Resting
God. It's like I'm going one minute, thinking I've found a restful spot, and then the next its mayhem, chaos, and I'm that girl, the bitter angry girl again. I hate that he has to suffer like this, and I have to watch, and what I do just blows up in my face. I hate that despite getting better, I fall back to the old angry person I was, but I guess, in a way, I can't protect everyone like I want to anymore. I miss Sensei, I miss Kimi, I miss Tonks, I miss knowing what it was like not having to worry about stuff.
Jesus, I'm just tired. Sometimes I don't want to play these parts anymore. Thinking about what he goes through everyday, trying to think about what we can do for the pact, trying to protect him, putting up the front that I'm still that girl I'm not anymore.
Shit. I think I want someone to take care of me.
That's just pathetic.