Everything looks like a nail
It was the same thing each week.
She would wearily wait for her ride with the random weeks where her ride would surprise her and be early.
Dropped off at the same brown and tan building that read “Specialty Center” in white letters. That building is one she struggled to look at any other day of the week. The constant reminder of how her body was invaded and now a battle raged on inside. Her outward appearance was really starting to show the battle scars. The shiny perfect bald head was the obvious one but there was the lack of eyebrows not peaking over her glasses and the thinning face as well. Then the invisible ones like neuropathy that made her cry because she couldn’t use her hands like she used too. Her heart ached from the images of her son’s face after asking her to do something but she couldn’t because her hands hurt so bad.
It was the same walk to the elevators and she would sigh deeply and hit the button for the second floor.
Off the elevators and into the first door she saw. Before opening the door, another deep sigh and the voices in her head saying motivational slogans like YOU GOT THIS and the other voices saying deep dark thoughts like just let it kill you, this medicine is destroying you anyways , your body has failed you numerous ways in the past, just let yourself go already.
She opened the door and put on her biggest, most beautiful fake smile. She didn’t have a good poker face and the receptionists knew it but how many people did they see day in and day out with the same fake smile and battle raging on inside them as well.
She answered no to all the questions and joked about the last one.
“Have you been outside the country in the last 21 days?”
“No and when this is all done , I’m expecting one”
Inside her head, the motivational voices wept as the dark voices said just walk out and let this sickness run it’s course, you will get a forever. vacation then.
She sat down and made her goofy snap chat posts counting down the treatments and tried to use the comforting words on the phone screen to keep going, keep smiling even if it was fake and to push those negative thoughts and words deep down in the depths of her mind.
She wasn’t ready to nail her coffin shut yet.
......
Lj idol
Week 3