i stuff eighty different things into one post because i am lazy
Freddie, you need to stop telling girls they’re beautiful with your bedroom eyes and then jumping to defend their honor from psychopaths. We’ve all seen how that story ends, and it involves your brain matter on a Louisville slugger.
Although, I will say that I am intensely interested in any scene that will involve you and my favorite Borgia in the same frame. Hint: my favorite Borgia is not blonde or petit. Nor does he wear a dress. So far. There were some sinful pleather pants that looked even better when wet involved in last night’s episode, though.
Ugh, Luke and Francois might be enough to overcome the power of a possible incestuous relationship for me. Like, I think Lucrezia will legitimately turn into a total hbic (although people seem to be expecting her to lead the feminist revolution like, four hundred and fifty years too early. I’m not saying she wasn’t a historical bamf, but where this idea that it’s going to happen A- overnight or B- without the help of her looks is beyond me. The late fourteen hundreds, people. They happened.
Okay, I sort of lost my train of thought there for a moment, but my point was that as much as I love me some Cesare/Lucrezia or Cesare/anything, really, it could be a fucking toaster I must have never really gotten past the part where Lucrezia tried to drown Bradley James in a lake, subconsciously, because I do not love her on her own. I do, however, shockingly love Luke in his little cut out tunics, because apparently those soulful sex eyes of his can overcome the horror of his awful hair. AWFUL HAIR.
Francois Arnaud should mess up that awful hair. In bed.
Okay, so someone also needs to explain to me why BBC America is airing BSG. Not that I mind, because BSG should be watched and worshipped by a great many people and the whole world needs to be introduced to KARA FUCKING THRACE especially the emo ass fanfic writers who keep character castrating in the stories I read- like, guys, Kendall Knight does not swoon/cry during sex/break down every time something goes wrong. He does not have a vagina. And even if he did, he’d be more like K-Thrace, and by that I mean one badass of a girl.
Also, if you are crying during sex, you are doing it wrong. Just throwing that out there. I had a whole rant about this, but I’m censoring myself now. Yes, this huge ass post is censored. I type 90wpm and have a lot of feelings about people’s interpretations of teenage boys. This is why we can’t have nice things.
But anyway, BBC America, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but America made BSG. Every once in a while we make things. Other than ballistic missiles and terrible political decisions.
Oh, and while you’re explaining that particular airtime decision, please explain the entirety of D-Who’s newest ep to me, because there was very little I understood, other than the ship thing from the episode about the fat dude who was jealous of Matt Smith’s soccer skills being in a tunnel, and Eleven/River flirting, and that lame bit about Amy being pregnant (did you foreshadow that enough, Moffat?), and the part where my country was mocked subtly and relentlessly.
...And the part during insider where I learned Karen should never try an American accent ever again, because she frightened me.
More relevant to most of you: I want a story about how the boys missed meeting with Gustavo that night because um, I don’t know, Mrs. Magikowski had bingo or something, whatever, NOT IMPORTANT. I want Gustavo to go back to my home country and Kendall to see how sad James is and to be like, okay, fuck it, Logan we’re stealing a car. And then they road trip to California and stalk Gustavo and get famous, but in between there can be sexual tension and quiet stolen moments and boys being boys and sex.
Preferably of the Kendall and James variety, but I wouldn’t mind some OT4 action. That is what I want.
Also a story where Kendall is Princess Amelia from the Princess Diaries, but that is neither here nor there. See, look, I still care about the boys. I haven’t just been sitting around swooning over Cesare Borgia mostly that’s a lie tumblr is like the fucking Parthenon of worship, and before Francois Arnuad I fall to my knees. I also kind of want a story named after More Than A Band from Lemonademouth, because on first listen that song made me giggle and now I’m kind of like OH BOYS ITS YOUR THEME SONG.
Okay, let's talk about something seasonable and uhhhh HAPPY BELATED EASTER. Or as my friends like to call it, Jesus-Zombie day.
Hop was kind of way more adorable than I expected. I really hated Despicable Me, and if I was going to see anything animated I wanted it to be Rio (JESSE EISENBERG’S VOICE OMG), but I underestimated it. Maybe it was all the jokes about how James Marsden needed to leave the nest and get a job, aka summer 2010 por moi, and LOOK MOM I COULD BE THE EASTER BUNNY I’d like that so much better than social work if I wasn’t kind of scared of bunnies.
The covers of Bunnicula traumatized me as a child, and yes, I realize he sucked carrot juice. My childhood fears are still valid, goddamnit.
Or it could have been the fact that Eleanor Waldorf was his mother (and how did I not realize that there was a different actress playing her in the pilot of GG?) which didn’t seem biologically possible, because she can’t be more than ten years older than him, or maybe it was Russell Brand, but idek, the whole thing was cute. Be belatedly seasonable and see it.
Unless you are my boyfriend, in which case you can do what he does every major Christian holiday and interrogate me like a three year old about why Catholic-y things are the way they are and then finish the argument by saying Krishna would beat Jesus down in his god-fight video game.
Although, I will say that I am intensely interested in any scene that will involve you and my favorite Borgia in the same frame. Hint: my favorite Borgia is not blonde or petit. Nor does he wear a dress. So far. There were some sinful pleather pants that looked even better when wet involved in last night’s episode, though.
Ugh, Luke and Francois might be enough to overcome the power of a possible incestuous relationship for me. Like, I think Lucrezia will legitimately turn into a total hbic (although people seem to be expecting her to lead the feminist revolution like, four hundred and fifty years too early. I’m not saying she wasn’t a historical bamf, but where this idea that it’s going to happen A- overnight or B- without the help of her looks is beyond me. The late fourteen hundreds, people. They happened.
Okay, I sort of lost my train of thought there for a moment, but my point was that as much as I love me some Cesare/Lucrezia or Cesare/anything, really, it could be a fucking toaster I must have never really gotten past the part where Lucrezia tried to drown Bradley James in a lake, subconsciously, because I do not love her on her own. I do, however, shockingly love Luke in his little cut out tunics, because apparently those soulful sex eyes of his can overcome the horror of his awful hair. AWFUL HAIR.
Francois Arnaud should mess up that awful hair. In bed.
Okay, so someone also needs to explain to me why BBC America is airing BSG. Not that I mind, because BSG should be watched and worshipped by a great many people and the whole world needs to be introduced to KARA FUCKING THRACE especially the emo ass fanfic writers who keep character castrating in the stories I read- like, guys, Kendall Knight does not swoon/cry during sex/break down every time something goes wrong. He does not have a vagina. And even if he did, he’d be more like K-Thrace, and by that I mean one badass of a girl.
Also, if you are crying during sex, you are doing it wrong. Just throwing that out there. I had a whole rant about this, but I’m censoring myself now. Yes, this huge ass post is censored. I type 90wpm and have a lot of feelings about people’s interpretations of teenage boys. This is why we can’t have nice things.
But anyway, BBC America, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but America made BSG. Every once in a while we make things. Other than ballistic missiles and terrible political decisions.
Oh, and while you’re explaining that particular airtime decision, please explain the entirety of D-Who’s newest ep to me, because there was very little I understood, other than the ship thing from the episode about the fat dude who was jealous of Matt Smith’s soccer skills being in a tunnel, and Eleven/River flirting, and that lame bit about Amy being pregnant (did you foreshadow that enough, Moffat?), and the part where my country was mocked subtly and relentlessly.
...And the part during insider where I learned Karen should never try an American accent ever again, because she frightened me.
More relevant to most of you: I want a story about how the boys missed meeting with Gustavo that night because um, I don’t know, Mrs. Magikowski had bingo or something, whatever, NOT IMPORTANT. I want Gustavo to go back to my home country and Kendall to see how sad James is and to be like, okay, fuck it, Logan we’re stealing a car. And then they road trip to California and stalk Gustavo and get famous, but in between there can be sexual tension and quiet stolen moments and boys being boys and sex.
Preferably of the Kendall and James variety, but I wouldn’t mind some OT4 action. That is what I want.
Also a story where Kendall is Princess Amelia from the Princess Diaries, but that is neither here nor there. See, look, I still care about the boys. I haven’t just been sitting around swooning over Cesare Borgia mostly that’s a lie tumblr is like the fucking Parthenon of worship, and before Francois Arnuad I fall to my knees. I also kind of want a story named after More Than A Band from Lemonademouth, because on first listen that song made me giggle and now I’m kind of like OH BOYS ITS YOUR THEME SONG.
Okay, let's talk about something seasonable and uhhhh HAPPY BELATED EASTER. Or as my friends like to call it, Jesus-Zombie day.
Hop was kind of way more adorable than I expected. I really hated Despicable Me, and if I was going to see anything animated I wanted it to be Rio (JESSE EISENBERG’S VOICE OMG), but I underestimated it. Maybe it was all the jokes about how James Marsden needed to leave the nest and get a job, aka summer 2010 por moi, and LOOK MOM I COULD BE THE EASTER BUNNY I’d like that so much better than social work if I wasn’t kind of scared of bunnies.
The covers of Bunnicula traumatized me as a child, and yes, I realize he sucked carrot juice. My childhood fears are still valid, goddamnit.
Or it could have been the fact that Eleanor Waldorf was his mother (and how did I not realize that there was a different actress playing her in the pilot of GG?) which didn’t seem biologically possible, because she can’t be more than ten years older than him, or maybe it was Russell Brand, but idek, the whole thing was cute. Be belatedly seasonable and see it.
Unless you are my boyfriend, in which case you can do what he does every major Christian holiday and interrogate me like a three year old about why Catholic-y things are the way they are and then finish the argument by saying Krishna would beat Jesus down in his god-fight video game.