New Silent Hill Features! XD
Ok, this kinda old, but I found this article on something awful about Silent Hill 5 exclusive scoops, basically listing the “new features and fixes” of the (at the time) upcoming game. Although most of these probably won't be funny unless you've played some of the Silent Hill games (or at least have knowledge of the gameplay/stories), these are some of the more humorous points of the list.
- The hero of the game will be a middle-aged woman who lost her handbag and is looking for it in Silent Hill. “Have you seen my handbag?”
- Fog will be replaced with "more fog."
- More holes are in development (some are gone now) XDDDDDDD
- The entire game consists of one extremely long hallway almost entirely filled with doors that have broken locks. The single door lacking a broken lock is welded to the wall.
- Utilizing the power of the ps360 rust will have realistic particle effects and will actually spread during the six years it takes you to solve the nonsensical object puzzles.
- Recurring character Heather from Silent Hill 3 will be renamed "Cheatherlessa Magillespieon" to reduce confusion as to her identity.
- Echoes of childish laughter can be still heard throughout the game, but now with 40% more fart noises and paper crumpling.
- SH5 will contain more "Jacob's Ladder" references than any other Silent Hill.
- There are only two save points in the game. One of them is at the bottom of a 3000-foot staircase that takes nine minutes to descend. The other is in a locked room behind an impassable chain link fence.
- On "relatively easy mode" the main character follows the creepy gas station attendant's advice not to go to Silent Hill. He turns his car around and goes back home. The remainder of the game is a driving simulator.
- Each character you meet will have a intensive and deep back story. Not just any back story however, but a make-it-yourself interactive back story shrouded in mystery where you will have to make all the assumptions on their abusive parents, drug abuse and weightlifting careers before coming to Silent Hill!
- Player demand has led to a 90% increase in bathtubs which you can't see into due to the camera angle.
- This will give way to a spinoff sequel titled "Silent Hood" where the wayward monsters take up residence in the projects. One of the levels will be a hospital emergency waiting room that features over 4 hours of gameplay. Plenty of handguns will be found.
- The hero of the game will be a middle-aged woman who lost her handbag and is looking for it in Silent Hill. “Have you seen my handbag?”
- Fog will be replaced with "more fog."
- More holes are in development (some are gone now) XDDDDDDD
- The entire game consists of one extremely long hallway almost entirely filled with doors that have broken locks. The single door lacking a broken lock is welded to the wall.
- Utilizing the power of the ps360 rust will have realistic particle effects and will actually spread during the six years it takes you to solve the nonsensical object puzzles.
- Recurring character Heather from Silent Hill 3 will be renamed "Cheatherlessa Magillespieon" to reduce confusion as to her identity.
- Echoes of childish laughter can be still heard throughout the game, but now with 40% more fart noises and paper crumpling.
- SH5 will contain more "Jacob's Ladder" references than any other Silent Hill.
- There are only two save points in the game. One of them is at the bottom of a 3000-foot staircase that takes nine minutes to descend. The other is in a locked room behind an impassable chain link fence.
- On "relatively easy mode" the main character follows the creepy gas station attendant's advice not to go to Silent Hill. He turns his car around and goes back home. The remainder of the game is a driving simulator.
- Each character you meet will have a intensive and deep back story. Not just any back story however, but a make-it-yourself interactive back story shrouded in mystery where you will have to make all the assumptions on their abusive parents, drug abuse and weightlifting careers before coming to Silent Hill!
- Player demand has led to a 90% increase in bathtubs which you can't see into due to the camera angle.
- This will give way to a spinoff sequel titled "Silent Hood" where the wayward monsters take up residence in the projects. One of the levels will be a hospital emergency waiting room that features over 4 hours of gameplay. Plenty of handguns will be found.