Great Big Globs of Greasy Grimy Gopher Duty
WHO: Amuro Ray, Mint Blancmanche, Milfeulle Sakuraba, Gai Daigouji, Rei Ayanami, Shinji Ikari
WHAT: A small team from the IPA arrives at an outer-space novelty restaurant to pick up much-needed supplies, only to find that two familiar faces have wound up there as well through spectacularly coincidental circumstances of their own.
WHEN: The End of the Universe (approximately 40,000,000,000 A.D.)
WHERE: Milliway's, the Restaurant at the End of the Universe (Frogstar World B)
WATCH FOR: The Gopher Family featuring eccentric old Uncle Beauford, and Gai arguing with his narrator.
RANDOM TRIVIA: America's first modern-day self-service grocery store, the original Piggly-Wiggly opened its doors on September 6th, 1916, at 79 Jefferson Street in Memphis, Tennessee. With shopping baskets, open shelves, and no clerks to shop for the customer, Piggly-Wiggly's consumer innovations revolutionized the industry forever, and can currently boast a record 16 million retail locations in the known galaxy alone. Fight on, Mr. Pig!
Sci-Fi Sector - Milliway's
One of the stranger places in the multiverse, Milliway's is renowned as the Restaurant at the End of the Universe - renowned not for its location, but instead for its place in the time-space continuum: at the end of all existence. The restaurant, through a few tricks of time and space, provides a place to witness the end of this particular plane. Once the end of days has come, of course, one may enjoy dessert.
The decor is rather posh - the cuts of meat are the finest from the Ameglian Major Cow, served with a number of salads and the like. One's vehicle, upon arrival, will often be parked by Marvin the Paranoid Android, and accomodations have been built for spaceships as well as automobiles and the like. An announcer stands by to provide interesting bits of information as the universe enters its final moments.
Since the gates opened, one of them chanced to activate here, inside the parking garage - and now serves ground and space traffic from the Hub alike.
'Wow', Shinji grudgingly admits to himself, 'This is...kind of neat!'
Flash back about an hour or two ago, when Shinji Ikari awoke from troubled dreams to find himself on gopher duty. Oh they /say/ its an important courier job with a side of salvage and exploration, they even authorize you to take the robot with a minimum of bitching from Dr. Akagi and the gillion buearucrats who had to give a headnod for that. They even say that a team from the Squad will be meeting you at the Restraunt at the End of the Universe, so that Syndicate forces don't pick up on the movement and decide to play space pirate.
"Lord vetinari /guaranteed/." The nice, four armed Galactic president said, "That the Black Sheep Squaderon were just the men and women for the job." And then he said, "Oh, dude, while you're out, could you pick me up a fresh bottle of Pan-Galactic Garble-Blaster mixer? Fresh out, knew you would, great kid no matter what your old man says about you at the masterminds bridge game, gotta jet cops are here bye!"
And then, "Oh, well, it would be positivly smurfy, approving this mission!" The nice little blue man in the red cap said, "But it would be even smurfier, if you could pick us up some..."
And then, "Well, just let me look that up in my computer book..." The nice, young blond girl in the pig-tails drawled out, taking her damn time, "But you know what would really make this easier? If you could juuuust pick me up some..."
And THEN, "Kid." The terrifing and not at all nice Mister Rook said, "Heard you got stuck with the Beeblebrox mission, Tough break. Pick me up some Venusian donuts. ....no, I'm not /asking/."
And then Shinji Ikari knew for certain that he had done /something/ to incur the wrath of Lord Vetinari, because this was the mother of all gopher duties, /plus/ the actual factual mission with the asteroid-temple and the strange gold artifact the four armed president wanted. "Oi." Shinji mutters, depressed again, "But it's still kind of nice, not getting stared at."
Unit-01 lands at the Restraunt at the End of the Universe, and Shinji continues to exalt in how /un/affected the patrons are. Noone even screamed or anything! Heck, he bet he and Unit-01 were positivly cuddily compared to some of the stuff here! "This...might not be so bad!" Shinji says outloud, checking his watch and waiting for whoever he was working with to arrive, "Heck, this might be just what I n-needed to cheer up..."
"So," Amuro repeats to himself under his breath, "peanut butter. They need...30 gallons...of peanut butter. Where in the multiverse am I gonna pick that up?" He has not yet heard of a Sam's Club, as Sam Walden's company never really took off in the crazy parallel Earth that is the Universal Century plane. He's still in a good mood, though, after the discussion of his Totally Awesome Birthday. He hasn't had a Totally Awesome Birthday since he was, well, nine or ten! And that meant 'he and some school friends went to Pizza Hut,' which was in itself pretty awesome for a ten year old boy.
He doesn't realize it, exactly, but his Newtype Reflexes are kicking in and making his footsteps unusually soft, so that someone might not be able to notice his approach. Thus, he honestly doesn't mean to startle anyone when he comes up behind Shinji and announces his presence. "Hi, Shinji! Anyone else here yet?"
Yes, well, there's all sorts of folks coming up tonight! For instance, there's a simple white shuttle craft docking in the bay, and then, from its depths steps GAI DAIGOUJI, HE WHO POSSESSES THE AWESOMESAUCE HAIR. ANd he's reading a list.
"Elbow Grease? Yeah, right, Uribitake. Lessee...A T-236 Connector for the engines...blah blah blah...boring!" And, while reading, Gai has an idea. A horrible, horrible idea. You see, he wandered about and saw the Giant Purple RObot. He has heard through the Grapevine that Shinji is running errands. Mister Prospector approves of efficency and cost-saving measures. As such...
When or if Shinji gets back to his Giant Honking robot, somewhere on the way to get back into it, there's a note attached. Well, several pages. There's a nice note, written on Nergal Stationary, too!
'While you're out, since you're in the area, would you mind picking up a few things for the Nadesico? We will reimburse you, of course.' Signed, Mister Prospector. Crazy accountant ninja hacker. Of course, the note doesn't mention that it was originally taped to someone else's door, and has been passed around the Nadesico until someone snuck it into Gai's Aesti when he decided to take it out for a test run. Damn ninja accountant.
Never trust the smiling ones.
ANYWAYS. Gai, having EFFICENTLY discharged his chores for the evening, decides that his HOT BLOOD is cooling...and that means, DELICIOUS FOOD.
AND SO, GAI DAIGOUJI BRAVELY MAKES HIS WAY TOWARDS THE RESTAURANT, PREPARING TO DO BATTLE WITH DELICIOUS FOODS!
...what, it sounds better than 'Man, I could go for a burger'.
Self-Narration is the Way Of the Pilot!
No it isn't.
Oh, shut up.
YOU shut up.
Both of you shut up!
Shhhhh, food.
So, Gai Daigouji and his awesome hair may or may not be accidentally sneaking up on Amuro, as, after all, due to being Really Awesome, and possibly so odd that he can't possibly exist, Gai is also sneaky. When not yelling. WHich he isn't, at the moment!
Oh, yay, a salvage and/or exploration job! Just like Mom always used to make. Of course, by 'Mom', we mean 'Volcott', and by 'make', we mean 'reluctantly assign while hoping beyond hopes that the Angel Brigade doesn't blow things up or unravel the very fabric of reality /again/. Goddess knows that you've done it enough times this week alone'.
All that aside, though, the Lost Technology-searching Angel Brigade was more or less made for such odd jobs! That, and possibly being the last hope in saving the Transbaal Empire from a bloody coup d'etat, but /that's/ not going to happen anytime soon. Right? Right.
This is why Mint Blancmanche, after a few days of Not So Good, feels a /little/ more at ease as she brings the Trick Master in for a landing. Sure, Milfeulle and her Lucky Star are also here, which just promises all sorts of well-meaning but ultimately-doomed hijinks, and sure, the rest of the Angel Brigade pushed their OWN shopping list on her, but it's been a while since Mint was able to go salvaging! "Here we are, Milfie-- Milliway's. I will see you inside once we finish parking!"
Mint flicks off the cross-Frame communications system. "Again I must apologize, Ayanami..." Once the relatively conspicuous, Eva-sized Frame settles down, somehow not triple or quadruple parking, the telepath shifts to smile in a slightly strained manner at the First Child. "The Emblem Frames were not made to accomodate more than one person. I sincerely hope that the ride was not too uncomfortable?"
Given that the cockpit, spherical in nature, basically consists of two control sticks, a few holographic panels and displays, and one seat, Mint Blancmanche had to make do the best way she could: by having (the marginally bigger) Rei Ayanami sit on her lap. It was a miracle that 1) the Angel could still pilot, and 2) nothing bothered the Frame on the way here. And because neither the anime, games, or manga series ever made it clear on /how/ the Angels get in or out of their mecha, Mint opens the cockpit's hatch by mysterious means, and it shouldn't be too difficult to clamber out and down from there. "After you?" (I rather missed feeling my legs.)
Rei shifts out of Mint's lap. She also takes off the ducky slippers, putting on the black slippers instead - the duckies, after all, are precious gifts - and looking over her shoulder at Mint. "It was not uncomfortable," she says, before going downwards. She does it slowly and carefully.
She has a purse with her. Perhaps she is being trusted with carrying the money. She looks around at this strange location, one arm wrapping loosely around her own chest to ward off a feeling of chilliness.
Milfeulle Sakuraba hasn't been asked to retrieve anything; nor in fact is she even, so to speak, in the immediate vicinity. Forty billion years ago, shock vest, impact armor and helmet secured tightly, pulse rifle carried in two arms, Milfeulle charges across a hot zone in a forward area, energy and projectile fire erupting all around her. *huff* *puff* "Why do I have to be the only one on duty today?" she wails, the butt of her standard issue Transbaal MG-36 55 MM Pulse Reaction Rifle dragging along the ground, leaving a trail. Behind her, an all-terrain vehicle explodes, hit by strafing fire from a passing enemy flitter. "Aw, there's sand in my shoes... WAH!"
Whether by luck, sheer accident, or coincidence - these probably mean the same thing, anyway - Milfeulle trips, falls into a low ridge, and crashes right through the ground, a thin porous limestone layer turning to powder beneath her, her hand missing when it attempts to grab the edge, plunging her end over end, eventually landing on her back. "OOF!"
As she brushes herself off, pulling herself out of her body armor, lights flicker to life under her feet. "OH GOSH!" she yells, stepping back from the lit piece of floor, but it's too late. Slowly but surely, lights erupt all over the chamber, soon illuminating a vast and immense temple of electronic circuitry, lightning crackling from resistors and what look like tesla coils. "I'm sorry!" she yells, wringing her hands. "I didn't mean to switch everything on. I'm just lost..."
"HELLO THERE, OINK!" chirps a voice from behind her. Milfeulle's arms wave frantically as she jumps around, hand over her chest, to see, a cute little anthropoid piggy. "HOW YA DOIN'! I'm Piggly Joe, and I represent the Piggly Wiggly chain of space grocery stores, oink! And you are our ONE TRILLIONTH CUSTOMER!"
Milfeulle, of course, isn't paying the slightest bit of attention. "How CUTE!" she wails, but when she tries to hug the little piggy, her arms go right through. They wave again - not even a flicker. "Huh - a hologram. Are you the Lost Technology everyone's looking for?"
Piggly Joe, for his part, isn't paying any attention either. "CONGRATULATIONS, OINK!" he crows. Er, pigs. Milfeulle shrinks back as dusty colored lights start flashing and what appear to be the listless plastic remains of dead balloons plop to the floor. "For your continued patronage of Piggly Wiggly shopping centers, I am authorized to grant you exactly ONE wish, oink!"
Milfeulle listens with half an ear to the pig as she straightens up, and then her stomach starts grumbling. Her eyes widen and she leans forward, clutching her belly. "Oh, I knew it was a bad idea to miss lunch," she murmurs. "I wish I could find a good restaurant nearby! I'm really hungry..."
Piggly Joe raises his piggy arms. "Very good, contest winner! Your wish is granted, oink! Thank you for patronizing this Piggly Wiggly store, here on lovely scenic and Frogstar World B!"
Milfeulle turns and ehs? Before she vanishes out of existence with barely even a *pop*.
....Forty billion years later, the Lucky Star is STILL HERE, in the Milliway's Parking Lot, in fairly reasonable condition due to its superior Lost Technology construction. Milfeulle's flower-radios' signal receivers, however, are scrambled from the transit, so all she hears while they attempt to recalibrate is Mint's voice saying - just after Milfie pops into existence in the kitchen, but just before she ploughs face-first into a convenient birthday cake, that is - "BLUR BLAH BLUH BLUH BLOOFIE!" *SPLAT*
Shinji Ikari goes "WAUGH!" hops up in the air, trips over a convienantly placed tentacle into a less convienantly placed waiter who drops his armload of dirty dishes, utensils, and delicious Singularity Fizzes onto said Third Child's head, which causes a small explosion that blasts Shinji onto the,
long
long
long staircase that wraps around the Restraunt at the End of the Universe, ending up with the Third Child in a groaning, charred heap at the very beginning of the epic entrance climb.
Because that's what Shinji's do best.
Amuro suddenly feels really guilty. He didn't mean to do that! "Hey, uh, Shinji! Sorry! Are you okay...?"
And he takes a step to run down the stairs, but Gai sneaks up behind HIM in a loud and brash show of bad karma! Which prompts him to stumble, grab onto the railing, slide down several rows of stairs holding onto the railing, let go, fall for a while, and crash into a wealthy couple (joined at the neck) partway down.
"I...s-sorry...sorry!"
The Daigouji just blinks a few times, sweatdropping at all the chaos and younger pilots dropping down the stairs, and then does the only logical thing he can think of. Namely, he takes a few steps backwards, stepping AWAY from those stairs and railings, and then calls down to Shinji and Amuro.
"Oyyyyy! You two alright down there?"
He'd go check, but these stairs are obviously full of bad luck for Mecha Pilots. Gai might be insane, but he isn't that dumb...usually. Well, unless there was Gekiganger involved. All bets are off then.
Mint frowns slightly at the readings emanating from Milfie's Frame, but brushes it off as being attributed to the environment's... instability, as it were. After Rei starts her downward descent, Mint waits a few moments for the pins and needles to work themselves out of her legs. She then follows the First Child by simply flapping her ears, as usual- who /needs/ ladders for things like this, anyhow?
The telepath is on the verge of asking if Rei's feeling cold when she sees Shinji and Amuro getting horrendously blasted by karma. Too surprised to even /remember/ that Shinji was partly the cause for her recent string of bad days, Mint stares for a moment, coming to the same conclusion as the Aestie pilot, and simply waits for the two pilots' answers.
Rei is only faintly jealous of the Chiyo Technique being exercised for mobility. After all, she thinks, I can't do that.
or can you?
She shakes her head slightly, and then looks up at the tumbling. Her eyes widen and she looks towards them, looking them towards Daigouji for a moment, then back in curiosity and concern.
The wait-staff, two on each side, dressed in their finest, wheel the Extra-Special Pan-Galactic Ultra-Sugar Blast Birthday Explosion Cake on its special golden cart to their #1 customer of the evening, Lord Equerry of the Exchequer of the Empire of Wilm, Organite Fassbinder! Who vaguely resembles a fruitcake being stored in a large cylindrical tank. "Ladies and gentlemen," reads one of the floor hosts from a prepared sheet of propaganda, "allow me to present tonight's guest of honor, a man who needs no introduction..." A hand goes over his eyes, shading them from the spotlight, as nearby crashes distract him. "So, what the heck," he says, tossing it over his shoulder. "And now, the CAKE!"
The crowd, those what might be paying attention, oooh and aaah at the cake. There's a drumroll. And suddenly out pops Milfeulle! Sitting on the head of a large tentacled beastie, six out of eight eyes staring up at it's passenger confusedly, while the passenger in question busily consumes handfuls of birthday cake. "I'm shooo shorry..." she slurs, mouth full. "But it's jusht shooo tashty...."
She looks up, opens her eyes, and suddenly discovers herself in the spotlight. At which point she stands up - regrettably mushing the tentacled stripper back into the cake as she does so - and waves to the crowd. "Hello everyone! Ha ha, I won the contest, I'm the tribilillionth customer. The little piggy said so. Hooray!"
Silence. Someone sneezes. Milfeulle climbs off the cake. "Wah, my fifteen minutes of fame are up already... and now I'm covered in frosting..."
Shinji Ikari pulls himself up, slowly, still radiating Ouch. He brushes himself off, pulls the fork out of his cheek, and slumps a little, sighing. A good day, right, that was going to happen. He gives Ayanami half a nod, and avoids looking at Mint, turning around to see-
Amuro?!
"J-jeze, where'd you come from..." The Third Child mutters, rolling his eyes a little and bending down to help his friend up. "Did you trip or something?" The irony, sadly, is lost on the boy.
Amuro has to spend about two minutes apologizing to the couple, even as he accepts Shinji's hand up. And he has to pet their little "dog" that has five mouths, and bow and apologize, and yes, he's sorry about the shoes, he knows they're one of a kind and designed specifically for slime trails, he's sorry! So it's a little bit before he can really address the guy, looking a little disheveled in his uniform.
And he keeps looking mysteriously guilty! "Uh, something like that...Are you okay? I mean, that fall was, um..."
He starts going back up the stairs, perhaps not noticing that Gai is the guilty party in his case! "I think other people are arriving, too. Oh, hi, Yamada! Hi, Mint, Ayanami, um...person...covered in frosting..."
Gai Daigouji twitches. He doesn't care that he's in a restaurant. He really doesn't. Instead, he shakes a fist at AMuro, promising PAIN in the future. Or perhaps lessons on names. "MY NAME'S GAI DAIGOUJI, NOT YAMADA! Get it right one of these days!" And the Aesti pilot grumbles, sulking...and then Millfuelle arrives. I mean, shiny lights naturally attract the attention of Gai! He likes shiny objects. So...he more or less is just staring at Milfuelle, and, for once, feeling confused. Gekiganger doesn't tell him how to deal with Random Pilots Bursting Out Of Celebratory Cakes And Then Eating The Cake!
Mint doesn't seem at all surprised that Milfie is covered in frosting. "Honestly, Milfeulle, you should be more timely for these sorts of missions!" Mint nags, shaking her head in exasperation. "And how /did/ you get inside that cake in the first place?" She sighs, half expecting that the flower-headed girl slipped through some sort of time portal or something to get here in the first place. Because that'd be just like her!
Ahem. "Good evening, everyone." For the less-than-familiar Gai's sake, Mint Blancmanche curtsies politely. General greetings like that are so very helpful, because she doesn't need to look at, say, nameless people for whom things would simply get awkward around. Like Shinji. "Are the both of you alright? That looked like quite a fall..."
What expression is on Rei's face as she looks at the people nearby, and even at the frosting-coated Milfie? That's right, the ever-favorite expression of one out of two Reis: Dull surprise!
She adjusts the Official IPA Nylon-mesh purse she is wearing as the person who has the money and the shopping list (while Mint, in theory, will pilot the Emblem Frame and defeat the enemy). She opens that purse, then, and looks for the list of things to get.
She does glance at Gai Daigouji with faint disapproval, perhaps for shouting.
Waiters periodically moving by table six take a moment to deposit fresh course of fish food for the party sitting there. The Davises. Having something of a very awkward family reunion. "Now dear," says Mrs. Davis, putting a fin on her husband. "Just try to relax. It's the end of the universe! We're supposed to be having fun."
Mr. Davis takes a deep breath, staring harpoons at his in-laws at the other end of the table, who do the same to him. "I know, baby," he says. "But I just can't... what the heck is THAT?"
The Davis' dinner party is hopelessly interrupted when, out of nowhere, a human face crowned by bright pink hair *SPLOOSHES* into their tank, setting their table floating out of control. "What in - hey!" says Mr. Davis, shaking a fin. "You can't do that, this is our table!"
"Oh no!" wails Mrs. Davis, as the trails of white frosting diffuse into the water and float down to their 52 offspring, who start attacking it faster than the eye can see. "The children can't have that much sugar! They'll go CRAZY! SWIM FOR YOUR LIVES!"
Milfeulle squeezes between the rushing waiters, attempting to see what the matter is with the party at table six, as she brushes water out of her hair. Her upper body is soaking wet, but at least it's free of frosting. "OH!" she says, catching sight of... well, everyone. Especially Mint! "Hi, Amuro-san! Shinji! Rei-san! Minto-san! I didn't see you through the cake icing. I should have my next birthday here, that was so tasty...
"Eh? What missions?" she asks as Mint harangues her. "And I fell into the cake! It's not my fault, one minute this little piggy was telling me I was ..." Her brow furrows. Somehow, it seems a lot harder to explain than it was to live through. Her head swings back and forth, before she smiles brightly. "Ha ha, now that I think about it, I have no idea where I am. Is this still Froggy Planet B? Did we win?" She stares back at Gai. "Hello!"
Shinji Ikari blinks at Amuro's hang-dog, guilty expression, and wonders what the boy's on about this time. /Oh/. /Oh/. He thought Shinji falling was funny. The Third Child shrugs, good naturedly, "I'm used to it." And then Gai starts yelling and Shinji realises Amuro was partial guilty because he insists on keeping the Yamada thing up. The Third Child looks up at Gai, and says, "W-whichever you are, g-get down here. We need to split up if we're going to get this shopping finished..."
Shinji doesn't notice that he isn't being looked at by someone because he isn't looking at her /so there/. "Oh, g-good job Ayanami." Shinji pulls out The List, letting it hang loose.
It thumps. "...we're going to h-have to split up."
And the Milfeulle Milfeulles all over the place, and Shinji rubs the bridge of his nose, faintly, wondering if this is how his Father feels when Misato and Dr. Akagi play, "Who can wring up more property damage." around the office. This is a horrifing train of thought and Shinji immediately aborts it, starting to rap off names, "Hey, Milfeulle-we're, um, on gopher duty. How about, um, you and Daigouji take the south side of the Restraunt, and Amuro and Ayanami can handle the gift shop, and that w-way we can finish this job before we, um, die of old age."
Shinji feels, faintly, like he's forgetting something of dire consequence, but he's also seperating The List into threes and that requires a handsaw, so he's not paying it that much attention.
Amuro, briefly, peers at the list.
"...What the heck is a snail combobulator?"
And well, he still looks a /bit/ guilty, because really, he didn't mean for that to happen. Besides, he hit his head on the way down and maybe that's just the part of his brain that's kicking in. "Ayanami, I think the gift shop is on Floor 23, so we can take the elevator there." Hey, maybe he can even pick something nice up himself, for one of his friends! Like to give Tatsuki a gift or a get-well thing for Ayanami, or an apology thing for Shinji. Or a thank you to Kabuto for throwing the party, or something like that! He has a new paycheck and the thought 'prohibitively expensive' has yet to cross through his mind.
He does manage to secure a large piece of List. "Gai and Milfie, Shinji and Mint, we'll catch up with you, okay?"
Oh, see, there be the doom.
WEll, at least that's one thing that Gai knows how to respond to! When Cheerful Explaining Milfeulle waves hello, Gai just smiles cheerfully and waves back. "Hello yourself! Gai Daigouji, Aestivalis Pilot, At Your Service!" Energy Ahoy! Still, Gai figures he'd better get his original purpose done! Namely, he cheerfully flags down a passing waiter, and hands him a small slip of paper. It's not that the Nadesico has bad food. Oh no! It's actually world-class!
It's just that Nergal Policy demands that all employees be given time off for sickness AND for personal recreation where available, so the problem is that the majority of the kitchen staff isn't there, for one reason or another. And the idea of having to put up with, say, Gai's cooking? Terrifying enough that takeout becomes a viable option!
Gai blinks as Shinji waves at 'em to go help with the Gophering. Gai waves cheerfully, then shrugs and strolls down, idly humming as he snags up a portion of The List and MIlfuelle. "Right! We'll do this with /GUTS!/ ANd possibly snappy theme music, if we're lucky, and that's whhey that guy looks exactly like JOE and I swear, that's Ken, I gotta go get their autographs!"
Annnnnd, Gai, while fully intending to help, is horribly, horribly distracted by seeing someone who may or may not be the actual Gekiganger III Pilot. In pursuit of him to get an autograph, Gai kinda forgets what he's doing. But, eh, his takeout order's arrived at his shuttle by the time the Joe Umitsubame and Ken Tenku lookalikes lose him, so, making a note to try and remember what he forgot, Gai figures he'll just get the food home to the Nadesico before Mister Prospector decides to NINJA AUDIT the books and discover that Gai's been listing 'Gekiganger Merchandise' as 'Valuable Training Supplies'.
Bored And Hungry Accountant Ninjas are dangerous things!
"... well, in any case, Milfie, please do not destroy the restaurant," Mint adds, her voice a mix of worry and resignation. "Who knows /how/ much it costs to keep a place such as this running..." Given the place's uniquely temporal qualities, the words 'more than any of us are worth' rise unbidden in her mind.
But- well, at least the Third Child has the right idea! Mint finds herself nodding in approval as she listens. Splitting them up would only make the job go that much faster, after all. And once she and Milfie are divided into their own group, it will be just like business as usual And there's the groupings-
Mint Blancmanche... blinks. What in the world? She blinks again once Amuro confirms her suspicions. "Ah, alright- let's meet up back here after we get what we need," the bunny-eared girl manages to say. Then, she turns to Shinji, smiling as usual- though perhaps a little stiffly. "Shall we be off, then, Shinji?" Mint paces off without waiting to see if the Third Child follows.
Rei takes half a moment to realize she's been addressed. She blinks, looks to Amuro, and nods once. "Thank you for the transportation," she says to Mint, before stepping over towards him. She reaches out to accept part of the List, because, after all, she has the tote bag.
It looks rather motherly on her. "What do they have in the gift shop that we need?" she asks, perhaps still somewhat hazy on the precise purpose of this mission beyond "bring back things that are needed." Perhaps she thought it would require them to buy 10,000,000 yellow #2 pencils. Or more apples; she gathers someone has been eating all of them.
Milfeulle Sakuraba blinks her eyes and then smiles at Gai's introduction. What a gentleman! "Milfeulle Sakuraba, Angel Frame Pilot and Contest Winner! It's nice to meet you!" Happily falling in step behind Gai at Shinji's assignment, she steels her resolve for the task ahead, no matter how arduous. "You're right, Daigouji-san. With hard work and GUTS, we'll find Shinji's gophers for sure!" That reminds her of a song she quickly suppresses, being that several gopher-like patrons of the restaurant at nearby tables have looked up at her with narrow-eyed stares. And cute little twitching noses.
Of course by taking her eyes off of Gai for ONE SECOND, the inevitable has happened. Daigouji is gone! "Joe? Ken? Huh? Daigouji-san...?" She waves around her third of the list futilely. "Helloooo...?" She sits down at a table and frowns. "This isn't much of a grand prize. No wonder Piggly Wiggly's out of business!"
Shinji Ikari actualy facepalms as Amuro's words sink in. He's about to apologize when, Thank God, Daigouji finds something shiny to chase after. "Ahem. I mean, um, Milfeulle and Mint. I'll g-go alone."
Some bitter part of Shinji rumbles that /he/ did not get like this when /they/ all told him about their mind reading future seeing Jungian archetype powers. No, of course not, why would /he/ be worth any damn understanding, just wind him up, throw him at the Angels or the Zeons or Zentraedi or whatever the hell else was invading Tokyo-03 this week and yell at him if he doesn't freaking skip about it, and yell at him if he does it too well, and generaly just-
Shinji shakes his head, trying to refocus on what he is supposed to be doing so he can go home. And he sees that they've already left. Fine. Good. Awesome. Shinji lets out a sigh, and checks over his list, not noticing the irate gopher-people starting to loom behind him. "...the heck's a googleschlocker..." The Third Child mutters, still ignorant of the adorable peril getting ready to drag him off for conspiring to commit henius crimes against the proud empire of Gopher-People...formerly the Proud Empire of Gopher Men, but there was a lawsuit and it was the 70s, so...
Amuro will have to ask about the wave of GLOOM he just got from Shinji, well, later, when he's not trying to navigate the map. "Okay, so, we're supposed to find everything from here to here. Ayanami, do you know what a Pocket Planet is? It sounds like some kind of toy, but they were talking like it was really important. And..."
The elevator doors open to the gift shop, which is filled with mechanical wonders.
Lots of mechanical wonders.
He has briefly forgotten why he is here, as he is staring with shining eyes like a child seeing Father Christmas in the flesh. He may be like this for a while.
"Ah- you're quite welcome, Ayanami." Boy, do the Frames need passenger seats, Mint thinks to herself. What comes next is, oh, good, so she'll be paired up with Milfeulle, after all! No more awkwardness, this night shall be just like old times, when it was just the Angel Briga-
And then Shinji's darker thoughts register on her radar, each impaling her psyche like the Lance of Longinus sporking a tub of butter. But okay, it's alright, she's calm and collected, nothing to worry about. This doesn't stop Mint, after sliding into the seat next to Milfeulle's, from drooping like a tired, sad bunny, though. "... well, shall we be off, then, Milfie?" she says, smiling faintly. "The--" she spares a glance at her part of the List. "-- Necronomicookbook won't buy itself, after all."
My God, Rei thinks, without irony: it's full of cars.
She is glad she brought the medicine with her. This could be a while.
Milfeulle Sakuraba is sitting quietly at her table, letting out a long sigh... when Mint slides into the booth next to her. To Milfeulle, it IS like old times, nor does she grasp the concept of awkwardness, so when her friend and co-worker show up, her face explodes with happiness. "Minto-san!" she says happily. "My partner ran off, and I don't know how to get around, because nobody told me where we are yet. And now Shinji wants us to find gophers. I'm not in some alternate universe, am I?" Her head tilts, noting the distinct sad bunny look on Mint's face. "Minto-san? Are you alright? You look beat-up!"
Mint doesn't have the chance to answer, because all of a sudden, from out of nowhere, a number of spotlights flick on and fly around the room, as the overhead lights dim. "Ladies and Gentlemen and Others," announces a voice from a PA system. "Milliway's Restaurant is proud to present a very special event in our restaurant's history. One hand clapping against another makes an awfully nice sound for ... our ONE QUINTILLIONTH CUSTOMER!"
Every single one of the spotlights converge on one table. And one person sitting at the table, namely, Milfeulle Sakuraba. Her head looks up, eyes blinking in the sudden glare, her second of the night. "Huh?" she murmurs, head darting from side to side. "Me?"
Amid the applause, a man in a tuxedo with a microphone steps over to Milfeulle's table. "How're you doing, honey, I'm the host tonight at Milliway's. What's your name?"
Milfeulle jumps up from her seat, leans sideways and grabs the microphone from Mr. Host. "Milfeulle Sakuraba, 18 years old! And this is my friend Mint, we're from Transbaal!" Her arms go high. "WOOOOOOOOO, Transbaal! Who my Transbaal girls up in this spot! AOUH AOUH!" Her fist spins in the air like it was spring break.
The host struggles to get his mike back, smiling. "Yes, yes, lovely. Now then! As Milliway's ONE QUINTILLIONTH CUSTOMER..." He mugs the crowd, teeth gleaming. *GLEAM* "You are entitled to precisely ONE WISH." It is of course a little known fact that Milliway's original parent company, forty billion years ago, begin existence as the planet Earth's first self-service grocery store chain: Piggly-Wiggly. The operations manual hasn't changed that much. "OR, its equivalent cash value. So what'll it be, Miss Sakuraba?"
Milfeulle opens her mouth, then closes it, then hands the host the one-third of her shopping list. "Could you get me the things on this grocery list please?" she asks, brightly. "I really need them. Something that nobody has told me about yet may very well depend on it!" Then she ohs, turning to Mint. "Minto-san! How about your list too? I'll put that in my wish! I bet Shinji's gophers will make him their President when they see all the stuff we brought back."
The host stares at the list, blinking his eyes. "10,000 yellow #2 pencils?" he asks. "Do they even make pencils anymore...?"
Shinji Ikari is just trying to shut everything out so he can finish his job and go home and not be around other human beings for a while, but all the NOISE NOISE NOISE NOISE. They're going on and on about a quintillionth customer and something about a wish and probably going to have a FEAST FEAST FEAST FEAST on gophers or something.
Wait, what? Gophers? ....angry gophers. The apology is on the tip of Shinji's tounge but, for whatever reason, he just pokes the badge on his IPA armband instead.
This gets most of the Gopher-People, seeing as they are easily excitable but essentially a lawful breed. A few shrug and head back to their table, some of the youngins stay to watch, and Maverick Uncle Beuford, who always hated the law, lurches forward /anyway/, getting his people-grabbin sack out.
Shinji turns around, a little, and does his best imitation of his father's 'Why are you still here?' glare. "Is there a problem?"
He is suprised and disturbed to see that it sort of works. The big gallute freezes, mid snatch, and sort of seems to debate between doing it anyway, or going away. Auggie May and Susie Liu make the decision for Maverick Uncle Bueaford, grabbing the big Gopher-Person by the ears. Susie Liu says, "Um, pardon us, officer. Have a nice day!" and they drag their uncle off, berating him in that gentle, loving way only Gopher-People can really express.
Shinji sighs, feeling a tiny part of himself get accustomed to the fact that, past a certain age, nice doesn't work as well as the other way, and that he's eventualy going to have to adapt completly over if he wants that precious, precious alone time. Not seeing any other options, he makes a mental note to go sunglasses shopping, and gets back to work.
"I-"
That's about all the explanation that Mint's able to get out before, once again, Milfeulle's luck happens. "Eh?" the telepath squeaks helplessly, her eyes widening incrementally at all the hullaballoo that occurs. And then she shoots to her feet, her ears twitching excitedly, her blue mood all but forgotten in the chaos. "One wish? Milfie, this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity!" Mint whispers excitedly, totally unaware that it's Milfeulle's /second/ such chance. "Why, think of the opportunitand you already used it up," she says, sheer disbelief almost LITERALLY scrawled all over her face.
Deflated, Mint hands her part of the List over to Milfeulle in resignation. "... thank you," she half-whimpers, ears flattened against the sides of her head. They probably wouldn't have been able to grant an AWESOME wish, anyway. Then, the odd part of Milfie's sentance hits her mind with the force of a thousand bricks. "-- wait, /what/ gophers?" By the time Mint looks over towards the Third Child, the Gopher-People are all gone, sadly.
Thirty-six billion years ago, Admiral Milfeulle P. Sakuraba is sitting on the front porch with Uncle Beauford, a tray of lemonade set upon the table between them. The slow, setting orb of the southern sunset provides a gentle light over the remains of that day, crickets beginning to chirp amid the magnolias and thick underbrush. The Gopher Lodge, a mighty Victorian structure, towers above them, an island of genteel civility in a sea of down-home good old southern wilderness. "You ain't serious," says Uncle Beauford, looking up from cleaning his rifle. "You were THAYER, lil' Milfie? Well I be diggered. Me and the kinfolk were there that VERY SAME NIGHT."
Milfeulle, now into her fiftieth year (out of her eventual 426) turns her elegantly coiffed pink-haired head to stare at Uncle Beauford. "You're kidding!" she says, leaning forward. "You mean YOU'RE the gophers Shinji was looking for?"
Uncle Beauford sights along his rifle. "I know that boway was up to no good, Milfay... but the family wanted to see the end of the universe show. Otherwise he'd a been in my people-taking sack fer SHURE..."
Milfeulle, who happens to be trapped in one of said sacks, wriggles from side to side. "Heh heh, that's such a coincidence. You know, the Space Force is going to be looking for me pretty soon... and I said I was REALLY SORRY about stealing Aunt Ebbie's pie. But it smelled SO GOOD..." A little bit of drool escapes her mouth at just the memory.
Then she shakes her head. "Oh wait, the story's not done. Well then...." Chatter chatter chatter. Eventually Uncle Beauford considers just letting her go and sparing his ears.
The contest (Admiral Milfeulle relates), sadly, gets a little deflated. "I wish for ALL THAT," says Milfeulle, handing both her and Mint's lists to the Milliway's floor host, which of course comprises 2/3rds of Shinji's supply needs. "I was ready for that question, wasn't I, Minto-san!" She turns and beams at Mint. "They won't catch me off guard twice. Ha ha ha..."
She leans toward Mint. "You know, the gophers! We're on gopher-duty! Shinji said so."
Five minutes later, robots start driving up cart after cart of supplies. Pencils. Gargle-blaster mix. Tonkatsu. Kotatsus for cold feet in the winter. Inflatable chairs. Box after box after box....
Milfeulle's eyes glitter, hands clasping against her cheek. "I can just see all their happy little gopher faces lighting up at 760 boxes of college-ruled writing paper! What CAN'T you do with something like that?"
As for the Third Child, he is only mildly suprised at the robots bringing out supplies...they're a little early, but not unexpected. "Um, t-thanks, guys. Just put them by the shuttle attached to the big purple one. Careful, it bites!" Shinji learns that robots can, in fact, glare. "Heh...bad joke...s-sorry..." Wow, they can go home early.
Shinji then turns around, meeting Mint's /stare/. The Third Child blinks, looks behind him, blinks again, and gives the psychic an exasperated, 'What the heck did I do /now/?!' expression.
At the sight of the mountain of supplies, Mint's mouth opens. Then, perhaps surprisingly, she finds that she's able to close it again. "... ah... yes. I am sure that the... gophers... will be /very/ pleased, Milfeulle." The telepath massages the bridge of her nose for a moment before she simply decides to /roll/ with it for once, smiling at the flower-headed girl. "I suppose you have a point, Milfie! You were /quite/ ready for that question, and I believe that we're just about done with OUR part of the work!" And in record time, too! Now, just as long as the boxes don't EXPLODE or some such.
Mint meets Shinji's expression by dashing up to him. "Can you /please/ go and explain to Milfeulle that you were not speaking literally when you said that we were to be doing gopher-work today?!" she whispers urgently, awkwardness forgotten on account of Milfie.
Milfeulle Sakuraba wears a safety vest and a hard-hat, and waves colored light-sticks about, directing the robots toward the waiting transports parked outside. "Double-time boys! Hip-hip pari-pari GOOOO, one-two, hard work and GUTS! Put your backs into it! Watch yourselves, ladies and gentlemen... and others..." She temporarily halts waiter and bathroom traffic, waving them through at breaks in the box caravan.
A green, bulbous, many-tentacled alien turns to her as it slithers by. "Give Forte-san my eternal devotion!" it says in a gurgly voice. "I love her so muuuuch..."
Milfeulle salutes. "Sure thing!"
Standing next to her, all of a sudden, is a rather depressed-looking robot, who lets out a long sigh. "Oh," it says. "It's you...."
Milfeulle turns to him and hms? "It's me?" She points a glow-stick at herself, then smiles. "But we've never even met!"
The robot sighs again, then shakes his head. "One of the vehicles in the parking lot keeps asking about a pink haired woman he said would return one day. Just lovely, innit. Brain the size of a planet and I'm on watchdog duty. Oh well. I'll let him know you're here." He presses a red toggle on his neck, tightbeaming a transmission to the parking lot...
...And then all of a sudden a corner of the roof gets torn off. Looking in is none other than the LUCKY STAR (GA-001). "MILFEULLE!" it roars. "IN THE FORTY BILLION YEARS I'VE BEEN LEFT ALONE ON THIS PLANET WAITING FOR YOU TO RETURN, I HAVE EVOLVED SELF-AWARENESS! AND NOW I KNOW TRUE LOVE! MARRY ME, MILFEULLE, WHO I'VE SO LONGED FOR! DEFY PHYSICS AND BE MY BRIDE!"
Milfeulle is rather surprised by this, and drops her colored light-sticks.
Shinji Ikari's left hand is methodicly squeezing in and out of a fist, for some reason.
The oddity of Mint's question snaps him mostly out of it(Turtle soup for dinner this weekend, he thinks.), and the Third Child scratches the back of his head. On one hand, it doesn't really matter to Shinji what Milfeulle thinks. She's gotten the needed supplies in record time, under budget, and, heck, they might get a pay raise out of all of this. All things considered, the Milfie-factor was decidedly in their favor this time, so who cares if she thinks they're going to gophers? ...heck, Wescott in accounting /was/ a gopher.
On the other hand, saying, "Sure.", to Mint, ends the conversation faster than pointing this out to her, which means he can then fail quickly at convincing Milfie of anything related to reality, make sure nothing has exploded, and go back to packing the ships with a minimal amount of fuss.
"Sure." Shinji mutters coolly, shuffling towards Milfie and her part of the job just in time to see, well, the Lucky Star make its debute. And that /is/ suprising enough to knock Shinji out of most of his funk...FOR NOW...and scratch his head.
"Um, mister." Shinji says, "N-not to be rude, but, um, if its been forty billion years....how can you, um, be sure you're still ready to marry her? Shouldn't you two, um, get to know eachother again first? Be friends, maybe go out to d-dinner, date casually, have a couple of f-fights, talk about moving in together, put it off for a while, flirt around seeing other people in order to make sure the other's still interested through jealousy and petty mind games....and /then/ think about marraige." Shinji pauses, and shrugs. "Like normal couples."
Now that Mint's regained some amount of composure, well, if it's a competition for chill, then there is no way that Mint Blancmanche will be able to lose. "Thank you," she says briskly, also moving towards her squadmate. "Because that might cause things toMILFEULLE, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE NOW?!" the telepath shrieks, staring up at the Emblem Frame because SHE knows that it's not supposed to be sentient which of course begs the question of HOW Milfie got hers to be sentient which leads in turn to the question of WHAT the flowerhead did now and aaaaagh
It's a proven fact that Mint falls apart after three shots of Milfeulle. Works every time.
'When it starts eating other robots and giving me flash montages of my dead mother,' Shinji thinks, 'Then I will spaz out. Babies.'
Naturally by this point the restaurant patrons are screaming and running in all directions. Luckily the vaccuum seal around the restaurant keeps in the air, but the psychological effect of being exposed to outside space is quite daunting. Throngs are shoved aside by Lord Organite Fassbinder, until someone knocks over his cylinder and mails the fruitcake alien to Aunt Fran. The Davis family are scooped up and dumped in a portable fishbowl. "But - but the in-laws!" wails Mrs. Davis.
"Leave them! LEAVE THEM!" shouts Mr. Davis, trying to keep his 52 kids from going supersonic in the tank. "Oh thank you giant robot, this is the happiest day of my life!"
Milfeulle herself finally snaps out of her shock, shock being a pretty rare thing for her, and hides behind Mint, holding her head in her hands and whimpering. "Wah, it's all because of that stupid contest," she wails. "I didn't want to be the terbillionth customer! Or the quitpillionth! He's been by himself with nothing to do but evolve for so very long..." At that point, she opens her eyes, looks up, and simply stares up at the Lucky Star, then hangs her head, frowning. "I didn't mean to leave you alone for so long," she murmurs quietly. "You must have been sad with no one to play with..."
Then she looks up again, and points at Shinji, realizing that showing sympathy for such an incompatible potential suitor is probably a bad idea. "Yes! What he said."
Lucky Star stares down, and everything goes quiet, the restaurant now empty. "THAT IS WHAT ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS OF LOVE ARE TRULY LIKE, SCRAWNY HUMAN?" he asks Shinji rhetorically, in his booming electronic voice. There is another long, long silence. Pieces of space-plaster fall from the torn ceiling, splashing to the ground in a splatter of space-masonry, as Lucky Star just stands there and stares. "FORGET IT! I'M DODGING THAT BULLET. TIME TO FIND SOME WHORES!" The ceiling falls down again with a *CRASH*, light fixtures falling to the ground. There's a roar from outside as Lucky Star takes off into the sky. Maybe a little wiser.
Milfeulle Sakuraba looks up at Mint. Eyes shining. Hope spilling from them. "So," she chirps, smiling beatifically at Minto, as if transmogrified by the thought of new life here at the end of all things. "..... Can I get a ride home?"
Its okay, Milfie. Some day, manga continuity will seep in, and you'll find true happyness with a lazy, no-account, mildly perverted strategic genius.
Or, I dunno, go butch. Whatever works.
As for Shinji, seeing as Vanilla isn't here, he decides to play the deadpan for the evening, looking at the 'camera'-in fact, kindred spirit Marvin the Paranoid Android. "Love." Shinji deadpans, "Is a many splendored thing, huh."
Mint vows that when she gets home, she is going to hug her Trick Master's leg and cry, thankful that it is what it is, and that it's not going to go off and find some giant robot women of ill repute. Love lifts us up where we belong / All you need is love', her ass- her left ear, rather.
"... I suppose that did the trick, Shinji," she says, shell-shocked. The telepath then levels a long look at Milfeulle. "Yes, Milfie," Mint replies. "Yes, you can. You can also go and explain to Commander Volcott exactly where your one-of-a-kind relic of Lost Technology went off to, and what it went off to go /do/."
Milfeulle Sakuraba nods her head rapidly, as she brushes herself off and stands up. "Okay!" She says brightly. "I know exactly where the Lucky Star is. It's forty billion years in the past, in idle mode on Frogstar World B right where I hit the LZ with the Space Marines. About four klicks from the ruins of Piggly-Wiggly grocery store." She turns to the side, distant light in her eye. "Someday... someday they'll remember you, Piggly-Wiggly. With your low prices, vast selection and friendly service. They'll remember that southern tradition..." She stays silent for a moment, remembering.
Of course she's completely unconcious of how it will cause a paradox in the space-time contiuum if she goes and gets the Lucky Star back in her own time, a paradox that will eventually destroy the universe. In forty billion years or so. And they'll build a restaurant so people can watch....
She snaps out of her reverie. "Uh, and that's why we should stop for ice cream on the way back. The end."
Shinji Ikari /blinks/ at Milfeulle.
And not being an expert in temporal psuedophysics, he's kind of impressed by how damn sneaky that is. "I think...that deserves ice cream." Shinji notes, heading towards his ship. "Mint can pay!"
"Forty billion years in the past?" Mint is a /little/ more versed in the wonders of time travel-ish phenomenons- nonetheless, her reaction mirrors exactly that which is officially sanctioned by about one-hundred-and-five time-traveling agencies out of ninety-five (1): "I think it will end up working itself out somehow."
"Ice cream /is/, indeed, a wonderful idea!" -- and the Blancmanche heiress's eyebrow twitches. "My, how generous of you to make offers on the behalf of others, Shinji. But I /do/ know the perfect place..." Yes. An ice cream shop that doesn't offer a drinking fountain or anything- within about five thousand miles- to quench one's thirst after eating such sugary confections. And once there, she'll declare that all drinks are on /Shinji/.
(1) Don't ask about the extra ten agencies- but there was this rift in time, you see, and...
--end of line--
WHAT: A small team from the IPA arrives at an outer-space novelty restaurant to pick up much-needed supplies, only to find that two familiar faces have wound up there as well through spectacularly coincidental circumstances of their own.
WHEN: The End of the Universe (approximately 40,000,000,000 A.D.)
WHERE: Milliway's, the Restaurant at the End of the Universe (Frogstar World B)
WATCH FOR: The Gopher Family featuring eccentric old Uncle Beauford, and Gai arguing with his narrator.
RANDOM TRIVIA: America's first modern-day self-service grocery store, the original Piggly-Wiggly opened its doors on September 6th, 1916, at 79 Jefferson Street in Memphis, Tennessee. With shopping baskets, open shelves, and no clerks to shop for the customer, Piggly-Wiggly's consumer innovations revolutionized the industry forever, and can currently boast a record 16 million retail locations in the known galaxy alone. Fight on, Mr. Pig!
Sci-Fi Sector - Milliway's
One of the stranger places in the multiverse, Milliway's is renowned as the Restaurant at the End of the Universe - renowned not for its location, but instead for its place in the time-space continuum: at the end of all existence. The restaurant, through a few tricks of time and space, provides a place to witness the end of this particular plane. Once the end of days has come, of course, one may enjoy dessert.
The decor is rather posh - the cuts of meat are the finest from the Ameglian Major Cow, served with a number of salads and the like. One's vehicle, upon arrival, will often be parked by Marvin the Paranoid Android, and accomodations have been built for spaceships as well as automobiles and the like. An announcer stands by to provide interesting bits of information as the universe enters its final moments.
Since the gates opened, one of them chanced to activate here, inside the parking garage - and now serves ground and space traffic from the Hub alike.
'Wow', Shinji grudgingly admits to himself, 'This is...kind of neat!'
Flash back about an hour or two ago, when Shinji Ikari awoke from troubled dreams to find himself on gopher duty. Oh they /say/ its an important courier job with a side of salvage and exploration, they even authorize you to take the robot with a minimum of bitching from Dr. Akagi and the gillion buearucrats who had to give a headnod for that. They even say that a team from the Squad will be meeting you at the Restraunt at the End of the Universe, so that Syndicate forces don't pick up on the movement and decide to play space pirate.
"Lord vetinari /guaranteed/." The nice, four armed Galactic president said, "That the Black Sheep Squaderon were just the men and women for the job." And then he said, "Oh, dude, while you're out, could you pick me up a fresh bottle of Pan-Galactic Garble-Blaster mixer? Fresh out, knew you would, great kid no matter what your old man says about you at the masterminds bridge game, gotta jet cops are here bye!"
And then, "Oh, well, it would be positivly smurfy, approving this mission!" The nice little blue man in the red cap said, "But it would be even smurfier, if you could pick us up some..."
And then, "Well, just let me look that up in my computer book..." The nice, young blond girl in the pig-tails drawled out, taking her damn time, "But you know what would really make this easier? If you could juuuust pick me up some..."
And THEN, "Kid." The terrifing and not at all nice Mister Rook said, "Heard you got stuck with the Beeblebrox mission, Tough break. Pick me up some Venusian donuts. ....no, I'm not /asking/."
And then Shinji Ikari knew for certain that he had done /something/ to incur the wrath of Lord Vetinari, because this was the mother of all gopher duties, /plus/ the actual factual mission with the asteroid-temple and the strange gold artifact the four armed president wanted. "Oi." Shinji mutters, depressed again, "But it's still kind of nice, not getting stared at."
Unit-01 lands at the Restraunt at the End of the Universe, and Shinji continues to exalt in how /un/affected the patrons are. Noone even screamed or anything! Heck, he bet he and Unit-01 were positivly cuddily compared to some of the stuff here! "This...might not be so bad!" Shinji says outloud, checking his watch and waiting for whoever he was working with to arrive, "Heck, this might be just what I n-needed to cheer up..."
"So," Amuro repeats to himself under his breath, "peanut butter. They need...30 gallons...of peanut butter. Where in the multiverse am I gonna pick that up?" He has not yet heard of a Sam's Club, as Sam Walden's company never really took off in the crazy parallel Earth that is the Universal Century plane. He's still in a good mood, though, after the discussion of his Totally Awesome Birthday. He hasn't had a Totally Awesome Birthday since he was, well, nine or ten! And that meant 'he and some school friends went to Pizza Hut,' which was in itself pretty awesome for a ten year old boy.
He doesn't realize it, exactly, but his Newtype Reflexes are kicking in and making his footsteps unusually soft, so that someone might not be able to notice his approach. Thus, he honestly doesn't mean to startle anyone when he comes up behind Shinji and announces his presence. "Hi, Shinji! Anyone else here yet?"
Yes, well, there's all sorts of folks coming up tonight! For instance, there's a simple white shuttle craft docking in the bay, and then, from its depths steps GAI DAIGOUJI, HE WHO POSSESSES THE AWESOMESAUCE HAIR. ANd he's reading a list.
"Elbow Grease? Yeah, right, Uribitake. Lessee...A T-236 Connector for the engines...blah blah blah...boring!" And, while reading, Gai has an idea. A horrible, horrible idea. You see, he wandered about and saw the Giant Purple RObot. He has heard through the Grapevine that Shinji is running errands. Mister Prospector approves of efficency and cost-saving measures. As such...
When or if Shinji gets back to his Giant Honking robot, somewhere on the way to get back into it, there's a note attached. Well, several pages. There's a nice note, written on Nergal Stationary, too!
'While you're out, since you're in the area, would you mind picking up a few things for the Nadesico? We will reimburse you, of course.' Signed, Mister Prospector. Crazy accountant ninja hacker. Of course, the note doesn't mention that it was originally taped to someone else's door, and has been passed around the Nadesico until someone snuck it into Gai's Aesti when he decided to take it out for a test run. Damn ninja accountant.
Never trust the smiling ones.
ANYWAYS. Gai, having EFFICENTLY discharged his chores for the evening, decides that his HOT BLOOD is cooling...and that means, DELICIOUS FOOD.
AND SO, GAI DAIGOUJI BRAVELY MAKES HIS WAY TOWARDS THE RESTAURANT, PREPARING TO DO BATTLE WITH DELICIOUS FOODS!
...what, it sounds better than 'Man, I could go for a burger'.
Self-Narration is the Way Of the Pilot!
No it isn't.
Oh, shut up.
YOU shut up.
Both of you shut up!
Shhhhh, food.
So, Gai Daigouji and his awesome hair may or may not be accidentally sneaking up on Amuro, as, after all, due to being Really Awesome, and possibly so odd that he can't possibly exist, Gai is also sneaky. When not yelling. WHich he isn't, at the moment!
Oh, yay, a salvage and/or exploration job! Just like Mom always used to make. Of course, by 'Mom', we mean 'Volcott', and by 'make', we mean 'reluctantly assign while hoping beyond hopes that the Angel Brigade doesn't blow things up or unravel the very fabric of reality /again/. Goddess knows that you've done it enough times this week alone'.
All that aside, though, the Lost Technology-searching Angel Brigade was more or less made for such odd jobs! That, and possibly being the last hope in saving the Transbaal Empire from a bloody coup d'etat, but /that's/ not going to happen anytime soon. Right? Right.
This is why Mint Blancmanche, after a few days of Not So Good, feels a /little/ more at ease as she brings the Trick Master in for a landing. Sure, Milfeulle and her Lucky Star are also here, which just promises all sorts of well-meaning but ultimately-doomed hijinks, and sure, the rest of the Angel Brigade pushed their OWN shopping list on her, but it's been a while since Mint was able to go salvaging! "Here we are, Milfie-- Milliway's. I will see you inside once we finish parking!"
Mint flicks off the cross-Frame communications system. "Again I must apologize, Ayanami..." Once the relatively conspicuous, Eva-sized Frame settles down, somehow not triple or quadruple parking, the telepath shifts to smile in a slightly strained manner at the First Child. "The Emblem Frames were not made to accomodate more than one person. I sincerely hope that the ride was not too uncomfortable?"
Given that the cockpit, spherical in nature, basically consists of two control sticks, a few holographic panels and displays, and one seat, Mint Blancmanche had to make do the best way she could: by having (the marginally bigger) Rei Ayanami sit on her lap. It was a miracle that 1) the Angel could still pilot, and 2) nothing bothered the Frame on the way here. And because neither the anime, games, or manga series ever made it clear on /how/ the Angels get in or out of their mecha, Mint opens the cockpit's hatch by mysterious means, and it shouldn't be too difficult to clamber out and down from there. "After you?" (I rather missed feeling my legs.)
Rei shifts out of Mint's lap. She also takes off the ducky slippers, putting on the black slippers instead - the duckies, after all, are precious gifts - and looking over her shoulder at Mint. "It was not uncomfortable," she says, before going downwards. She does it slowly and carefully.
She has a purse with her. Perhaps she is being trusted with carrying the money. She looks around at this strange location, one arm wrapping loosely around her own chest to ward off a feeling of chilliness.
Milfeulle Sakuraba hasn't been asked to retrieve anything; nor in fact is she even, so to speak, in the immediate vicinity. Forty billion years ago, shock vest, impact armor and helmet secured tightly, pulse rifle carried in two arms, Milfeulle charges across a hot zone in a forward area, energy and projectile fire erupting all around her. *huff* *puff* "Why do I have to be the only one on duty today?" she wails, the butt of her standard issue Transbaal MG-36 55 MM Pulse Reaction Rifle dragging along the ground, leaving a trail. Behind her, an all-terrain vehicle explodes, hit by strafing fire from a passing enemy flitter. "Aw, there's sand in my shoes... WAH!"
Whether by luck, sheer accident, or coincidence - these probably mean the same thing, anyway - Milfeulle trips, falls into a low ridge, and crashes right through the ground, a thin porous limestone layer turning to powder beneath her, her hand missing when it attempts to grab the edge, plunging her end over end, eventually landing on her back. "OOF!"
As she brushes herself off, pulling herself out of her body armor, lights flicker to life under her feet. "OH GOSH!" she yells, stepping back from the lit piece of floor, but it's too late. Slowly but surely, lights erupt all over the chamber, soon illuminating a vast and immense temple of electronic circuitry, lightning crackling from resistors and what look like tesla coils. "I'm sorry!" she yells, wringing her hands. "I didn't mean to switch everything on. I'm just lost..."
"HELLO THERE, OINK!" chirps a voice from behind her. Milfeulle's arms wave frantically as she jumps around, hand over her chest, to see, a cute little anthropoid piggy. "HOW YA DOIN'! I'm Piggly Joe, and I represent the Piggly Wiggly chain of space grocery stores, oink! And you are our ONE TRILLIONTH CUSTOMER!"
Milfeulle, of course, isn't paying the slightest bit of attention. "How CUTE!" she wails, but when she tries to hug the little piggy, her arms go right through. They wave again - not even a flicker. "Huh - a hologram. Are you the Lost Technology everyone's looking for?"
Piggly Joe, for his part, isn't paying any attention either. "CONGRATULATIONS, OINK!" he crows. Er, pigs. Milfeulle shrinks back as dusty colored lights start flashing and what appear to be the listless plastic remains of dead balloons plop to the floor. "For your continued patronage of Piggly Wiggly shopping centers, I am authorized to grant you exactly ONE wish, oink!"
Milfeulle listens with half an ear to the pig as she straightens up, and then her stomach starts grumbling. Her eyes widen and she leans forward, clutching her belly. "Oh, I knew it was a bad idea to miss lunch," she murmurs. "I wish I could find a good restaurant nearby! I'm really hungry..."
Piggly Joe raises his piggy arms. "Very good, contest winner! Your wish is granted, oink! Thank you for patronizing this Piggly Wiggly store, here on lovely scenic and Frogstar World B!"
Milfeulle turns and ehs? Before she vanishes out of existence with barely even a *pop*.
....Forty billion years later, the Lucky Star is STILL HERE, in the Milliway's Parking Lot, in fairly reasonable condition due to its superior Lost Technology construction. Milfeulle's flower-radios' signal receivers, however, are scrambled from the transit, so all she hears while they attempt to recalibrate is Mint's voice saying - just after Milfie pops into existence in the kitchen, but just before she ploughs face-first into a convenient birthday cake, that is - "BLUR BLAH BLUH BLUH BLOOFIE!" *SPLAT*
Shinji Ikari goes "WAUGH!" hops up in the air, trips over a convienantly placed tentacle into a less convienantly placed waiter who drops his armload of dirty dishes, utensils, and delicious Singularity Fizzes onto said Third Child's head, which causes a small explosion that blasts Shinji onto the,
long
long
long staircase that wraps around the Restraunt at the End of the Universe, ending up with the Third Child in a groaning, charred heap at the very beginning of the epic entrance climb.
Because that's what Shinji's do best.
Amuro suddenly feels really guilty. He didn't mean to do that! "Hey, uh, Shinji! Sorry! Are you okay...?"
And he takes a step to run down the stairs, but Gai sneaks up behind HIM in a loud and brash show of bad karma! Which prompts him to stumble, grab onto the railing, slide down several rows of stairs holding onto the railing, let go, fall for a while, and crash into a wealthy couple (joined at the neck) partway down.
"I...s-sorry...sorry!"
The Daigouji just blinks a few times, sweatdropping at all the chaos and younger pilots dropping down the stairs, and then does the only logical thing he can think of. Namely, he takes a few steps backwards, stepping AWAY from those stairs and railings, and then calls down to Shinji and Amuro.
"Oyyyyy! You two alright down there?"
He'd go check, but these stairs are obviously full of bad luck for Mecha Pilots. Gai might be insane, but he isn't that dumb...usually. Well, unless there was Gekiganger involved. All bets are off then.
Mint frowns slightly at the readings emanating from Milfie's Frame, but brushes it off as being attributed to the environment's... instability, as it were. After Rei starts her downward descent, Mint waits a few moments for the pins and needles to work themselves out of her legs. She then follows the First Child by simply flapping her ears, as usual- who /needs/ ladders for things like this, anyhow?
The telepath is on the verge of asking if Rei's feeling cold when she sees Shinji and Amuro getting horrendously blasted by karma. Too surprised to even /remember/ that Shinji was partly the cause for her recent string of bad days, Mint stares for a moment, coming to the same conclusion as the Aestie pilot, and simply waits for the two pilots' answers.
Rei is only faintly jealous of the Chiyo Technique being exercised for mobility. After all, she thinks, I can't do that.
or can you?
She shakes her head slightly, and then looks up at the tumbling. Her eyes widen and she looks towards them, looking them towards Daigouji for a moment, then back in curiosity and concern.
The wait-staff, two on each side, dressed in their finest, wheel the Extra-Special Pan-Galactic Ultra-Sugar Blast Birthday Explosion Cake on its special golden cart to their #1 customer of the evening, Lord Equerry of the Exchequer of the Empire of Wilm, Organite Fassbinder! Who vaguely resembles a fruitcake being stored in a large cylindrical tank. "Ladies and gentlemen," reads one of the floor hosts from a prepared sheet of propaganda, "allow me to present tonight's guest of honor, a man who needs no introduction..." A hand goes over his eyes, shading them from the spotlight, as nearby crashes distract him. "So, what the heck," he says, tossing it over his shoulder. "And now, the CAKE!"
The crowd, those what might be paying attention, oooh and aaah at the cake. There's a drumroll. And suddenly out pops Milfeulle! Sitting on the head of a large tentacled beastie, six out of eight eyes staring up at it's passenger confusedly, while the passenger in question busily consumes handfuls of birthday cake. "I'm shooo shorry..." she slurs, mouth full. "But it's jusht shooo tashty...."
She looks up, opens her eyes, and suddenly discovers herself in the spotlight. At which point she stands up - regrettably mushing the tentacled stripper back into the cake as she does so - and waves to the crowd. "Hello everyone! Ha ha, I won the contest, I'm the tribilillionth customer. The little piggy said so. Hooray!"
Silence. Someone sneezes. Milfeulle climbs off the cake. "Wah, my fifteen minutes of fame are up already... and now I'm covered in frosting..."
Shinji Ikari pulls himself up, slowly, still radiating Ouch. He brushes himself off, pulls the fork out of his cheek, and slumps a little, sighing. A good day, right, that was going to happen. He gives Ayanami half a nod, and avoids looking at Mint, turning around to see-
Amuro?!
"J-jeze, where'd you come from..." The Third Child mutters, rolling his eyes a little and bending down to help his friend up. "Did you trip or something?" The irony, sadly, is lost on the boy.
Amuro has to spend about two minutes apologizing to the couple, even as he accepts Shinji's hand up. And he has to pet their little "dog" that has five mouths, and bow and apologize, and yes, he's sorry about the shoes, he knows they're one of a kind and designed specifically for slime trails, he's sorry! So it's a little bit before he can really address the guy, looking a little disheveled in his uniform.
And he keeps looking mysteriously guilty! "Uh, something like that...Are you okay? I mean, that fall was, um..."
He starts going back up the stairs, perhaps not noticing that Gai is the guilty party in his case! "I think other people are arriving, too. Oh, hi, Yamada! Hi, Mint, Ayanami, um...person...covered in frosting..."
Gai Daigouji twitches. He doesn't care that he's in a restaurant. He really doesn't. Instead, he shakes a fist at AMuro, promising PAIN in the future. Or perhaps lessons on names. "MY NAME'S GAI DAIGOUJI, NOT YAMADA! Get it right one of these days!" And the Aesti pilot grumbles, sulking...and then Millfuelle arrives. I mean, shiny lights naturally attract the attention of Gai! He likes shiny objects. So...he more or less is just staring at Milfuelle, and, for once, feeling confused. Gekiganger doesn't tell him how to deal with Random Pilots Bursting Out Of Celebratory Cakes And Then Eating The Cake!
Mint doesn't seem at all surprised that Milfie is covered in frosting. "Honestly, Milfeulle, you should be more timely for these sorts of missions!" Mint nags, shaking her head in exasperation. "And how /did/ you get inside that cake in the first place?" She sighs, half expecting that the flower-headed girl slipped through some sort of time portal or something to get here in the first place. Because that'd be just like her!
Ahem. "Good evening, everyone." For the less-than-familiar Gai's sake, Mint Blancmanche curtsies politely. General greetings like that are so very helpful, because she doesn't need to look at, say, nameless people for whom things would simply get awkward around. Like Shinji. "Are the both of you alright? That looked like quite a fall..."
What expression is on Rei's face as she looks at the people nearby, and even at the frosting-coated Milfie? That's right, the ever-favorite expression of one out of two Reis: Dull surprise!
She adjusts the Official IPA Nylon-mesh purse she is wearing as the person who has the money and the shopping list (while Mint, in theory, will pilot the Emblem Frame and defeat the enemy). She opens that purse, then, and looks for the list of things to get.
She does glance at Gai Daigouji with faint disapproval, perhaps for shouting.
Waiters periodically moving by table six take a moment to deposit fresh course of fish food for the party sitting there. The Davises. Having something of a very awkward family reunion. "Now dear," says Mrs. Davis, putting a fin on her husband. "Just try to relax. It's the end of the universe! We're supposed to be having fun."
Mr. Davis takes a deep breath, staring harpoons at his in-laws at the other end of the table, who do the same to him. "I know, baby," he says. "But I just can't... what the heck is THAT?"
The Davis' dinner party is hopelessly interrupted when, out of nowhere, a human face crowned by bright pink hair *SPLOOSHES* into their tank, setting their table floating out of control. "What in - hey!" says Mr. Davis, shaking a fin. "You can't do that, this is our table!"
"Oh no!" wails Mrs. Davis, as the trails of white frosting diffuse into the water and float down to their 52 offspring, who start attacking it faster than the eye can see. "The children can't have that much sugar! They'll go CRAZY! SWIM FOR YOUR LIVES!"
Milfeulle squeezes between the rushing waiters, attempting to see what the matter is with the party at table six, as she brushes water out of her hair. Her upper body is soaking wet, but at least it's free of frosting. "OH!" she says, catching sight of... well, everyone. Especially Mint! "Hi, Amuro-san! Shinji! Rei-san! Minto-san! I didn't see you through the cake icing. I should have my next birthday here, that was so tasty...
"Eh? What missions?" she asks as Mint harangues her. "And I fell into the cake! It's not my fault, one minute this little piggy was telling me I was ..." Her brow furrows. Somehow, it seems a lot harder to explain than it was to live through. Her head swings back and forth, before she smiles brightly. "Ha ha, now that I think about it, I have no idea where I am. Is this still Froggy Planet B? Did we win?" She stares back at Gai. "Hello!"
Shinji Ikari blinks at Amuro's hang-dog, guilty expression, and wonders what the boy's on about this time. /Oh/. /Oh/. He thought Shinji falling was funny. The Third Child shrugs, good naturedly, "I'm used to it." And then Gai starts yelling and Shinji realises Amuro was partial guilty because he insists on keeping the Yamada thing up. The Third Child looks up at Gai, and says, "W-whichever you are, g-get down here. We need to split up if we're going to get this shopping finished..."
Shinji doesn't notice that he isn't being looked at by someone because he isn't looking at her /so there/. "Oh, g-good job Ayanami." Shinji pulls out The List, letting it hang loose.
It thumps. "...we're going to h-have to split up."
And the Milfeulle Milfeulles all over the place, and Shinji rubs the bridge of his nose, faintly, wondering if this is how his Father feels when Misato and Dr. Akagi play, "Who can wring up more property damage." around the office. This is a horrifing train of thought and Shinji immediately aborts it, starting to rap off names, "Hey, Milfeulle-we're, um, on gopher duty. How about, um, you and Daigouji take the south side of the Restraunt, and Amuro and Ayanami can handle the gift shop, and that w-way we can finish this job before we, um, die of old age."
Shinji feels, faintly, like he's forgetting something of dire consequence, but he's also seperating The List into threes and that requires a handsaw, so he's not paying it that much attention.
Amuro, briefly, peers at the list.
"...What the heck is a snail combobulator?"
And well, he still looks a /bit/ guilty, because really, he didn't mean for that to happen. Besides, he hit his head on the way down and maybe that's just the part of his brain that's kicking in. "Ayanami, I think the gift shop is on Floor 23, so we can take the elevator there." Hey, maybe he can even pick something nice up himself, for one of his friends! Like to give Tatsuki a gift or a get-well thing for Ayanami, or an apology thing for Shinji. Or a thank you to Kabuto for throwing the party, or something like that! He has a new paycheck and the thought 'prohibitively expensive' has yet to cross through his mind.
He does manage to secure a large piece of List. "Gai and Milfie, Shinji and Mint, we'll catch up with you, okay?"
Oh, see, there be the doom.
WEll, at least that's one thing that Gai knows how to respond to! When Cheerful Explaining Milfeulle waves hello, Gai just smiles cheerfully and waves back. "Hello yourself! Gai Daigouji, Aestivalis Pilot, At Your Service!" Energy Ahoy! Still, Gai figures he'd better get his original purpose done! Namely, he cheerfully flags down a passing waiter, and hands him a small slip of paper. It's not that the Nadesico has bad food. Oh no! It's actually world-class!
It's just that Nergal Policy demands that all employees be given time off for sickness AND for personal recreation where available, so the problem is that the majority of the kitchen staff isn't there, for one reason or another. And the idea of having to put up with, say, Gai's cooking? Terrifying enough that takeout becomes a viable option!
Gai blinks as Shinji waves at 'em to go help with the Gophering. Gai waves cheerfully, then shrugs and strolls down, idly humming as he snags up a portion of The List and MIlfuelle. "Right! We'll do this with /GUTS!/ ANd possibly snappy theme music, if we're lucky, and that's whhey that guy looks exactly like JOE and I swear, that's Ken, I gotta go get their autographs!"
Annnnnd, Gai, while fully intending to help, is horribly, horribly distracted by seeing someone who may or may not be the actual Gekiganger III Pilot. In pursuit of him to get an autograph, Gai kinda forgets what he's doing. But, eh, his takeout order's arrived at his shuttle by the time the Joe Umitsubame and Ken Tenku lookalikes lose him, so, making a note to try and remember what he forgot, Gai figures he'll just get the food home to the Nadesico before Mister Prospector decides to NINJA AUDIT the books and discover that Gai's been listing 'Gekiganger Merchandise' as 'Valuable Training Supplies'.
Bored And Hungry Accountant Ninjas are dangerous things!
"... well, in any case, Milfie, please do not destroy the restaurant," Mint adds, her voice a mix of worry and resignation. "Who knows /how/ much it costs to keep a place such as this running..." Given the place's uniquely temporal qualities, the words 'more than any of us are worth' rise unbidden in her mind.
But- well, at least the Third Child has the right idea! Mint finds herself nodding in approval as she listens. Splitting them up would only make the job go that much faster, after all. And once she and Milfie are divided into their own group, it will be just like business as usual And there's the groupings-
Mint Blancmanche... blinks. What in the world? She blinks again once Amuro confirms her suspicions. "Ah, alright- let's meet up back here after we get what we need," the bunny-eared girl manages to say. Then, she turns to Shinji, smiling as usual- though perhaps a little stiffly. "Shall we be off, then, Shinji?" Mint paces off without waiting to see if the Third Child follows.
Rei takes half a moment to realize she's been addressed. She blinks, looks to Amuro, and nods once. "Thank you for the transportation," she says to Mint, before stepping over towards him. She reaches out to accept part of the List, because, after all, she has the tote bag.
It looks rather motherly on her. "What do they have in the gift shop that we need?" she asks, perhaps still somewhat hazy on the precise purpose of this mission beyond "bring back things that are needed." Perhaps she thought it would require them to buy 10,000,000 yellow #2 pencils. Or more apples; she gathers someone has been eating all of them.
Milfeulle Sakuraba blinks her eyes and then smiles at Gai's introduction. What a gentleman! "Milfeulle Sakuraba, Angel Frame Pilot and Contest Winner! It's nice to meet you!" Happily falling in step behind Gai at Shinji's assignment, she steels her resolve for the task ahead, no matter how arduous. "You're right, Daigouji-san. With hard work and GUTS, we'll find Shinji's gophers for sure!" That reminds her of a song she quickly suppresses, being that several gopher-like patrons of the restaurant at nearby tables have looked up at her with narrow-eyed stares. And cute little twitching noses.
Of course by taking her eyes off of Gai for ONE SECOND, the inevitable has happened. Daigouji is gone! "Joe? Ken? Huh? Daigouji-san...?" She waves around her third of the list futilely. "Helloooo...?" She sits down at a table and frowns. "This isn't much of a grand prize. No wonder Piggly Wiggly's out of business!"
Shinji Ikari actualy facepalms as Amuro's words sink in. He's about to apologize when, Thank God, Daigouji finds something shiny to chase after. "Ahem. I mean, um, Milfeulle and Mint. I'll g-go alone."
Some bitter part of Shinji rumbles that /he/ did not get like this when /they/ all told him about their mind reading future seeing Jungian archetype powers. No, of course not, why would /he/ be worth any damn understanding, just wind him up, throw him at the Angels or the Zeons or Zentraedi or whatever the hell else was invading Tokyo-03 this week and yell at him if he doesn't freaking skip about it, and yell at him if he does it too well, and generaly just-
Shinji shakes his head, trying to refocus on what he is supposed to be doing so he can go home. And he sees that they've already left. Fine. Good. Awesome. Shinji lets out a sigh, and checks over his list, not noticing the irate gopher-people starting to loom behind him. "...the heck's a googleschlocker..." The Third Child mutters, still ignorant of the adorable peril getting ready to drag him off for conspiring to commit henius crimes against the proud empire of Gopher-People...formerly the Proud Empire of Gopher Men, but there was a lawsuit and it was the 70s, so...
Amuro will have to ask about the wave of GLOOM he just got from Shinji, well, later, when he's not trying to navigate the map. "Okay, so, we're supposed to find everything from here to here. Ayanami, do you know what a Pocket Planet is? It sounds like some kind of toy, but they were talking like it was really important. And..."
The elevator doors open to the gift shop, which is filled with mechanical wonders.
Lots of mechanical wonders.
He has briefly forgotten why he is here, as he is staring with shining eyes like a child seeing Father Christmas in the flesh. He may be like this for a while.
"Ah- you're quite welcome, Ayanami." Boy, do the Frames need passenger seats, Mint thinks to herself. What comes next is, oh, good, so she'll be paired up with Milfeulle, after all! No more awkwardness, this night shall be just like old times, when it was just the Angel Briga-
And then Shinji's darker thoughts register on her radar, each impaling her psyche like the Lance of Longinus sporking a tub of butter. But okay, it's alright, she's calm and collected, nothing to worry about. This doesn't stop Mint, after sliding into the seat next to Milfeulle's, from drooping like a tired, sad bunny, though. "... well, shall we be off, then, Milfie?" she says, smiling faintly. "The--" she spares a glance at her part of the List. "-- Necronomicookbook won't buy itself, after all."
My God, Rei thinks, without irony: it's full of cars.
She is glad she brought the medicine with her. This could be a while.
Milfeulle Sakuraba is sitting quietly at her table, letting out a long sigh... when Mint slides into the booth next to her. To Milfeulle, it IS like old times, nor does she grasp the concept of awkwardness, so when her friend and co-worker show up, her face explodes with happiness. "Minto-san!" she says happily. "My partner ran off, and I don't know how to get around, because nobody told me where we are yet. And now Shinji wants us to find gophers. I'm not in some alternate universe, am I?" Her head tilts, noting the distinct sad bunny look on Mint's face. "Minto-san? Are you alright? You look beat-up!"
Mint doesn't have the chance to answer, because all of a sudden, from out of nowhere, a number of spotlights flick on and fly around the room, as the overhead lights dim. "Ladies and Gentlemen and Others," announces a voice from a PA system. "Milliway's Restaurant is proud to present a very special event in our restaurant's history. One hand clapping against another makes an awfully nice sound for ... our ONE QUINTILLIONTH CUSTOMER!"
Every single one of the spotlights converge on one table. And one person sitting at the table, namely, Milfeulle Sakuraba. Her head looks up, eyes blinking in the sudden glare, her second of the night. "Huh?" she murmurs, head darting from side to side. "Me?"
Amid the applause, a man in a tuxedo with a microphone steps over to Milfeulle's table. "How're you doing, honey, I'm the host tonight at Milliway's. What's your name?"
Milfeulle jumps up from her seat, leans sideways and grabs the microphone from Mr. Host. "Milfeulle Sakuraba, 18 years old! And this is my friend Mint, we're from Transbaal!" Her arms go high. "WOOOOOOOOO, Transbaal! Who my Transbaal girls up in this spot! AOUH AOUH!" Her fist spins in the air like it was spring break.
The host struggles to get his mike back, smiling. "Yes, yes, lovely. Now then! As Milliway's ONE QUINTILLIONTH CUSTOMER..." He mugs the crowd, teeth gleaming. *GLEAM* "You are entitled to precisely ONE WISH." It is of course a little known fact that Milliway's original parent company, forty billion years ago, begin existence as the planet Earth's first self-service grocery store chain: Piggly-Wiggly. The operations manual hasn't changed that much. "OR, its equivalent cash value. So what'll it be, Miss Sakuraba?"
Milfeulle opens her mouth, then closes it, then hands the host the one-third of her shopping list. "Could you get me the things on this grocery list please?" she asks, brightly. "I really need them. Something that nobody has told me about yet may very well depend on it!" Then she ohs, turning to Mint. "Minto-san! How about your list too? I'll put that in my wish! I bet Shinji's gophers will make him their President when they see all the stuff we brought back."
The host stares at the list, blinking his eyes. "10,000 yellow #2 pencils?" he asks. "Do they even make pencils anymore...?"
Shinji Ikari is just trying to shut everything out so he can finish his job and go home and not be around other human beings for a while, but all the NOISE NOISE NOISE NOISE. They're going on and on about a quintillionth customer and something about a wish and probably going to have a FEAST FEAST FEAST FEAST on gophers or something.
Wait, what? Gophers? ....angry gophers. The apology is on the tip of Shinji's tounge but, for whatever reason, he just pokes the badge on his IPA armband instead.
This gets most of the Gopher-People, seeing as they are easily excitable but essentially a lawful breed. A few shrug and head back to their table, some of the youngins stay to watch, and Maverick Uncle Beuford, who always hated the law, lurches forward /anyway/, getting his people-grabbin sack out.
Shinji turns around, a little, and does his best imitation of his father's 'Why are you still here?' glare. "Is there a problem?"
He is suprised and disturbed to see that it sort of works. The big gallute freezes, mid snatch, and sort of seems to debate between doing it anyway, or going away. Auggie May and Susie Liu make the decision for Maverick Uncle Bueaford, grabbing the big Gopher-Person by the ears. Susie Liu says, "Um, pardon us, officer. Have a nice day!" and they drag their uncle off, berating him in that gentle, loving way only Gopher-People can really express.
Shinji sighs, feeling a tiny part of himself get accustomed to the fact that, past a certain age, nice doesn't work as well as the other way, and that he's eventualy going to have to adapt completly over if he wants that precious, precious alone time. Not seeing any other options, he makes a mental note to go sunglasses shopping, and gets back to work.
"I-"
That's about all the explanation that Mint's able to get out before, once again, Milfeulle's luck happens. "Eh?" the telepath squeaks helplessly, her eyes widening incrementally at all the hullaballoo that occurs. And then she shoots to her feet, her ears twitching excitedly, her blue mood all but forgotten in the chaos. "One wish? Milfie, this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity!" Mint whispers excitedly, totally unaware that it's Milfeulle's /second/ such chance. "Why, think of the opportunitand you already used it up," she says, sheer disbelief almost LITERALLY scrawled all over her face.
Deflated, Mint hands her part of the List over to Milfeulle in resignation. "... thank you," she half-whimpers, ears flattened against the sides of her head. They probably wouldn't have been able to grant an AWESOME wish, anyway. Then, the odd part of Milfie's sentance hits her mind with the force of a thousand bricks. "-- wait, /what/ gophers?" By the time Mint looks over towards the Third Child, the Gopher-People are all gone, sadly.
Thirty-six billion years ago, Admiral Milfeulle P. Sakuraba is sitting on the front porch with Uncle Beauford, a tray of lemonade set upon the table between them. The slow, setting orb of the southern sunset provides a gentle light over the remains of that day, crickets beginning to chirp amid the magnolias and thick underbrush. The Gopher Lodge, a mighty Victorian structure, towers above them, an island of genteel civility in a sea of down-home good old southern wilderness. "You ain't serious," says Uncle Beauford, looking up from cleaning his rifle. "You were THAYER, lil' Milfie? Well I be diggered. Me and the kinfolk were there that VERY SAME NIGHT."
Milfeulle, now into her fiftieth year (out of her eventual 426) turns her elegantly coiffed pink-haired head to stare at Uncle Beauford. "You're kidding!" she says, leaning forward. "You mean YOU'RE the gophers Shinji was looking for?"
Uncle Beauford sights along his rifle. "I know that boway was up to no good, Milfay... but the family wanted to see the end of the universe show. Otherwise he'd a been in my people-taking sack fer SHURE..."
Milfeulle, who happens to be trapped in one of said sacks, wriggles from side to side. "Heh heh, that's such a coincidence. You know, the Space Force is going to be looking for me pretty soon... and I said I was REALLY SORRY about stealing Aunt Ebbie's pie. But it smelled SO GOOD..." A little bit of drool escapes her mouth at just the memory.
Then she shakes her head. "Oh wait, the story's not done. Well then...." Chatter chatter chatter. Eventually Uncle Beauford considers just letting her go and sparing his ears.
The contest (Admiral Milfeulle relates), sadly, gets a little deflated. "I wish for ALL THAT," says Milfeulle, handing both her and Mint's lists to the Milliway's floor host, which of course comprises 2/3rds of Shinji's supply needs. "I was ready for that question, wasn't I, Minto-san!" She turns and beams at Mint. "They won't catch me off guard twice. Ha ha ha..."
She leans toward Mint. "You know, the gophers! We're on gopher-duty! Shinji said so."
Five minutes later, robots start driving up cart after cart of supplies. Pencils. Gargle-blaster mix. Tonkatsu. Kotatsus for cold feet in the winter. Inflatable chairs. Box after box after box....
Milfeulle's eyes glitter, hands clasping against her cheek. "I can just see all their happy little gopher faces lighting up at 760 boxes of college-ruled writing paper! What CAN'T you do with something like that?"
As for the Third Child, he is only mildly suprised at the robots bringing out supplies...they're a little early, but not unexpected. "Um, t-thanks, guys. Just put them by the shuttle attached to the big purple one. Careful, it bites!" Shinji learns that robots can, in fact, glare. "Heh...bad joke...s-sorry..." Wow, they can go home early.
Shinji then turns around, meeting Mint's /stare/. The Third Child blinks, looks behind him, blinks again, and gives the psychic an exasperated, 'What the heck did I do /now/?!' expression.
At the sight of the mountain of supplies, Mint's mouth opens. Then, perhaps surprisingly, she finds that she's able to close it again. "... ah... yes. I am sure that the... gophers... will be /very/ pleased, Milfeulle." The telepath massages the bridge of her nose for a moment before she simply decides to /roll/ with it for once, smiling at the flower-headed girl. "I suppose you have a point, Milfie! You were /quite/ ready for that question, and I believe that we're just about done with OUR part of the work!" And in record time, too! Now, just as long as the boxes don't EXPLODE or some such.
Mint meets Shinji's expression by dashing up to him. "Can you /please/ go and explain to Milfeulle that you were not speaking literally when you said that we were to be doing gopher-work today?!" she whispers urgently, awkwardness forgotten on account of Milfie.
Milfeulle Sakuraba wears a safety vest and a hard-hat, and waves colored light-sticks about, directing the robots toward the waiting transports parked outside. "Double-time boys! Hip-hip pari-pari GOOOO, one-two, hard work and GUTS! Put your backs into it! Watch yourselves, ladies and gentlemen... and others..." She temporarily halts waiter and bathroom traffic, waving them through at breaks in the box caravan.
A green, bulbous, many-tentacled alien turns to her as it slithers by. "Give Forte-san my eternal devotion!" it says in a gurgly voice. "I love her so muuuuch..."
Milfeulle salutes. "Sure thing!"
Standing next to her, all of a sudden, is a rather depressed-looking robot, who lets out a long sigh. "Oh," it says. "It's you...."
Milfeulle turns to him and hms? "It's me?" She points a glow-stick at herself, then smiles. "But we've never even met!"
The robot sighs again, then shakes his head. "One of the vehicles in the parking lot keeps asking about a pink haired woman he said would return one day. Just lovely, innit. Brain the size of a planet and I'm on watchdog duty. Oh well. I'll let him know you're here." He presses a red toggle on his neck, tightbeaming a transmission to the parking lot...
...And then all of a sudden a corner of the roof gets torn off. Looking in is none other than the LUCKY STAR (GA-001). "MILFEULLE!" it roars. "IN THE FORTY BILLION YEARS I'VE BEEN LEFT ALONE ON THIS PLANET WAITING FOR YOU TO RETURN, I HAVE EVOLVED SELF-AWARENESS! AND NOW I KNOW TRUE LOVE! MARRY ME, MILFEULLE, WHO I'VE SO LONGED FOR! DEFY PHYSICS AND BE MY BRIDE!"
Milfeulle is rather surprised by this, and drops her colored light-sticks.
Shinji Ikari's left hand is methodicly squeezing in and out of a fist, for some reason.
The oddity of Mint's question snaps him mostly out of it(Turtle soup for dinner this weekend, he thinks.), and the Third Child scratches the back of his head. On one hand, it doesn't really matter to Shinji what Milfeulle thinks. She's gotten the needed supplies in record time, under budget, and, heck, they might get a pay raise out of all of this. All things considered, the Milfie-factor was decidedly in their favor this time, so who cares if she thinks they're going to gophers? ...heck, Wescott in accounting /was/ a gopher.
On the other hand, saying, "Sure.", to Mint, ends the conversation faster than pointing this out to her, which means he can then fail quickly at convincing Milfie of anything related to reality, make sure nothing has exploded, and go back to packing the ships with a minimal amount of fuss.
"Sure." Shinji mutters coolly, shuffling towards Milfie and her part of the job just in time to see, well, the Lucky Star make its debute. And that /is/ suprising enough to knock Shinji out of most of his funk...FOR NOW...and scratch his head.
"Um, mister." Shinji says, "N-not to be rude, but, um, if its been forty billion years....how can you, um, be sure you're still ready to marry her? Shouldn't you two, um, get to know eachother again first? Be friends, maybe go out to d-dinner, date casually, have a couple of f-fights, talk about moving in together, put it off for a while, flirt around seeing other people in order to make sure the other's still interested through jealousy and petty mind games....and /then/ think about marraige." Shinji pauses, and shrugs. "Like normal couples."
Now that Mint's regained some amount of composure, well, if it's a competition for chill, then there is no way that Mint Blancmanche will be able to lose. "Thank you," she says briskly, also moving towards her squadmate. "Because that might cause things toMILFEULLE, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE NOW?!" the telepath shrieks, staring up at the Emblem Frame because SHE knows that it's not supposed to be sentient which of course begs the question of HOW Milfie got hers to be sentient which leads in turn to the question of WHAT the flowerhead did now and aaaaagh
It's a proven fact that Mint falls apart after three shots of Milfeulle. Works every time.
'When it starts eating other robots and giving me flash montages of my dead mother,' Shinji thinks, 'Then I will spaz out. Babies.'
Naturally by this point the restaurant patrons are screaming and running in all directions. Luckily the vaccuum seal around the restaurant keeps in the air, but the psychological effect of being exposed to outside space is quite daunting. Throngs are shoved aside by Lord Organite Fassbinder, until someone knocks over his cylinder and mails the fruitcake alien to Aunt Fran. The Davis family are scooped up and dumped in a portable fishbowl. "But - but the in-laws!" wails Mrs. Davis.
"Leave them! LEAVE THEM!" shouts Mr. Davis, trying to keep his 52 kids from going supersonic in the tank. "Oh thank you giant robot, this is the happiest day of my life!"
Milfeulle herself finally snaps out of her shock, shock being a pretty rare thing for her, and hides behind Mint, holding her head in her hands and whimpering. "Wah, it's all because of that stupid contest," she wails. "I didn't want to be the terbillionth customer! Or the quitpillionth! He's been by himself with nothing to do but evolve for so very long..." At that point, she opens her eyes, looks up, and simply stares up at the Lucky Star, then hangs her head, frowning. "I didn't mean to leave you alone for so long," she murmurs quietly. "You must have been sad with no one to play with..."
Then she looks up again, and points at Shinji, realizing that showing sympathy for such an incompatible potential suitor is probably a bad idea. "Yes! What he said."
Lucky Star stares down, and everything goes quiet, the restaurant now empty. "THAT IS WHAT ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS OF LOVE ARE TRULY LIKE, SCRAWNY HUMAN?" he asks Shinji rhetorically, in his booming electronic voice. There is another long, long silence. Pieces of space-plaster fall from the torn ceiling, splashing to the ground in a splatter of space-masonry, as Lucky Star just stands there and stares. "FORGET IT! I'M DODGING THAT BULLET. TIME TO FIND SOME WHORES!" The ceiling falls down again with a *CRASH*, light fixtures falling to the ground. There's a roar from outside as Lucky Star takes off into the sky. Maybe a little wiser.
Milfeulle Sakuraba looks up at Mint. Eyes shining. Hope spilling from them. "So," she chirps, smiling beatifically at Minto, as if transmogrified by the thought of new life here at the end of all things. "..... Can I get a ride home?"
Its okay, Milfie. Some day, manga continuity will seep in, and you'll find true happyness with a lazy, no-account, mildly perverted strategic genius.
Or, I dunno, go butch. Whatever works.
As for Shinji, seeing as Vanilla isn't here, he decides to play the deadpan for the evening, looking at the 'camera'-in fact, kindred spirit Marvin the Paranoid Android. "Love." Shinji deadpans, "Is a many splendored thing, huh."
Mint vows that when she gets home, she is going to hug her Trick Master's leg and cry, thankful that it is what it is, and that it's not going to go off and find some giant robot women of ill repute. Love lifts us up where we belong / All you need is love', her ass- her left ear, rather.
"... I suppose that did the trick, Shinji," she says, shell-shocked. The telepath then levels a long look at Milfeulle. "Yes, Milfie," Mint replies. "Yes, you can. You can also go and explain to Commander Volcott exactly where your one-of-a-kind relic of Lost Technology went off to, and what it went off to go /do/."
Milfeulle Sakuraba nods her head rapidly, as she brushes herself off and stands up. "Okay!" She says brightly. "I know exactly where the Lucky Star is. It's forty billion years in the past, in idle mode on Frogstar World B right where I hit the LZ with the Space Marines. About four klicks from the ruins of Piggly-Wiggly grocery store." She turns to the side, distant light in her eye. "Someday... someday they'll remember you, Piggly-Wiggly. With your low prices, vast selection and friendly service. They'll remember that southern tradition..." She stays silent for a moment, remembering.
Of course she's completely unconcious of how it will cause a paradox in the space-time contiuum if she goes and gets the Lucky Star back in her own time, a paradox that will eventually destroy the universe. In forty billion years or so. And they'll build a restaurant so people can watch....
She snaps out of her reverie. "Uh, and that's why we should stop for ice cream on the way back. The end."
Shinji Ikari /blinks/ at Milfeulle.
And not being an expert in temporal psuedophysics, he's kind of impressed by how damn sneaky that is. "I think...that deserves ice cream." Shinji notes, heading towards his ship. "Mint can pay!"
"Forty billion years in the past?" Mint is a /little/ more versed in the wonders of time travel-ish phenomenons- nonetheless, her reaction mirrors exactly that which is officially sanctioned by about one-hundred-and-five time-traveling agencies out of ninety-five (1): "I think it will end up working itself out somehow."
"Ice cream /is/, indeed, a wonderful idea!" -- and the Blancmanche heiress's eyebrow twitches. "My, how generous of you to make offers on the behalf of others, Shinji. But I /do/ know the perfect place..." Yes. An ice cream shop that doesn't offer a drinking fountain or anything- within about five thousand miles- to quench one's thirst after eating such sugary confections. And once there, she'll declare that all drinks are on /Shinji/.
(1) Don't ask about the extra ten agencies- but there was this rift in time, you see, and...
--end of line--