should be grateful I don't have children.
I am the "other mother". Maybe I should wear that badge proudly and find
the comfort in knowing that should my family need me to step in to help
care for their children that I will be in a position to do so without
worrying about my own children, as I don't have any.
I can tell myself all day the good reasons why I don't have children and I
still can't stifle the ache I feel when I think about what I'm missing. I
know it's not all strawberries and cream.
while. How are you?"
Thankfully, my heart didn't flutter like it once did when I'd see his name.
He's now married and has 2 sons and bought a house.
Seems everyone around me has fallen in line with the get married, have
kids, buy a house, routine.
Am I the only one, or close to only one, that doesn't have children?
I hear this news and I know I should be happy for him. He's been at the
same company for 8 years. He has stability. A wife that loves him and 2
lovely boys. So why do I push the email into the archives and feel bitter
for his joy?
This subject. This is the sore subject. The one I don't talk to much with
people about. It's the sensitive subject.
I flounder between wanting the joys of being a parent, of having a child,
and then I think of all the hardships that come from it and then I wonder
if I should be grateful I don't have children.
I am the "other mother". Maybe I should wear that badge proudly and find
the comfort in knowing that should my family need me to step in to help
care for their children that I will be in a position to do so without
worrying about my own children, as I don't have any.
I can tell myself all day the good reasons why I don't have children and I
still can't stifle the ache I feel when I think about what I'm missing. I
know it's not all strawberries and cream.