Oh brother... or should that be sister.
WARNING! Insane ramblings to follow.
I'm just not sure if I'm talking about mine or hers.
So, Mom got a Facebook message from... Kelly. Yes, you're reading that correctly. Kelly. Kelly Renee Collier, to be exact. You know, my half-sister by way of my worthless druggie biological (but no longer LEGAL) father. Kelly, who is in no way shape or form related to my mother. And, who, contrary to both Kelly and John's beliefs, gives no thought to them (or the rest of that family,) unless they're brought up by someone else (or they send her messages.) Why would she? He's some guy she dated 45 years ago and rest are nothing to her at all.
January 12, 2011 at 1:56am
Subject: here goes nothing
Hi there, I'll start off by just saying hello and i hope you still don't hate me for whatever reason you used to. At least hate me for something I did or didn't do. But We were pretty good tight nit sisters to Gayle. I know she quarreled with Steph and Golda but so what. Sister's do that. I used to kid and joke alot and gayle would get so serious about everything but that is who I am...lighthearted. We all are grown women and we all think about her lots and wish she was with us many many times. Life is short and we are a bunch of awesome sisters with sarcastic personalities that look just like her. I understand all about getting caught up in the upset and anger of parent all too well. I really got JIPPED on both of mine..trust me know. But if it is all possible could you please have it in your heart to suggest to Gayle that we are her sisters and we sure always thought the world of her. She always seemed very influenced by your anger. I hope and pray you have enough goodness in you to help me do something really nice for all of us and assist me in reuniting us girls so that we can be friends and enjoy each other and our children in our 40's. It would be very kind of you for all people involved. Nothing heavy...just good sisters. Stephanie is a teacher with 3 children Caitln 16, markie 11, Christian 7 and a great husband named Mark. Cassia is a business owner with two daughters named Gabrielle 8 and Christiana 6, JA has two children SAGE 8 and LILY 3, Golda is pregnant 2 months long, Cora goes to school, Marcus is severely autistic 17 lives in Hawaii and I am married to a great guy named Jerry(she met him) and we have a son named Jaden 6. My daughter Alexandria is 19 and her dad Christian tragically died 2 yrs ago . My grandma Collier is doing well at 85 and I have cleaned up the farm and she lives better than she ever has. Cousin Kerry is expecting a son with her significant other any day now. Please tell Gayle....we miss her. My # is 408-830-4681 and she is and has always been my sister and a good one that I relied upon for many years for her moral support. I care very much about her and would like to see her again. thank you for any help KC
I'm not sure if I should roll my eyes, stick my finger down my throat or snicker loudly. Well, okay, truth be told my first reaction was to laugh so loud that Bill came out of his cube to find out what the hell was going on. I don't know if she's just stupid or delusional.
1. I've lived in the same spot for almost 14 years. She's spent the night there, she showed up announced and unexpected just five years ago. So, really, if she was trying so desperately to get a hold of me that might have been a good place to start. Just saying....
2. Same phone number. Same as 14 years ago. Same as 5 years ago. Same was last week. Same. Yes, I call screen (okay, technically, I don't even know where my phone is, but Vonage emails me my voicemail and I do get around to listening to it eventually.)
3. Same email address. Really, I still have that AOL account I've had all along. And yes, I blocked her email address years ago, but we all know how easy it is to get another address. Just look at the 15 extra Facebook accounts I have playing Farmville.
4. Facebook. Umm, I'm one of Mom's friends on Facebook. Says my name right there. If you can find Mom, you can find me.
5. The letter itself. Sending me insulting letters about my mother didn't work for her grandparents when I was 15, does she really think that's the way to persuade me now?
6. Raise your hand if you have ever known me to change my mind/opinion about something/someone because someone else wanted me to (especially Mom.)
7. She confuses serious with annoyed. Yes, I admit, I was not amused with the drug use or the jokes about drug use or how great she thought she was for manipulating her ex-husband and screwing up his relationships (you know, the one that died "tragically.") What can I say, I have no sense of humor. *heavy sigh, winsome gaze out the window*
8. She also confuses lighthearted with manipulative and slutty.
9. Not to mention confusing completely disinterested with anger. Honest to God, I really don't know where they keep getting the idea that my mother has been bad mouthing them for years. My mother has been not saying anything about them, one way or the other, for years. Hell, she didn't know about most of them and the ones she did know about, she was assured by John weren't his. She had no reason to disbelieve him (or care,) so they were non-enities in my childhood. And in my adulthood, I was an adult and as far as she was concerned perfectly able to manage my own relationships (she also never badmouthed Dad after she divorced him. And eventually started getting along with him pretty well at family events, but that's a freak-out of it's own.)
10. Never quarreled with Golda. Never. Tagged a bridge and soaped a fountain with her, but never quarreled.
11. I'm still waiting for the $500 Stephanie owes me, but I don't remember an actual quarrel with her, just a mutual agreement with Golda that we'd both put up with enough of Stephanie's new attitude after she split with Donnie and got the boyfriend.
12. I did quarrel with Kelly. Pretty much everytime I had contact with her (ask me about the certified letter sometime. *veg*) That's the main reason I dropped contact with that family. Being around Kelly makes me an extremely snarky person. Which can be very entertaining at times, but which, as a way of life, is very tiring. I have better ways to direct my energy.
13. They do not look just like me. Yes, we are all varying shades of blonde. So are half the females in California. And, yes, we are all caucasian. Well, Goldie's half-Mexican, but close enough. And we do all have the usual equipment that most women come with, but again, so do a lot of others.
14. Shit, I considered naming Reese - Sage. Thank God, I ruled out all S names. I was totally going to spell it different. Totally.
15. Severly autisic, huh? Wonder how much money John gets for that each month. Wouldn't have anything to do with the DRUG use by both his parents with he was an infant and in the room inhaling all the pot smoke, would it?
16. Where's Stephanie's (step)son Nicholas in all this? Or did he just get tossed out when she divorced Donnie?
17. Why did she put the names Juan's kids in ALL CAPS, but none of the others? Are they extremely loud children?
18. That's a lot of kids. I have enough of my own to buy Christmas presents for, thanks.
19. Why only the sisters? We do have brothers. Or did Juan (don't look at me, I didn't name him that) come to his senses and dump the whole lot of them?
20. Just got off the phone with Mom, she's still laughing. She also says I'm not allowed to complain if Rosemarie calls me and tries to pump me for info about Mom again. *pout*
21. She spelled Caitlin's name wrong, and she turns 17 this month.
22. Cassia is a business owner. Oh, that brings up all kinds of scary mental pictures. Especially considering Kelly didn't say what kind of business. The question is, do I report it to the police or the Board of Equalization first?
23. John is in Hawaii. Whew, I was worried he might be lurking somewhere in California.
24. She may want to reread what she wrote about her parents, sounds like she's the one with the anger issues.
25. I need chocolate.