18 [video]

[trickstermentor]

[Welcome to room 7-2. It seems to be an ordinary night... Urahara is wearing an apron and is in the kitchen, and it seems that he's about to address the guide properly when Yoruichi walks in, and things get... a little strange.]

What's for dinner?

It's- [...the word is held for longer than usual. And then. Urahara Kisuke breaks into song. To the

Comments

[action]

[goneonenight]

[frowns]

[steps over a couple of kittens]

[is just...not going to talk if she doesn't have to]

[action]

[trickstermentor]

[Is trying very hard not to sing.

But he's humming. Oh dear. It's no use.]

Re: [action]

[goneonenight]

[flops on the couch to wait for him to finish dinner]

[tries to block out the humming and absently scoots over to let Bowie jump up on the couch next to her]

[she doesn't yet notice what he's carrying in his mouth]

[action]

[trickstermentor]

[Goes back to chopping up the vegetables for the nabe. And still singing.]

I'm cooking! I'm cooking!
For the one I love~
She's hungry She's hungry
Today Today

Re: [action]

[goneonenight]

As dense as you are, pay attention
My words are a matter of pride
It's clear from your silly expression
You're content to just sit and abide

[Bowie growls as he chews on his new toy]

[Yoruichi finally looks down at him]

[...]

[is that]

[is that what's left of her brand new--]

KISUKE.

[action]

[trickstermentor]

[Looks over his shoulde- oh crap.]

[Oh crap he genuinely did not mean to leave that cupboard open when he went to work. And she is never going to believe that is she?]

[Um.]

[...]

It's... a... mess, it's a mess!
An accident and nothing less!
Though you think I gave it to the dog,
I didn't, I confess.

Though that thing I abhor
I just forgot to shut the door
You might think was deliberate
But I'm not so inconsid'rate!

Re: [action]

[goneonenight]

[jumps up, startling the dog]

Hell no, hell no, no more bullshit for me
Enough is enough; I've had it, and welp,
Fess up, me heartie, yo ho!
You break all my toys, and claim it's to help
Fess up, me heartie, yo ho!

Re: [action]

[trickstermentor]

[Turns and looks appalled. And adopts another song:]

The real thing is always better,
If you have a pressing need.
Why must you insist on that thing,
And its adjustable speed?
Just look at the man before you,
Right here on your bedroom floor.
Such wonderful things around you!
What more are you looking for?

No battery
No battery!
Darling I'm better
I'll make you wetter
Take it from me!
A vibrator will give out one day,
With me you'll get a bettter lay
My dear I'm not bragging,
Let's get to shagging
No battery!

Re: [action]

[goneonenight]

[she is actually speechless for a moment]

[what the hell]

[what the hell]

[recovers, looking utterly outraged as she starts to sing]

You've got no room for complaining
You're getting sex all the time
I don't go round breaking your toys
But you're doing it to mine
When you're in the lab all damn week
What am I supposed to do?
You're down there having your you time
Don't I get to have mine too?

Just cut it out.
Just cut it out!
They don't need destroying,
It's so annoying
DON'T YOU DARE POUT
The next time you pull a stunt this crass
I'm going to kick your lazy ass
Put your pants back on
Don't care 'bout your hard on,
Just cut it out!

Re: [action]

[trickstermentor]

[And now]

There really is no need,
There really is no need!
Can't you see that I can make
You a toy that will make all your muscles quake?
You're too good for these for heaven's sake!
Girl, there really is no need!

Re: [action]

[goneonenight]

[stomps over and grabs his collar]

[yanks his face down to hers and snarls]

Stop

BREAKING

MY

VIBRATORS.

[set to the tune of nothing but murderous rage]

Re: [action]

[trickstermentor]

[T-this murderous rage seems to have stopped him.]

In my defense-

Re: [action]

[goneonenight]

[gives him a little shake]

No.

Re: [action]

[trickstermentor]

It wasn't-

Re: [action]

[goneonenight]

NO.

Re: [action]

[trickstermentor]

Bowie-