Alone
Hi All,
I guess this is going to be my first time that I really cry about things.
I feel so alone.
I've told you about TM and my feelings for her.
I'd managed to let go so well. Then last Thursday she called me. She told me how much she missed me and loved me. She told me that she was going to arrange to come out here to Seattle and we were going to be together. She talked about how awesome the sex would be, not that sex matters to me very much. I just want her. I want her for her laugh and so many other reasons. Sex almost seems trivial to me in light of all that she offers.
But I haven't heard from her since.
I hurt so much. I hurt as much as I did when she broke it off the first time. I feel so very broken and alone.
The thing that is the most sad is that I have accomplished so many good things lately. Things that are so good for me. It all seems so unimportant now.
For the last couple of days, I've been able to do nothing but go to work and come home and be down. I can't get myself to do anything good. I'm depressed and my eating has been out of control. I haven't done yoga in a couple of days now. I didn't go to my group session tonight.
I feel so powerless.
It's almost like I have to start getting over her again from the very beginning. And all over one phone call and the nice things we talked about.
I just want to cry again.
I have no one to talk to about it.
No one at all.
I feel so alone.
GD