fic: growing a pair (part two)
growing a pair
ryan lochte/michael phelps
nc17, 11827 words
warnings for depiction of male pregnancy, curse words, genderswap, mpreg
Dr Waltz puts Michael on bed rest the first week of his eighth month and it really fucking sucks.
Michael is bored and no amount of online poker or ESPN manages to keep him entertained. Devon comes over sometimes to keep him company but there’s not much they can do while Michael’s confined to a bed.
Ryan’s pre-occupied with training even though Gregg and Matt are letting up on his schedule and Michael’s sisters are busy with their own families and lives. His mom comes down to visit and starts to cry when she sees the nursery; it’s a whole big weeping mess until she calms herself down, but it’s still so fucking boring.
Michael doesn’t have much interaction with other people until his baby shower. He’s only expecting his family and Ryan’s to show up, along with Conor who has to come or else Michael’s going to bitch him out and make him feel guilty, but when Cullen shows up on his doorstep with gifts followed closely by Matt and Nathan Michael’s a little shocked. Ricky shows up too with Rebecca and even though Allison is late she arrives with a basket full of baby clothes.
Ricky’s the only one who looks mildly shocked and upset about the pregnancy. “Why am I always the last to know about these things?” He asks, chewing sadly on a piece of cake.
“Sorry Ricky,” Ryan says, patting his shoulder. “When Mike goes into labor you’ll be the first to know.”
Ike makes a choking noise. Ryan says, “Like after I tell my mom, of course.”
They get a whole lot of nice things.
There’s barely enough room in the nursery so they end up stuffing a lot of it into Ryan’s office. Michael doesn’t think two babies would ever need all this stuff but a lot of the clothes they get are for when the babies get older, and some of the stuff Ike and his mom give him he didn’t even think about getting.
It makes Michael realize that they barely have a month until the babies arrive. He’s nervous, the kind of nervous he only gets before a big race, and he starts to get worried about being a shitty dad.
Michael’s just not good with babies. He almost dropped Taylor on her head the first time he held her. He almost gave Connor a scolding hot bottle of milk once. He gags at the thought of changing a dirty diaper and becomes irrationally irritated at the thought of the babies crying throughout the night.
What if it becomes too much and he wants out? He’s not going to just dump one baby on Ryan but two and then fuck up his career as well. No one would ever forgive him if he walked out and he’d carry on the Phelps legacy of shitty fathers.
He voices his concerns to Ryan. Ryan just stares at him and starts to laugh and Michael leaves the room in an emotionally grumpy fashion.
He sits outside around the pool until Ryan comes out and drapes himself over the back of the chair, cheek against Michael’s. “Phelps,” he says, “no one knows shit when they have a baby.”
“We’re having two,” Michael says and wipes a tear away. “I’m gonna fuck this up.”
“Nah,” Ryan says, coming around to sit on the edge of the pool chair. “You get like freakishly determined to get shit done.”
Michael doesn’t say anything. Ryan asks, “Is this about your dad?”
Michael mumbles a yes. Ryan sighs and touches Michael’s belly. “MP man these are your kids and you know what it’s like to be walked out on and you’re not going to let them know what that feels like. And if you fucking do I’m gonna hunt your sorry ass down and drag you back. Or I could show up to every event with them and make you feel like complete shit until you come crawling back.”
Michael laughs and almost pisses himself. “Stop making me laugh I don’t have control of my bladder.”
“Oh sexy,” Ryan says and Michael pushes him off the chair.
The day of his C-section Michael’s so fucking big he can’t get out of bed by himself or get out of the car when they arrive at the hospital. He wants the babies out and he wants them out now.
Ryan’s full of nervous energy and paces around the hospital room.
“Your dick is coming nowhere fucking near me ever fucking again,” Michael says from his hospital bed and makes his way through his third cup of chocolate pudding.
Ryan stops pacing. “But MP,” he whines, “you love my dick.”
“Yeah, well, right about now I really want to cut it off. Can you get me some more pudding?” Michael says sweetly. Ryan blinks at him but he eventually leaves and comes back with more pudding and Michael’s mother.
Michael’s mom and sisters arrived two days ago and the plan is for Debbie to stick around for the first week to help them out and then the next Ike will be available if they need any. Debbie kisses Michael’s cheek and says, “look at you,” and Michael glares over her shoulder at Ryan and says, “yes, look at me.”
Ryan frowns. Debbie says, “Michael don’t be mean. It takes two to tango.”
When it’s time for Dr Waltz to perform the surgery a nurse sticks a long and painful needle into Michael’s spine while he utters, “I’m going to kill you,” to Ryan over and over again. Ryan just sighs and says, “I love you too,” before suiting up in scrubs.
After that it’s kind of blurry for Michael. He’s not knocked out, just can’t feel the lower half of his body, but everything feels surreal. They get him set up in a bright, sterile room with his arms spread out and a thin sheet blocking his view of the operation. Ryan sits next to his head and talks him through the insane amount of pressure Michael can feel and then all of a sudden Dr Waltz is yelling “it’s a boy!” and lifting a baby up for Michael to see and the baby’s crying so loud Michael can barely hear anything.
When Noah finally comes out Michael starts to panic. He’s overwhelmed and he just wants to see his babies but he can’t move and Ryan’s disappeared to inspect them. The babies are screaming their lungs off and Michael’s overwhelmed with the need to go to them and comfort them.
“I want to see my babies,” he says to the closest nurse.
“It’s okay dad, the nurse will be right over with them once we get them cleaned up,” she says and pats him on the shoulder.
Michael wants to yell that he doesn’t want to see his babies when they’re all cleaned up he wants to see them right fucking now but then Ryan comes over and kisses him hard. “Shit Mike they’re so beautiful,” he says, tears in his eyes. “Here, look.”
A nurse hands Ryan one of the babies and Ryan brings the bundle up to Michael’s face. Michael knows right away that it’s Loren. His face is bright pink and eyes still watery but he’s not crying anymore.
“I want to hold him,” Michael cries. “Ryan I want - where’s Noah? Is Noah okay?”
“He’s right here,” a nurse says and brings Noah over so Michael can look at him. “The doctor is just going to finish stitching you up and once the babies have been checked over we’ll bring them to your room.”
They take Michael to his room and drug him up but he’s getting impatient. Ryan has gone to the nursery to make sure their babies have all ten fingers and toes and are all aright because they’re a few weeks premature, leaving Michael alone in his hospital room.
He lets their families know that the babies are out via text and then finally, finally two nurses wheel the babies into the room.
Michael holds Loren first and then hands him over to Ryan so he can hold Noah.
They’re identical. There’s no missing the fact that they have Ryan’s nose, and the same colored eyes, but both have dark brown hair. Noah has more of it but other than that there’s really no telling them apart but Michael already knows who’s who.
Eventually Michael has to give in and let their families come in.
“Mom stop,” Michael whines when his mom starts to cry. “You have grandchildren already.”
“I know,” Debbie sniffles. “I just never thought this would happen.”
Michael makes a face at her. “We were gonna have kids eventually.”
Debbie just sniffles harder and hands Noah over to Devon so she can take Loren from Steven.
The nurses kick their families out when the pain meds starts to wear off. They show them how to prepare a bottle correctly and how to coax the babies into nursing and then leave them to bask in the glory of being new parents.
Michael’s shit tired but even though the babies are sleep he can’t stop looking at them. He wants to stay awake in case they need him or they do something exciting.
“MP,” Ryan eventually says, kissing Michael softly. “Go to sleep. They’ll be here when you wake up.”
Michael falls asleep.
After three days they get sent home.
Michael’s frightened that the dogs are going to tear the babies apart when they get home but Carter and Herman react like perfect gentlemen - Ryan claims dogs know these things, Michael - and Stella tries to lick their faces.
Michael’s sore all over. He feels like he’s been sucker punched in the stomach and his ankles are still acting like he’s carrying around two babies but every time he looks at Noah and Loren he feels such ecstatic delight he can deal with a bit of pain.
Loren is a really laid back baby. He cries when he wants something, but other than that he doesn’t fuss when they give him a sponge bath or change his clothes. Noah on the other hand protests loudly when he gets disturbed.
The first week is relatively easily. Ryan and Debbie are around to help when both babies start to cry at the same time or the dogs start to get rowdy. The second week goes by the same way just with Ike’s help. The third week is total hell.
Ryan has to go back to training. He’s only gone four hours out of the day but Noah and Loren team up and decide that those four hours are the four hours where they’re going to be absolutely evil to Michael.
When Noah starts to cry Loren starts to cry too and never for the same reason. Loren’s hungry but Noah needs his diaper changed or Noah can’t fall asleep and Loren doesn’t want to put clothes on. Michael tries to get them on a schedule but they’re having none of that. And then when Ryan gets home the brats turn into little angles. Michael doesn’t get how three-week-old babies can be such little shits.
Things blow up after two weeks. Michael’s beyond the point of exhaustion, even with Ryan being home a lot, and the glory of the babies is starting to wear thin even though Michael still loves them.
“Maybe we should get a baby nurse,” Ryan suggests, exhausted as well. The babies cry throughout the night and don’t go down for hours keeping him up and making early morning training difficult.
“I don’t need someone to help me take care of my fucking kids,” Michael says with venom. “I can do it myself.”
“You’re exhausting yourself,” Ryan says, not backing down. “And I’m not saying you’re incapable of taking care of them, Mike. I’m just saying why don’t we hire someone to help you take care of them when I’m at practice so you’re not struggling to take care of two newborn babies and three dogs all at the same time?”
Michael rubs at his face. “I - You’re right.”
“Of course I am,” Ryan grins and pins Michael against the kitchen counter, hands on his hips. He kisses Michael and touches his belly, still fascinated by the little bump of left over pregnancy fat.
“Stop,” Michael whines. “You know I don’t like my stomach.”
“Your C-section scar is so sexy to me,” Ryan murmurs.
“Dude,” Michael says. “You’re gross.”
“You’re trying to oppress my sexuality,” Ryan complains. “Mike, that isn’t fair.”
Michael rolls his eyes. When Ryan touches his boob he swats his hand away. “Stop that.”
“You know you like it when I touch them,” Ryan says. Michael presses his lips into a thin line because he does like when Ryan touches his boobs but he’d wish they’d go away already. He doesn’t feel like a man with them and he really wants his dick back.
“Do they make milk?” Ryan asks.
“Oh my god,” Michael says. “Don’t you dare say you want to taste it.”
Ryan doesn’t reply. Michael gapes. “You can’t be serious!”
Ryan just frowns and fondles Michael’s boob again.
They spend two weeks interviewing the best baby nurses in Gainesville and settle on a thirty-year-old redhead named Donna. She’s sweet, but sassy, and knows everything there is to know about babies.
Michael’s girl parts disappear and his dick comes back and to celebrate they leave the babies with their Grandma Ike while they stay at home and fuck like rabbits.
The babies get older and start to do more things other than lie on their backs and cry. They begin to put things in their mouths and hold up objects and smile and even though they were complete shits in the beginning Michael falls in love with them all over again. It actually pains him to leave them with Donna when he finally gets back to training and goes to the pool or gym with Ryan.
Life is nice - more than just nice. Michael still wants to end Clary but he begrudgingly has to thank the piece of shit for fucking him over and bringing the two best things to ever happen to Michael into his life.
He’s never loved anything more than he loves his kids, not even Ryan, and he refuses to imagine life without them.
part one part two AO3
ryan lochte/michael phelps
nc17, 11827 words
warnings for depiction of male pregnancy, curse words, genderswap, mpreg
Dr Waltz puts Michael on bed rest the first week of his eighth month and it really fucking sucks.
Michael is bored and no amount of online poker or ESPN manages to keep him entertained. Devon comes over sometimes to keep him company but there’s not much they can do while Michael’s confined to a bed.
Ryan’s pre-occupied with training even though Gregg and Matt are letting up on his schedule and Michael’s sisters are busy with their own families and lives. His mom comes down to visit and starts to cry when she sees the nursery; it’s a whole big weeping mess until she calms herself down, but it’s still so fucking boring.
Michael doesn’t have much interaction with other people until his baby shower. He’s only expecting his family and Ryan’s to show up, along with Conor who has to come or else Michael’s going to bitch him out and make him feel guilty, but when Cullen shows up on his doorstep with gifts followed closely by Matt and Nathan Michael’s a little shocked. Ricky shows up too with Rebecca and even though Allison is late she arrives with a basket full of baby clothes.
Ricky’s the only one who looks mildly shocked and upset about the pregnancy. “Why am I always the last to know about these things?” He asks, chewing sadly on a piece of cake.
“Sorry Ricky,” Ryan says, patting his shoulder. “When Mike goes into labor you’ll be the first to know.”
Ike makes a choking noise. Ryan says, “Like after I tell my mom, of course.”
They get a whole lot of nice things.
There’s barely enough room in the nursery so they end up stuffing a lot of it into Ryan’s office. Michael doesn’t think two babies would ever need all this stuff but a lot of the clothes they get are for when the babies get older, and some of the stuff Ike and his mom give him he didn’t even think about getting.
It makes Michael realize that they barely have a month until the babies arrive. He’s nervous, the kind of nervous he only gets before a big race, and he starts to get worried about being a shitty dad.
Michael’s just not good with babies. He almost dropped Taylor on her head the first time he held her. He almost gave Connor a scolding hot bottle of milk once. He gags at the thought of changing a dirty diaper and becomes irrationally irritated at the thought of the babies crying throughout the night.
What if it becomes too much and he wants out? He’s not going to just dump one baby on Ryan but two and then fuck up his career as well. No one would ever forgive him if he walked out and he’d carry on the Phelps legacy of shitty fathers.
He voices his concerns to Ryan. Ryan just stares at him and starts to laugh and Michael leaves the room in an emotionally grumpy fashion.
He sits outside around the pool until Ryan comes out and drapes himself over the back of the chair, cheek against Michael’s. “Phelps,” he says, “no one knows shit when they have a baby.”
“We’re having two,” Michael says and wipes a tear away. “I’m gonna fuck this up.”
“Nah,” Ryan says, coming around to sit on the edge of the pool chair. “You get like freakishly determined to get shit done.”
Michael doesn’t say anything. Ryan asks, “Is this about your dad?”
Michael mumbles a yes. Ryan sighs and touches Michael’s belly. “MP man these are your kids and you know what it’s like to be walked out on and you’re not going to let them know what that feels like. And if you fucking do I’m gonna hunt your sorry ass down and drag you back. Or I could show up to every event with them and make you feel like complete shit until you come crawling back.”
Michael laughs and almost pisses himself. “Stop making me laugh I don’t have control of my bladder.”
“Oh sexy,” Ryan says and Michael pushes him off the chair.
The day of his C-section Michael’s so fucking big he can’t get out of bed by himself or get out of the car when they arrive at the hospital. He wants the babies out and he wants them out now.
Ryan’s full of nervous energy and paces around the hospital room.
“Your dick is coming nowhere fucking near me ever fucking again,” Michael says from his hospital bed and makes his way through his third cup of chocolate pudding.
Ryan stops pacing. “But MP,” he whines, “you love my dick.”
“Yeah, well, right about now I really want to cut it off. Can you get me some more pudding?” Michael says sweetly. Ryan blinks at him but he eventually leaves and comes back with more pudding and Michael’s mother.
Michael’s mom and sisters arrived two days ago and the plan is for Debbie to stick around for the first week to help them out and then the next Ike will be available if they need any. Debbie kisses Michael’s cheek and says, “look at you,” and Michael glares over her shoulder at Ryan and says, “yes, look at me.”
Ryan frowns. Debbie says, “Michael don’t be mean. It takes two to tango.”
When it’s time for Dr Waltz to perform the surgery a nurse sticks a long and painful needle into Michael’s spine while he utters, “I’m going to kill you,” to Ryan over and over again. Ryan just sighs and says, “I love you too,” before suiting up in scrubs.
After that it’s kind of blurry for Michael. He’s not knocked out, just can’t feel the lower half of his body, but everything feels surreal. They get him set up in a bright, sterile room with his arms spread out and a thin sheet blocking his view of the operation. Ryan sits next to his head and talks him through the insane amount of pressure Michael can feel and then all of a sudden Dr Waltz is yelling “it’s a boy!” and lifting a baby up for Michael to see and the baby’s crying so loud Michael can barely hear anything.
When Noah finally comes out Michael starts to panic. He’s overwhelmed and he just wants to see his babies but he can’t move and Ryan’s disappeared to inspect them. The babies are screaming their lungs off and Michael’s overwhelmed with the need to go to them and comfort them.
“I want to see my babies,” he says to the closest nurse.
“It’s okay dad, the nurse will be right over with them once we get them cleaned up,” she says and pats him on the shoulder.
Michael wants to yell that he doesn’t want to see his babies when they’re all cleaned up he wants to see them right fucking now but then Ryan comes over and kisses him hard. “Shit Mike they’re so beautiful,” he says, tears in his eyes. “Here, look.”
A nurse hands Ryan one of the babies and Ryan brings the bundle up to Michael’s face. Michael knows right away that it’s Loren. His face is bright pink and eyes still watery but he’s not crying anymore.
“I want to hold him,” Michael cries. “Ryan I want - where’s Noah? Is Noah okay?”
“He’s right here,” a nurse says and brings Noah over so Michael can look at him. “The doctor is just going to finish stitching you up and once the babies have been checked over we’ll bring them to your room.”
They take Michael to his room and drug him up but he’s getting impatient. Ryan has gone to the nursery to make sure their babies have all ten fingers and toes and are all aright because they’re a few weeks premature, leaving Michael alone in his hospital room.
He lets their families know that the babies are out via text and then finally, finally two nurses wheel the babies into the room.
Michael holds Loren first and then hands him over to Ryan so he can hold Noah.
They’re identical. There’s no missing the fact that they have Ryan’s nose, and the same colored eyes, but both have dark brown hair. Noah has more of it but other than that there’s really no telling them apart but Michael already knows who’s who.
Eventually Michael has to give in and let their families come in.
“Mom stop,” Michael whines when his mom starts to cry. “You have grandchildren already.”
“I know,” Debbie sniffles. “I just never thought this would happen.”
Michael makes a face at her. “We were gonna have kids eventually.”
Debbie just sniffles harder and hands Noah over to Devon so she can take Loren from Steven.
The nurses kick their families out when the pain meds starts to wear off. They show them how to prepare a bottle correctly and how to coax the babies into nursing and then leave them to bask in the glory of being new parents.
Michael’s shit tired but even though the babies are sleep he can’t stop looking at them. He wants to stay awake in case they need him or they do something exciting.
“MP,” Ryan eventually says, kissing Michael softly. “Go to sleep. They’ll be here when you wake up.”
Michael falls asleep.
After three days they get sent home.
Michael’s frightened that the dogs are going to tear the babies apart when they get home but Carter and Herman react like perfect gentlemen - Ryan claims dogs know these things, Michael - and Stella tries to lick their faces.
Michael’s sore all over. He feels like he’s been sucker punched in the stomach and his ankles are still acting like he’s carrying around two babies but every time he looks at Noah and Loren he feels such ecstatic delight he can deal with a bit of pain.
Loren is a really laid back baby. He cries when he wants something, but other than that he doesn’t fuss when they give him a sponge bath or change his clothes. Noah on the other hand protests loudly when he gets disturbed.
The first week is relatively easily. Ryan and Debbie are around to help when both babies start to cry at the same time or the dogs start to get rowdy. The second week goes by the same way just with Ike’s help. The third week is total hell.
Ryan has to go back to training. He’s only gone four hours out of the day but Noah and Loren team up and decide that those four hours are the four hours where they’re going to be absolutely evil to Michael.
When Noah starts to cry Loren starts to cry too and never for the same reason. Loren’s hungry but Noah needs his diaper changed or Noah can’t fall asleep and Loren doesn’t want to put clothes on. Michael tries to get them on a schedule but they’re having none of that. And then when Ryan gets home the brats turn into little angles. Michael doesn’t get how three-week-old babies can be such little shits.
Things blow up after two weeks. Michael’s beyond the point of exhaustion, even with Ryan being home a lot, and the glory of the babies is starting to wear thin even though Michael still loves them.
“Maybe we should get a baby nurse,” Ryan suggests, exhausted as well. The babies cry throughout the night and don’t go down for hours keeping him up and making early morning training difficult.
“I don’t need someone to help me take care of my fucking kids,” Michael says with venom. “I can do it myself.”
“You’re exhausting yourself,” Ryan says, not backing down. “And I’m not saying you’re incapable of taking care of them, Mike. I’m just saying why don’t we hire someone to help you take care of them when I’m at practice so you’re not struggling to take care of two newborn babies and three dogs all at the same time?”
Michael rubs at his face. “I - You’re right.”
“Of course I am,” Ryan grins and pins Michael against the kitchen counter, hands on his hips. He kisses Michael and touches his belly, still fascinated by the little bump of left over pregnancy fat.
“Stop,” Michael whines. “You know I don’t like my stomach.”
“Your C-section scar is so sexy to me,” Ryan murmurs.
“Dude,” Michael says. “You’re gross.”
“You’re trying to oppress my sexuality,” Ryan complains. “Mike, that isn’t fair.”
Michael rolls his eyes. When Ryan touches his boob he swats his hand away. “Stop that.”
“You know you like it when I touch them,” Ryan says. Michael presses his lips into a thin line because he does like when Ryan touches his boobs but he’d wish they’d go away already. He doesn’t feel like a man with them and he really wants his dick back.
“Do they make milk?” Ryan asks.
“Oh my god,” Michael says. “Don’t you dare say you want to taste it.”
Ryan doesn’t reply. Michael gapes. “You can’t be serious!”
Ryan just frowns and fondles Michael’s boob again.
They spend two weeks interviewing the best baby nurses in Gainesville and settle on a thirty-year-old redhead named Donna. She’s sweet, but sassy, and knows everything there is to know about babies.
Michael’s girl parts disappear and his dick comes back and to celebrate they leave the babies with their Grandma Ike while they stay at home and fuck like rabbits.
The babies get older and start to do more things other than lie on their backs and cry. They begin to put things in their mouths and hold up objects and smile and even though they were complete shits in the beginning Michael falls in love with them all over again. It actually pains him to leave them with Donna when he finally gets back to training and goes to the pool or gym with Ryan.
Life is nice - more than just nice. Michael still wants to end Clary but he begrudgingly has to thank the piece of shit for fucking him over and bringing the two best things to ever happen to Michael into his life.
He’s never loved anything more than he loves his kids, not even Ryan, and he refuses to imagine life without them.
part one part two AO3