Is a Second Chance to explain too much to ask for?
ok... i will admit it. I Miss Chris. He is a great friend. and it kills me inside that he has reservations about me these days. All i ask is for a second chance. To make things right between he and I. Defending him today awoke something in me that has been dormant. I still want his friendship. But i want a new one. I want him to be friends with me... not who i was or was trying to be. I know i would and have given him second chances... but that is me and this is about him and the decision he chooses. I know that he does not hate me and has a interest in continuing our friendship. I just have no clue when if ever that will be. In my impatient heart i wish soon... but who knows... it may take a while. I just wish for a sign that letting go of my old ways was a good thing and he is interested. But i know of no way without breaking my word to him. I said i would not contact him. Foolish i know but i needed to break free and grow on my own. I know that this is not on my terms as it should be. So much of our friendship was on our terms. All or nothing is an abusive line to say to a friend. Now i see that i should have accepted him for who he is and been grateful to have his friendship. My greed and stupidity got the best of me and i was not being true to myself... let alone him. All i ask for is a second chance... but how do i go about asking for it??? If only i knew
-Gavin
-Gavin