(no subject)
"Dude, you should be more positive:"
People tell me this alot lately.
So here goes:
The other day I was discussing Superbad with a friend. And she was saying how she felt really bad because one of the dudes got spit on. Once in Highschool I got spit on as well. Now spitting is gross. People that know me know that I find it fucking horrible. And if anyone were to spit on me these days I would most likely lose control and be sent to jail when the dust cleared. But in school it was different. I think I was maybe a freshman. At my school there were tons of retarded kids. And people would make them do fucked up stuff because A. it's funny. B. they're retarded and you can't punch them for it. C. they won't get in trouble because they're special.
So one day a group was getting this kid, who I will call Bob at the insistence of my legal team, to spit on people. So what happened? That's right, retarded Bob hocks a big 'ol loogie and spits on me. I can still picture it to this very day. And I couldn't do anything, he's retarded, right? You can't smash a retard against the heart shaped piece of lava rock that's inside Redmond High. But it always stuck with me, getting spit on. The horror. The horror...
So today I pull up to a stop light, and who do I see standing on the corner? Muthafuckin Retard Bob. And he's babbling to himself, wearing a helmet, and gesturing wildly at traffic. And I had a positive thought:
I got spit on, but at least I'm not a retard.
People tell me this alot lately.
So here goes:
The other day I was discussing Superbad with a friend. And she was saying how she felt really bad because one of the dudes got spit on. Once in Highschool I got spit on as well. Now spitting is gross. People that know me know that I find it fucking horrible. And if anyone were to spit on me these days I would most likely lose control and be sent to jail when the dust cleared. But in school it was different. I think I was maybe a freshman. At my school there were tons of retarded kids. And people would make them do fucked up stuff because A. it's funny. B. they're retarded and you can't punch them for it. C. they won't get in trouble because they're special.
So one day a group was getting this kid, who I will call Bob at the insistence of my legal team, to spit on people. So what happened? That's right, retarded Bob hocks a big 'ol loogie and spits on me. I can still picture it to this very day. And I couldn't do anything, he's retarded, right? You can't smash a retard against the heart shaped piece of lava rock that's inside Redmond High. But it always stuck with me, getting spit on. The horror. The horror...
So today I pull up to a stop light, and who do I see standing on the corner? Muthafuckin Retard Bob. And he's babbling to himself, wearing a helmet, and gesturing wildly at traffic. And I had a positive thought:
I got spit on, but at least I'm not a retard.