Love Note
Dear Guy Behind me on the Ramp onto the Beltway today,
Sir, as I was trying to get on the beltway at 123 this morning, you and your dented-ass car were behind me. I want to thank you for your vigorous gestures and shouting. First of all, they alerted me to the fact that we were at a dead stop. The movement of my car (or lack there of) would have never gotten through to me. Second, I'm a little curious as to what you were yelling. As close as I could tell, it was something between "This is the Beltway! Why are you stopping!" and "Ghurhteiutgh grjhtieuh dfgsdhrfeu!" See, you were behind me and your windows were up. If you wanted me to hear you, you failed.
Finally, I'm curious as to what you hoped to accomplish with the gestures and yelling. Were you hoping to perform some Harry-Potter-esque spell to make your car fly? Were you hoping to make all the other cars go away? Or, perhaps, were you trying to convince me to drive through the car in front of me?
Yes, here is where I'm going to share a secret with you; there was a car in front of me. It was just as stopped as you and I were. Though nothing would give me as much happiness as getting my car the hell away from yours, that wasn't going to happen just then.
Seriously, man, I hope you get laid soon.
Love always,
Lauren.
Sir, as I was trying to get on the beltway at 123 this morning, you and your dented-ass car were behind me. I want to thank you for your vigorous gestures and shouting. First of all, they alerted me to the fact that we were at a dead stop. The movement of my car (or lack there of) would have never gotten through to me. Second, I'm a little curious as to what you were yelling. As close as I could tell, it was something between "This is the Beltway! Why are you stopping!" and "Ghurhteiutgh grjhtieuh dfgsdhrfeu!" See, you were behind me and your windows were up. If you wanted me to hear you, you failed.
Finally, I'm curious as to what you hoped to accomplish with the gestures and yelling. Were you hoping to perform some Harry-Potter-esque spell to make your car fly? Were you hoping to make all the other cars go away? Or, perhaps, were you trying to convince me to drive through the car in front of me?
Yes, here is where I'm going to share a secret with you; there was a car in front of me. It was just as stopped as you and I were. Though nothing would give me as much happiness as getting my car the hell away from yours, that wasn't going to happen just then.
Seriously, man, I hope you get laid soon.
Love always,
Lauren.