The Story of Us [3/?]
Genre: AU Romance
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: GTOP
Disclaimer: They will never be ours (sigh)
Warnings: Language, fluff, sexual situations
Summary: "There is no end. There is no beginning. There is only the passion of life." - Federico Fellini.
They say not all who wander are lost, and that no man is an island. This is the story of Jiyong and Seunghyun. Two men brought together by chance. Two men who will change each other's lives forever.
This is the story of us.
JIYONG
“Holy fucking shit!”
I sucked in huge lungfuls of air, wide-eyed and drowning in waves of panic. I didn’t know if I’d dreamt the horrible noise that had ripped me from the dark depths of unconsciousness, or if it had issued from the strange man sitting next to me on the floor. My perception of everything was warped. My grasp on space and sound, or reality in general, oscillated between crystal clarity and the muted disorientation of being underwater. There was a crackling pop from the fireplace and it resounded in my ears like a gunshot. I flinched and my heart seized, panic only escalating beyond what I was capable of enduring when the man coughed, fist held over his mouth.
Instinct kicked in and my panic teetered on the edge of hysteria. I scrambled backward, limbs sluggish and muscles throbbing. My spine collided painfully with the arm of the couch and that fist unfurled, reaching out towards me, beseeching and terrifying both.
“Wait,” he gasped. “Jiyong!”
I froze, the multitude of thoughts racing through my head tripping over one another in a confused mess. What the fuck was going on?
“Don’t- please, just wait. I found you passed out behind my cabin and brought you inside.” The man let his arm drop with a sigh. “My name is Seunghyun.”
I remained mute and struggled to regulate my breathing. Memories of the harrowing journey that had brought me here flashed through my mind in fragments. How many hours had I been walking? I couldn’t remember. It all sort of blurred together into one massive montage of stupidity and exhaustion. And now I was here, face to face with my bearded hero. I gazed at Seunghyun, still trying to orient myself. His dark hair was shaggy, unkempt, like he hadn’t combed it in days. The scruff sprouting from his chin was so sad I almost laughed.
“Your facial hair is fucking pathetic.”
It would seem that what little filter I normally possessed of my thoughts had vanished without a trace. I hadn’t meant for those to be the first words out of my mouth, but they were. And I wasn’t about to swallow them now.
“Um... okay.” Seunghyun’s eyes darted away and he shifted, uneasy. “How are you feeling? You had a fever earlier, but-”
“How do you know my name?” I cut him off, not particularly interested in my physical health at the moment.
“I found your ID in your jacket after I put you into some dry clothes.”
I blinked, initially angry that he had gone through my shit while I was passed out on his floor until I felt the evidence of soft cotton brushing over my thighs. A seething indignation swelled inside of my chest at the thought of his hands on my body and I clenched my jaw until my teeth ached. It was ridiculous, I knew. Seunghyun had rescued me and I owed him more than my sarcastic remarks and animosity. But I couldn’t help it.
“You took my fucking clothes off?” Irritation made my tone sharp, but I didn’t yell. “And you didn’t even have the decency to buy me dinner first.”
“I’m sorry, but you were wearing blue jeans in the middle of Alaska in winter, and your clothes were soaked.” He huffed and crossed his arms. “If I hadn’t taken them off, you could have died.”
“Yeah well maybe you should have saved yourself the trouble and let me fucking rot where I fell,” I muttered, drawing my knees up to my chest.
Looking over at The Bearded Wonder, I was surprised to find bewilderment written on the planes of his face. There were traces of sadness in his eyes and it made me uncomfortable.
“I wouldn’t- I would never do that.”
The quiet vehemence in Seunghyun’s voice inspired a pang of regret. I was being a dick. He wasn’t yet familiar with my penchant for self-loathing and it was unfair to inflict it upon him without warning. Plus his obvious horror at the idea of someone wanting to die just totally awarded me all of the asshole points. How I ever managed to remain friends with anyone was beyond me.
We sort of, stared, at one another then. Like we couldn’t really figure out how we’d gotten ourselves into this situation, even though all the facts were there. Like we wanted to trust each other but hadn’t found a reason. I could sense Seunghyun’s wariness, his shoulders tense despite the calm of his speech.
“So...how are you feeling?”
“You want the full rundown or the cliffs notes?” I propped my chin on my knee and gazed blankly at the wall.
Everything was still fuzzy. My anger had subsided and now I felt impossibly heavy. I closed my eyes, resisting the pull of sleep as best I could.
“I just need to know if you think you could take a ten mile snowmobile ride into town. North Pole’s got the closest hospital.”
My eyes popped open and I watched Seunghyun pick himself up from the floor to walk over to the window. Was he fucking serious? I had literally just woken up from a brush with death and he wanted me to go back out there, on a goddamn snowmobile, for a ten mile jaunt into town. This was insane. My initial reaction might have been to flee, but like hell I was going to leave this couch until I’d regained some semblance of equilibrium. Seunghyun sighed, his posture slightly hunched.
“Well, we’re not going anywhere now,” he muttered wryly.
“Why?”
“Whiteout,” he said, indicating the the frozen universe waiting just outside the cold glass. “I know the trails and roads pretty well, but not enough to chance getting us lost in a snowstorm.”
And thank fuck for that. I didn’t know if I was relieved or pissed off. Because the idea of being trapped in a cabin with a straight-laced recluse for any amount of time just sounded like an alternate version of hell. At least I wouldn’t have to abandon the warmth of the fireplace, which is really all that mattered right now. I craned my neck, attempting to see out the window from my position on the couch.
“Do you think we’ll be stuck for a while?”
“It’s a quarter past noon right now. If the storm lets up before five I might be able to run you into town.” Seunghyun turned away from the window, sparing me half of an awkward glance before wandering back. “The sun starts setting around then. Otherwise, I hope you don’t mind staying overnight.”
Wouldn’t that be lovely. I shifted on the cushions, tucking my legs underneath me and pulling the blankets up over my chest. An unexpected shiver grabbed hold of my body and I rubbed roughly at my arms. Seunghyun eyed me with a little less caution, something akin to concern flickering over his face. There was a fluttering sensation in my stomach.
“I’ve got tea in the kitchen. Or some soup, if you feel up to eating.”
“Tea sounds like the best option right now.” I offered him a tight smile in thanks.
Nodding, he disappeared from the living room into what I safely assumed was the kitchen. I listened to the muffled noises of squeaky cabinets and the clank of hollow metal. Seunghyun’s long, tired sigh filtered in through the open door and I bit down on my lip. Was he annoyed by the way I’d interrupted his life? The way I had put a wrench into the cogs of his routine. I imagined he was more concerned with getting rid of me than with how I was feeling. And I couldn’t really blame him. My brain and my tongue had never been very skilled at communicating with each other, the wires always crossed or disconnected entirely. Most people disregarded me as a jackass, but it was obvious that Seunghyun hadn’t spent too much time around other human beings. Why was I even worried about how he regarded me? It’s not like I was fucking moving in. And the concept of that ever becoming a reality almost sent me spiraling into another panic attack.
I was so lost in my own head that I failed to detect Seunghyun’s return until a piping hot mug of tea appeared directly under my nose. Did he ever speak unless he was spoken to first? Because he just gazed down at me with a carefully blank look on his face while I kind of gaped at him. Fuck, his eyes were pretty. Why hadn’t I noticed that before? Seunghyun raised one of his thick, curving eyebrows and I inhaled sharply, curling my hands around the mug. My fingertips grazed his knuckles as he withdrew and the shock of physical contact, of touching warm skin, resonated so deeply you’d think I was the one who had abandoned civilization to go live in the woods.
“Thanks,” I mumbled, blowing on the tea out of habit even though I knew it wouldn’t really help.
Seunghyun stayed silent and moved to crouch on the floor next to his makeshift bedding, gathering the blankets to fold them. It was actually sort of sweet that he’d slept so close. I felt another pang of regret for acting like such an idiot. And then I scowled, because who fucking cared. I mean, really. He wasn’t my best friend and I wasn’t suited for giving a shit. Besides, that role was already filled by two jerks who, by now, were most likely having a collective nervous breakdown over my vanishing act. This constant back and forth between distress and apathy was starting to give me a headache. Prolonged exposure to the cold must have knocked more than a few screws loose.
I took a delicate sip of the hot liquid, the fragrant brew burning my throat with a disgustingly familiar piquancy. Why the fuck did it have to be ginger tea? Hadn’t I suffered enough? I grimaced and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand.
“Too hot?” Seunghyun glanced over at me, pile of blankets in hand.
“You actually drink this shit?”
“...Yes? It’s good for you.” He frowned.
“God, why does all the healthy bullshit have to taste like death.”
“How can you be Korean and not like ginger tea? Didn’t your mom ever make this stuff for you when you were sick as a kid?”
“I think that’s exactly why I don’t like it. Being force-fed anything as a child has essentially put me off for life.”
“I can make you some green tea, if you want. Or black. Take your pick.”
“If it’s not too much trouble? Black tea would be perfect.”
Seunghyun dropped the mound of blankets on the floor, running a hand through his messy hair.
“Sugar?”
“Please.”
“Cream?”
I restrained myself from rolling my eyes. At this rate I’d garner the nickname “princess” without him even knowing there had been a precedent for it. Instead, I laughed, bitter and maybe even a little embarrassed.
“No.” I cleared my throat, looking down at the wasted tea in my hands. “Thank you. Again.”
Without uttering a word, Seunghyun stepped forward to reclaim the cup, removing it from my hands as roughly as he could without spilling anything. Talk about passive-aggressive. I shoved my index finger between my teeth and began gnawing on the nail. Goddamn, I needed a cigarette. Something told me that wasn’t going to fly with The Bearded Wonder.
“I appreciate it. Really.”
“No problem.”
“Is it cool if I smoke?” I tried to sound apologetic before he shot me down.
The flash of disappointment in Seunghyun’s eyes as he shook his head told me this was going to be a recurring problem. He could judge me all he liked. But I was going to be much less of a pain in the ass if I managed even a semi-regular dosage of nicotine and carcinogens.
“Not in the house, sorry.”
“Figured I’d ask.”
Shrugging, I drank from my cup and debated which experience would be the least traumatizing: Denying myself the satisfaction of a cigarette and staying warm, or braving the biting cold to ensure there would be no further loss of sanity. Seunghyun finished tidying up the living room floor while I waged war in my head, and then he disappeared into another part of the house. In the end, sanity emerged as the victor, so I slid out from my nest on the couch to find my jacket and my boots. I was sure he would have given me a disapproving frown, which only served to spur me on.
Mug of tea in hand, I braced myself for the unsympathetic elements and opened the front door. Jesus christ. My eyebrows shot upward as I stared at a moving wall of white. Seunghyun hadn’t been fucking kidding. Groaning, I mustered the courage to step out onto the landing and shut the door behind me. Already thick flakes of snow attacked every inch of me and I hurried to pull the smashed yellow pack from my pocket. The wind whipped at my hood and the thin fabric of Seunghyun’s pajama pants and I wondered why the fuck I wasn’t wearing any gloves. Fingers numb, it took me seven attempts to light my cigarette, an act made all the more difficult by the presence of the ceramic cup. I should have left it inside, it wasn’t even hot anymore.
This was an awful idea. The curling smoke in my lungs felt amazing but that was where sensation stopped. I took a deep drag, blinking snowflakes from my lashes. There was no way in hell the storm had any intention of quitting before sunset, which meant that I would have to stay here until morning. I coughed and gulped down the rest of my tea. Scanning Seunghyun’s property, or what little of it I could make out through the blizzard, I decided that there were definitely worse fates.
I flicked the half-smoked cigarette into the howling wind and ducked back into the house. Seunghyun had just re-entered the living room and he paused, looking at my pathetic ass with lips quirked downward. He snorted, trying to hold back his laughter.
“I’m sorry, it’s just... Um, how’s the weather looking?”
I leveled him with an unamused glower. Was he being a dick on purpose now?
“Do you seriously need me to answer that?” I gestured to the heavy layer of snow that I’d brought with me from outside, the hem of my pants dripping water onto the floor.
Shaking his head, Seunghyun chuckled. The sound was unexpected, and regardless of my current distaste for existence in general, it was...nice.
“I’ll be right back,” he sighed, disappearing yet again.
The allure of his low, throaty timbre had not been lost on me. I’d merely been doing my best to avoid thinking about it altogether because I was worried I’d let it get to me. In the way that most small details of people I was attracted to got to me. Like Mackenzie’s hands. His fucking marvelous tattooed fingers, soft and gentle and talented. I squeezed my eyes shut and shook my head. Stop.
That’s when my brain stuttered. I was attracted to Seunghyun? No. Absolutely not.
The man in question reappeared with a fresh pair of sleep pants in hand and I blushed so hard he probably thought I’d gone feverish again. There was humor twinkling in his dark gaze, though he struggled to contain it as he extended the article of clothing.
“You really didn’t have to do that,” I mumbled and took the pajama pants.
In exchange, Seunghyun grabbed my empty tea cup and gave me a ghost of a smile.
“It’s no problem.”
“Uh, bathroom?” I asked, shrugging my jacket off and stepping out of my boots.
“Through there.” He jerked his thumb behind him, towards the door he’d been coming and going from all day.
“Thanks.”
Of all the things to happen then, we shared the intensely graceless moment of stepping in the same direction at the same time. I collided roughly into Seunghyun’s shoulder and his free hand latched onto my arm to steady me. My senses nearly exploded as I breathed to calm my runaway heart. He smelled of cedar and smoke. Warm and earthy. I wanted to sway forward into his body, to dive into the heady scent, but Seunghyun stepped back. It was almost like coming down from an intensely satisfying high. My head swam and my nerves tingled. It required serious effort to use my tongue for the purpose of speech.
“Sorry,” I whispered.
Seunghyun’s rumbling hum of acknowledgment contributed to the fuzz in my head and I escaped to the bathroom before I fell victim to more idiocy. I focused on the residual pressure where his fingers had sunk into my bicep, the skin pulsing faintly, and leaned against the wall. What the actual fuck. Exhaling slowly, my concentration derailed as I noticed, with some surprise, how massive the bathroom was. And it was modern, which clashed with my perception of the cliche “cabin in the woods” motif. Custom tile was laid over the floor and the walls, a large marble countertop abutted the glass partition that served as the shower curtain, and there was even a floating shower bench. It looked like it had been lifted directly from a catalogue. Clearly Seunghyun lived a relatively comfortable existence if he could afford something as swank as this.
Shuffling to the sink, I turned the faucet on, splashing cool water over my face. This was not how I’d anticipated spending my great Alaskan adventure. I wished that I had never left the stupid fucking campsite in the first place. Not that I wasn’t grateful for Seunghyun’s help, but this was turning into so much more than I bargained for when I’d agreed to rough it for a week in the Alaskan wilderness. I still wanted to punch myself for saying yes.
I lifted my head, glaring at my reflection in the mirror. I looked like shit. Worse than that, even. Like I’d been tossed down a fucking mountain. There was a small cut above my left eyebrow and I hadn’t the slightest clue where it’d come from. A few bruises were forming, one blooming just under the neckline of my shirt. The others I couldn’t see but I could sure as hell feel them. Shutting off the faucet, I pushed away from the sink and changed into the new pair of pants. Hopefully Seunghyun didn’t think I’d gotten lost in here too.
Unsure what to do with the wet pajamas, I folded them and placed them on the floor next to the couch. Seunghyun appeared out of nowhere and I jumped, lips clamped tight around a pitiful yelp.
“You need to stop doing that.” I narrowed my eyes.
“Sorry. I’m not used to having company.” He rubbed the back of his neck and stared at the floor. “If you could hand me those...”
“Oh, yeah, sorry,” I mumbled, picking up the folded pants. “I think I’m gonna take a nap, if that’s all right.”
“Sure, yeah. That’s probably a good idea. I’ll wake you up around five. That’s where I’ll be.” Seunghyun pointed at the loft space above the bathroom. “If you need anything.”
I nodded and started walking away, not realizing I was still holding the pajama pants, twisting the fabric in my hands. I glanced down, jerked to a stop, and sighed. Pivoting on my heel, I pushed the bunched up fabric into Seunghyun’s arms. Sleep was definitely a good idea. I was turning into more of an imbecile by the minute. Without even looking at him, I retreated to the couch and crawled under the tangle of blankets, praying that the next few hours would feel like nothing.
Part Two