[Fic] Forbidden Love - Ch9
Chapter 9: Between Reality and Imagination
~ 8 Months ago~
Naomi was cooking while Hitoshi was watching a baseball game. The house was very quiet except for the sounds that coming from the TV. Kazuya was upstairs in his room preparing to go to school. Suddenly, the home phone started to ring.
Naomi: Honey, answer the phone!
Hitoshi: ………
Naomi: HITOSHI!
Hitoshi: What?
Naomi: *irritated* will you answer the phone?
Hitoshi: I can’t! This is a very critical point in the match babe!
Naomi: *sighs and mumbles* men and sports
Naomi picked up the phone and was delighted that it was Hiromi on the line. However, soon her expressions changed to being worried since she heard Hiromi crying.
Naomi: What’s wrong Hiromi? Did something happen?
Hiromi: *sobs*..I-I…lost him…m-my son……my Jin…..Nao…mi…..he….I still….can’t believe…..why…..
Naomi: Slow down Hiromi, I don’t get what you’re saying! What’s wrong with Jin?
Naomi noticed that Kazuya just got downstairs and as usual, he ignored their existence. Her heart clenched in pain seeing her son like a walking dead corpse. Kazuya passed the kitchen and walked without even glancing at her. However, what she heard the second that Kazuya passed by the kitchen made her eyes widen in total shock looking at her son in horror.
Hiromi: My son Naomi….Jin…he killed himself!
And the phone slipped from Naomi’s hands since her whole body had Goosebumps and her emotions were extreme. She felt bad for the thought of losing Jin. Sad because she couldn’t imagine Jin thinking of killing himself. Regret because she knew that taking Kazuya was probably the main reason for what he did. Agony because she loved her nephew so much like her own son which was the main reason she couldn’t approve of their relation. Shock because this was too sudden and too much to comprehend. Relief because it wasn’t Kazuya who did this. Sympathy because she felt sorry for Hiromi, a mother who lost her child which is something that can never be easy to go through. Horror because Kazuya might follow him soon. It was too much to feel at seconds especially when you want to shout to yourself and say that all of this is a lie because it would make it much easier. Hitoshi jumped from the couch heading to the kitchen once he heard the drop of something that definitely broke because it hit the floor. He ran toward his wife to see her on the floor crying silently.
Hitoshi: OMG! What happened Naomi? Are you ok?
And once Naomi felt the tight hug of her husband and the warmth that enveloped her, she cried hysterically. Her body trembling with each heart beat and falling tear. She felt weak, so weak that Hitoshi had to carry her to the couch and brought water to splash on her face. Hitoshi freaked out because it was the first time he saw Naomi in this state since he met her. Naomi couldn’t talk and couldn’t say anything at all; she felt almost like she lost every cell in her body and couldn’t feel anything except despair. Soon, she lost consciences when Hitoshi was asking her about what happened. He freaked out because in a second, she was looking at him and almost like she wasn’t and now she’s completely out. He took her to the hospital and soon, he learned the reason for her state and he couldn’t stop his tears too. He called Reyoma because he couldn’t believe that Jin could do something like that.
~After 2 months from Jin incident ~
Naomi and Hitoshi became unbearable for Kazuya. They would freak out if they saw his bedroom door closed. They kept checking on him every 30 minutes or less. Kazuya knew that something was wrong since 2 months ago. His parents actually left him for couple of days and went somewhere, as they said, on a holiday. He kept cursing them deep inside of himself because he felt like they were living their life normally when he is suffering so much. He tried calling Jin’s cell phone, but it never got connected. He figured that his uncle and aunt probably took Jin’s phone from him or broke it just like his dad did. He kept not talking to his parents at all and he never sat with them in one room. Seeing them was too much. However, his mom was incredibly annoying today. She is talking and talking endlessly giving him lectures about life and how he needs to move on. He couldn’t stand it anymore, so he tried to walk away from the room when she tightens her hold on his hand. However, Kazuya pulled his hand so quickly ignoring her completely and tried to go back to his room when he heard something that made him freeze on his spot.
Naomi: You think Jin is coming for you???!!! Stop waiting for nothing!
And that was it for Kazuya because he finally blows up and looked back at his mom.
Kazuya: What the hell do you want from me?? Huh?
Naomi: I want you to move on with your life! You’re still stuck on the moment we left our home!
Kazuya: You mean when you snatched me from home!
Naomi: Name it whatever Kazuya! You know that we love you and-
Kazuya: Oh please spare me from this stupid meaningless love talk! You are a selfish woman who once was a mother to me, but not anymore!
Naomi: You will fight everyone even us just for Jin!
Kazuya: Yes and if I could I’ll even kill you all for him!
Naomi: *flinch from the hard tone* there is no point in doing all that Kazuya!
Kazuya: Maybe for you, but not for me!
Naomi: There is no point in keeping this anger inside of you against us!
Hitoshi finally arrived home from work. Although he said “I’m home”, it was weird that he didn’t get an answer from his wife. After going further inside of the house, he heard his wife and son voices yelling at each other. He didn’t know whether to feel happy because his son was actually speaking to one of them or feel bad for hearing the loud voice that is coming from him.
Kazuya: Will you just leave me alone?!!
Naomi: I won’t!! The person who you love so much is no longe-
Hitoshi: NAOMI!!
Naomi: He’s dead Kazuya! Jin is dead!
Hitoshi couldn’t stop Naomi from blurting that out in the right time although he shouted her name so that she stops. They had promised that they won’t say anything to Kazuya about Jin because it might make him just do the same. Hitoshi stood next to his wife eyeing her with angry eyes for what she done, but she didn’t feel sorry at all because she had it. She reached a point where she wanted her life back; she wanted everything to go back like it used to be. She wanted both her sons back, but since she couldn’t have Jin back, she wanted Kazuya and although Jin was dead to the world, he still had Kazuya who was fighting against them for him. It made her feel jealous and angry because her son is suffering waiting for a person who will never come for him. Not anymore.
Kazuya: *breathes heavily* you’re lying!
Naomi: He didn’t even try to reach you like you said, he killed himself!
Kazuya felt numb and rooted to his spot. His mind couldn’t process what his mom said. He didn’t know why, but he hated himself because a part of him knew that something was wrong with Jin because the latter would have definitely tried to reach him on one way or another even through phone if he was there. A struggle went inside of him fighting for what’s true and what’s not. It’s not the first time his parents lie to him and that fact made him so mad. He believed in Jin and he knows that the latter can’t die, not now….Jin promised him that he will come for him. He promised that they will live together after he graduates. There is just no way Jin would do something like that.
Kazuya: *in a hoarse voice* how could you lie about something like this?
Naomi: I’m not lying!
Kazuya: You would go to the extent of killing your own nephew just to separate us!!
Naomi: It’s the truth!
Hitoshi: She’s not lying Kazuya!
Kazuya: Shut up!! There is just no way Jin would do something like that! He would never……he promised me…..*tears falling* why are you telling such horrible lies??
Naomi: It’s the truth Kazuya! He killed himself and nothing you will say will change that fact!
Kazuya: *screams* GOD!!! I HATE YOU!! I WISH YOU TWO WILL DIE JUST LIKE YOU WISH DEATH FOR JIN!! YOU’RE LYING!! I KNOW YOU ARE! YOU ALWAYS LIE TO ME! YOU ARE THE WORST TYPE OF PEOPLE EVER!! *started to feel dizzy and chocked, he started to grip over his chest while balancing himself on the floor while kneeling breathing very hardly*
Naomi: Kazuya
Naomi tried to move closer to her son to hug him and pat his back, but her husband stopped her from doing anything pulling her hand. However, she pulled her hand from him and went closer to her son. Hitoshi was afraid because he knew that Kazuya temper is bad and he might finally snap on them especially on Naomi which might affect his wife terribly.
Naomi: *she kneeled close to her son touching his shoulder* Kazuya
However, Kazuya flinched from her touch giving her death glares and pushing her away till she fell on the floor while he stood up again.
Kazuya: *yells* don’t you ever touch me again bitch!!
Hitoshi: *eyes widen in shock* KAZUYA!!!
Naomi froze on her spot once her son pushed her almost throwing her to the floor. The Kazuya she knew, the sweet and innocent kid has no longer inside of the current Kazuya. He even named her a ‘bitch’. She felt pain covering every part of her body internally and externally. She truly lost Kazuya 6 months ago from the moment they took him away and left their country. There is no way they can fix things anymore and that fact made her so weak that she tried to fight the tears, but couldn’t.
Hitoshi: Apologize to your mom!
Kazuya: As if I care about what you say! *tears still falling* you both mean nothing to me! Just stay away from me!
Naomi: *crying* Kazuya, I just want you to live your life!
Kazuya: You know….you’re funny…….I no longer have a life anymore…..not without Jin……what’s the use of living a life then?
Hitoshi: so what will you do? Jin is no longer here…..what will you do? How long will you stay fighting against us?
Kazuya: If Jin is no longer here, then I will follow him…..
Naomi: NO!!! NO!!! NOT YOU TOO! PLEASE NOT YOU TOO!!!
Kazuya: Wipe those tears because I don’t believe any single thing that comes out from you! Jin is alive and if he’s not coming for me, I will go to him! I won’t let you interfere in my life anymore! Wait till I reach 18 and I swear I won’t have any relation with you two or uncle and aunt. I don’t want to belong to a family like you! I rather die than stay-
But Kazuya couldn’t complete what he said because he was so emotional and yelling till the point that he felt a sharp pain in his chest and couldn’t breathe till he finally lose consciences.
~Present Time~
Kazuya was in the convenience store to buy juices which are his only food since the incident that happened in school. Everyone noticed how he changed and he almost missed all his classes recently. He would leave his home every day, but didn’t attend his classes. Instead, he would go to the place he found in school that gave him privacy away from everyone. He was just about to pay for what he bought when he glanced outside and saw a person from far away. He swore that it was Jin, but he didn’t even glance for a second time to confirm it or not, he ran in a hurry without any hesitations throwing the stuff he wanted to buy going outside the store through the crowd that it had Jin. He kept searching looking at each one of their faces like a crazy person. People around him were whispering about his weird behavior, but he didn’t stop. Not until he noticed that the crowd was replaced by a completely new one with new faces and more new faces, but none of them had the face of Jin. He suddenly felt weak and remembered that he didn’t eat anything for the whole day and didn’t buy the juices either. Suddenly, a gasp came out from his mouth when someone tapped his shoulder which made him turn around immediately. He was surprised to see the person in front of him. He felt disappointed and his face couldn’t hide that.
Koki: What are you doing Kame?
Kame: Nothing
Koki: You were running like a mad guy. Are you looking for someone?
Kame: I just……I just thought I saw someone I knew….*glanced back at the crowd*
Koki: I see….how are you now?
Kame: Fine
Koki: When are you coming back to school?
Kame: Don’t know
Koki: Hey! Since you’re here, how about we hang out together? *grins*
Kame: ……….
Koki: Kame!
Kame: *looks back at Koki* Huh?
Koki: I said, why not we hang out together?
Kame: Yeah
Koki: COOL! *beams a happy smile at Kazuya* so, where do we go first?
Kame: Anywhere is fine!
Koki: Hey! Why are you so gloomy? I know you’re always gloomy, but lately you’re not yourself.
Kame: What is myself anyway?
Koki: Eh? What do you mean?
Kame: Never mind!
Koki: Did something happen between you and Maki-chan?
Kame: Huh? Why do you ask?
Koki: She seems gloomy as well lately!
Kame: I don’t know!
Koki: You want me to help you and patch things up between you two? *smiles*
Kame: I don’t care about that Koki!
Koki: Huh?
Kame: Why would I worry about her when I don’t even care?
Koki: But Kame….she’s your girlfriend!
Kame: Not really!
Koki: What do you mean?
Kame: Will you do me a favor Koki?
Koki: Of course!
Kame: Will you take care of Maki?
Koki: EHH?? WHY?
Kame: I know you like her a little and she’s a sweet person, I think you two will be great together!
Koki: But she chose you!
Kame: I don’t feel anything toward her Koki, not even like or anything….She’s better off with you!
Koki: But Kam-
Kame: I already have someone!
Koki: SERIOSULY??!
Kame: She knows that as well, I have someone back home! No one can replace that person!
Koki: Wow! Is she hot?
Kame: *chuckles* yes, you can say that…*a picture of Jin came to his mind*…definitely…
Koki: Makes me want to see her someday! Then, is it ok for me to not hesitate and take Maki-chan away from you!
Kame: Please do!
There was a moment in silence when Kazuya was deep in thought thinking about his life and how it reached this point. He killed the silence with a sudden question.
Kame: Koki?
Koki: Yeah?
Kame: What do you think about your purpose in life?
Koki: Huh?
Kame: *with expectant eyes*
Koki: *coughs* well….I don’t really think I found my purpose in life!
Kame: What if you did? What will you do?
Koki: I will work hard to achieve it whatever it is!
Kame: And what happens if you lost that purpose?
Koki: What’s up with these questions Kame?
Kame: Will you just answer me?
Koki: Well…if I lose my purpose in life…I guess I’ll search for another one!
Kame: What happens if you can’t find another purpose? What happens if you’re purpose in life is only that one?
Koki: What are you saying? I don’t think I’ll give up on that purpose nor finding another one to replace it, or else….how will I be able to continue living?
Kame: What if you know that there is no other purpose for you? What if you reached a point where you can’t...*in chocked tone* live anymore without that purpose?….what happens when everyone and everything around you is making you give up?
Koki: Ok, what is this all about? What are we even talking about?
Kame: About our purpose in life!
Koki: It sounds almost as if you’re talking about something else….what do you mean by your purpose in life…
Kame: It could be anything….a dream…or someone…
Koki: Tell me then, what is your purpose in life?
Kame: I-I….it’s ….being with someone…
Koki: AH! That someone you have back in home?
Kame: *nods*
Koki: then isn’t it easy?
Kame: *looks at Koki confused*
Koki: All you have to do is keep that someone close to you, right?
Kame: *mumbles* how can I do that when I’m trapped in this place?
Koki: What did you say?
Kame: *shakes his head* Nothing! *feeling little dizzy and lose his balance*
Koki: *catches him before falling* watch out!
Kame: Sorry
Koki: *worried* you’re ok?
Kame: I’m just feeling little dizzy! Sorry, but I think I will go back home!
Koki: I will take you home!
Kame: There is no need for-
Koki: There is no way I’m leaving you like this! You might pass out in the road!
Kame: Koki!
Koki: I mean it Kame, now c’mon…for once, will you rely on me?
~Flashback~
Jin: We’ll never bring anyone even our friends to our home, okay?
Kame: Suits me perfectly!
Jin: Great! *grins*
~End of Flashback~
Kame: “It’s not like I’m going to break that promise because this place was never a home to me!”*after seconds he sighed* Fine!
Koki: *grins* great! Lead the way!
Koki supported Kame on his shoulder so he won’t lose balance especially that Kame was starting to have a blurry vision and becoming dizzier. Once they arrived in an alley that’s 2 blocks away from Kame’s home, Kame saw someone laying his back to the wall a little far. However, he couldn’t see clearly until he focused which made him gasp and stop moving. Koki looked at him puzzled and looked at the direction Kame was looking at where he saw that person. The person looked at them immediately taking notice of their presence. He looked at Kame with gentle eyes. Kame’s heart started to beat so loudly and his body had Goosebumps which was noticed by Koki.
Koki: What’s wrong Kame? Do you know that person?
Kame: Ye- *looks at Koki immediately with widen eyes once he absorbed what Koki said* c-can you see him??
Koki: *confused* Huh? Of course I can! Why would you ask that?
Kame: *looks back at the person* I-I…sorry….I thought I was seeing things….dizzy and all!
Koki: No worries!
Kame: it’s ok now Koki, he will take me back!
Koki: you know him?
Kame: Yeah *takes a deep breath while looking at that person* he’s my cousin!
Koki: Alright! See ya tomorrow!
Kame: *nods while his eyes never left the eyes of the person in front of him*
Koki was hesitating to leave Kame because the atmosphere was very weird and he could feel tension in the air. The person was looking sharply at Koki which scared Koki and he felt so weird. He felt even weirder that Kame didn’t introduce his cousin to him. Kame chuckled in bitterness while looking at the person.
Kame: Will you stop murdering him in your mind?
Jin: *looks back at Kazuya* you know me very well! *scratches his face* so who is he?
Kame: Just a friend! Why? You’re jealous!
Jin: *mumbles* How can I not?
Kame: Is this another dream? Because Koki just saw you, so maybe none of this is actually real…well, it’s doesn’t matter…
Jin: I never knew that people dream while being awake *walks till he was close to Kazuya and extends his hand to touch Kazuya’s cheek* Kazu
Kame: *heart racing like a crazy and pain filling his chest* Jin? *holds his hand on top of Jin while his body started to tremble* are you…really real?
Jin: I think so! *smiles*
Kame: You always answer me that though
Jin: Huh?
Kame: I’ve been waiting for you Jin!
Kame immediately wraps his hands on Jin’s neck so tightly while tears silently travel down from his eyes. Jin wrapped his hands on Kazuya’s waist as tightly as Kazuya’s holding his neck, his face resting on Kazuya’s neck while his tears are falling as well.
Jin: Sorry for being late!
While walking, Koki remembered Kame’s wallet and went back to give it back. While walking to the earlier alley, he stopped immediately upon seeing the scene displayed in front of him. His friend Kame was holding and being held very tightly. He could hear his friend calling ‘Jin’ as a mantra. He left the alley and leaned to the wall next to it. Truth dawned to his system seeing them holding each other like that, he could only feel love radiating from them.
Koki: No wonder Maki-chan didn’t have a chance from the beginning……*glances to his right without looking at them* your cousin Kame? *starts to walk away* “That’s definitely tough!”
Kame: Jin!! *sobs* Jin! I knew they were lying to me! I knew you were coming for me!!
Jin: I promised you, didn’t I? I can never break a promise with you!! God, I missed you so much babe!
Kame: I missed you more!
Both of them kept holding each other tightly till they finally calmed down and their eyes stopped raining tears. They backed away from each other to look at each other faces, but Jin couldn’t wait any longer and started kissing him. Kazuya was startled; it was the first time they kissed in such a place. Yes, they always would do so in their secret place, but that place is deserted from people; however, they were standing in a public place where people were passing by the alley. But, Kazuya returned the kiss. It was just like their first kiss, tasting each other very slowly without rushing. It held so many deep emotions and longing and started to speed up where Jin slipped his tongue inside of Kazuya’s mouth causing both of them to moan. Kazuya was the first to break the kiss since breathe became necessary.
Kame: W-wh…what…..happened?
Jin: Long…story…C’mon, I’m staying…in a motel close from here…
Kame: *hooked his arm with Jin’s* you won’t disappear on me if we went there, right?
Jin: Kazu *hook his fingers with Kazuya’s* I won’t go anywhere anymore Kazu! I promise!
Kame: *smiles and nods*
~In the motel~
Kazuya was leaning to Jin, giving his back to Jin while enjoying the warmth of Jin’s chest and the tight hold of his hands on his waist. Jin was exhaling Kazuya’s scent from his neck while dropping soft kisses there. Kazuya unwrapped a hand of Jin’s and brought it to his lips kissing it lovingly while lifting his head to lean it over Jin’s head, his nose nuzzling on Jin’s cheeks.
Kazuya: *in a chocked tone* I really…missed you
Jin: Me too
Kazuya: I don’t care if you’re real or not anymore or if this is a dream or not….I just want to be with you Jin!
Jin: Were you dreaming about me that much?
Kazuya: What do you think?
Jin: Me too, it drove me crazy…
Kazuya: But you always end up disappearing on me
Jin: Well, you always end up out of my reach
Kazuya: Jin….my mom……she…..said awful things about you….
Jin: *raised his face away looking at Kazuya* what did she say?
Kazuya: She said…..that you….you….died….killed yourself…
Jin: *looking away from Kazuya’s gaze*
Kazuya: *lifts up Jin’s face so his eyes meet his* Jin?
Jin: It’s true
Kazuya: *pain stabbed his heart remembering his nightmares* forget I asked! I don’t care! Just don’t disappear please! *turning around to hug Jin tightly* let us stay longer like this!
Jin: I’m sorry Kazu!
Kazuya: No, please Jin…*tears falling*...don’t leave me alone!! Please!! Please take me away with you!!
Jin: *hugs Kazuya tightly* I already told you that I won’t leave you again!
Kazuya: Then stop saying sorry!!
Jin: I’m sorry because of what I did! I….If I….
Kazuya: It’s doesn’t matter….as long as I can touch you like this again…..I don’t care about anything else….
Jin: *pushes Kazuya away gently to face him* Kazu, listen to me….I’m real! What am I supposed to do to make you believe me?
Kazuya: Hold me! *places both his hands on Jin’s cheeks* hold me tightly and never let go of me!
Jin: I’m holding you right now, aren’t I?
Kazuya: No! I want you Jin; I want to feel you deep in me!
---------
Kazuya: That’s enough Jin
Jin: But, I have to prepare you thoroughly…it’s been a while and I don’t have a lube…
Kazuya: I don’t care! I want you inside of me now babe!!
Jin: Kazu, I’m not going anywhere, so why are you rushing this?
Kazuya: How would I know you won’t?
Jin: Fine, but don’t complain how it hurts later!
Jin placed his manhood on Kazuya’s private hole, slipping the tip and trying to slide it whole inside. But, it truly was hurting Kazuya who groaned from the sharp pain, but had his hands on Jin’s arms pushing him deep inside of himself…Jin finally was deep inside Kazuya, but didn’t move at all while Kazuya had teary eyes while breathing heavily feeling penetrated deeply.
Kazuya: Move Jin
Jin: That’s enough Kazu *wraps his hands on Kazuya’s neck*I know how badly it hurts you!
Kazuya: I want to feel…this pain…please….ugh….it’s making me…feel…*breathes heavily*alive again!
Jin: Babe please I can’t hu-
But Jin couldn’t continue what he was saying because he watched his younger boyfriend lose conscious made him freak out.
Kazuya finally opened his eyes still absorbed when suddenly he remembered what happened and rushed to sit, but groaned loudly in pain. His back hurts so badly as well as numbed ass. After couple of seconds, he started laughing knowing that this was real….it can’t be imagination, right?
He looked around and noticed the weird surroundings then remembered he was in the motel in Jin’s room. He looked around for Jin, calling his name, but there was no answer. Kazuya started to panic yelling Jin’s name loudly while trying with his remaining strength to leave the bed. He went to the bathroom in hope to find Jin, but he saw no one. He went back to the room and noticed that there was nothing of Jin’s possession. His tears started to fall and he kept yelling.
Kazuya: You promised me!! Why did you break your promise?? You said you won’t disappear!!! WHY??? WHY JIN???
Kazuya was crying hysterically like an abandoned puppy not being able to lift his body anymore because all strength left him. He truly felt abandoned and didn’t know if what happened is real or not. Was he imagining the pain he was feeling in his back too? Then how did he come to this motel? Thoughts kept flying around his head, but what hurt him the most is the fact that he truly lost it. What’s happening to him?
Chapter 10: What Really Happened…?
~ 8 Months ago~
Naomi was cooking while Hitoshi was watching a baseball game. The house was very quiet except for the sounds that coming from the TV. Kazuya was upstairs in his room preparing to go to school. Suddenly, the home phone started to ring.
Naomi: Honey, answer the phone!
Hitoshi: ………
Naomi: HITOSHI!
Hitoshi: What?
Naomi: *irritated* will you answer the phone?
Hitoshi: I can’t! This is a very critical point in the match babe!
Naomi: *sighs and mumbles* men and sports
Naomi picked up the phone and was delighted that it was Hiromi on the line. However, soon her expressions changed to being worried since she heard Hiromi crying.
Naomi: What’s wrong Hiromi? Did something happen?
Hiromi: *sobs*..I-I…lost him…m-my son……my Jin…..Nao…mi…..he….I still….can’t believe…..why…..
Naomi: Slow down Hiromi, I don’t get what you’re saying! What’s wrong with Jin?
Naomi noticed that Kazuya just got downstairs and as usual, he ignored their existence. Her heart clenched in pain seeing her son like a walking dead corpse. Kazuya passed the kitchen and walked without even glancing at her. However, what she heard the second that Kazuya passed by the kitchen made her eyes widen in total shock looking at her son in horror.
Hiromi: My son Naomi….Jin…he killed himself!
And the phone slipped from Naomi’s hands since her whole body had Goosebumps and her emotions were extreme. She felt bad for the thought of losing Jin. Sad because she couldn’t imagine Jin thinking of killing himself. Regret because she knew that taking Kazuya was probably the main reason for what he did. Agony because she loved her nephew so much like her own son which was the main reason she couldn’t approve of their relation. Shock because this was too sudden and too much to comprehend. Relief because it wasn’t Kazuya who did this. Sympathy because she felt sorry for Hiromi, a mother who lost her child which is something that can never be easy to go through. Horror because Kazuya might follow him soon. It was too much to feel at seconds especially when you want to shout to yourself and say that all of this is a lie because it would make it much easier. Hitoshi jumped from the couch heading to the kitchen once he heard the drop of something that definitely broke because it hit the floor. He ran toward his wife to see her on the floor crying silently.
Hitoshi: OMG! What happened Naomi? Are you ok?
And once Naomi felt the tight hug of her husband and the warmth that enveloped her, she cried hysterically. Her body trembling with each heart beat and falling tear. She felt weak, so weak that Hitoshi had to carry her to the couch and brought water to splash on her face. Hitoshi freaked out because it was the first time he saw Naomi in this state since he met her. Naomi couldn’t talk and couldn’t say anything at all; she felt almost like she lost every cell in her body and couldn’t feel anything except despair. Soon, she lost consciences when Hitoshi was asking her about what happened. He freaked out because in a second, she was looking at him and almost like she wasn’t and now she’s completely out. He took her to the hospital and soon, he learned the reason for her state and he couldn’t stop his tears too. He called Reyoma because he couldn’t believe that Jin could do something like that.
~After 2 months from Jin incident ~
Naomi and Hitoshi became unbearable for Kazuya. They would freak out if they saw his bedroom door closed. They kept checking on him every 30 minutes or less. Kazuya knew that something was wrong since 2 months ago. His parents actually left him for couple of days and went somewhere, as they said, on a holiday. He kept cursing them deep inside of himself because he felt like they were living their life normally when he is suffering so much. He tried calling Jin’s cell phone, but it never got connected. He figured that his uncle and aunt probably took Jin’s phone from him or broke it just like his dad did. He kept not talking to his parents at all and he never sat with them in one room. Seeing them was too much. However, his mom was incredibly annoying today. She is talking and talking endlessly giving him lectures about life and how he needs to move on. He couldn’t stand it anymore, so he tried to walk away from the room when she tightens her hold on his hand. However, Kazuya pulled his hand so quickly ignoring her completely and tried to go back to his room when he heard something that made him freeze on his spot.
Naomi: You think Jin is coming for you???!!! Stop waiting for nothing!
And that was it for Kazuya because he finally blows up and looked back at his mom.
Kazuya: What the hell do you want from me?? Huh?
Naomi: I want you to move on with your life! You’re still stuck on the moment we left our home!
Kazuya: You mean when you snatched me from home!
Naomi: Name it whatever Kazuya! You know that we love you and-
Kazuya: Oh please spare me from this stupid meaningless love talk! You are a selfish woman who once was a mother to me, but not anymore!
Naomi: You will fight everyone even us just for Jin!
Kazuya: Yes and if I could I’ll even kill you all for him!
Naomi: *flinch from the hard tone* there is no point in doing all that Kazuya!
Kazuya: Maybe for you, but not for me!
Naomi: There is no point in keeping this anger inside of you against us!
Hitoshi finally arrived home from work. Although he said “I’m home”, it was weird that he didn’t get an answer from his wife. After going further inside of the house, he heard his wife and son voices yelling at each other. He didn’t know whether to feel happy because his son was actually speaking to one of them or feel bad for hearing the loud voice that is coming from him.
Kazuya: Will you just leave me alone?!!
Naomi: I won’t!! The person who you love so much is no longe-
Hitoshi: NAOMI!!
Naomi: He’s dead Kazuya! Jin is dead!
Hitoshi couldn’t stop Naomi from blurting that out in the right time although he shouted her name so that she stops. They had promised that they won’t say anything to Kazuya about Jin because it might make him just do the same. Hitoshi stood next to his wife eyeing her with angry eyes for what she done, but she didn’t feel sorry at all because she had it. She reached a point where she wanted her life back; she wanted everything to go back like it used to be. She wanted both her sons back, but since she couldn’t have Jin back, she wanted Kazuya and although Jin was dead to the world, he still had Kazuya who was fighting against them for him. It made her feel jealous and angry because her son is suffering waiting for a person who will never come for him. Not anymore.
Kazuya: *breathes heavily* you’re lying!
Naomi: He didn’t even try to reach you like you said, he killed himself!
Kazuya felt numb and rooted to his spot. His mind couldn’t process what his mom said. He didn’t know why, but he hated himself because a part of him knew that something was wrong with Jin because the latter would have definitely tried to reach him on one way or another even through phone if he was there. A struggle went inside of him fighting for what’s true and what’s not. It’s not the first time his parents lie to him and that fact made him so mad. He believed in Jin and he knows that the latter can’t die, not now….Jin promised him that he will come for him. He promised that they will live together after he graduates. There is just no way Jin would do something like that.
Kazuya: *in a hoarse voice* how could you lie about something like this?
Naomi: I’m not lying!
Kazuya: You would go to the extent of killing your own nephew just to separate us!!
Naomi: It’s the truth!
Hitoshi: She’s not lying Kazuya!
Kazuya: Shut up!! There is just no way Jin would do something like that! He would never……he promised me…..*tears falling* why are you telling such horrible lies??
Naomi: It’s the truth Kazuya! He killed himself and nothing you will say will change that fact!
Kazuya: *screams* GOD!!! I HATE YOU!! I WISH YOU TWO WILL DIE JUST LIKE YOU WISH DEATH FOR JIN!! YOU’RE LYING!! I KNOW YOU ARE! YOU ALWAYS LIE TO ME! YOU ARE THE WORST TYPE OF PEOPLE EVER!! *started to feel dizzy and chocked, he started to grip over his chest while balancing himself on the floor while kneeling breathing very hardly*
Naomi: Kazuya
Naomi tried to move closer to her son to hug him and pat his back, but her husband stopped her from doing anything pulling her hand. However, she pulled her hand from him and went closer to her son. Hitoshi was afraid because he knew that Kazuya temper is bad and he might finally snap on them especially on Naomi which might affect his wife terribly.
Naomi: *she kneeled close to her son touching his shoulder* Kazuya
However, Kazuya flinched from her touch giving her death glares and pushing her away till she fell on the floor while he stood up again.
Kazuya: *yells* don’t you ever touch me again bitch!!
Hitoshi: *eyes widen in shock* KAZUYA!!!
Naomi froze on her spot once her son pushed her almost throwing her to the floor. The Kazuya she knew, the sweet and innocent kid has no longer inside of the current Kazuya. He even named her a ‘bitch’. She felt pain covering every part of her body internally and externally. She truly lost Kazuya 6 months ago from the moment they took him away and left their country. There is no way they can fix things anymore and that fact made her so weak that she tried to fight the tears, but couldn’t.
Hitoshi: Apologize to your mom!
Kazuya: As if I care about what you say! *tears still falling* you both mean nothing to me! Just stay away from me!
Naomi: *crying* Kazuya, I just want you to live your life!
Kazuya: You know….you’re funny…….I no longer have a life anymore…..not without Jin……what’s the use of living a life then?
Hitoshi: so what will you do? Jin is no longer here…..what will you do? How long will you stay fighting against us?
Kazuya: If Jin is no longer here, then I will follow him…..
Naomi: NO!!! NO!!! NOT YOU TOO! PLEASE NOT YOU TOO!!!
Kazuya: Wipe those tears because I don’t believe any single thing that comes out from you! Jin is alive and if he’s not coming for me, I will go to him! I won’t let you interfere in my life anymore! Wait till I reach 18 and I swear I won’t have any relation with you two or uncle and aunt. I don’t want to belong to a family like you! I rather die than stay-
But Kazuya couldn’t complete what he said because he was so emotional and yelling till the point that he felt a sharp pain in his chest and couldn’t breathe till he finally lose consciences.
~Present Time~
Kazuya was in the convenience store to buy juices which are his only food since the incident that happened in school. Everyone noticed how he changed and he almost missed all his classes recently. He would leave his home every day, but didn’t attend his classes. Instead, he would go to the place he found in school that gave him privacy away from everyone. He was just about to pay for what he bought when he glanced outside and saw a person from far away. He swore that it was Jin, but he didn’t even glance for a second time to confirm it or not, he ran in a hurry without any hesitations throwing the stuff he wanted to buy going outside the store through the crowd that it had Jin. He kept searching looking at each one of their faces like a crazy person. People around him were whispering about his weird behavior, but he didn’t stop. Not until he noticed that the crowd was replaced by a completely new one with new faces and more new faces, but none of them had the face of Jin. He suddenly felt weak and remembered that he didn’t eat anything for the whole day and didn’t buy the juices either. Suddenly, a gasp came out from his mouth when someone tapped his shoulder which made him turn around immediately. He was surprised to see the person in front of him. He felt disappointed and his face couldn’t hide that.
Koki: What are you doing Kame?
Kame: Nothing
Koki: You were running like a mad guy. Are you looking for someone?
Kame: I just……I just thought I saw someone I knew….*glanced back at the crowd*
Koki: I see….how are you now?
Kame: Fine
Koki: When are you coming back to school?
Kame: Don’t know
Koki: Hey! Since you’re here, how about we hang out together? *grins*
Kame: ……….
Koki: Kame!
Kame: *looks back at Koki* Huh?
Koki: I said, why not we hang out together?
Kame: Yeah
Koki: COOL! *beams a happy smile at Kazuya* so, where do we go first?
Kame: Anywhere is fine!
Koki: Hey! Why are you so gloomy? I know you’re always gloomy, but lately you’re not yourself.
Kame: What is myself anyway?
Koki: Eh? What do you mean?
Kame: Never mind!
Koki: Did something happen between you and Maki-chan?
Kame: Huh? Why do you ask?
Koki: She seems gloomy as well lately!
Kame: I don’t know!
Koki: You want me to help you and patch things up between you two? *smiles*
Kame: I don’t care about that Koki!
Koki: Huh?
Kame: Why would I worry about her when I don’t even care?
Koki: But Kame….she’s your girlfriend!
Kame: Not really!
Koki: What do you mean?
Kame: Will you do me a favor Koki?
Koki: Of course!
Kame: Will you take care of Maki?
Koki: EHH?? WHY?
Kame: I know you like her a little and she’s a sweet person, I think you two will be great together!
Koki: But she chose you!
Kame: I don’t feel anything toward her Koki, not even like or anything….She’s better off with you!
Koki: But Kam-
Kame: I already have someone!
Koki: SERIOSULY??!
Kame: She knows that as well, I have someone back home! No one can replace that person!
Koki: Wow! Is she hot?
Kame: *chuckles* yes, you can say that…*a picture of Jin came to his mind*…definitely…
Koki: Makes me want to see her someday! Then, is it ok for me to not hesitate and take Maki-chan away from you!
Kame: Please do!
There was a moment in silence when Kazuya was deep in thought thinking about his life and how it reached this point. He killed the silence with a sudden question.
Kame: Koki?
Koki: Yeah?
Kame: What do you think about your purpose in life?
Koki: Huh?
Kame: *with expectant eyes*
Koki: *coughs* well….I don’t really think I found my purpose in life!
Kame: What if you did? What will you do?
Koki: I will work hard to achieve it whatever it is!
Kame: And what happens if you lost that purpose?
Koki: What’s up with these questions Kame?
Kame: Will you just answer me?
Koki: Well…if I lose my purpose in life…I guess I’ll search for another one!
Kame: What happens if you can’t find another purpose? What happens if you’re purpose in life is only that one?
Koki: What are you saying? I don’t think I’ll give up on that purpose nor finding another one to replace it, or else….how will I be able to continue living?
Kame: What if you know that there is no other purpose for you? What if you reached a point where you can’t...*in chocked tone* live anymore without that purpose?….what happens when everyone and everything around you is making you give up?
Koki: Ok, what is this all about? What are we even talking about?
Kame: About our purpose in life!
Koki: It sounds almost as if you’re talking about something else….what do you mean by your purpose in life…
Kame: It could be anything….a dream…or someone…
Koki: Tell me then, what is your purpose in life?
Kame: I-I….it’s ….being with someone…
Koki: AH! That someone you have back in home?
Kame: *nods*
Koki: then isn’t it easy?
Kame: *looks at Koki confused*
Koki: All you have to do is keep that someone close to you, right?
Kame: *mumbles* how can I do that when I’m trapped in this place?
Koki: What did you say?
Kame: *shakes his head* Nothing! *feeling little dizzy and lose his balance*
Koki: *catches him before falling* watch out!
Kame: Sorry
Koki: *worried* you’re ok?
Kame: I’m just feeling little dizzy! Sorry, but I think I will go back home!
Koki: I will take you home!
Kame: There is no need for-
Koki: There is no way I’m leaving you like this! You might pass out in the road!
Kame: Koki!
Koki: I mean it Kame, now c’mon…for once, will you rely on me?
~Flashback~
Jin: We’ll never bring anyone even our friends to our home, okay?
Kame: Suits me perfectly!
Jin: Great! *grins*
~End of Flashback~
Kame: “It’s not like I’m going to break that promise because this place was never a home to me!”*after seconds he sighed* Fine!
Koki: *grins* great! Lead the way!
Koki supported Kame on his shoulder so he won’t lose balance especially that Kame was starting to have a blurry vision and becoming dizzier. Once they arrived in an alley that’s 2 blocks away from Kame’s home, Kame saw someone laying his back to the wall a little far. However, he couldn’t see clearly until he focused which made him gasp and stop moving. Koki looked at him puzzled and looked at the direction Kame was looking at where he saw that person. The person looked at them immediately taking notice of their presence. He looked at Kame with gentle eyes. Kame’s heart started to beat so loudly and his body had Goosebumps which was noticed by Koki.
Koki: What’s wrong Kame? Do you know that person?
Kame: Ye- *looks at Koki immediately with widen eyes once he absorbed what Koki said* c-can you see him??
Koki: *confused* Huh? Of course I can! Why would you ask that?
Kame: *looks back at the person* I-I…sorry….I thought I was seeing things….dizzy and all!
Koki: No worries!
Kame: it’s ok now Koki, he will take me back!
Koki: you know him?
Kame: Yeah *takes a deep breath while looking at that person* he’s my cousin!
Koki: Alright! See ya tomorrow!
Kame: *nods while his eyes never left the eyes of the person in front of him*
Koki was hesitating to leave Kame because the atmosphere was very weird and he could feel tension in the air. The person was looking sharply at Koki which scared Koki and he felt so weird. He felt even weirder that Kame didn’t introduce his cousin to him. Kame chuckled in bitterness while looking at the person.
Kame: Will you stop murdering him in your mind?
Jin: *looks back at Kazuya* you know me very well! *scratches his face* so who is he?
Kame: Just a friend! Why? You’re jealous!
Jin: *mumbles* How can I not?
Kame: Is this another dream? Because Koki just saw you, so maybe none of this is actually real…well, it’s doesn’t matter…
Jin: I never knew that people dream while being awake *walks till he was close to Kazuya and extends his hand to touch Kazuya’s cheek* Kazu
Kame: *heart racing like a crazy and pain filling his chest* Jin? *holds his hand on top of Jin while his body started to tremble* are you…really real?
Jin: I think so! *smiles*
Kame: You always answer me that though
Jin: Huh?
Kame: I’ve been waiting for you Jin!
Kame immediately wraps his hands on Jin’s neck so tightly while tears silently travel down from his eyes. Jin wrapped his hands on Kazuya’s waist as tightly as Kazuya’s holding his neck, his face resting on Kazuya’s neck while his tears are falling as well.
Jin: Sorry for being late!
While walking, Koki remembered Kame’s wallet and went back to give it back. While walking to the earlier alley, he stopped immediately upon seeing the scene displayed in front of him. His friend Kame was holding and being held very tightly. He could hear his friend calling ‘Jin’ as a mantra. He left the alley and leaned to the wall next to it. Truth dawned to his system seeing them holding each other like that, he could only feel love radiating from them.
Koki: No wonder Maki-chan didn’t have a chance from the beginning……*glances to his right without looking at them* your cousin Kame? *starts to walk away* “That’s definitely tough!”
Kame: Jin!! *sobs* Jin! I knew they were lying to me! I knew you were coming for me!!
Jin: I promised you, didn’t I? I can never break a promise with you!! God, I missed you so much babe!
Kame: I missed you more!
Both of them kept holding each other tightly till they finally calmed down and their eyes stopped raining tears. They backed away from each other to look at each other faces, but Jin couldn’t wait any longer and started kissing him. Kazuya was startled; it was the first time they kissed in such a place. Yes, they always would do so in their secret place, but that place is deserted from people; however, they were standing in a public place where people were passing by the alley. But, Kazuya returned the kiss. It was just like their first kiss, tasting each other very slowly without rushing. It held so many deep emotions and longing and started to speed up where Jin slipped his tongue inside of Kazuya’s mouth causing both of them to moan. Kazuya was the first to break the kiss since breathe became necessary.
Kame: W-wh…what…..happened?
Jin: Long…story…C’mon, I’m staying…in a motel close from here…
Kame: *hooked his arm with Jin’s* you won’t disappear on me if we went there, right?
Jin: Kazu *hook his fingers with Kazuya’s* I won’t go anywhere anymore Kazu! I promise!
Kame: *smiles and nods*
~In the motel~
Kazuya was leaning to Jin, giving his back to Jin while enjoying the warmth of Jin’s chest and the tight hold of his hands on his waist. Jin was exhaling Kazuya’s scent from his neck while dropping soft kisses there. Kazuya unwrapped a hand of Jin’s and brought it to his lips kissing it lovingly while lifting his head to lean it over Jin’s head, his nose nuzzling on Jin’s cheeks.
Kazuya: *in a chocked tone* I really…missed you
Jin: Me too
Kazuya: I don’t care if you’re real or not anymore or if this is a dream or not….I just want to be with you Jin!
Jin: Were you dreaming about me that much?
Kazuya: What do you think?
Jin: Me too, it drove me crazy…
Kazuya: But you always end up disappearing on me
Jin: Well, you always end up out of my reach
Kazuya: Jin….my mom……she…..said awful things about you….
Jin: *raised his face away looking at Kazuya* what did she say?
Kazuya: She said…..that you….you….died….killed yourself…
Jin: *looking away from Kazuya’s gaze*
Kazuya: *lifts up Jin’s face so his eyes meet his* Jin?
Jin: It’s true
Kazuya: *pain stabbed his heart remembering his nightmares* forget I asked! I don’t care! Just don’t disappear please! *turning around to hug Jin tightly* let us stay longer like this!
Jin: I’m sorry Kazu!
Kazuya: No, please Jin…*tears falling*...don’t leave me alone!! Please!! Please take me away with you!!
Jin: *hugs Kazuya tightly* I already told you that I won’t leave you again!
Kazuya: Then stop saying sorry!!
Jin: I’m sorry because of what I did! I….If I….
Kazuya: It’s doesn’t matter….as long as I can touch you like this again…..I don’t care about anything else….
Jin: *pushes Kazuya away gently to face him* Kazu, listen to me….I’m real! What am I supposed to do to make you believe me?
Kazuya: Hold me! *places both his hands on Jin’s cheeks* hold me tightly and never let go of me!
Jin: I’m holding you right now, aren’t I?
Kazuya: No! I want you Jin; I want to feel you deep in me!
---------
Kazuya: That’s enough Jin
Jin: But, I have to prepare you thoroughly…it’s been a while and I don’t have a lube…
Kazuya: I don’t care! I want you inside of me now babe!!
Jin: Kazu, I’m not going anywhere, so why are you rushing this?
Kazuya: How would I know you won’t?
Jin: Fine, but don’t complain how it hurts later!
Jin placed his manhood on Kazuya’s private hole, slipping the tip and trying to slide it whole inside. But, it truly was hurting Kazuya who groaned from the sharp pain, but had his hands on Jin’s arms pushing him deep inside of himself…Jin finally was deep inside Kazuya, but didn’t move at all while Kazuya had teary eyes while breathing heavily feeling penetrated deeply.
Kazuya: Move Jin
Jin: That’s enough Kazu *wraps his hands on Kazuya’s neck*I know how badly it hurts you!
Kazuya: I want to feel…this pain…please….ugh….it’s making me…feel…*breathes heavily*alive again!
Jin: Babe please I can’t hu-
But Jin couldn’t continue what he was saying because he watched his younger boyfriend lose conscious made him freak out.
Kazuya finally opened his eyes still absorbed when suddenly he remembered what happened and rushed to sit, but groaned loudly in pain. His back hurts so badly as well as numbed ass. After couple of seconds, he started laughing knowing that this was real….it can’t be imagination, right?
He looked around and noticed the weird surroundings then remembered he was in the motel in Jin’s room. He looked around for Jin, calling his name, but there was no answer. Kazuya started to panic yelling Jin’s name loudly while trying with his remaining strength to leave the bed. He went to the bathroom in hope to find Jin, but he saw no one. He went back to the room and noticed that there was nothing of Jin’s possession. His tears started to fall and he kept yelling.
Kazuya: You promised me!! Why did you break your promise?? You said you won’t disappear!!! WHY??? WHY JIN???
Kazuya was crying hysterically like an abandoned puppy not being able to lift his body anymore because all strength left him. He truly felt abandoned and didn’t know if what happened is real or not. Was he imagining the pain he was feeling in his back too? Then how did he come to this motel? Thoughts kept flying around his head, but what hurt him the most is the fact that he truly lost it. What’s happening to him?
Chapter 10: What Really Happened…?