(no subject)
just got back from china, which was pretty bloody amazing. waking up in abandoned army barracks surrounded by mountains with the sun rising over them, the great wall silloueted along the top... pretty magic. i've tried to put pictures on but i can't work out how...
however, i have just got to uni, for my first year, and i wanna go home. tis tragic, but true. my flat is really nice, but flat mates are truly horrible. also, everyone seems really young, like really excited by the thought of going out and getting pissed, when i kinda feel i've got all that out my system. i've met a few people but i miss the solidarity and dependability of my real friends so much. and its not evesn like if i went home it would be like before, because everyone's gone to uni. i also know someone here from my hometown, who i seem to get on with really well, but my paranoid (and often accurate) self-doubting side thinks hes avoiding me now. i've been phoning all my friends and family, like, three times a day, but i end up having to make excuses cos i keep almost bursting into tears. everyone else seems to be settling in just fine, and i don't wanna bring them down.
i guess it'll get better when i actually start my course, as i'll be meeting people similar to me, and i'll hopefully enjoy the work i have to do. i just feel kinda lame and pathetic that i'm hating freshers week, when all around me people seem to be having the time of their lives.
however, i have just got to uni, for my first year, and i wanna go home. tis tragic, but true. my flat is really nice, but flat mates are truly horrible. also, everyone seems really young, like really excited by the thought of going out and getting pissed, when i kinda feel i've got all that out my system. i've met a few people but i miss the solidarity and dependability of my real friends so much. and its not evesn like if i went home it would be like before, because everyone's gone to uni. i also know someone here from my hometown, who i seem to get on with really well, but my paranoid (and often accurate) self-doubting side thinks hes avoiding me now. i've been phoning all my friends and family, like, three times a day, but i end up having to make excuses cos i keep almost bursting into tears. everyone else seems to be settling in just fine, and i don't wanna bring them down.
i guess it'll get better when i actually start my course, as i'll be meeting people similar to me, and i'll hopefully enjoy the work i have to do. i just feel kinda lame and pathetic that i'm hating freshers week, when all around me people seem to be having the time of their lives.