The Baby Deflector
It's too bad the pope died before he could exorcise the slacker in me.
I knew a few older people who were dismayed at the pope's death, not so much in a religious way but as if they were shocked. It's much the same way people are upset when a famous actor dies. Like they're going to miss seeing the pope go down the red carpet.
I think Im going to have to get a second job, and it's more than likely going to be a bartending gig. For the record, I loathe bartending around here because people here are cheap (and rightly so) and the male machismo is highly concentrated here. Really though, those are the only hours I can fit in with my current job.
I just bought a new car and my payments are a wee bit high on account of my awesomely crapulated credit. It's a myth that you cant completely destroy your credit without getting a credit card.
I kept the 90' Shadow so Carol can use it. That was the point really as it became hard to swing having one car between the two of us.
I do love my new car though. Is that really just an American thing? Loving your car? If so, that's kind of sad- I think you should love anything you have to spend that much money on.
It gets wonderful gas mileage, which is essential because here in New York the "cheap" shite is 2.44/gal.
Heinous. New York is such a rip off. I should move to Montana. Its basically the same thing, but cheaper and prettier...and faster.
People I know are starting to procreate. That really gives me the willies. I have some kind of a baby-phobia. I absolutely have no interest in holding your baby and truth be told my heart doesnt skip a beat when I see one. If I do manage a strained "Awwww" it's because I don't want you thinking that I think your baby is ugly. Shameful.
I like kids, though they generally tend to intimidate me. They're judgemental, in a good way I suppose. I once was forced to sit still and upright in a chair while my cousin's two daughters argued over whether I was prettier than Britney Spears. "She's almost prettier"..."Yeah but her hair looks too old." You can't really get into a sociopolitical conversation with them about how you might not want to be prettier than Britney Spears because you would be afraid that your face might explode and your boobs would melt if you stood by a microwave. It was cute anyway.
Clearly the Bushisms thing didnt work out. I don't think i could ever keep up with the amount of grammar raping he does every other day. But here is one of my favorites:
Bushisms:"I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe- I believe what I believe is right."
I knew a few older people who were dismayed at the pope's death, not so much in a religious way but as if they were shocked. It's much the same way people are upset when a famous actor dies. Like they're going to miss seeing the pope go down the red carpet.
I think Im going to have to get a second job, and it's more than likely going to be a bartending gig. For the record, I loathe bartending around here because people here are cheap (and rightly so) and the male machismo is highly concentrated here. Really though, those are the only hours I can fit in with my current job.
I just bought a new car and my payments are a wee bit high on account of my awesomely crapulated credit. It's a myth that you cant completely destroy your credit without getting a credit card.
I kept the 90' Shadow so Carol can use it. That was the point really as it became hard to swing having one car between the two of us.
I do love my new car though. Is that really just an American thing? Loving your car? If so, that's kind of sad- I think you should love anything you have to spend that much money on.
It gets wonderful gas mileage, which is essential because here in New York the "cheap" shite is 2.44/gal.
Heinous. New York is such a rip off. I should move to Montana. Its basically the same thing, but cheaper and prettier...and faster.
People I know are starting to procreate. That really gives me the willies. I have some kind of a baby-phobia. I absolutely have no interest in holding your baby and truth be told my heart doesnt skip a beat when I see one. If I do manage a strained "Awwww" it's because I don't want you thinking that I think your baby is ugly. Shameful.
I like kids, though they generally tend to intimidate me. They're judgemental, in a good way I suppose. I once was forced to sit still and upright in a chair while my cousin's two daughters argued over whether I was prettier than Britney Spears. "She's almost prettier"..."Yeah but her hair looks too old." You can't really get into a sociopolitical conversation with them about how you might not want to be prettier than Britney Spears because you would be afraid that your face might explode and your boobs would melt if you stood by a microwave. It was cute anyway.
Clearly the Bushisms thing didnt work out. I don't think i could ever keep up with the amount of grammar raping he does every other day. But here is one of my favorites:
Bushisms:"I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe- I believe what I believe is right."