[Log] Why Singles Can Benefit From the Syndicate
WHO: Bernard Wiseman, Christina MacKenzie, Envy
WHEN: Wednesday, November 1, 2006
WHERE: Side 6, UC 0079
WHAT: Bernie tries to get Chris a dog, but due to a forgotten wallet, things get complicated.
WATCH FOR: Abusing Syndicate resources.
Bernie is waiting for Chris, once again, on Side 6. He seems a good deal more relaxed than before - after their last real chat, back in Mos Eisley, he feels a little more comfortable, even if there is a clearer picture of the long-term issues. For example, the fact she is engaged and may or may not be cheating on said fiancee with him does rest somewhere in the back of his mind.
They can figure it out, though, he hopes. The young man crosses his arms over his chest, as something catches his eye. A pet store has a few cages of puppies out in the sidewalk of the meeting area - an open air market, though inside a colony. He walks over, and looks down into a bin.
A cute little puppy, with black and white splotches and big, blue eyes looks up at him and yips. "Awww."
Meanwhile, a few blocks away, Chris walks briskly on her way to to meet with Bernie. She's a little late this time as Al thought it would be funny to start flinging around pumpkin guts and even funnier to pile it all over Christina's head ("It looks just like your hair! Only lighter!"). This, of course, called for an emergency shower before getting ready that took twice as long as usual as pumpkin guts smell is really, really hard to get out.
She could easily be powerwalking, perhaps even jogging at the place where she told Bernie to meet her. Eventually, she spots him by the pet store. "...Bernie!"
"Oh--uh, hey!" Bernie stands up and looks at her, for a moment. Is that a pumpkin seed in her hair? Strange. He furrows his brow, and then offers her a grin and scratches the back of his head. The puppy, however, leaps up and tries to nibble the side of his jacket. He frowns for a moment, before looking down at it, and back up at her. "Everything all right?"
If Chris missed one, she is likely completely unaware of its presence on her head, which will make for one awkward meeting. Will Bernie be able to resist staring at it all night long?
"Oh, everything's fine." Chris laughs. "I was helping Al carve his pumpkin and he decided to have a little fun which ended up making me late. Sorry about that!" She pauses, then peers down at the puppy. It soon becomes very, very clear that Chris is one of those women who likes animals. "Awww."
She kneels down and cups her hands to the side of the puppy's face, ruffling him. "Aren't you the /cutest/ little puppy eeeeeever? Yes you are! Yessss you are!"
"Oh! Uh, no problem." Bernie grins a little nervously and looks at the seed. Why is he looking at it? If it falls into a metaphorical pool of water, will he see his enemy clearly, and punch her fiancee in the face?
Wrong Gundam series.
He scratches the back of his head, and then looks down at the puppy. "Yeah, I saw him here! They brought out this little thing, and--well, I think they're a pet store from the other side of the colony." He ponders, for a moment. He has a lot of points with her, but raising the high score couldn't hurt. "Hey... you want him?"
The seed seems to stare back into Bernie's SOUL.
"He's /adorbable/." Chris sighs, petting the puppy behind the ears. To say she's caught off guard when Bernie pops the question adequately describes her surprised. "..w..want him? Well I...I'm not so sure...my parents have a cat and..." Would a puppy get along with a cat? Would they fight? ...well she could keep it at the SDF-1. They allow pets there, right? "..but he's so cute..."
"Well... if you want him, I can get him!" Bernie replies, cheerfully, while looking down at her. Focus on the eyes, Wiseman! You can't stare at that seed like a freak all day. What would she think, then. "It really isn't a big deal, and I wouldn't mind..."
"..r..really?" After a very quick radio converation, Chris determines that yes, the SDF-1 allows pets. Score. She can keep the puppy there so it won't fight with the cat! A smile spreads across her face. "Sure." Still grinning, she gives the puppy another pat and stands. "...hm. Maybe I should give the other puppies at least a /look/." Though based on her tone of voice, it sounds like she's already decided on /that/ puppy.
"O-of course! Take your pick!" Bernie replies, still grinning. "Besides, I don't mind..." He isn't thinking in the long-term here, though. Namely, if he gets her a puppy randomly, he will have to go above and beyond the call of duty to get her a good birthday and Christmas present. However, he isn't that experienced in the ways of women just yet. He just smiles, unknowing of his own doom - or the fact his wallet is missing.
Less than one minute later...
"..I think I want this one." The exact same puppy is indicated. If all the extras that puppies need (ie food and so on) to have has occured to Chris yet, she hasn't shown it.
T-Minus five.
Bernie smiles at her, feeling he has done well. He nods his head, and he reaches his hand backward towards his pocket.
T-Minus four.
"Aw. I like him, too," Bernie says, looking down at the little puppy. He /is/ a cute one.
T-Minus three.
His hand comes to the back of his pocket, and reaches down. His fingers slide in, and find...
T-Minus two.
...nothing.
T-Minus one.
"Oh, shit, my wallet's gone!" he says, eyes widening sharply.
Up until the announcement of certain doom, Chris doesn't seem to be paying too much attention to Bernie at the moment. No, the puppy is getting the attention, because puppies love attention.
'Oh shit, my wallet's gone!'
Then Chris looks up, her eyes widening. "Oh no! Please tell me someone didn't steal it." Not that Bernie would /know/, right? Unless he left it behind somewhere. "That's horrible!"
"I--" Bernie /wouldn't/ know that. His lips turn into a frown, and his eyes dart to the side as he thinks. He can't remember whether he put it in his pocket or not. That means it could have been left behind, however. "I can't remember putting it in my wallet," he announces. "I suppose..."
She can't buy the little guy. That would defeat the whole purpose.
"I know! If it is, it's back on the shuttle I took to came in," the blonde-haired pilot says. He looks only slightly relieved. "How about I run back and get it, then I'll get this little guy, and meet you at your place? Would that work?"
'Well I could pay for him.' /is/ one of the thoughts that comes to Chris's mind, along with 'Should I really accept such a gift from someone when I'm engaged?'. Of course 'PUPPY! PUPPYPUPPYPUPYY' starts to, er, get in the way of that. She breathes a sigh of relief. "Then maybe there's still a chance you can find it." Unless someone stole it from the shuttle.
Giving the puppy a final pat and an "I'll see /you/ later~" Chris stands. "That works. I might do a little shopping around here first before going back but I'm sure I'll be back at my house by the time you return."
"All right! Then I'll see you when I get back!" Bernie chimes, before he turns and takes off in a jog towards the spaceport. He can apparently get a good amount of speed when it's desperate - like impressing her is, in his nineteen year-old mind - and quickly vanishes down the street. A good fifteen minutes later, he finds what he hoped for: his wallet, tucked into his bag on the shuttle. It's with a sigh of relief that he takes off back to the market.
He has a triumphant grin on his face, even if he is out of breath, before he comes into the market. By now, of course, Christina is long gone. He walks in, and realizes something immediately. The market is closing down.
Then, he realizes something even worse. The pet store's stand is closed down; nothing but a little dust is left. His eyebrow twitches, and he looks at the nearest worker. "Where's that pet store located?!"
"Clear across the colony..." the janitor replies, with a sigh.
"D-Damn it!" he groans. He rubs his temples. This is not good. This is not good at all. Sure, she would understand, but would that really be impressive? She would be disappointed any way it went. And then, something occurs to him...
Kiyohime did say they were here to help him out.
[Fac-Syndicate] Bernard Wiseman says, "...hey, Envy, right? You're the guy who can turn into things?"
[Fac-Syndicate] Envy says, "Oi, me? Yeah, I'm a shapeshifter!"
[Fac-Syndicate] Bernard Wiseman says, "How... how quick can you get to Side 6, Libot Colony?"
[Fac-Syndicate] Envy says, "Pretty fast, I know a shortcut. What do ya need? Infiltration, assasination, a decoy?"
[Fac-Syndicate] Bernard Wiseman says, "...Something like that! Just get down here, and I'll explain!"
[Fac-Syndicate] Bernard Wiseman transmits coordinates.
[Fac-Syndicate] Envy says, "... Sure! Let me leave a note and I'll be right there."
[Fac-Syndicate] Bernard Wiseman says, "...Great!"
A quick call to Rent-A-Homunculus later and Bernie's salvation is now on a speedy shuttle to the Libot Colony. No time for fancy reservations, so Envy elected to ride Container Class. "Oi, this is new," he ponders with a smile as he floats weightlessly around the cargo bay, bouncing from one crate to another in cackling glee. "Whee! I haven't had this much fun since Dante let me join the Ishbal Massacre!"
Now, Bernie has Envy en route. However, waiting for Envy means he will be a little late - but he can still get the arrangement taken care of. First, he has to make /damned/ sure he can swap that puppy out later, because Envy can't live with Chris for two reasons. He rubs his chin, and then pulls out his cellphone, before setting out towards the cargo bay quickly. "Hi! I need you to put, uh, a puppy on layaway," he says. "It's the cute little one with black and white spots--yeah! You can do it? Great!"
He clicks his cellphone out of that call, and then starts a new one. At Chris' house, her phone promptly begins ringing. He gets his nervous laughter out /before/ she answers, though.$r
Meanwhile, back at Chris's parents house, which incidentally, is where Chris lives when she's at home on Side 6.
A tiny bit distraught that he's been gone so long, CHris nearly pounces on the phone but manages to restrain herself to allow it to ring twice. "Hello?" she calmly answers after the second ring.
"Chris!" Bernie says, genuinely happy to hear her. He did get caught up a little. "I'm--uh, sorry, I got held up. I'm almost done and I'll be on my way there soon," the young man says into his cellphone as he keeps along the pathway to the loading docks. Envy better be there. They won't have much time! Plus, he has to convince Envy to do this. /That/ will be a load of fun. "Everything all right on your end?"
Envy's there, though he's currently skulking in the shadows between a pair of crates like a good little shadowrunner. Hiding in plain sight works a lot better when you don't have palm-tree like hair and wear a loincloth to work. He did do a quick lookup of Bernie before he left, so he'll be able to recognize the blonde pilot in time to do a quick "Psst! Over here!" before he walks right past his hiding spot.
"Bernie!" She sighs in relief. "Oh wow, did you get to the pet store in time? You were gone so long." Turns out Chris did stay a little extra longer waiting for him (and possibly to camp her puppy) but maybe not long enough to watch the shop close.
Pacing across the room, she plops down on the couch and leans on the phone.
"Well... yeah, it took me a little bit! Had to find my wallet. I managed to, though! I'm--oh, hang on, I'll call you back in just a second!" Bernie says suddenly, as his eyes catch Envy. He can recognize him from the Zeon personnel file on their Syndicate ally. He waits for Chris to give an affirmative, then says, "Call you right back!"
Then, he covers the bottom of his phone with his hand, so she won't hear him - and looks at Envy. "Man, am I glad to see you! I have a huge favor to ask you," he says in a hushed voice.
A huge favor, eh? Envy cracks his evil grin and leans back on his mini-crate perch. "Anything for a Syndicate pal! What's the score? Need something stolen, someone eliminated..." His eyes catch the muted celphone, and though an eyebrow quirks up, his grin actually grows. "You scheduled two dates for the same night and need someone to stand in?" Been there, done that, Pride still owes him a chocolate cake.
"Oh good! You found it! That's great!" Chris sounds excited. On the couch she flops over onto her back, kicking her feet up over the armrest. "I-uh..okay!" She frowns and looks at the phone, then shrugs, setting it down on the couch beside her.
"Yeah!" Bernie says into the phone, lifting a hand up to indicate for Envy to wait with a nervous grin. "Just one second!" Then, he clicks it off, and lets out a sigh of relief, before looking right back towards the Homonculus. How to phrase it... "It's... a little closer to the last one. See, uh, I'd promised to get this puppy for a girl, and then I left my wallet back on my ship, and then...well, uh, the pet stand was closed and the store they operate out of is too far away to get to. She'll be disappointed if I don't bring a puppy back." He looks at Envy, and offers him a hopeful grin. "So..."
This is what you get for missing out on all the cool parties, Envy. Other people get to blow up starships and fight Greek gods. Your mission? You get to play a pound puppy. As disappointing as that may be, however, the other hand allows him to earn Syndicate brownie points by looking cute and panting. It's a story he can actually tell Orihime and Yuna without feeling guilty. "Oi, talk about working for table scraps." The shapeshifter rubs the back of his head for a moment, then just shrugs and nods his head with a warm smile. "Alright, I'm in. Do you have a picture or something I can work from?"
"I--" Bernie grimaces. He has to think for a moment, until he realizes something. He could get an image from the catalogue of the store on its website. "One second!" He pulls his cellphone out, quickly connecting to the local colony network, and enters numbers fast and furious. Finally, he hits one, and shows his phone to Envy: illustrating the puppy, posing cutely with its nose pointed right at the camera. "So... do you think you can do it? Really?"
Chris continues to stalk her phone. Dun dun.
A shower of alchemy sparkles later, and where Envy had been sitting is now the a cute little black and white spotted doggie. Big puppy eyes look up at Bernie, which clash with the sign currently held up by one of its paws. "Will this do?" Genma Saotome has nothing on this shapeshifter!
"Perfect!" Bernie replies with a beam. "Thanks a ton, uh--Envy, right?" he asks. He grins sheepishly and scratches the back of his head, before he reaches down and scoops up the Homonculus puppy with his arms. "Sorry, but I've gotta carry you. Also, when we get there, you know, the usual rules, look cute, don't talk, don't kill her, et cetera." He laughs nervously. "Ready?"
The sign switches in another flash of shapeshifting magic. "Yeah, Envy!" Another change: "Nah, its cool. I'm used to looking cute." Ah, twue wuv! His only worry now is just what Bernie's girl has in mind for dinner.
"All right! Let's get going, then!" Bernie grins, and flips his cellphone open, as he quickly begins running down the way. He dials Chris' number, calling her, and trying to not stumble. Hopefully, he won't get any strange looks at carting a dog away from the docks. The young man looks nervous, beaming down at Envy - in puppy form - before waiting for her to pick up.
Envy looks cute and flicks an ear with a paw. Awww!
Chris picks up after a ring or two. She may or may not have actually dozed off on that very comfortable couch. "Hello? Bernie?"
There is an awkward pause. Say something, Bernie!
"Chris!" Bernie declares. "It's me. Sorry. I'm on my way now!" he exclaims. He leaves it at that. Not much else is needed, after all. He just has to get to her place, now. He covers the bottom of the phone, then, and looks towards Envy. He speaks quietly, just in case. "By the way. You'll need to run away by tomorrow, so I can get the real dog to her place."
The puppy nods in response. Run away? It'll break Christine's heart, but he can do it! Its only a one day event too. That works even better, he'll be back before anyone knows he's missing.
Bernie actually feels a little bad suggesting it. But it's necessary, and he doesn't want to disappoint her.
For the record, nineteen year-old males who have the hots for a girl are not rational actors.
Grinning, Chris responds, "I'll see you soon then!" Mercifully, she hangs up.
So Bernie can be as crazy as he wants with talking to the puppy. Not that Chris didn't technically talked to the puppy too.
"All right! See you in a moment!"
And thus, Bernie leads Envy on with a grin and a final nod. The young man moves along quickly, moving over the street. It takes him some time to walk to her place, but not that long. Soon enough, he arrives at the doorstep. He puts Envy down, gives him a final nod, and then takes a breath. Then, he reaches out and knocks on her door.
"Hey, Chris?" he asks through the door. "It's me!"
So cute, so fuzzy, so... bored. Envy makes sure to look the part by idly scratching his ear with a back paw and occasionally wagging his tail, but beyond that, there's not much else for him to do. Maybe this 'Chris' has some good books to read when nobody's looking.
There is a rather sudden fumbling noise inside, presumably as CHris scrambles off the couch and rushes for the door. She does arrive fairly quickly, pulling the door open. "Bernie! Wow, you were out for so long..but everything's okay so that's good!" She grins, then looks down at the puppy. "..oh my god! You actually got him!" A tiny part of her actually sounds surprised too!
Leaning forwards, Chris lifts a hand and scritches the puppy, "Helloooo~ there! Aww, you're just as cute as I remember!"
Bernie can't help but grin. She looks so happy. Maybe it's dishonest, but he does mean well, he decides! He looks down at the dog and, hearing those last words, forcibly keeps that sigh of relief inside of him. He better not vocalize that. "Well, it was... a little complicated, but I managed," the young man admits with a sheepish smile. "I'm glad you like him, too."
Thumpthumpthumpthump. The puppy's tail bounces rapidly off of the ground as the big brown eyes look up to Chris with a happy pant. Maybe there is something to this puppy schtick, Envy thinks as he purrs silently to himself. Scritches feel so good!
"Complicated?" Chris looks up to Bernie. "What happened? Did you have to argue for a price? Sometimes they do that." She stops scritching then works her hands beneath the puppy's front legs, attempting to lift the little guy up and into her arms. "I can't believe you actually bought him for me..."
Somewhere in the house, a pair of deep green eyes /watches/ the couple. Yes. Something is watching.
"Mm-hmm. It wasn't that bad." When Chris lifts Envy up into her arms, he looks down at the dog, and is jealous for a moment. Why can't /he/ be a shapeshifting thing born of mankind's own folly and desperation to recover that which cannot be regained?
Wait.
"And hey... it's no problem." Bernie grins a little, and scratches Envy on top of the head. He owes him for this. The watching eyes, of course, are unnoticed.
When its your turn to go up in a fusion reactor blast, Bernie, then we can talk about bringing you back as some other world's Envy.
The puppy eats up the scritches with a continued happy thump of its tail. Awww, so cute! Hey, wait, what's that over there. Something is watching him. Something with green eyes. ... A cat? Well, well. Hopefully the kitty will know his role, otherwise Envy may not be held responsible for its continued mental condition. Bohahahaha.
Why yes Envy, it is a cat. Chris's parents own a cat and, well, since this is their house. The beady green eyes watch the puppy for a moment before moving, stalking out of the shadows to reveal a poofy white kitty, head held high as if it owned the place. The cat prances over to Chris and starts rubbing up against her leg, demanding her attention.
Chris, unfortunately, does not give. She snuggles the puppy against her chest, using an arm to support its weight as she does so. "Want some coffee, Bernie?"
"Oh, uh, sure!" Bernie says. He looks down at the cat, nervously. That cat better not get into a fight with the dog. He doesn't need that. He comes in, then leans down to scratch the cat on the back of the head. He then gives a glance to Envy, just as he steps past Chris, and gives him a thumbs-up.
Even if he /is/ envious. If only he were that dog.
Both Bernie /and/ the cat are jealous of him! If Envy could purr, he would so be doing it right now. Since he's a puppy, he'll just keep wagging that tail madly and panting cutely for the pretty snuggly girl. "Bark!" Awww, he can even make the cute chirpy barking sound too! Pantpantpantpant.
If it wasn't for the crappy food and lack of chocolates, he could do this all week.
Perhaps in some cruel twist of fate, Envy might have to do it all week. Mwahaha.
The cat abandons Chris as Bernie offers it the one thing it so despirately desires: attention. Purring loudly, the cat rubs its face all over Bernie's hand, marking him as it's property.
With her legs no longer in danger of cat-kicking, Chris reaches forwards and pulls the door closed. "Hmm, I wonder what to name him!" She walks over to the couch and, after checking to make sure her parents aren't in the room over, sets the puppy down on the couch. "I'll be right back!" She heads off to the kitchen.
The cat follows after Bernie, circling him and rubbing against his legs.
"Aw..." Bernie rubs the cat once, before he looks at Envy. He kneels down and whispers. "Doing great!" he says. "Look, later on, just do what we talked about."
He then turns his eyes to the doorway, then, and keeps a close eye out. If Chris sees the dog talk, he will have all sorts of problems.
But did he really just think that?
Envypuppy just winks and thumps his tail once. Bernie may be nervous, but this shapeshifter's an old hand. It's all good, don't worry!
The cat looks at the two quizzically. However, it is just a cat and cannot comprehend that Bernie is talking to the dog. Hell, it thinks he's talking to him! Without being pet though, he has to wonder, and expresses this wondering with a meow for attention.
Shortly after, Chris emerges from the kitchen. "Coffee's brewing." she announces before plopping down on the couch..then patting her lap, eyeing the puppy expectantly. "C'mon...c'mon boy!"
"Great." Bernie grins and sits down next to Chris. He does reach over and give the cat a pet - and then looks at the redhead. It seems she didn't notice him talking to the animal/homonculus. May it stay that way. He pulls his hand away from the cat's head, then, and looks right back at Chris. "The coffee smells good!"
Yay, lap! See, the trick is to get into the mentality of a puppy. That's pretty easy because all a puppy thinks about is food, scritches, food, petting, food, exercise, and food. (The housetraining part we'll skip so that Bernie looks like a bloody genius for bringing Christine a doggie that already knows how to go on the paper.) Envypuppy yips and stumblebounces over into Christine's lap and nuzzles up against a leg. Awwww.
Chris probably wouldn't find it THAT weird, to tell the truth. She was talking to the puppy earlier (though it was baby talking). "Doesn't it? I really like the smell of coffee." she remarks before mentally melting. "Aww. You're soooo well behaved!" Chris coos, scratching the puppy's head. "Hmm. You'll need a name too. What do you think I should name him, Bernie?"
Meanwhile, the cat leaps up onto the couch and curls up on a cushion, glaring at the puppy.
"Uh...well..." Bernie trails off for a moment, as he tries to think of this. He needs a good name. One she would like. Rush? No, it sounds too mechanical. Interceptor? That just sounds like the name a guy who would slit his momma's throat for a nickel would use. Lassie? No, too likely to induce well-falling. "Maybe... uh... Barker? Like that guy! Who they found out was running the gameshow thirty years after he died through some really complex puppetry!"
If someone looks closely, they'll notice the puppy's chewing on his lip. The Mutley stifled-giggle response would be too much of a giveaway, so Envy swallows his laugh at Bernie's suggestion. Barker, which will inevitably wind up shortened to Barky. Poor pup! Oh well, as long as he's in the role, he might as well give the pilot some encouragement. "Bark! Bark!"
"...Barker?" Chris pauses, looking throughtful, before shaking her head. "..no, I don't like that one." She didn't want to go with something conventional like 'Rover' or 'Spot' because that's sort of boring. "How about...hmm...Tai! I like Tai."
Grinning, she ruffles the puppy once before lifting him off her lap. "I'll go get the coffee."
At this point, the cat hops off the couch and stalks off, looking as...miffed as a cat can look.
WHEN: Wednesday, November 1, 2006
WHERE: Side 6, UC 0079
WHAT: Bernie tries to get Chris a dog, but due to a forgotten wallet, things get complicated.
WATCH FOR: Abusing Syndicate resources.
Bernie is waiting for Chris, once again, on Side 6. He seems a good deal more relaxed than before - after their last real chat, back in Mos Eisley, he feels a little more comfortable, even if there is a clearer picture of the long-term issues. For example, the fact she is engaged and may or may not be cheating on said fiancee with him does rest somewhere in the back of his mind.
They can figure it out, though, he hopes. The young man crosses his arms over his chest, as something catches his eye. A pet store has a few cages of puppies out in the sidewalk of the meeting area - an open air market, though inside a colony. He walks over, and looks down into a bin.
A cute little puppy, with black and white splotches and big, blue eyes looks up at him and yips. "Awww."
Meanwhile, a few blocks away, Chris walks briskly on her way to to meet with Bernie. She's a little late this time as Al thought it would be funny to start flinging around pumpkin guts and even funnier to pile it all over Christina's head ("It looks just like your hair! Only lighter!"). This, of course, called for an emergency shower before getting ready that took twice as long as usual as pumpkin guts smell is really, really hard to get out.
She could easily be powerwalking, perhaps even jogging at the place where she told Bernie to meet her. Eventually, she spots him by the pet store. "...Bernie!"
"Oh--uh, hey!" Bernie stands up and looks at her, for a moment. Is that a pumpkin seed in her hair? Strange. He furrows his brow, and then offers her a grin and scratches the back of his head. The puppy, however, leaps up and tries to nibble the side of his jacket. He frowns for a moment, before looking down at it, and back up at her. "Everything all right?"
If Chris missed one, she is likely completely unaware of its presence on her head, which will make for one awkward meeting. Will Bernie be able to resist staring at it all night long?
"Oh, everything's fine." Chris laughs. "I was helping Al carve his pumpkin and he decided to have a little fun which ended up making me late. Sorry about that!" She pauses, then peers down at the puppy. It soon becomes very, very clear that Chris is one of those women who likes animals. "Awww."
She kneels down and cups her hands to the side of the puppy's face, ruffling him. "Aren't you the /cutest/ little puppy eeeeeever? Yes you are! Yessss you are!"
"Oh! Uh, no problem." Bernie grins a little nervously and looks at the seed. Why is he looking at it? If it falls into a metaphorical pool of water, will he see his enemy clearly, and punch her fiancee in the face?
Wrong Gundam series.
He scratches the back of his head, and then looks down at the puppy. "Yeah, I saw him here! They brought out this little thing, and--well, I think they're a pet store from the other side of the colony." He ponders, for a moment. He has a lot of points with her, but raising the high score couldn't hurt. "Hey... you want him?"
The seed seems to stare back into Bernie's SOUL.
"He's /adorbable/." Chris sighs, petting the puppy behind the ears. To say she's caught off guard when Bernie pops the question adequately describes her surprised. "..w..want him? Well I...I'm not so sure...my parents have a cat and..." Would a puppy get along with a cat? Would they fight? ...well she could keep it at the SDF-1. They allow pets there, right? "..but he's so cute..."
"Well... if you want him, I can get him!" Bernie replies, cheerfully, while looking down at her. Focus on the eyes, Wiseman! You can't stare at that seed like a freak all day. What would she think, then. "It really isn't a big deal, and I wouldn't mind..."
"..r..really?" After a very quick radio converation, Chris determines that yes, the SDF-1 allows pets. Score. She can keep the puppy there so it won't fight with the cat! A smile spreads across her face. "Sure." Still grinning, she gives the puppy another pat and stands. "...hm. Maybe I should give the other puppies at least a /look/." Though based on her tone of voice, it sounds like she's already decided on /that/ puppy.
"O-of course! Take your pick!" Bernie replies, still grinning. "Besides, I don't mind..." He isn't thinking in the long-term here, though. Namely, if he gets her a puppy randomly, he will have to go above and beyond the call of duty to get her a good birthday and Christmas present. However, he isn't that experienced in the ways of women just yet. He just smiles, unknowing of his own doom - or the fact his wallet is missing.
Less than one minute later...
"..I think I want this one." The exact same puppy is indicated. If all the extras that puppies need (ie food and so on) to have has occured to Chris yet, she hasn't shown it.
T-Minus five.
Bernie smiles at her, feeling he has done well. He nods his head, and he reaches his hand backward towards his pocket.
T-Minus four.
"Aw. I like him, too," Bernie says, looking down at the little puppy. He /is/ a cute one.
T-Minus three.
His hand comes to the back of his pocket, and reaches down. His fingers slide in, and find...
T-Minus two.
...nothing.
T-Minus one.
"Oh, shit, my wallet's gone!" he says, eyes widening sharply.
Up until the announcement of certain doom, Chris doesn't seem to be paying too much attention to Bernie at the moment. No, the puppy is getting the attention, because puppies love attention.
'Oh shit, my wallet's gone!'
Then Chris looks up, her eyes widening. "Oh no! Please tell me someone didn't steal it." Not that Bernie would /know/, right? Unless he left it behind somewhere. "That's horrible!"
"I--" Bernie /wouldn't/ know that. His lips turn into a frown, and his eyes dart to the side as he thinks. He can't remember whether he put it in his pocket or not. That means it could have been left behind, however. "I can't remember putting it in my wallet," he announces. "I suppose..."
She can't buy the little guy. That would defeat the whole purpose.
"I know! If it is, it's back on the shuttle I took to came in," the blonde-haired pilot says. He looks only slightly relieved. "How about I run back and get it, then I'll get this little guy, and meet you at your place? Would that work?"
'Well I could pay for him.' /is/ one of the thoughts that comes to Chris's mind, along with 'Should I really accept such a gift from someone when I'm engaged?'. Of course 'PUPPY! PUPPYPUPPYPUPYY' starts to, er, get in the way of that. She breathes a sigh of relief. "Then maybe there's still a chance you can find it." Unless someone stole it from the shuttle.
Giving the puppy a final pat and an "I'll see /you/ later~" Chris stands. "That works. I might do a little shopping around here first before going back but I'm sure I'll be back at my house by the time you return."
"All right! Then I'll see you when I get back!" Bernie chimes, before he turns and takes off in a jog towards the spaceport. He can apparently get a good amount of speed when it's desperate - like impressing her is, in his nineteen year-old mind - and quickly vanishes down the street. A good fifteen minutes later, he finds what he hoped for: his wallet, tucked into his bag on the shuttle. It's with a sigh of relief that he takes off back to the market.
He has a triumphant grin on his face, even if he is out of breath, before he comes into the market. By now, of course, Christina is long gone. He walks in, and realizes something immediately. The market is closing down.
Then, he realizes something even worse. The pet store's stand is closed down; nothing but a little dust is left. His eyebrow twitches, and he looks at the nearest worker. "Where's that pet store located?!"
"Clear across the colony..." the janitor replies, with a sigh.
"D-Damn it!" he groans. He rubs his temples. This is not good. This is not good at all. Sure, she would understand, but would that really be impressive? She would be disappointed any way it went. And then, something occurs to him...
Kiyohime did say they were here to help him out.
[Fac-Syndicate] Bernard Wiseman says, "...hey, Envy, right? You're the guy who can turn into things?"
[Fac-Syndicate] Envy says, "Oi, me? Yeah, I'm a shapeshifter!"
[Fac-Syndicate] Bernard Wiseman says, "How... how quick can you get to Side 6, Libot Colony?"
[Fac-Syndicate] Envy says, "Pretty fast, I know a shortcut. What do ya need? Infiltration, assasination, a decoy?"
[Fac-Syndicate] Bernard Wiseman says, "...Something like that! Just get down here, and I'll explain!"
[Fac-Syndicate] Bernard Wiseman transmits coordinates.
[Fac-Syndicate] Envy says, "... Sure! Let me leave a note and I'll be right there."
[Fac-Syndicate] Bernard Wiseman says, "...Great!"
A quick call to Rent-A-Homunculus later and Bernie's salvation is now on a speedy shuttle to the Libot Colony. No time for fancy reservations, so Envy elected to ride Container Class. "Oi, this is new," he ponders with a smile as he floats weightlessly around the cargo bay, bouncing from one crate to another in cackling glee. "Whee! I haven't had this much fun since Dante let me join the Ishbal Massacre!"
Now, Bernie has Envy en route. However, waiting for Envy means he will be a little late - but he can still get the arrangement taken care of. First, he has to make /damned/ sure he can swap that puppy out later, because Envy can't live with Chris for two reasons. He rubs his chin, and then pulls out his cellphone, before setting out towards the cargo bay quickly. "Hi! I need you to put, uh, a puppy on layaway," he says. "It's the cute little one with black and white spots--yeah! You can do it? Great!"
He clicks his cellphone out of that call, and then starts a new one. At Chris' house, her phone promptly begins ringing. He gets his nervous laughter out /before/ she answers, though.$r
Meanwhile, back at Chris's parents house, which incidentally, is where Chris lives when she's at home on Side 6.
A tiny bit distraught that he's been gone so long, CHris nearly pounces on the phone but manages to restrain herself to allow it to ring twice. "Hello?" she calmly answers after the second ring.
"Chris!" Bernie says, genuinely happy to hear her. He did get caught up a little. "I'm--uh, sorry, I got held up. I'm almost done and I'll be on my way there soon," the young man says into his cellphone as he keeps along the pathway to the loading docks. Envy better be there. They won't have much time! Plus, he has to convince Envy to do this. /That/ will be a load of fun. "Everything all right on your end?"
Envy's there, though he's currently skulking in the shadows between a pair of crates like a good little shadowrunner. Hiding in plain sight works a lot better when you don't have palm-tree like hair and wear a loincloth to work. He did do a quick lookup of Bernie before he left, so he'll be able to recognize the blonde pilot in time to do a quick "Psst! Over here!" before he walks right past his hiding spot.
"Bernie!" She sighs in relief. "Oh wow, did you get to the pet store in time? You were gone so long." Turns out Chris did stay a little extra longer waiting for him (and possibly to camp her puppy) but maybe not long enough to watch the shop close.
Pacing across the room, she plops down on the couch and leans on the phone.
"Well... yeah, it took me a little bit! Had to find my wallet. I managed to, though! I'm--oh, hang on, I'll call you back in just a second!" Bernie says suddenly, as his eyes catch Envy. He can recognize him from the Zeon personnel file on their Syndicate ally. He waits for Chris to give an affirmative, then says, "Call you right back!"
Then, he covers the bottom of his phone with his hand, so she won't hear him - and looks at Envy. "Man, am I glad to see you! I have a huge favor to ask you," he says in a hushed voice.
A huge favor, eh? Envy cracks his evil grin and leans back on his mini-crate perch. "Anything for a Syndicate pal! What's the score? Need something stolen, someone eliminated..." His eyes catch the muted celphone, and though an eyebrow quirks up, his grin actually grows. "You scheduled two dates for the same night and need someone to stand in?" Been there, done that, Pride still owes him a chocolate cake.
"Oh good! You found it! That's great!" Chris sounds excited. On the couch she flops over onto her back, kicking her feet up over the armrest. "I-uh..okay!" She frowns and looks at the phone, then shrugs, setting it down on the couch beside her.
"Yeah!" Bernie says into the phone, lifting a hand up to indicate for Envy to wait with a nervous grin. "Just one second!" Then, he clicks it off, and lets out a sigh of relief, before looking right back towards the Homonculus. How to phrase it... "It's... a little closer to the last one. See, uh, I'd promised to get this puppy for a girl, and then I left my wallet back on my ship, and then...well, uh, the pet stand was closed and the store they operate out of is too far away to get to. She'll be disappointed if I don't bring a puppy back." He looks at Envy, and offers him a hopeful grin. "So..."
This is what you get for missing out on all the cool parties, Envy. Other people get to blow up starships and fight Greek gods. Your mission? You get to play a pound puppy. As disappointing as that may be, however, the other hand allows him to earn Syndicate brownie points by looking cute and panting. It's a story he can actually tell Orihime and Yuna without feeling guilty. "Oi, talk about working for table scraps." The shapeshifter rubs the back of his head for a moment, then just shrugs and nods his head with a warm smile. "Alright, I'm in. Do you have a picture or something I can work from?"
"I--" Bernie grimaces. He has to think for a moment, until he realizes something. He could get an image from the catalogue of the store on its website. "One second!" He pulls his cellphone out, quickly connecting to the local colony network, and enters numbers fast and furious. Finally, he hits one, and shows his phone to Envy: illustrating the puppy, posing cutely with its nose pointed right at the camera. "So... do you think you can do it? Really?"
Chris continues to stalk her phone. Dun dun.
A shower of alchemy sparkles later, and where Envy had been sitting is now the a cute little black and white spotted doggie. Big puppy eyes look up at Bernie, which clash with the sign currently held up by one of its paws. "Will this do?" Genma Saotome has nothing on this shapeshifter!
"Perfect!" Bernie replies with a beam. "Thanks a ton, uh--Envy, right?" he asks. He grins sheepishly and scratches the back of his head, before he reaches down and scoops up the Homonculus puppy with his arms. "Sorry, but I've gotta carry you. Also, when we get there, you know, the usual rules, look cute, don't talk, don't kill her, et cetera." He laughs nervously. "Ready?"
The sign switches in another flash of shapeshifting magic. "Yeah, Envy!" Another change: "Nah, its cool. I'm used to looking cute." Ah, twue wuv! His only worry now is just what Bernie's girl has in mind for dinner.
"All right! Let's get going, then!" Bernie grins, and flips his cellphone open, as he quickly begins running down the way. He dials Chris' number, calling her, and trying to not stumble. Hopefully, he won't get any strange looks at carting a dog away from the docks. The young man looks nervous, beaming down at Envy - in puppy form - before waiting for her to pick up.
Envy looks cute and flicks an ear with a paw. Awww!
Chris picks up after a ring or two. She may or may not have actually dozed off on that very comfortable couch. "Hello? Bernie?"
There is an awkward pause. Say something, Bernie!
"Chris!" Bernie declares. "It's me. Sorry. I'm on my way now!" he exclaims. He leaves it at that. Not much else is needed, after all. He just has to get to her place, now. He covers the bottom of the phone, then, and looks towards Envy. He speaks quietly, just in case. "By the way. You'll need to run away by tomorrow, so I can get the real dog to her place."
The puppy nods in response. Run away? It'll break Christine's heart, but he can do it! Its only a one day event too. That works even better, he'll be back before anyone knows he's missing.
Bernie actually feels a little bad suggesting it. But it's necessary, and he doesn't want to disappoint her.
For the record, nineteen year-old males who have the hots for a girl are not rational actors.
Grinning, Chris responds, "I'll see you soon then!" Mercifully, she hangs up.
So Bernie can be as crazy as he wants with talking to the puppy. Not that Chris didn't technically talked to the puppy too.
"All right! See you in a moment!"
And thus, Bernie leads Envy on with a grin and a final nod. The young man moves along quickly, moving over the street. It takes him some time to walk to her place, but not that long. Soon enough, he arrives at the doorstep. He puts Envy down, gives him a final nod, and then takes a breath. Then, he reaches out and knocks on her door.
"Hey, Chris?" he asks through the door. "It's me!"
So cute, so fuzzy, so... bored. Envy makes sure to look the part by idly scratching his ear with a back paw and occasionally wagging his tail, but beyond that, there's not much else for him to do. Maybe this 'Chris' has some good books to read when nobody's looking.
There is a rather sudden fumbling noise inside, presumably as CHris scrambles off the couch and rushes for the door. She does arrive fairly quickly, pulling the door open. "Bernie! Wow, you were out for so long..but everything's okay so that's good!" She grins, then looks down at the puppy. "..oh my god! You actually got him!" A tiny part of her actually sounds surprised too!
Leaning forwards, Chris lifts a hand and scritches the puppy, "Helloooo~ there! Aww, you're just as cute as I remember!"
Bernie can't help but grin. She looks so happy. Maybe it's dishonest, but he does mean well, he decides! He looks down at the dog and, hearing those last words, forcibly keeps that sigh of relief inside of him. He better not vocalize that. "Well, it was... a little complicated, but I managed," the young man admits with a sheepish smile. "I'm glad you like him, too."
Thumpthumpthumpthump. The puppy's tail bounces rapidly off of the ground as the big brown eyes look up to Chris with a happy pant. Maybe there is something to this puppy schtick, Envy thinks as he purrs silently to himself. Scritches feel so good!
"Complicated?" Chris looks up to Bernie. "What happened? Did you have to argue for a price? Sometimes they do that." She stops scritching then works her hands beneath the puppy's front legs, attempting to lift the little guy up and into her arms. "I can't believe you actually bought him for me..."
Somewhere in the house, a pair of deep green eyes /watches/ the couple. Yes. Something is watching.
"Mm-hmm. It wasn't that bad." When Chris lifts Envy up into her arms, he looks down at the dog, and is jealous for a moment. Why can't /he/ be a shapeshifting thing born of mankind's own folly and desperation to recover that which cannot be regained?
Wait.
"And hey... it's no problem." Bernie grins a little, and scratches Envy on top of the head. He owes him for this. The watching eyes, of course, are unnoticed.
When its your turn to go up in a fusion reactor blast, Bernie, then we can talk about bringing you back as some other world's Envy.
The puppy eats up the scritches with a continued happy thump of its tail. Awww, so cute! Hey, wait, what's that over there. Something is watching him. Something with green eyes. ... A cat? Well, well. Hopefully the kitty will know his role, otherwise Envy may not be held responsible for its continued mental condition. Bohahahaha.
Why yes Envy, it is a cat. Chris's parents own a cat and, well, since this is their house. The beady green eyes watch the puppy for a moment before moving, stalking out of the shadows to reveal a poofy white kitty, head held high as if it owned the place. The cat prances over to Chris and starts rubbing up against her leg, demanding her attention.
Chris, unfortunately, does not give. She snuggles the puppy against her chest, using an arm to support its weight as she does so. "Want some coffee, Bernie?"
"Oh, uh, sure!" Bernie says. He looks down at the cat, nervously. That cat better not get into a fight with the dog. He doesn't need that. He comes in, then leans down to scratch the cat on the back of the head. He then gives a glance to Envy, just as he steps past Chris, and gives him a thumbs-up.
Even if he /is/ envious. If only he were that dog.
Both Bernie /and/ the cat are jealous of him! If Envy could purr, he would so be doing it right now. Since he's a puppy, he'll just keep wagging that tail madly and panting cutely for the pretty snuggly girl. "Bark!" Awww, he can even make the cute chirpy barking sound too! Pantpantpantpant.
If it wasn't for the crappy food and lack of chocolates, he could do this all week.
Perhaps in some cruel twist of fate, Envy might have to do it all week. Mwahaha.
The cat abandons Chris as Bernie offers it the one thing it so despirately desires: attention. Purring loudly, the cat rubs its face all over Bernie's hand, marking him as it's property.
With her legs no longer in danger of cat-kicking, Chris reaches forwards and pulls the door closed. "Hmm, I wonder what to name him!" She walks over to the couch and, after checking to make sure her parents aren't in the room over, sets the puppy down on the couch. "I'll be right back!" She heads off to the kitchen.
The cat follows after Bernie, circling him and rubbing against his legs.
"Aw..." Bernie rubs the cat once, before he looks at Envy. He kneels down and whispers. "Doing great!" he says. "Look, later on, just do what we talked about."
He then turns his eyes to the doorway, then, and keeps a close eye out. If Chris sees the dog talk, he will have all sorts of problems.
But did he really just think that?
Envypuppy just winks and thumps his tail once. Bernie may be nervous, but this shapeshifter's an old hand. It's all good, don't worry!
The cat looks at the two quizzically. However, it is just a cat and cannot comprehend that Bernie is talking to the dog. Hell, it thinks he's talking to him! Without being pet though, he has to wonder, and expresses this wondering with a meow for attention.
Shortly after, Chris emerges from the kitchen. "Coffee's brewing." she announces before plopping down on the couch..then patting her lap, eyeing the puppy expectantly. "C'mon...c'mon boy!"
"Great." Bernie grins and sits down next to Chris. He does reach over and give the cat a pet - and then looks at the redhead. It seems she didn't notice him talking to the animal/homonculus. May it stay that way. He pulls his hand away from the cat's head, then, and looks right back at Chris. "The coffee smells good!"
Yay, lap! See, the trick is to get into the mentality of a puppy. That's pretty easy because all a puppy thinks about is food, scritches, food, petting, food, exercise, and food. (The housetraining part we'll skip so that Bernie looks like a bloody genius for bringing Christine a doggie that already knows how to go on the paper.) Envypuppy yips and stumblebounces over into Christine's lap and nuzzles up against a leg. Awwww.
Chris probably wouldn't find it THAT weird, to tell the truth. She was talking to the puppy earlier (though it was baby talking). "Doesn't it? I really like the smell of coffee." she remarks before mentally melting. "Aww. You're soooo well behaved!" Chris coos, scratching the puppy's head. "Hmm. You'll need a name too. What do you think I should name him, Bernie?"
Meanwhile, the cat leaps up onto the couch and curls up on a cushion, glaring at the puppy.
"Uh...well..." Bernie trails off for a moment, as he tries to think of this. He needs a good name. One she would like. Rush? No, it sounds too mechanical. Interceptor? That just sounds like the name a guy who would slit his momma's throat for a nickel would use. Lassie? No, too likely to induce well-falling. "Maybe... uh... Barker? Like that guy! Who they found out was running the gameshow thirty years after he died through some really complex puppetry!"
If someone looks closely, they'll notice the puppy's chewing on his lip. The Mutley stifled-giggle response would be too much of a giveaway, so Envy swallows his laugh at Bernie's suggestion. Barker, which will inevitably wind up shortened to Barky. Poor pup! Oh well, as long as he's in the role, he might as well give the pilot some encouragement. "Bark! Bark!"
"...Barker?" Chris pauses, looking throughtful, before shaking her head. "..no, I don't like that one." She didn't want to go with something conventional like 'Rover' or 'Spot' because that's sort of boring. "How about...hmm...Tai! I like Tai."
Grinning, she ruffles the puppy once before lifting him off her lap. "I'll go get the coffee."
At this point, the cat hops off the couch and stalks off, looking as...miffed as a cat can look.