01 | Video

[passthetophat]

[The feed opens up to a truly stunning view of the floor, where it wobbles back and forth slightly. Very British, annoyed mumbling can be heard in the background.]

-stupid, what's the point of having a book about- completely and totally pointless, must've been a hell of a night

Comments

voice

[nicotine_patch]

This feed's givin' me nausea. I can't tell if it's your beer-bloat face or the motion sickness.

Voice

[passthetophat]

Oh, brilliant, that's quite charming, quite good on the... answering questions bit.

Don't suppose you could offer up anything useful?

Re: Voice

[nicotine_patch]

F'r yer refugee fund or a smoke or a favour, maybe. Info ain't free!

Voice

[passthetophat]

Tell ya what, mate. Help me find my way around this ship, and I'll buy you a drink.

Consider it a nausea aid.

Re: Voice

[nicotine_patch]

Works f'r me.

What'cha name, where ya from, an' what'dya wanna know?

Re: Voice

[passthetophat]

Hatter. Wonderland. Who the hell are those sneeze people, what've they done with Wonderland, and have you seen a woman named Alice about?

Who're you?

Re: Voice

[nicotine_patch]

[Wonderland? Alice?]

-- If you're gonna be a twat I ain't gonna waste my time!

Re: Voice

[nicotine_patch]

Next you'll be askin' me where the March Hare is at an' if he's holdin' a fresh stash. KEEP WALKIN', CHUMP.

Re: Voice

[passthetophat]

Oi! I'm not- what does that even-

I am not a twat.

[He pauses, and bristles.]

I take it you've heard of the place? Probably in the children's book? Lovely little story for you lot, isn't it? Lovely little novel, nice read.

Hate to break it to you, mate, but that book's a load of rubbish. It keeps you separate from us, and we like to keep it that way, thanks very much.

Some people.

Re: Voice HOW MANY EDITS CAN I POSSIBLY DO

[nicotine_patch]

[there's a long few moments pause, only briefly broken by the catch of a lighter]

[and a quiet, thoughtful inhale]

-- Y'know. You're either banana-crazy bonkers or from some real nutball universe where cats stand on their heads.

I guess I'm interested either way. Though you're probably still a twat.

Re: Voice SO MANY EDITS

[passthetophat]

I knew a cat that could do that once. Name was Bernard. Fella who taught him to do it used to take him around bars and make bets. Got so wasted on rounds of Glee, he-

[He paused, then cleared his throat.]

Right. Sorry. It's real. And, admittedly, teensy bit nutball, but definitely real, and I need to find her.

I know you are, but what am I?

Re: Voice ARE YOU DAZZLED BY THEM

[nicotine_patch]

...I guess if I can believe in aliens an' bullshit wizards an' superheroes an' creepy murdertots, I can give you an' your maybe-delusions a shot.

[answers the quieter comeback at full volume] You're still a twat, I said.

Re: Voice

[nicotine_patch]

I'm Badou, Badou Nails. Your world's really got fucked over, an' your Alice might show up. Or she might not.

Re: Voice DAZZLED LIKE A VEGETARIAN VAMPIRE IN SUNSHINE

[passthetophat]

[He's just going to pause there for a second, before mumbling to himself.] Oh, brilliant, it's that kid from the breakfast club.

Right. Listen. You've been super helpful. Really. Totally great. But is there anything you can tell me that makes sense?

And doesn't involve me being... y'know... a twat.

Re: Voice OH MY GOODNESS

[nicotine_patch]

Am I the pretty rich girl~?

Re: Voice

[nicotine_patch]

[but seems to get his assholery under control for a minute, adding]

The Thor rescues people usin' the improbability drive. So now that you're here, it's less probable other people'll be saved from your world. Which means it's more likely ta happen. Get it?

So your Alice chick might get rescued, too.