Meaningful May: Values
I've been thinking of my values today, and how to apply them to my life today.
First off, there are my Christian beliefs, which I hope were on display this morning when I did the usual prayer zoom call with church friends; good to be able to join after missing the last two weeks.
Secondly, good manners, and I like to think I've got politer as a result of the lockdown and social distancing, so no temptation to cut up slow-moving pensioners who are on their way into the supermarket because I don't want to get stuck behind them. My walk today was full of my usual polite social distancing, backing off if I saw someone coming the other way, not responding with a sarcastic, "you're welcome!" when they didn't thank me.
Then, there's honesty, which can often be my achilles heel because there are so many times when I'd like to lie, but feel bad doing so; I'm not sure how I could apply this to today, except maybe in this post.
But there's also diplomacy so unlike some people I know I won't blurt out things that are true, but a little too brutally honest, so potentially insensitive to others' feelings. I did think once again about e-mailing the person who runs the Christian group at work, explaining my absence, without blaming anyone, saying something like "I'm not enjoying myself; I don't feel able to contribute effectively", but decided against it just because usually when I start to give reasons for why I'm not doing something, I end up shafting myself in various ways - usually people not inviting me to things "because I give detailed reasons as to why I can't attend", and also because I've been told it's a really "passive" thing to do.
I remembered how I'd hastily sent a friend a couple of WhatsApps on Saturday Night, but five minutes after thought better of it. He's a friend who can be unpredictable with his responses, and I became so convinced that I'd suggested something so foolhardy that I'd only get critism over it. Of course, when you delete a WhatsApp, it still comes up as a "deleted message" so I had him asking about it. My only response was to say, "I thought better of it" without going into reasons that might end up not looking tactful.
I've not had to use tact today, yet.
I suppose finally, there's perseverence, not giving up on things; my jigsaw is an example; I looked at it today, and I'm often tempted to think, "how can there be enough space between these pieces to add the missing bits?" and "are some pieces missing?" but I'm determined to keep going with it.
I'm still going with the 30 day fitness challenge, though I think on certain days when I have a zoom call at about quarter past eight, I need to try and rationalise everything I do; today I tried to fit in Bible reading, Daily Calm, reading a book, fitness, a shower, breakfast and a short walk before the prayer meeting, and I barely managed them all.
The fitness challenge is going well, but I am starting to feel the burn on the "wall sits"; I may have to soon wave the white flag on doing a continuous wall sit for too long, and break it into two separate ones.
Today, I started on the "30 minute challenge", and had a walk of more than half an hour at lunchtime.
Blossom on trees.
Spot the cat (I was taking the picture from a distance before I scared it away and didn't zoom enough).
The walk was my third for week 2 of National Walking Month.
Work was okay today; I'd been expecting a long meeting, and the sort where it feels like everyone has something intelligent to say except me.
In so many circles, I feel like this - which brings me back to the work Christian group.
Yeah, when I've been waiting half an hour to speak, and when I do, several faces on my screen look out at me like, "are you for real?", it isn't good for my confidence. Like they say, it is often better to keep quiet and have people think you are a fool than to open it, and leave them in no doubt.
Edit: I sidetracked myself and forgot to finish the story: It turned out that it wasn't some big round table discussion, just our director reading out a bunch of facts, and departmental plans that made me zone out a little. The good news was the meeting, expected to be over an hour long, ended up being just half an hour.
I have managed one success today: I finished filing away some unsorted, and very messy, notes that I'd accumulated from work, working out what might be needed, and what could be binned, making my intray somewhat neater.
First off, there are my Christian beliefs, which I hope were on display this morning when I did the usual prayer zoom call with church friends; good to be able to join after missing the last two weeks.
Secondly, good manners, and I like to think I've got politer as a result of the lockdown and social distancing, so no temptation to cut up slow-moving pensioners who are on their way into the supermarket because I don't want to get stuck behind them. My walk today was full of my usual polite social distancing, backing off if I saw someone coming the other way, not responding with a sarcastic, "you're welcome!" when they didn't thank me.
Then, there's honesty, which can often be my achilles heel because there are so many times when I'd like to lie, but feel bad doing so; I'm not sure how I could apply this to today, except maybe in this post.
But there's also diplomacy so unlike some people I know I won't blurt out things that are true, but a little too brutally honest, so potentially insensitive to others' feelings. I did think once again about e-mailing the person who runs the Christian group at work, explaining my absence, without blaming anyone, saying something like "I'm not enjoying myself; I don't feel able to contribute effectively", but decided against it just because usually when I start to give reasons for why I'm not doing something, I end up shafting myself in various ways - usually people not inviting me to things "because I give detailed reasons as to why I can't attend", and also because I've been told it's a really "passive" thing to do.
I remembered how I'd hastily sent a friend a couple of WhatsApps on Saturday Night, but five minutes after thought better of it. He's a friend who can be unpredictable with his responses, and I became so convinced that I'd suggested something so foolhardy that I'd only get critism over it. Of course, when you delete a WhatsApp, it still comes up as a "deleted message" so I had him asking about it. My only response was to say, "I thought better of it" without going into reasons that might end up not looking tactful.
I've not had to use tact today, yet.
I suppose finally, there's perseverence, not giving up on things; my jigsaw is an example; I looked at it today, and I'm often tempted to think, "how can there be enough space between these pieces to add the missing bits?" and "are some pieces missing?" but I'm determined to keep going with it.
I'm still going with the 30 day fitness challenge, though I think on certain days when I have a zoom call at about quarter past eight, I need to try and rationalise everything I do; today I tried to fit in Bible reading, Daily Calm, reading a book, fitness, a shower, breakfast and a short walk before the prayer meeting, and I barely managed them all.
The fitness challenge is going well, but I am starting to feel the burn on the "wall sits"; I may have to soon wave the white flag on doing a continuous wall sit for too long, and break it into two separate ones.
Today, I started on the "30 minute challenge", and had a walk of more than half an hour at lunchtime.
Blossom on trees.
Spot the cat (I was taking the picture from a distance before I scared it away and didn't zoom enough).
The walk was my third for week 2 of National Walking Month.
Work was okay today; I'd been expecting a long meeting, and the sort where it feels like everyone has something intelligent to say except me.
In so many circles, I feel like this - which brings me back to the work Christian group.
Yeah, when I've been waiting half an hour to speak, and when I do, several faces on my screen look out at me like, "are you for real?", it isn't good for my confidence. Like they say, it is often better to keep quiet and have people think you are a fool than to open it, and leave them in no doubt.
Edit: I sidetracked myself and forgot to finish the story: It turned out that it wasn't some big round table discussion, just our director reading out a bunch of facts, and departmental plans that made me zone out a little. The good news was the meeting, expected to be over an hour long, ended up being just half an hour.
I have managed one success today: I finished filing away some unsorted, and very messy, notes that I'd accumulated from work, working out what might be needed, and what could be binned, making my intray somewhat neater.