5 Words Meme
Annamatic gave me these words which remind her of me, and I am to elaborate on them and say what they mean to me.
Polyamory, body-positive, DJing, tie dye, long hair.
First of all, thanks Anna for some great words =)
1) Polyamory. Ok, I probably should begin by saying that I have been in my primary relationship for 14 years, underemphasizing the frequent occasions on which I anticipate my partner's death. When Joe and I got together, I was out as a lesbian and had only dated women for years. Being totally honest, seeing the effect of a man's earning power on the household, did affect me marrying Joe. Like Sally Albright says, "Women are very practical, which is why she gets on the plane at the end of the movie."
Anyway, Joe's and my relationship was always open, because he felt I should be free to date women. However, it's usually guys who are attracted to me. Then, after I had Jake, I went MAD WITH HORMONES and now I REALLY LIKE GUYS.
Usually this just means a few dates and a shag, or not, before the guy (never me) decides he can't handle sharing and it's back to the drawing board. For the record, *I* do not want to see people casually. *I* want to develop trusting lifelong intimacies with people. Keep finding out the hard way, guys mostly don't.
The notable exception to this was my last boyfriend. Not only did we fall in love, but he also made me breathless with desire, which is my drug, for sure. But instead of quitting me over not wanting to share, he went the other way and spent a year and a half cajoling me to leave Joe for him. The day I agreed to do this, boyfriend reneged. Pah. I quit him last January and still think about him every single day. Bugger.
Another exception is my current boyfriend. Been seeing him for the last 8 months, and for me he is nothing too special, but he deals with sharing because he cannot drive and has memory problems to the point that probably no woman will ever marry him. Had hoped dating more would make him more eligible, but he never retains anything, so it's a wash.
To me, the strangest thing about polyamory is that people find it shocking or surprising in some way, yet cheating, which is deceptive, has become so common that most people don't find it shocking at all =(
2) Body positive. First of all, I find it flattering that people associate this phrase with me =) Here is the story that made it so. I have not been fat my whole life, but most of it. And I was your typical fat girl, swimming around in massive t-shirts, thinking baggy clothes looked better and crying every time someone harasssed me for my weight.
Then a few years ago at Summer Institute, something happened. The most beautiful boy on earth, newly bridged young adult, crushed on me, and gave me a dozen roses in my mailbag, for the whole community to see. I was chair that year, so I came into the space early, and didn't even notice them at first. No one ever gives the chair anything! Then when people showed up for program, he said, "So who got what in their mail bag?" and drew everyone's attention to them. It was like being the prom queen.
I vowed at that moment, that if someone like him could fall in love with me, I was never feeling sorry for myself again. When I got back from SI, I bought some hip hugger jeans and a belt, tucked in my shirt, and let myself become myself. I have a lot of confidence most of the time. The rest of the time, I fake it.
3) DJing. Here's what makes me a good DJ. I know that my job is to keep the energy going in the room. It is not about my taste in music, it's what music will keep the party going. Take the crowd up, up, up, slow it down some, up again, and then POW, through the roof. It is not about playing all my favorite music. It is about the crowd.
Similarly, my job is also to keep the music GOING, that is to say, not to let the room become silent between records. That is the difference between the DJ and a JUKEBOX. DJing is an attitude field. You have to be able to deal with attitude.
The DJ is not the radio. If I get a request for "Tell Linda I Love Her" by Conway Twitty, I do not play it, because I don't care that it's your favorite song. No one else in the room has even heard of it, it will not keep the room jumping, so see above. You want to hear your favorite song, call a radio station. Go to a bar with a jukebox. If you can find a jukebox with that crappy song.
The last time I DJed was a room of about 500 people, and after I shut down, the crowd literally started chanting "One more song! One more song!" like in a freaking movie. I threw on the first cd I could find, which was "Pon de Replay" by Rihanna. It was like magic! Later that night, someone broke into my van and stole all of my equipment, records, and cds. I was parked in a parking garage because I was chasing a piece of ass (see paragraph 4 under polyamory). Bugger.
4) Tie dye. Once upon a time I bought Joe a dozen pair of briefs from Old Navy. They were white. Joe objected loudly because he feels very embarassed if he gets a stain in white underwear. He told me he would not wear them till I dyed them.
So, I bought a tie-dye kit at WalMart and dyed them all, to which he responded, "I can't wear them now, they're TIE DYED!" At which point I threw up my hands, there is no pleasing this bastard! In any case, I was able to reclaim all of our white clothing that had spaghetti stains, etc. I joined a dyers community online and learned more sophisticated techniques; now I consider myself an artist of it. Mandalas are my favorite.
5) Long hair. Where did I get the idea that the longer, the better? Probably from some boy in my formative years. And until a few years ago, I was the girl with the longest hair, it was always waist length. The trade off was that it didn't look that good. Now I let the stylist cut and layer it; it is still long but thicker and more current. Sometimes I miss having it really long, but now that I bleach my highlights white, it would surely break off before getting superlong again.
The last time I had short hair was 8th grade, when I was sporting a Ziggy Stardust, spiked thing. I was the bringer of punk rawk to my rural school district. Because I have a fat face I basically think I need long hair to draw the eye downward.
If you want 5 words of your own which I associate with you, to expound upon yourself in your journal, let me know in a comment and I'll lay 'em on ya.
Polyamory, body-positive, DJing, tie dye, long hair.
First of all, thanks Anna for some great words =)
1) Polyamory. Ok, I probably should begin by saying that I have been in my primary relationship for 14 years, underemphasizing the frequent occasions on which I anticipate my partner's death. When Joe and I got together, I was out as a lesbian and had only dated women for years. Being totally honest, seeing the effect of a man's earning power on the household, did affect me marrying Joe. Like Sally Albright says, "Women are very practical, which is why she gets on the plane at the end of the movie."
Anyway, Joe's and my relationship was always open, because he felt I should be free to date women. However, it's usually guys who are attracted to me. Then, after I had Jake, I went MAD WITH HORMONES and now I REALLY LIKE GUYS.
Usually this just means a few dates and a shag, or not, before the guy (never me) decides he can't handle sharing and it's back to the drawing board. For the record, *I* do not want to see people casually. *I* want to develop trusting lifelong intimacies with people. Keep finding out the hard way, guys mostly don't.
The notable exception to this was my last boyfriend. Not only did we fall in love, but he also made me breathless with desire, which is my drug, for sure. But instead of quitting me over not wanting to share, he went the other way and spent a year and a half cajoling me to leave Joe for him. The day I agreed to do this, boyfriend reneged. Pah. I quit him last January and still think about him every single day. Bugger.
Another exception is my current boyfriend. Been seeing him for the last 8 months, and for me he is nothing too special, but he deals with sharing because he cannot drive and has memory problems to the point that probably no woman will ever marry him. Had hoped dating more would make him more eligible, but he never retains anything, so it's a wash.
To me, the strangest thing about polyamory is that people find it shocking or surprising in some way, yet cheating, which is deceptive, has become so common that most people don't find it shocking at all =(
2) Body positive. First of all, I find it flattering that people associate this phrase with me =) Here is the story that made it so. I have not been fat my whole life, but most of it. And I was your typical fat girl, swimming around in massive t-shirts, thinking baggy clothes looked better and crying every time someone harasssed me for my weight.
Then a few years ago at Summer Institute, something happened. The most beautiful boy on earth, newly bridged young adult, crushed on me, and gave me a dozen roses in my mailbag, for the whole community to see. I was chair that year, so I came into the space early, and didn't even notice them at first. No one ever gives the chair anything! Then when people showed up for program, he said, "So who got what in their mail bag?" and drew everyone's attention to them. It was like being the prom queen.
I vowed at that moment, that if someone like him could fall in love with me, I was never feeling sorry for myself again. When I got back from SI, I bought some hip hugger jeans and a belt, tucked in my shirt, and let myself become myself. I have a lot of confidence most of the time. The rest of the time, I fake it.
3) DJing. Here's what makes me a good DJ. I know that my job is to keep the energy going in the room. It is not about my taste in music, it's what music will keep the party going. Take the crowd up, up, up, slow it down some, up again, and then POW, through the roof. It is not about playing all my favorite music. It is about the crowd.
Similarly, my job is also to keep the music GOING, that is to say, not to let the room become silent between records. That is the difference between the DJ and a JUKEBOX. DJing is an attitude field. You have to be able to deal with attitude.
The DJ is not the radio. If I get a request for "Tell Linda I Love Her" by Conway Twitty, I do not play it, because I don't care that it's your favorite song. No one else in the room has even heard of it, it will not keep the room jumping, so see above. You want to hear your favorite song, call a radio station. Go to a bar with a jukebox. If you can find a jukebox with that crappy song.
The last time I DJed was a room of about 500 people, and after I shut down, the crowd literally started chanting "One more song! One more song!" like in a freaking movie. I threw on the first cd I could find, which was "Pon de Replay" by Rihanna. It was like magic! Later that night, someone broke into my van and stole all of my equipment, records, and cds. I was parked in a parking garage because I was chasing a piece of ass (see paragraph 4 under polyamory). Bugger.
4) Tie dye. Once upon a time I bought Joe a dozen pair of briefs from Old Navy. They were white. Joe objected loudly because he feels very embarassed if he gets a stain in white underwear. He told me he would not wear them till I dyed them.
So, I bought a tie-dye kit at WalMart and dyed them all, to which he responded, "I can't wear them now, they're TIE DYED!" At which point I threw up my hands, there is no pleasing this bastard! In any case, I was able to reclaim all of our white clothing that had spaghetti stains, etc. I joined a dyers community online and learned more sophisticated techniques; now I consider myself an artist of it. Mandalas are my favorite.
5) Long hair. Where did I get the idea that the longer, the better? Probably from some boy in my formative years. And until a few years ago, I was the girl with the longest hair, it was always waist length. The trade off was that it didn't look that good. Now I let the stylist cut and layer it; it is still long but thicker and more current. Sometimes I miss having it really long, but now that I bleach my highlights white, it would surely break off before getting superlong again.
The last time I had short hair was 8th grade, when I was sporting a Ziggy Stardust, spiked thing. I was the bringer of punk rawk to my rural school district. Because I have a fat face I basically think I need long hair to draw the eye downward.
If you want 5 words of your own which I associate with you, to expound upon yourself in your journal, let me know in a comment and I'll lay 'em on ya.