(no subject)
I've been in such a funk lately. I wake up every day wishing that I hadn't. Ugh, that sounds so dramatic. I don't mean it to be.
I wish I had more friends. After high school, I was so excited that a decent number of my friends were going to UIUC with me. However, within a week of school, it was pretty clear that we were headed in different directions. Nonetheless, I made new friends by joining groups and activities on campus. I made better friends, ones with whom I shared common interests rather than just a common hometown. It was also amongst this group of people that I met David, so that's kind of nice. I had a few years of hanging out with some cool people, and then I graduated. Once again, I was forced to find new friends as I moved back to the Chicagoland area, while my college friends did not.
I met some really cool people from working at Adapt in North Aurora. The only problem was that the suburbs were killing me. At first, I thought that living with my grandpa was just difficult, but moving in with my mom did not turn out much better. Turns out, David and I really needed a place of our own. So long story short, it is difficult to hang out with people when they live so far away.
Now I'm in a situation where I once again do not know very many people. Yes, I fully acknowledge that it is my fault because I am terrible at initiating social contact with people. However, after having gone through so many groups of friends, I feel like it has become more and more difficult to connect. Also, this past year of having few or no friends has had some seriously detrimental effects on my social skills.
I've also been having recurring dreams about my grandpa. Like, no matter what I'm dreaming about, it always ends with me just having a normal conversation with him and then coming to the realization that he's dead. It's really heartbreaking to have to experience over and over, especially when in my dreams, talking to him makes me seem to forget about it. Apparently even my brain is messing with me.
That is all, I suppose. This weekend was alright, although I did not do much. That's all I have to say. Okay, bye.
I wish I had more friends. After high school, I was so excited that a decent number of my friends were going to UIUC with me. However, within a week of school, it was pretty clear that we were headed in different directions. Nonetheless, I made new friends by joining groups and activities on campus. I made better friends, ones with whom I shared common interests rather than just a common hometown. It was also amongst this group of people that I met David, so that's kind of nice. I had a few years of hanging out with some cool people, and then I graduated. Once again, I was forced to find new friends as I moved back to the Chicagoland area, while my college friends did not.
I met some really cool people from working at Adapt in North Aurora. The only problem was that the suburbs were killing me. At first, I thought that living with my grandpa was just difficult, but moving in with my mom did not turn out much better. Turns out, David and I really needed a place of our own. So long story short, it is difficult to hang out with people when they live so far away.
Now I'm in a situation where I once again do not know very many people. Yes, I fully acknowledge that it is my fault because I am terrible at initiating social contact with people. However, after having gone through so many groups of friends, I feel like it has become more and more difficult to connect. Also, this past year of having few or no friends has had some seriously detrimental effects on my social skills.
I've also been having recurring dreams about my grandpa. Like, no matter what I'm dreaming about, it always ends with me just having a normal conversation with him and then coming to the realization that he's dead. It's really heartbreaking to have to experience over and over, especially when in my dreams, talking to him makes me seem to forget about it. Apparently even my brain is messing with me.
That is all, I suppose. This weekend was alright, although I did not do much. That's all I have to say. Okay, bye.