I DID IT!!!
Woooohoooooo! = )
My day at work ended at 2:00pm.
I was home at 2:25pm and looking forward to my transgendered group meeting coming up at 7:00pm.
As I was opening the door to my apartment, I was struck by a thought....What if I want to tonights meeting em femme? I was momentarily staggered by the implications of that thought. Was I actually suggesting to myself that I get dressed and made up and prettied as a woman? That I was even considering it was amazing but the strength of the feeling could not be ignored. The time was right. I was going to do it.....
15 minutes later....or was I? LOL =)
I started to lay out some things on my bed. Was I going to do this? I laid out my control top stockings. Then my waist cincher, my bumm shaper, my bra and my breast enhancers....was I going to do this?
Panic attack!!!! I called one of the members of my group and told her that I wanted to dress for tonight. She thought it was a great idea as long as I was ready. We talked some more. She said, dressed en femme or in boy mode, I want you to come to the meeting. Set yourself a deadline and if you aren't dressed en femme by 6:00, just get dressed and come to the meeting. Ok, I can do that.
I looked at myself. I was hairy, eeeewwwwwwwww!!!! Yukkies! That would have to go! Am I doing this? I asked myself as I got the Nair and the timer and some extra towels. I pinned up my hair and jumped into the bathtub and covered my entire body in Nair. I mean everything. I removed it and washed thoroughly and then washed my hair and shaved my face as close as I could get. I realized that I really was going to do it when I went through this entire process with almost no hot water and only a trickle of pressure. I was either getting dressed to go out or crazy...or both. LOL
I got dried off and realized that it might be raining when I walked from my apartment to the center where the meetings are held. I got dressed in boy clothes and ran to the market and bought an umbrella. I ran back home, stripped off the boy clothes and started getting ready.
Hair - Goop and blowdrying....
Underclothes - Bumm shaper, panties, cincher, bra and panty hose on.
Makeup - Took my time. Didn't bother with eye liner. When I go full time, I am sooo getting permanent eyeliner put on. foundation, powder, blush....eye shadow, purple accents with plum general coverage, lip liner, lipstick....wow, I was amazed. It went so smoothly.
Clothes - Skirt, I cahnged my mind about the shirt I was wearing in mid-stream. It's a woman's right to change her mind. And my boots.
I looked in my mirror. Wow, I was ready. 6:10....
Panic attack #2 - Called my friend Torra but she was busy. Called my group friend. She encouraged me and said she'd see me there. Was I going to walk out the door?
I turned everything off.
I went to the door.
I was going to do it.
Suddenly the door was opening. I walked out into the hall. Omg! People will see me!
I locked the door. I had my leather coat on with some money, my phone, my ID and my visa in a zipped inside pocket. I had my cute little evening purse with my makeup and brushes. I was out the door, dressed as the real me and I was as ready as I would ever be. I went doen the stairs and out of the building. I was outside!! I was soooo afraid and nervous. I started to walk one way and made it about 20 feet. Then I realized I wanted to go the other way. I walked down the hill and right by people. I was watchful but not agressive, not meeting anyone's eyes. I walked all the way to the meeting. I walked by tons of people and no one seemed to care. It couldn't be this easy.
We had a good meeting though there were a lot of us.
Everyone said I looked really good and the friend that I called said I'd done really well. I was nervous but the compliments were making me realize that I was ok.
My firend and our facilitator, her SO, and a few of us went out to dinner afterwards. We had so much fun.
I loved my evening. It was all wonderful! =)
I got home at 12:25am and cleaned up.
I had to write this before I could sleep though. I wanted to get all the important parts down and share them with Torra and anyone else that reads it.
I made some new friends tonight I think.
I had so much fun.
I can't wait to do it again.
*hugs*
GD