Longshot chuckled. Even he knew that Mordred is not going to take that verbal command. He clicked his tongue in his mouth and called out the horse's name. He reached into his satchel and pulled out a sugar cube.
"I used to know the hearts of plenty of people. Today, I'm lucky to have figured out two. Everybody else is confusing." He giggled when Rivenstar nudged him from behind for Mordred's sugar cube. He pulled another out of his satchel and fed the reddish-coated horse while he felt Mordred take the other sugar cube. "Wanna try feeding 'em? I think I got some carrots you could use."
Star shakes his head, pausing to glare at his hair and start combing it with his fingers and weaving it into a plait. "Probably best I do not."
He offers no further explanation, just finishes pulling his hair around and wraps a tie around the end of the plait. "Knowing others is not easy. Knowing yourself can be more difficult still."
Longshot shrugged and rubbed the snouts of both horses. Then he gently yet firmly pushed them away so he could grab their reins. He led them over to a tree and hitched them to it.
"Knowing yourself is almost impossible when it keeps getting stolen from you..."
Star wanders after them, arms crossed over his chest.
"I cannot empathise with that. Mojo attempted to wipe my memory but my," he smiles faintly, "-my ego was was so large that it failed. I do understand the confusion of not knowing who you truly are though."
Longshot shrugged and sighed. "At least I can be happy Mojo wasn't able to violate you like he could me. You must get that ... mental resistance from your mother."
Well, that was more painful to say than he thought. Now, he could fully understand why Ali had been so upset.
"Spiral has been wiped more times than you have. And she is not my mother. She may have contributed fifty percent to the Gaveedra code, but she is not my mother.
"The reason that Mojo failed is because I had only one thing, and I have only ever had one thing. Who I am is all that can never be taken from me. The arenas claimed everything but that." Potentially, the heated rage simmering below the surface just tlaking about it was a lot of the reason Mojo was unable to crack that thick head.
"Oh." Well, Longshot guessed that just left him as a genetic donor, too. Well, whatever he was going to be termed as, the blond Mojoworlder was going to call Shatterstar his son.
"I guess that's why we don't understand each other that well. We're on opposite ends of the spectrum. I tend to keep everything but who I am, and you lost everything but who you are."
It's a pity Longshot never voices those assumptions. He assumes a lot very incorrectly about his son.
"We were raised two hundred years apart. Your antagonist is not mine. Your arenas and pens are not mine. Your experiences, your team..." He doesn't know how to describe the differences between the weak and ineffectual X-Men and the brutal - but alive - X-Force without offending Longshot.
"You were made to be hope. Perhaps that is what I do not understand."
"But we both come from the same place, no matter how many years apart. There should be something in common that I'm not finding. Something that..." He trailed off. That way lead to frustration. And the less Shatterstar yanked on his own hair, the better Longshot would feel.
He frowned. "What don't you understand about hope? It's the only thing I think I know at times."
"I hope there is not. I do not think I would wish for any to have lived in the pens and remember their time there. You do not deserve to know a place such the one I grew up in. You have had enough pain in your life."
He's not pulling his hair. Playing with the tail of his plait, yes, but he does that a lot, especially when he's trying to work out if he's gone into the social area Sam told him not to. Talking about the pens and arenas makes people uncomfortable and want to leave. But it's all they really, potentially, have in common.
"I do not understand how people feel it. I have listened to others describe how it feels, and I have not felt it. Nor anything I would associate with it. I do not understand the emotion 'hope'."
"Pain will pass." See? He did learn something from being a martial artist. Though that probably wasn't what that little idiom was used for.
"Though, don't you feel it? When thinking about Ric? And the possibilities you want for both of your futures? A little warm feeling. Either here or here." Longshot poked Shatterstar in his chest and his stomach.
"Some pain passes. I was designed not to feel any pain for long, physical or emotional. But some pain does not pass. Ric still screams at night from nightmares of what they did to him nearly ten years earlier. That pain is still there."
He looks down at Longshot's poking finger. "That is love. When I think of the future, I see the most probable outcomes. We will be together until the end and we are likely to die young. I am already the oldest Cadre still alive. It will not be so bad."
"Well, sometimes waiting for it to pass is a problem, yeah," he had to agree.
Longshot slapped the back of his hand against Shatterstar's forehead. "Love and hope are tied together. I know my head's mostly empty, but yours should have more in it! You love, you have hope. And you're not going to die young! Not if I have anything to say about it."
Star blinks. It says a lot to him, that he didn't instinctively lash out against Longshot.
"I have already fallen once. And if Julio dies, I will follow him. No one will stop me from doing so. I still do not understand what love and hope have to do with one another. Desire, love, lust, despair, pain, happiness, I understand how these relate, but not hope."
Longshot stared at Shatterstar. Oh, if Mojo weren't dead now, Longshot would absolutely kill him.
"Hope is the feeling you have when what you want can be had. When you look forward to something with desire and confidence. No matter what gets in your way, you're going to have what you want. Hope runs under all the emotions you understand."
Then Longshot huffed. "If I protect you, I protect him. I'm not going to live longer than the both of you. No father wants that!"
Star's getting ready to protest about hope again, he has an actual argument for it now, when Longshot says that.
He's heard others say it. He's been told that Longshot calls him his son. It's still a shock to hear that claim so simply stated, as though it didn't effectively tilt Star's world on its side.
"But-" But what?
He shakes his head. He doesn't know why. He doesn't know what to say. He doesn't know what Longshot wants.
"I used to know the hearts of plenty of people. Today, I'm lucky to have figured out two. Everybody else is confusing." He giggled when Rivenstar nudged him from behind for Mordred's sugar cube. He pulled another out of his satchel and fed the reddish-coated horse while he felt Mordred take the other sugar cube. "Wanna try feeding 'em? I think I got some carrots you could use."
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He offers no further explanation, just finishes pulling his hair around and wraps a tie around the end of the plait. "Knowing others is not easy. Knowing yourself can be more difficult still."
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"Knowing yourself is almost impossible when it keeps getting stolen from you..."
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"I cannot empathise with that. Mojo attempted to wipe my memory but my," he smiles faintly, "-my ego was was so large that it failed. I do understand the confusion of not knowing who you truly are though."
Pause.
"Not you specifically, Longshot."
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Well, that was more painful to say than he thought. Now, he could fully understand why Ali had been so upset.
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"The reason that Mojo failed is because I had only one thing, and I have only ever had one thing. Who I am is all that can never be taken from me. The arenas claimed everything but that." Potentially, the heated rage simmering below the surface just tlaking about it was a lot of the reason Mojo was unable to crack that thick head.
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"I guess that's why we don't understand each other that well. We're on opposite ends of the spectrum. I tend to keep everything but who I am, and you lost everything but who you are."
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"We were raised two hundred years apart. Your antagonist is not mine. Your arenas and pens are not mine. Your experiences, your team..." He doesn't know how to describe the differences between the weak and ineffectual X-Men and the brutal - but alive - X-Force without offending Longshot.
"You were made to be hope. Perhaps that is what I do not understand."
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He frowned. "What don't you understand about hope? It's the only thing I think I know at times."
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He's not pulling his hair. Playing with the tail of his plait, yes, but he does that a lot, especially when he's trying to work out if he's gone into the social area Sam told him not to. Talking about the pens and arenas makes people uncomfortable and want to leave. But it's all they really, potentially, have in common.
"I do not understand how people feel it. I have listened to others describe how it feels, and I have not felt it. Nor anything I would associate with it. I do not understand the emotion 'hope'."
Reply
"Though, don't you feel it? When thinking about Ric? And the possibilities you want for both of your futures? A little warm feeling. Either here or here." Longshot poked Shatterstar in his chest and his stomach.
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He looks down at Longshot's poking finger. "That is love. When I think of the future, I see the most probable outcomes. We will be together until the end and we are likely to die young. I am already the oldest Cadre still alive. It will not be so bad."
Reply
Longshot slapped the back of his hand against Shatterstar's forehead. "Love and hope are tied together. I know my head's mostly empty, but yours should have more in it! You love, you have hope. And you're not going to die young! Not if I have anything to say about it."
Reply
"I have already fallen once. And if Julio dies, I will follow him. No one will stop me from doing so. I still do not understand what love and hope have to do with one another. Desire, love, lust, despair, pain, happiness, I understand how these relate, but not hope."
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"Hope is the feeling you have when what you want can be had. When you look forward to something with desire and confidence. No matter what gets in your way, you're going to have what you want. Hope runs under all the emotions you understand."
Then Longshot huffed. "If I protect you, I protect him. I'm not going to live longer than the both of you. No father wants that!"
Oops. Played his cards to soon...
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He's heard others say it. He's been told that Longshot calls him his son. It's still a shock to hear that claim so simply stated, as though it didn't effectively tilt Star's world on its side.
"But-" But what?
He shakes his head. He doesn't know why. He doesn't know what to say. He doesn't know what Longshot wants.
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