so much for summer...

[gazingatstars]

first day at the beach...burned in random places.
working far too many hours for the pay be considered even slightly...worth it.
reminders of the past and creators of my future...constant reminders of how open ended my life it.
not knowing where i'm going...never knowing where i will end up...scary.
i love my life...i hate my life.
things are changing over time...so slowly i almost think i am missing it.
hints here and there of things...i am responsible for, and should have done differently.
i want to live my life on my terms...with support from everyone around me...something that apparently comes at a high cost.
disapointing and upsetting friends and family over how i live my life...me being me...hurts me more and more everytime i am reminded.
someday things will work out...someday i'll be what i want to be and have all the things i want in my life.
for now...the road of 'settlization' is my path to all things good to come.
i hope.