The end is nigh and stuff
So, I had a rude awakening today at the bank. I made a deposit, and then decided I should double-check my checking balance. I asked for a statement, got it...and then I stared at it. I stared some more. I actually contemplated giving it back and saying something like, "Um...what?" I kind of thought it wasn't mine, or it was for a different account of mine or SOMEthing, anything other than what it was.
By that time I wanted to go, "Wait, are you SERIOUS?!!!!! Is this ALL I have left in my account!?!?!?!?!?"
But I didn't. I kept my mouth shut..and got really depressed. This job I've been working, this awesome welding job. Well, I've known all along that it wasn't going to cover all my bills, that sooner or later something would have to change, that I'd have to start really selling some art, or I'd have to get some other kind of additional work or, well, I don't really know what, just something.
It appears time has come for that something. The end of my fiscal responsibility is nigh if I don't do something real quick. Sure, I have some savings, but I don't want to sponge all that away just to keep this jerry-rigged life working for another couple months - and let's make no mistake about it, a couple months is all it would cover.
So, time for decisions. Time for depressing decisions. I can't keep working at the shop. It'll break me, I'll wind up homeless and with a terrible credit rating, and, frankly, most of me just doesn't want to deal with the hassle of trying to sell all of my belongings one at a time on Craigslist.
What to do? Honestly, I'm sorta clueless. Get a different job, that's pretty obvious, but doing what? I think at this point I'd be willing to give pro wrestling a shot if it paid well enough. Sure, I'd probably destroy my already screwed-up shoulder in the first season, but I think if I made a good enough go of it that one season I could probably parlay the residuals into some kind of workable part-time income for some years to come.
Seeing as how that's not likely, I...I'm at a loss, honestly. I guess it's going to be cube life again for me. Remember how awesome that was, gang? Well, I do not. I remember that it sucked, and although part of that suckiness drove me to write shit-tons of fiction during spare work hours as well as discovering this little corner of the web-o-sphere which introduced me to some truly fabulous people, well, the work/job itself just sort of ate my soul with salt and pepper.
But back I will go if I must. I'm not giving my hard-earned shizzle away just because I find work distasteful. This honestly is depressing the crap outta me, because what I really want to do is make art and write for a living. Since no one has an exact business set up that will enable me to suddenly and abruptly move my life into self-employment via art, I'm left to figure it out on my own, and apparently I've just figured out that one cannot live on a part-time job that pays half of my necessary monthly income and expect that somehow art is going to magically get produced in large enough numbers to cover the rest of the money that's not being made.
Oh, and I got a really nice belt sander last Friday. It's really nice. Really. Now I feel like an idiot for spending the money on it, but at least that money was cash out of pocket and not something I withdrew from the bank.
Someday, somehow, some way - THIS WILL WORK OUT! I WILL MAKE IT HAPPEN, DAMMIT!
Just not this week, apparently.
Balls to that.
By that time I wanted to go, "Wait, are you SERIOUS?!!!!! Is this ALL I have left in my account!?!?!?!?!?"
But I didn't. I kept my mouth shut..and got really depressed. This job I've been working, this awesome welding job. Well, I've known all along that it wasn't going to cover all my bills, that sooner or later something would have to change, that I'd have to start really selling some art, or I'd have to get some other kind of additional work or, well, I don't really know what, just something.
It appears time has come for that something. The end of my fiscal responsibility is nigh if I don't do something real quick. Sure, I have some savings, but I don't want to sponge all that away just to keep this jerry-rigged life working for another couple months - and let's make no mistake about it, a couple months is all it would cover.
So, time for decisions. Time for depressing decisions. I can't keep working at the shop. It'll break me, I'll wind up homeless and with a terrible credit rating, and, frankly, most of me just doesn't want to deal with the hassle of trying to sell all of my belongings one at a time on Craigslist.
What to do? Honestly, I'm sorta clueless. Get a different job, that's pretty obvious, but doing what? I think at this point I'd be willing to give pro wrestling a shot if it paid well enough. Sure, I'd probably destroy my already screwed-up shoulder in the first season, but I think if I made a good enough go of it that one season I could probably parlay the residuals into some kind of workable part-time income for some years to come.
Seeing as how that's not likely, I...I'm at a loss, honestly. I guess it's going to be cube life again for me. Remember how awesome that was, gang? Well, I do not. I remember that it sucked, and although part of that suckiness drove me to write shit-tons of fiction during spare work hours as well as discovering this little corner of the web-o-sphere which introduced me to some truly fabulous people, well, the work/job itself just sort of ate my soul with salt and pepper.
But back I will go if I must. I'm not giving my hard-earned shizzle away just because I find work distasteful. This honestly is depressing the crap outta me, because what I really want to do is make art and write for a living. Since no one has an exact business set up that will enable me to suddenly and abruptly move my life into self-employment via art, I'm left to figure it out on my own, and apparently I've just figured out that one cannot live on a part-time job that pays half of my necessary monthly income and expect that somehow art is going to magically get produced in large enough numbers to cover the rest of the money that's not being made.
Oh, and I got a really nice belt sander last Friday. It's really nice. Really. Now I feel like an idiot for spending the money on it, but at least that money was cash out of pocket and not something I withdrew from the bank.
Someday, somehow, some way - THIS WILL WORK OUT! I WILL MAKE IT HAPPEN, DAMMIT!
Just not this week, apparently.
Balls to that.