[SuJu] The Oracle 3/?
Title: The Oracle
Chapter: 3/?
Rating: PG13 for now
Genre: Crack, at the bare minimum.
Pairings: None predetermined. Qmi previously introduced. Eunteuk ahead.
Summary: That afternoon, there were only nine on stage to accept their whoknowswhatnumberth win at Music Bank. That afternoon, the world ended. Almost.
Notes: Inconsistencies with IRL characters may exist. Awfully sarcastic and cliche-based. Chaptered because 15,000 words of crack is a little much to digest at once, lol.
The Oracle
Chapter Three: It's a Lollipop. Screw the end of the world.
The first thing Leeteuk awoke to was the gleam of a white forest. He thought he was dreaming at first--white forests couldn't possibly exist in the heart of Korea on a summer day, after all--but after blinking and slapping himself plenty of times, he fell back to the conclusion that, yes, he really was in a white forest.
It wasn't snow on the ground, as he'd deduced by allowing his curiosity to feel the earth beneath his feet. It felt more like ash, but surely ash wasn't white? The texture wasn't fluffy and soft, at any rate, and it had a distinct odor that made it unlike to freshly fallen snow.
Whatever it was...ash, snow...where was this place?
Leeteuk frowned and took a look around. Trees filled his line of sight in every direction, branches laden with the white ash. A brightness shone brilliantly at him from one particular direction, almost as if someone was shining a light directly at him, so he chose to ignore looking that way; in the immediate opposite direction was what looked like the remains of a broken spaceship, but surely he was merely hallucinating that...or his vision was really getting poorer.
What an odd place, he remarked for a moment, right before his leader instincts kicked in. And only then did his shock and wonder fade, panic rising in him, and thereafter he began to frantically search for the rest of his members
Where were they? Had that cloaked man sent them all to different places? How did that make any sense? If what the man said was true, if they'd really proven themselves for this shit of a fate by winning Music Bank a countless number of times, why were they separated? Better yet, why exactly was it that--
"Hyung...."
Leeteuk froze. He heard it, he swore he did. That had been Eunhyuk's voice, had it not? But it'd been so low, so weak...had he been imagining it?
"You're... stepping on me."
"Oh."
Minutes later, after furious digging at the ashen ground, Eunhyuk had been unearthed. He was a right mess, his clothes covered in the ash, stained a powdery white, and the make up once on his face made him look like a clown, especially coupled with the ash on his face. Indeed, it'd taken Leeteuk all of his nerve not to laugh, relying on the solemnity of the situation to suppress his laughter completely.
When the mood had died down, and when fear settled in once more, Eunhyuk asked in a quivering voice, "Where are we?"
"Who knows," replied Leeteuk, looking around. "I doubt we're in Korea still. Too much snow. Or ash. Or whatever it is."
"It reminds me of dandruff," Eunhyuk said thoughtfully. Then, upon noting Leeteuk's horrified face, he added: "I doubt it is, though.'
"There's a light over there," Leeteuk stated obviously, nodding his head at the shining light behind him. "Only thing in the area worth noting. I was gonna check it out, but...it was too bright."
"Don't you have sunglasses?" asked Eunhyuk, to which Leeteuk shook his head.
"Heechul took them from me."
Eunhyuk grinned. "We'll walk sideways then."
The two promised not to speak of it again, but in the moment they were sure they looked quite ridiculous. Even penguins waddled more effectively than they did, though at least they did so walking forwards. Eunhyuk had even made a dance out of it, having naturally called it the penguin dance. Leeteuk preferred to call it "Operation Walking Towards the Light Waddling Sideways to Avoid Being Blind," or simply Operation WTLWSABB; about ten minutes later it was shortened to "Operation Obstruct the Light" -- Operation OTL.
After about half an hour of waddling sideways through the forest, they arrived at a mirror. They stared puzzlingly at it for several moments, wondering why the hell they'd followed a light to a fucking mirror. Leeteuk couldn't even use it to stare at himself, like he'd really want to do that, because it was flashing him quite relentlessly, in the not so good way. And if one couldn't stop to admire himself, what was the point of the mirror?
"...it's reflecting the light," Eunhyuk said smartly, after a moment's thought. And sure enough, as Leeteuk followed Eunhyuk's gaze, he noted another beam of light shooting itself somewhere else in the forest.
"Should we follow it?" Leeteuk asked. And even if Eunhyuk had said no, though he'd nodded to the idea in the end, Leeteuk would have gone anyway.
They didn't last long, because after only five minutes of the Penguin Dance, the two found themselves distracted.
"Lollipops!" Eunhyuk exclaimed, darting away from their sideways path and lunging for the said candies. Indeed, they were facing what seemed like a meadow of lollipops, rising from the ground like flowers. The ash in that meadow was more scarce, but Leeteuk hardly registered this fact; what seemed to bug him more, albeit a natural reaction, was why the hell were lollipops growing out of the ground like flowers?
...where were they?
Leeteuk's thoughts were soon interrupted by Eunhyuk, who thrust a lollipop into his face. "Want one?" he asked his leader, and Leeteuk quickly shook his head. Eunhyuk merely shrugged, taking it for himself, and with a sigh he began to lick at the candy.
Leeteuk froze. He tried to look away, but he couldn't. He'd seen Eunhyuk doing the sort of thing for Donghae sometimes, though he was quite convinced it was all for the fanservice. Yet there were no fans now, so why would...why did he...?
Maybe it was because Leeteuk hadn't gotten any for the longest time. Maybe it was because his brain was subconsciously finding things to distract him from his leaderly panics and worries. He preferred the latter, to be honest, but it didn't hide the fact that he was still watching Eunhyuk with wide, hungry eyes. And when the stray thought of "I'd wish he'd lick my stomach like that," passed through his mind, Leeteuk shook his head and screamed at himself in frustration, genuinely scared his mind would soon replace "stomach" with other relevant nouns.
Eunhyuk frowned at him, asking if he was sure he didn't want one. Leeteuk growled and assured his bandmate that, yes, he was alright, and that no, he wasn't having sexual thoughts about him at the moment (the latter remaining in his thoughts, only). But that only caused Eunhyuk to lick the lollipop even more.
What was the man thinking? Screw the end of the world, it's a lollipop!? Somehow, Leeteuk was almost convinced--
When Eunhyuk began to suck on the lollipop, Leeteuk had decided he'd had enough. Between the penguin dance and watching Eunhyuk give head to a lollipop, he preferred the penguin dance. At least he could do it shamelessly.
Operation OTL indeed. And to think Eunhyuk was behind it all.
Chapter 3, end.
Props to you if you catch the innuendo in the very last sentence, lol. Chapter 4 may or may not talk about the three K's. It also may or may not follow the other SuJu members' adventures in this strange forest.
Chapter: 3/?
Rating: PG13 for now
Genre: Crack, at the bare minimum.
Pairings: None predetermined. Qmi previously introduced. Eunteuk ahead.
Summary: That afternoon, there were only nine on stage to accept their whoknowswhatnumberth win at Music Bank. That afternoon, the world ended. Almost.
Notes: Inconsistencies with IRL characters may exist. Awfully sarcastic and cliche-based. Chaptered because 15,000 words of crack is a little much to digest at once, lol.
The Oracle
Chapter Three: It's a Lollipop. Screw the end of the world.
The first thing Leeteuk awoke to was the gleam of a white forest. He thought he was dreaming at first--white forests couldn't possibly exist in the heart of Korea on a summer day, after all--but after blinking and slapping himself plenty of times, he fell back to the conclusion that, yes, he really was in a white forest.
It wasn't snow on the ground, as he'd deduced by allowing his curiosity to feel the earth beneath his feet. It felt more like ash, but surely ash wasn't white? The texture wasn't fluffy and soft, at any rate, and it had a distinct odor that made it unlike to freshly fallen snow.
Whatever it was...ash, snow...where was this place?
Leeteuk frowned and took a look around. Trees filled his line of sight in every direction, branches laden with the white ash. A brightness shone brilliantly at him from one particular direction, almost as if someone was shining a light directly at him, so he chose to ignore looking that way; in the immediate opposite direction was what looked like the remains of a broken spaceship, but surely he was merely hallucinating that...or his vision was really getting poorer.
What an odd place, he remarked for a moment, right before his leader instincts kicked in. And only then did his shock and wonder fade, panic rising in him, and thereafter he began to frantically search for the rest of his members
Where were they? Had that cloaked man sent them all to different places? How did that make any sense? If what the man said was true, if they'd really proven themselves for this shit of a fate by winning Music Bank a countless number of times, why were they separated? Better yet, why exactly was it that--
"Hyung...."
Leeteuk froze. He heard it, he swore he did. That had been Eunhyuk's voice, had it not? But it'd been so low, so weak...had he been imagining it?
"You're... stepping on me."
"Oh."
Minutes later, after furious digging at the ashen ground, Eunhyuk had been unearthed. He was a right mess, his clothes covered in the ash, stained a powdery white, and the make up once on his face made him look like a clown, especially coupled with the ash on his face. Indeed, it'd taken Leeteuk all of his nerve not to laugh, relying on the solemnity of the situation to suppress his laughter completely.
When the mood had died down, and when fear settled in once more, Eunhyuk asked in a quivering voice, "Where are we?"
"Who knows," replied Leeteuk, looking around. "I doubt we're in Korea still. Too much snow. Or ash. Or whatever it is."
"It reminds me of dandruff," Eunhyuk said thoughtfully. Then, upon noting Leeteuk's horrified face, he added: "I doubt it is, though.'
"There's a light over there," Leeteuk stated obviously, nodding his head at the shining light behind him. "Only thing in the area worth noting. I was gonna check it out, but...it was too bright."
"Don't you have sunglasses?" asked Eunhyuk, to which Leeteuk shook his head.
"Heechul took them from me."
Eunhyuk grinned. "We'll walk sideways then."
The two promised not to speak of it again, but in the moment they were sure they looked quite ridiculous. Even penguins waddled more effectively than they did, though at least they did so walking forwards. Eunhyuk had even made a dance out of it, having naturally called it the penguin dance. Leeteuk preferred to call it "Operation Walking Towards the Light Waddling Sideways to Avoid Being Blind," or simply Operation WTLWSABB; about ten minutes later it was shortened to "Operation Obstruct the Light" -- Operation OTL.
After about half an hour of waddling sideways through the forest, they arrived at a mirror. They stared puzzlingly at it for several moments, wondering why the hell they'd followed a light to a fucking mirror. Leeteuk couldn't even use it to stare at himself, like he'd really want to do that, because it was flashing him quite relentlessly, in the not so good way. And if one couldn't stop to admire himself, what was the point of the mirror?
"...it's reflecting the light," Eunhyuk said smartly, after a moment's thought. And sure enough, as Leeteuk followed Eunhyuk's gaze, he noted another beam of light shooting itself somewhere else in the forest.
"Should we follow it?" Leeteuk asked. And even if Eunhyuk had said no, though he'd nodded to the idea in the end, Leeteuk would have gone anyway.
They didn't last long, because after only five minutes of the Penguin Dance, the two found themselves distracted.
"Lollipops!" Eunhyuk exclaimed, darting away from their sideways path and lunging for the said candies. Indeed, they were facing what seemed like a meadow of lollipops, rising from the ground like flowers. The ash in that meadow was more scarce, but Leeteuk hardly registered this fact; what seemed to bug him more, albeit a natural reaction, was why the hell were lollipops growing out of the ground like flowers?
...where were they?
Leeteuk's thoughts were soon interrupted by Eunhyuk, who thrust a lollipop into his face. "Want one?" he asked his leader, and Leeteuk quickly shook his head. Eunhyuk merely shrugged, taking it for himself, and with a sigh he began to lick at the candy.
Leeteuk froze. He tried to look away, but he couldn't. He'd seen Eunhyuk doing the sort of thing for Donghae sometimes, though he was quite convinced it was all for the fanservice. Yet there were no fans now, so why would...why did he...?
Maybe it was because Leeteuk hadn't gotten any for the longest time. Maybe it was because his brain was subconsciously finding things to distract him from his leaderly panics and worries. He preferred the latter, to be honest, but it didn't hide the fact that he was still watching Eunhyuk with wide, hungry eyes. And when the stray thought of "I'd wish he'd lick my stomach like that," passed through his mind, Leeteuk shook his head and screamed at himself in frustration, genuinely scared his mind would soon replace "stomach" with other relevant nouns.
Eunhyuk frowned at him, asking if he was sure he didn't want one. Leeteuk growled and assured his bandmate that, yes, he was alright, and that no, he wasn't having sexual thoughts about him at the moment (the latter remaining in his thoughts, only). But that only caused Eunhyuk to lick the lollipop even more.
What was the man thinking? Screw the end of the world, it's a lollipop!? Somehow, Leeteuk was almost convinced--
When Eunhyuk began to suck on the lollipop, Leeteuk had decided he'd had enough. Between the penguin dance and watching Eunhyuk give head to a lollipop, he preferred the penguin dance. At least he could do it shamelessly.
Operation OTL indeed. And to think Eunhyuk was behind it all.
Chapter 3, end.
Props to you if you catch the innuendo in the very last sentence, lol. Chapter 4 may or may not talk about the three K's. It also may or may not follow the other SuJu members' adventures in this strange forest.