Monster
When I was about 9-years-old I slowly realized I was not a neutral-gendered "kid" anymore. Perhaps it was the boy who kissed me being sent to gay camp for sharing his bed when I slept over. Perhaps it was my daddy's violent reaction to behavior that had previously been acceptable. Perhaps it was the new attacks leveled at me by fellow classmates, despite my efforts to stay out of their way. From that age forward there was a constant weight in my body that I could not explain or understand. I had always felt like a perfectly normal person; a little brainy perhaps, but not "wrong". I began to identify more and more with monsters.
I obsess over rockets, space and aliens. Although I know I'm probably the genuine offspring of my mother and father I still believe I might be an alien left here to observe and record the strange behaviors of this species called, "Humanity". This is slightly more comforting than believing I'm unable to fit into society.
I dress as a vampire for Halloween, my favorite monster at the time. Vampires are the only monsters not visibly recognizable. They look, sound and act like normal humans most of the time, fooling everyone around them until they strike. Their monstrosity is not the result of being unable to function in society, merely a fact of survival they are unable to choose.
I like werewolves for similar reasons, but fixate on the guilt of being unable to stop the transformation into a creature that society abhors. Unlike other monsters, they must revert back and live with the knowledge of what they really are.
Frankenstein's Monster (as seen in the book, not the movies) moves me with his eloquent observations of the shallow actions of humanity to condemn anything they cannot immediately understand. Despite his intelligence and significant implication for mortality he is hunted down for his appearance and the way he was born, not his actions.
Zombies quickly become a criticism of the mob mentality I observe through middle school and onward. What was once a vibrant city quickly turns into a mass of shambling brain-eating morons. With no true thoughts of their own they simply lash out at any living creature they see.
Satan, the ultimate "monster", gains a special place in my heart after reading Paradise Lost. A headstrong rebel who believes all should be equal, not ruled over by a privileged class. Despite being cast down into the most awful existence he still surmises,
"The mind is its own place, and in it self
Can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven."
Although I don't see myself as a monster anymore it gives me a strange sense of pride knowing something so "wrong" gave me such comfort. As I shared my feelings and learned others felt the same way I did, albeit from a different perspective, it dawned on me the reason these creatures were so popular is because we all feel a little monstrous sometimes. We all have beasts we try to hold at bay, sometimes for the better but most times for the worst. By learning to love monsters and recognize they're humanity we learn to love ourselves and others unconditionally.
I obsess over rockets, space and aliens. Although I know I'm probably the genuine offspring of my mother and father I still believe I might be an alien left here to observe and record the strange behaviors of this species called, "Humanity". This is slightly more comforting than believing I'm unable to fit into society.
I dress as a vampire for Halloween, my favorite monster at the time. Vampires are the only monsters not visibly recognizable. They look, sound and act like normal humans most of the time, fooling everyone around them until they strike. Their monstrosity is not the result of being unable to function in society, merely a fact of survival they are unable to choose.
I like werewolves for similar reasons, but fixate on the guilt of being unable to stop the transformation into a creature that society abhors. Unlike other monsters, they must revert back and live with the knowledge of what they really are.
Frankenstein's Monster (as seen in the book, not the movies) moves me with his eloquent observations of the shallow actions of humanity to condemn anything they cannot immediately understand. Despite his intelligence and significant implication for mortality he is hunted down for his appearance and the way he was born, not his actions.
Zombies quickly become a criticism of the mob mentality I observe through middle school and onward. What was once a vibrant city quickly turns into a mass of shambling brain-eating morons. With no true thoughts of their own they simply lash out at any living creature they see.
Satan, the ultimate "monster", gains a special place in my heart after reading Paradise Lost. A headstrong rebel who believes all should be equal, not ruled over by a privileged class. Despite being cast down into the most awful existence he still surmises,
"The mind is its own place, and in it self
Can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven."
Although I don't see myself as a monster anymore it gives me a strange sense of pride knowing something so "wrong" gave me such comfort. As I shared my feelings and learned others felt the same way I did, albeit from a different perspective, it dawned on me the reason these creatures were so popular is because we all feel a little monstrous sometimes. We all have beasts we try to hold at bay, sometimes for the better but most times for the worst. By learning to love monsters and recognize they're humanity we learn to love ourselves and others unconditionally.