Is it Great Big Cosmic Joke Day again?
It all started when I woke up...
Eyes open, wide awake! Wow, feels like I've only been asleep for half an hour. *looks at clock* I have only been asleep for half an hour. WTFIGO?
Brain (my brain has Stewie's voice, btw): "HELLO!?! I SAY! HELLO!?!"
Me: "I mean, WTF!?!"
Brain: "HELLO! Oh god, this is ludicrous...IS THIS THING ON?"
Me: What the hell happened? Why is my alarm going off?
Brain: "It's because you only fell asleep half an hour before you were supposed to wake up! You moron. Now drag your sorry meatsack downstairs and make me coffee."
Okay, so I'd spent quite an uncomfortable night. Fair enough, it had been a bit of an uncomfortable day, but I'm pleased to say the injury is healing nicely, allowing me to do a little more each day while I'm on light duties. All pretty good there with the only real downside being unable to get properly comfortable and losing some sleep over it. It'll all level out again soon.
I get into work at 0830 to find they want me to do some deliveries in Reigate and, while I'm more or less in the area, could I help Mick out and do a few drops in Dorking? Yeah, okay, even with them I still have less than yesterday, so it's no problem. Little did I know that by the end of the day I would have covered four counties, been to the seaside and driven on the M25. For those unfamiliar with the area, let me draw you a map. Pay attention now...
Off I go then, from the depot in Crawley. I finish my deliveries in Reigate and move on to Dorking. On the way I get a message asking me to collect from a business in Westcott, so I head off there and who do you think was there when I arrived to collect? Yep. It was Mick, just leaving from a delivery. Transport Office cock-up. Bloody annoying.
Next, as I leave, I call back to the office to find out what they want me to do next. Another collection, they say. In Worthing. Given that we normally work our own little patches of (mostly) West Sussex, you have to wonder how I felt about having to travel from somewhere that's so far in the north of the county it's not even in the county at all (in fact, it's in Surrey), to somewhere so far in the south of the county that the next most southernly thing is France. Yeah, you can bet I rolled my eyes. Several times.
That all went swimmingly. Despite the cock-ups and annoyances going on around me, I was handling it all nicely and coming out the all-round-good-guy. I got back to the depot at 1600 and unloaded while chatting to James, the temporary depot manager he remarked that I'd not made it into East Sussex today. I laugh, but all of a sudden my postie-sense is tingling. This is going somewhere. It is, and so am I. At 1610, I am on my way to East Grinstead on a mission. A customer would like to use our new Global Express (GX) delivery service but their despatch time is awfully close to the cut-off for shipping. Leaving at 1700, just me and an empty van have to see if it's possible to drive to the overseas shipping depot in Tunbridge Wells (which is so far east it's not even in the next county...it's through East Sussex and into Kent) before 1740. I get there at 1745. With a little bit of wiggle room on all sides, it could be do-able. Call the customer to let them know for them to say thanks but their going with different delivery service now anyway...because they're cheaper. Groan. Come back to base via the M25, where I observed the ritual application of the handbrake. Arrive back at depot at 1900.
I'd had enough by then, but the day still wasn't done with me.
I walked down to the bus stop, to find the bus had just left, so I'd have to wait until 1945 for the next one. Joy. Not that it mattered as it happens because when I put my hand in my pocket, I remembered the other thing I didn't have time for due to rushing about all day. I didn't get any money. I didn't have the bus fare anyway. Aaarrgh! It's the long walk home but I get about 700 yards before I starting limping a bit. As I'm deciding how much more I can take, my sunglasses fall off my head and break on the floor. I sat on the nearest wall, rang blaadyblah and conceded to needing rescue. She drove out, picked me up and took me back to my place.
You remember my place, right? The house I share with two other blokes? Nice it is. Trouble is, it doesn't belong to us anymore. It got sold yesterday. I now have about six weeks to find somewhere new to live. Again.
I've had enough of moving and I've had enough of today. I'm turning my brain off. I have booze, pills and a smoke and am about to perform a medical lobotomy. Night all.
P.S. - excuse any spelling/grammar errors or general typos. I totally can't be arsed to proof read.
Eyes open, wide awake! Wow, feels like I've only been asleep for half an hour. *looks at clock* I have only been asleep for half an hour. WTFIGO?
Brain (my brain has Stewie's voice, btw): "HELLO!?! I SAY! HELLO!?!"
Me: "I mean, WTF!?!"
Brain: "HELLO! Oh god, this is ludicrous...IS THIS THING ON?"
Me: What the hell happened? Why is my alarm going off?
Brain: "It's because you only fell asleep half an hour before you were supposed to wake up! You moron. Now drag your sorry meatsack downstairs and make me coffee."
Okay, so I'd spent quite an uncomfortable night. Fair enough, it had been a bit of an uncomfortable day, but I'm pleased to say the injury is healing nicely, allowing me to do a little more each day while I'm on light duties. All pretty good there with the only real downside being unable to get properly comfortable and losing some sleep over it. It'll all level out again soon.
I get into work at 0830 to find they want me to do some deliveries in Reigate and, while I'm more or less in the area, could I help Mick out and do a few drops in Dorking? Yeah, okay, even with them I still have less than yesterday, so it's no problem. Little did I know that by the end of the day I would have covered four counties, been to the seaside and driven on the M25. For those unfamiliar with the area, let me draw you a map. Pay attention now...
Off I go then, from the depot in Crawley. I finish my deliveries in Reigate and move on to Dorking. On the way I get a message asking me to collect from a business in Westcott, so I head off there and who do you think was there when I arrived to collect? Yep. It was Mick, just leaving from a delivery. Transport Office cock-up. Bloody annoying.
Next, as I leave, I call back to the office to find out what they want me to do next. Another collection, they say. In Worthing. Given that we normally work our own little patches of (mostly) West Sussex, you have to wonder how I felt about having to travel from somewhere that's so far in the north of the county it's not even in the county at all (in fact, it's in Surrey), to somewhere so far in the south of the county that the next most southernly thing is France. Yeah, you can bet I rolled my eyes. Several times.
That all went swimmingly. Despite the cock-ups and annoyances going on around me, I was handling it all nicely and coming out the all-round-good-guy. I got back to the depot at 1600 and unloaded while chatting to James, the temporary depot manager he remarked that I'd not made it into East Sussex today. I laugh, but all of a sudden my postie-sense is tingling. This is going somewhere. It is, and so am I. At 1610, I am on my way to East Grinstead on a mission. A customer would like to use our new Global Express (GX) delivery service but their despatch time is awfully close to the cut-off for shipping. Leaving at 1700, just me and an empty van have to see if it's possible to drive to the overseas shipping depot in Tunbridge Wells (which is so far east it's not even in the next county...it's through East Sussex and into Kent) before 1740. I get there at 1745. With a little bit of wiggle room on all sides, it could be do-able. Call the customer to let them know for them to say thanks but their going with different delivery service now anyway...because they're cheaper. Groan. Come back to base via the M25, where I observed the ritual application of the handbrake. Arrive back at depot at 1900.
I'd had enough by then, but the day still wasn't done with me.
I walked down to the bus stop, to find the bus had just left, so I'd have to wait until 1945 for the next one. Joy. Not that it mattered as it happens because when I put my hand in my pocket, I remembered the other thing I didn't have time for due to rushing about all day. I didn't get any money. I didn't have the bus fare anyway. Aaarrgh! It's the long walk home but I get about 700 yards before I starting limping a bit. As I'm deciding how much more I can take, my sunglasses fall off my head and break on the floor. I sat on the nearest wall, rang blaadyblah and conceded to needing rescue. She drove out, picked me up and took me back to my place.
You remember my place, right? The house I share with two other blokes? Nice it is. Trouble is, it doesn't belong to us anymore. It got sold yesterday. I now have about six weeks to find somewhere new to live. Again.
I've had enough of moving and I've had enough of today. I'm turning my brain off. I have booze, pills and a smoke and am about to perform a medical lobotomy. Night all.
P.S. - excuse any spelling/grammar errors or general typos. I totally can't be arsed to proof read.