Becoming, Part 2

Aug 29, 2013 00:32

Steve updates everyone else, more things happen.

Part 2 )

tony, pepper, fanfiction, loki, avengers, golem-verse

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nemi_chan August 31 2013, 22:27:44 UTC
Hmn.  Loki's lattice reminds me of...I don't know if it was real, or fiction, but in a show there was a man being tried for murder, and it turned out that he had a tumor on his adrenal gland.  So the guy was getting smacked with random jolts of Fight or Flight hormones.  There was some debate if he should be let off or not, and I forget how it went.

We...we expect people to deal with normal levels of aggression, we grow up in changing bodies and we learn to slowly adapt to our changing hormonal levels.   With this, Loki didn't get that opportunity, he was suddenly smacked in the face with 'roid rage and no opportunity to adapt.

However, we have no indication that he rejected such feelings and urges as unacceptable, either.  Which might be the lattice, but I don't think it is.  He didn't, doesn't,  have the moral system to reject them.

However, he didn't realize anything was WRONG with him having these feelings, so I wonder if the lattice blocked his ability to do some introspection?

There's something I'm fond of saying about Mjolnir and Worthiness: To be worthy is good, to not be worthy is not bad--most people aren't worthy, it's a neutral state, you can even be virtuous while not being worthy.  Not being worthy is a completely different kettle of fish from being unworthy, though.  These aren't distinction that are always made, though.

Clint...Clint, I think, is softening a bit towards Loki, because he is looking for reasons to be angry.  Using it as an excuse to keep him not locked up?  When he's already free?  They don't need the excuse.

And Loki is becoming more introspective right away, I think.  And he's all strange and cute with how Tony is trusting him.  Speechless~

Pepper is the best.  And Loki doesn't think to defend himself, without being asked first.  Interesting.  And he was...going to give up everything, life, soul, good name, even a fond place in people's memories, all for Thor, all for the future of Asgard.

Stop breaking my heart.

And oh god I'm going to throw up a little bit about how Thor wanted, down to the depths of his heart, to kill Loki, to render him incapable of fighting back, and unmake him.  You just made that scene a hundred times worst.

Stop breaking my heart.

His room, I find that...I think back to Thor taking away "its things," it's poignant.  And Tony being a frienddad and  wanting want's best for him.  I'm going to wrap myself up in these feels and never ever stop.  (Until you give better ones.)

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gekkoryu September 1 2013, 03:29:53 UTC
The way I was going at it with the "kill him" line wasn't that deep down Thor wanted to kill Loki (he doesn't), but Loki thinking that the final step to make Thor ready to be king was the acceptance of personal sacrifice. Both Loki's and Thor's, because even if he is an object to Thor, he is still Thor's object and wants to think that might mean something. Even though Thor was terrible to him, Loki is clearly valuable (whether it's the giving Thor a reason to stay on Midgard, saving his life/helping him a multitude of times during childhood/teenage years, being his 'brother,' or any other of the many reasons that come to mind). Loki is powerful and intelligent, and everything he does is with the purpose of HELPING Thor even if those actions were spurred on by madness, which on some level Thor knows. To kill Loki would be to lose this force that has literally been driving him forward almost his entire life. The decision to kill him would be life altering in what (Loki believes) is a productive way. By killing Loki Thor is accepting responsibility for his own future and the future of his kingdom.

And I always thought the idea of worthiness in the movie was poorly handled. I'm always happy to get the chance to explore it a little more.

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nemi_chan September 13 2013, 01:17:51 UTC
This is a beautiful way to phrase things. A beautiful, painful, twist on their relationship, and sheds some light on why Frigga might be jealous.

Loki was made FOR Thor, but he drives Thor, shapes Thor, and it's so, so very sad that he failed to make Thor into a person that could see him as a person.

Yet, Thor IS worried about Loki, as displayed by how he twisted around and wanted to fix what Tony did to Loki.

Thor has a serious compartimentalization problem, and I am SO looking forward to your meditations upon and exploration of Worthiness.

Also, very very sorry for my tardy replies, my depression has been acting up badly recently and it makes it difficult to martial my resources to DO.

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gekkoryu September 13 2013, 13:40:04 UTC
I'm sorry you're not in a good place right now. I wish I could say something to make you feel better, but I know that's not how depression works.

And don't feel bad about your responses. If you thought that than so did someone else and it gives me the chance to put into words information that (as proven here) all readers didn't pick up on. That clarification is helpful and you force me to do it (so thank you).

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